It was a quiet day in a wooded area, surrounding a bustling trade center sporting a river and curious rock formations that attracted people who liked such things as oddly shaped rocks in the middle of the woods. Light filtered down through the leaves, dappling the ground. Birds chirped as butterflies lazily moved through the air with their lilting beauty, suckling at the flowers that lined the beaten path. It was one of those days that had everyone in the Land of Fire who didn't actually have something to do to sit back and wonder at the laurels life had handed them, instead of cursing the powers that be for things like expensive groceries or an impotent husband. It was one of those days.

Mitsui sat under a tree, avoiding any actual work that he was supposed to do. Now, Mitsui wasn't ever someone with a penchant towards optimism, or even positive thought of any kind. Be it the beginning of a new day, a steamy afternoon at the hot springs, or an evening tea, it all had the same outcome: something decidedly horrible, the likes of which would make even the most determined of optimists shudder. This held true at all times with only one exception: when it was raining. Mitsui really did love the rain. It made everything better. It wasn't raining, nor had it for a month.

"GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID FUCKER!"

Mitsui watched as a sturdily built brunette riding on the back of an absurdly large dog pursued a tall blond in a garish orange jumpsuit down the road at high speed. Minutes later followed what was presumably the rest of the group, composed of a white haired man, a pink haired girl with a five-head, a solar-phobic scene kid with black-out glasses, and a wiry girl with oily hair. None of them paid any attention to Mitsui under his tree a few yards off the trail.

"Ninjas. Again. Hoo-ray."

Mitsui slowly arose from his resting place, secured his sword to his back, and headed into the woods to enter the town the back way.

It was one of those days.

Naruto didn't know why he did certain things, he just did them. That's what you do when you have too much energy, a need for attention, and impulse control problems. He did things like steal people's things, glue people to chairs, and in one case slipped Viagra into the sake at the Leaf Village hot springs. Now, most people didn't know that it was him who did these things, but it got on people's nerves and when people griped about it, it was as if they were complaining about him—which is all that matters to a being such as he. More than once though, Kiba had caught Naruto in the midst of pranking, and gleefully joined in with the fun. What Naruto didn't understand was that Kiba himself was far from interested in being pranked himself, which Naruto was in the process of learning as Kiba dangled him from the high branch of a tree above the waiting jaws of Akamaru in true Batman style.

Naruto had to think fast to get out of this one. Unfortunately, thinking of any kind was not exactly his strong point.

"Look, Kiba, I didn't mean to-"

"You took it you bastard, and then you broke it!"

"But that doesn't mean you have to turn me into a chew toy!

"You break it, you replace it. Literally."

And so Kiba dropped him. Naruto's life before he became a human chew toy flashed before his eyes, leading him onward to a dreary and painful future filled with dog slobber.

Sakura never liked Naruto. Sure, they were friends but she didn't like him—at least not the way everyone thought she did. He was more like a delinquent brother than anything else, and it was moments like these when he was being fed to Akamaru that she really did wish she cared more about his well being. Or at least care enough to stop the scene playing out in front of her, but she was much too entertained by it.

She barely noticed Hinata beside her dealing with her ridiculous internal conflict of indulging her enjoyment of slapstick and her devotion to Naruto. This was not an unusual occurrence.

"Um… Do you think maybe we-"

"No."

"Why?"

"It's too funny."

"Oh… ok…"

Shino didn't enjoy working on a team with people like Hinata and Kiba. Hinata was, and always will be, completely useless besides the fact that she had the Byakugan. Kiba wasn't nearly tactful enough to deal with complex issues that didn't have a solution involving breaking through a wall. Sakura and Naruto weren't exactly ideal teammates either. Kakashi… was eccentric to say the least. All of the porn and having the eye of your dead best friend didn't seem too beneficial to one's mental health. Idiots. At least he had his bugs.

Kakashi handled the situation with a kind of tact that no one else could have: a shadow clone and two inappropriately placed fingers. Some guys just didn't know how to take it. After his intervention, he arranged the group ninja placed under his command before him to debrief.

"Ok everybody, here's the plan: first we will stop at the scene. Shino and Naruto, it is your job to secure the perimeter. Keep an eye on passer-byes and make sure that no one is too curious. Sakura, you're on body duty. Handle the autopsies. Hinata, you use your Byakugan to examine the topography of the space and look for irregularity. Kiba, use your nose in the same way to look for anything odd. Oh, and Kiba, I have bad news."

"What?"

"Akamaru needs to stay in the outskirts of town."

"What? Why?"

"A giant dog is too conspicuous. This city is by no means tiny, but the fact of the matter is that we might be dealing with enemy ninja. It's one thing to know that we're here, it's another to give them that much information about our combat abilities."

"What does Akamaru say about combat?"

"Kiba, he's a giant dog that clearly is one raised by a well known dog raising clan from the leaf village. What doesn't that say?"

"Fine."

"Everyone understand what we're doing?"

The various younger ninja looked around at each other and then nodded vigorously, Except for Shino, who shrugged.

"Good. Let's move out."

As the ninja moved out to the scene, Kakashi took a moment to look around and think.

Something felt very, very wrong here. The ninja who were killed weren't high level ninja—they were only Chunnin. What's more, it wasn't like they were dealing with any secret information. They were just a resident squad that dealt with low-level renegade ninja from neighboring kingdoms. And when they are investigating, a group, they were supposed to immediately report to the leaf.

Something was wrong here.

The bonus of being someone who used the gentle fist fighting style was that Hinata never had to see blood. Lee and Guy, they had to see the broken and bloody bodies of their enemies. Kiba ripped his opponents apart, literally. For Hinata, a few punches and her enemy is incapacitated and dying. Quick and easy.

The apartment had enough blood for a lifetime of battle. It was everywhere. Blood on the walls, the ceiling, pooling on the table and desks… There was just much too much. She just looked around dumbfounded as Sakura and Kakashi went about looked around.

Sakura looked confused.

"Um… Sakura… What's wrong?"

"I'm just very confused. Where are the bodies?"

"Oh… I don't know. Give me a second."

Hinata made a few quick hand signs and focused. Byakugan.

The apartment was completely plain, besides the blood. There was a bathroom, a kitchen, a kind of entry-room/dining room/living room situation and—

"Oh… How many people lived here?"

Kakashi gave her a look.

"What do you mean?"

"I think I found them. They're in the bedroom, I think."

The only thing Hinata hated more than blood was when you could see what it was coming from.

Naruto did not get along with Shino. Shino was weird, and never talked, and if you were really quiet you could here this sound like a hive of bees coming from him. The usual creepy things of someone who holds bugs on the same level as people. He never really forgot when Hinata told him about the leeches in the Chunnin exam.

He also didn't really understand why he was just sitting out here on the roof doing nothing. This is always what happened. Sakura was off doing her medical ninja thing, Kakashi was leading the group, and Naruto got stuck on watch duty.

"'Naruto go watch people.' They're people. What is there to watch?"

"You're an idiot Naruto."

"I wasn't talking to you, Shino."

"The reason we're out here is because we might be dealing with enemy Ninja. There aren't many people besides another ninja that can kill a squad of Chunnin. Anyone down there could be targeting us."

"I don't like all this waiting and shit. I just want to get there, kick ass, and go. It's just simpler that way."

"Idiot."

The room made Kiba feel sick. Blood and parts were everywhere. Sakura had spent the past 5 minutes just cataloguing body parts that had been thrown around the space. The smell of it all was intoxicatingly sweet—like a flower that is so sickly sweet that it gives you a headache. Kakashi touched his shoulder.

"If you need to get some fresh air, feel free to go outside."

"I'll… go do that."

As Kiba slunk against the door, his mind was racing, just trying to process what he had seen. He didn't know why the blood had that effect on him. It had never happened before.

Another thought crossed his mind. Why hadn't he smelled the room when he first entered? Kiba prided himself on his nose—it can sniff out anything within 3 miles if the wind was right. In a small apartment like that he should have found that three blocks down the street. But he hadn't. There must have been some jutsu in place, but shouldn't Hinata have seen it? Maybe it was hiding in plain sight… some kind of dormant jutsu that had been active from the start and seemed to fit in with ambient chakra emanations, which is also why he hadn't smelled it out…

He had to warn them, something was wrong and he could feel it in his nose.

Kakera watched the rooftop Ninja. This was her favorite part of things like this. The ants crawling towards the blob of honey carefully placed upon the ground only to be trapped like rats in a maze. She made the decision of life or death, holding them in her hands. Does she have a god complex? Yes. Without a doubt.

"Sometimes I can't believe how easy this all is. If only everything had come into place already I could just start my end game right now."

She clicked on her telecom radio.

"Kakera here, checking in."

"Mitsui. Present. Coming in clear."

"Zeiss is ready for action. I'm sick of all this waiting."

"The lattice is in place, as are the bugs. Initiate test protocol."

"Understood."

"Hey Kakera, you know, there's a Hyuga girl in the squad—"

"No Killing, Zeiss. The decision is final."

"You're such a pain in the ass. I'll handle the topside rats then."

Kakera shut off the connection. Mitsui was boring and Zeiss was a loose canon. They made perfect teammates for situations like this. They kept things interesting.

Naruto and Shino hadn't talked since the last interaction 2 hours previous. Shino was just so weird. He didn't talk, or do anything. He just sat there and buzzed, and buzzed, and it was so damn creepy.

A thump on the roof interrupted that thought.

"Oh, I only get two? Well, you two better be fun, or else I'll have to kill you."

Naruto whipped around to—

Sakura was still trying to catalogue the body parts. So far she had a total of 386 pieces that theoretically were the components of three different bodies—the squad previously stationed in the trade town. She couldn't even figure out why it happened. The range of injuries present on the body parts were completely polar. On one side of things, the bodies were sliced to bits, but on a very small scale, the organs were covered in nearly microscopic puncture wounds. It didn't make sense. No weapon or jutsu that she knew of was capable of something like this, not even Naruto's Rasenshuriken… Though the puncture wounds were not that much different than what Tsunade had shown her.

"Umm… Sakura…"

"Not now Hinata, I'm—"

"You're one of those kind of teams, aren't you?"

Sakura turned around. A man in a camouflaged, knee-length coat stood in the doorway. She couldn't get a good look at his face and there was a long Katana strapped to his waist. He was holding a knocked out Kakashi by the scruff in his right hand. This was bad.

Naruto went rolling over the side before he could even turn around. It was between Shino and the strange Ninja. He was a little shorter, with a loose fitting tank top and ninja pants. He had dark hair, dark eyes, and a wicked smile. Something was very scary about this ninja.

The ninja smiled.

"You better be more fun than Blondie over there, or this is gonna be messy."

Shino began releasing his bugs.

"Oh, you're one of them creepy bug guys. This really will be fun!"

The ninja closed in unnaturally fast and unleashed a flurry of kicks and punches—it was all Shino could do to avoid a critical blow like what happened to Naruto.

"Looks like I was wrong. It seems you're unused to dealing with opponents who use taijutsu. You're boring. Nighty-night, bugsy."

RASENGAN!

In true Naruto fashion, he came from underneath Dark-Eyes and hit him in the stomach—

Hinata had never been so scared. It was just her and Sakura in a small room with a ninja strong enough to knock out Kakashi-sensei. There was only one thing to do.

Byakugan.

The ninja didn't even flinch. He just looked at her coldly.

"Byakugan. Hyuga clan specialty. Allows vision of almost all things, including the chakra system and extremely miniscule objects and life forms."

Water style Kenjutsu: Wave blade

"How did I miss?"

One second he was there, the next he was gone. It just didn't make sense. Naruto swore he felt contact.

"That was very nearly a good hit. Seems like I can go a little harder than I—what the hell are these?"

Insects covered the ninjas arm as he began flailing it back and forth during a grade-A level freak out. Shino was creepy, but he always had an ace in the hole.

"Just kidding."

All of the chakra eating insects covering the ninja's body dropped dead.

"You see, I have something that you would call 'very impressive chakra control.' The human body is covered in chakra points that can release, well, chakra. I can perfectly control the release of this chakra, and weaponize it to inflict damage. I'm a living weapon."

"Fine then. But no one has infinite chakra at their disposal. Shadow clone jutsu!"

He made ten clones. After the experience he got from fighting Neji, those should be enough to take out this guy.

"1 vs. 100, eh? It's game time."

Cue fight sequence.

The room was trashed. Everything was soaked. Hinata was slumped against the wall. Kakashi's unconscious body was in the doorway, with the ninja standing in front of him, sword drawn. Sakura got to her feet.

"I'm fucked."

"It's one of those days."

The sword wielding Ninja prepared his blade for the final strike.

Naruto didn't know what to do. The guy's fighting style was so weird, and lilting, prancing around the battle. Neither Naruto nor Shino had been able to land a finger on him. He was just too fast. There had to be some way to seal his movement.

"Is that all you two kids have? Well, then this game is over. I'm going to finish you both with a single move. It's very pretty, and absolutely exhilarating."

Water Style Kenj—

Lightning Blade!

The water clone burst apart in a shower of water. Kakashi knew that he'd have to get a surprise attack in to finish this quickly, but didn't anticipate having to deal with a water clone. If only Hinata weren't down they'd at least have more of an advantage.

"Sakura come over here, we can't leave oursel—

Sakura followed her instincts and charged in to defend her sensei.

The floor exploded as Kiba shot out of it using his Fang over Fang. The fun-obsessive opponent just barely avoided a fatal hit, and Naruto and Shino were in the clear. Kiba smiled to himself a little as he realized that now Naruto owed him one. He landed between his comrades and the enemy.

"If you want to get to Naruto, you'll have to get through me."

The ninja's arm was bleeding, and hung limp at his side. He clutched it.

"This is… Much less fun. Which is my cue to—"

Naruto used a burst of chakra for a final move.

"Oh no you don't! Rasengan!"

Naruto missed as the ninja went over the side of the building at top speed.

"Dammit!"

The trio of Shino, Kiba, and Naruto pursued.

"Damn. A substitution."

What Mitsui had thought was Kakashi was in fact a log. The Five-head was charging toward him, and the leader was hidden. He already had an idea of their abilities so the mission could be considered over.

Water Style: Water Transfer Jutsu

He appeared at the other side of the room and jumped out the window as the girl's fist came smashing down and demolished a doorway.

"A chakra release jutsu to maximize physical power at point of impact. Similarity to Kakera's impact. "

He rolled with the landing and raised his head to see Zeiss barreling over the side of the roof.

"It really is one of those days."

Zeiss really hated it when things didn't go his way. He really, really hated it. And on top of it all, he had to pretend to be hurt. He had enough information on the enemies' abilities. Now it was all up to Kakera's big, grand, plan—whatever the fuck that was. He landed next to Mitsui.

"Let's plow."

"Colloquialism for leaving combat?"

"Sure, whatever."

As the leaf village quintet swarmed from the building to engage Mitsui and Zeiss, the pair disappeared in a gust of wind.

End of Chapter 1