She would often lie there for days when not on a mission and when she was on a mission she wouldn't talk, she wouldn't eat and she never smiled, not once.
Her heart had been shattered and she couldn't conceive getting up in the morning and facing anyone, Lenalee Lee had been like this ever since Allen Walker had left the Black Order, ever since he said he loved her and everyone else in the order, ever since that last embrace that had left her so cold and alone.
It had been 3 months since then and Lenalee had just gotten back from a mission with Lavi and Crowley, Lavi had kept trying to cheer her up but to no avail she would then hate herself for being so pathetic. The whole mood of the order had dropped as Komui was pushing his anger and depression onto the other scientists especially as Lenalee stopped making the coffee and Komui had tried and failed many a time to make the "perfect" cup.
That evening after Lenalee had returned and gone straight up to her room as she always did, it was almost like a ritual now; she would go upstairs, wash her hair, lie on her bed hugging her pillow and trying to cry but she could never produce any tears anymore. She had grieved all she could. This ritual had given her plenty of time to think and today, as she lay there, she began to wonder why she felt so empty without Allen around; she coped so long before he was in her life but the time they had spent together had really left a deep impression on her.
She eventually drifted off to sleep where she had one of her recurring dreams. In her dream she would open her eyes and find herself floating in a dark space, she would look around into the foreboding darkness and start to panic as flashes of memories from the past would appear. She would scream and run for what seemed like forever until she would someone's back, the back appeared to belong to Allen but when they turned around all she could see was the Millennium Earl's face as he laughed and stared at her intensely. It was at this point that she would wake up however tonight was different; she didn't sleep long enough for his face to scare her awake tonight she awoke to a tapping on her window. It was dark outside but she could tell the sun would rise soon. She could also make out the sound of rain hitting the window and at first brushed off the sound as rain but she suddenly saw something at the window and she heard a voice which when she heard brought tears to her eyes.
"Tim stop bobbing up and down! I'm gonna fall in a minute!" Lenalee ran to the window and swung it open yet in doing so knocked she felt the panes hit something, that's when she saw him, soaked to the bone, crouching on an inflated Timcampy and clutching his nose. "Ah Lenalee" he said ,smiling when he said her name, quickly stopping the blood flowing from his nose "I'm sorry I woke you" he said still grinning from ear to ear. Lenalee just stood there, her mouth quivering her cheeks wet from tears and he hands tightly gripping the window panes, she couldn't speak. "Is it ok if I come in? I'm soaked and I can't say what I'm about to say in these conditions" His face was suddenly serious and Lenalee slowly backed away from the window allowing him to come in "Tim go home ok? I'll call you later to come pick me up". She couldn't look at him and just stared down at the floor. "Um...could I grab a towel? I'm soaked to the bone!" It took Lenalee a minute to comprehend what he was saying, for her to acknowledge his presence. Until all these built up emotions she had contained for the past three months came bubbling up to the surface and she burst into tears and ran to Allen rapping her arms around him and embracing him tightly than she had ever hugged anyone.
"L-Lenalee..." Allen said gently but he found he couldn't help himself either and hugged her back just as tightly with one hand cushioning her head. They stayed like that for half an hour as Lenalee slowly stopped crying and Allen rubbing her back affectionately, they slowly pulled away and looked at each other, Allen closed his eyes and lent his fore head on hers "...I'm sorry" he managed to say after a while "for everything...I...I'm sorry I put you through so much".
"...Allen" Lenalee finally managed to utter and she hugged him again. Hearing her say his name filled Allen with warmth, until he remembered how wet and cold he was.
"Ah Lenalee I've gotten you wet too!" He said laughing.
"Ah! You're right" she said and she smiled as she did so Allen felt himself blush. They parted and she grabbed two towels and a change of clothes for herself, she gave one to Allen as she got changed in the bathroom. When she came out Allen was in his boxers drying his hair, which was a lot shorter than before, as she looked at him she noticed all the bruises he had on his body.
"Allen your body!" she said in a worried tone.
"Ah my injuries? They're just from my training, I've been training quite intensively since I've been...gone" he slowed down his sentence and glanced at Lenalee who had stopped looking at him and had gone over to the bed. "That's partly why I came to visit" he said and went over to the bed and sat down next to her. "Listen, you have to understand that I didn't do this to hurt you or anything I just...I needed space and time to get my head straight and concentrate on getting strong enough to defeat the Earl"
"Allen" Lenalee started "I know that...I know you would never hurt me intentionally I just...it...it hurt Allen" she said her voice cracking "It really hurt and for ages I couldn't figure out why it hurt so much, but...but then I realised I didn't love you like a brother or a friend" she paused here causing Allen to feel his heart drop and a lump form in his throat "I loved you in a deeper way" he looked up and saw she was looking directly at him.
"Lenalee" Allen said softly as he saw her smiling. She laughed and said;
"I've missed you, Allen-Ku-" Lenalee stopped mid sentence as Allen put his hand gently on her cheek and drew her in closer until they were kissing they didn't have to speak to know that they were both feeling the same emotions and experience. They drew away slowly and stared at each other with their faces still close to each other Allen's hand stroking the side of her head. "I've wanted to do that for so long" Allen breathed his heart pounding, Lenalee smiled and nodded in response.
She leant back on the bed and Allen followed her, as they lay next to each other Lenalee began stroking and caressing Allen's features playfully as he kept stroking her hair softly she then moved her hand down to his chest and felt his heart beat, it was beating fast like hers, he drew her in again for a second kiss which was even more passionate and intense than the first.
For the rest of the night they lay facing each other talking until the sun rose where Lenalee snuggled up to Allen's chest and closed her eyes, she listened as he took deep breaths to try and calm his erratic heartbeat, she smiled and listened as he hummed her the 14th's song soothingly. She drifted off to this song which had now become a beautiful melody which made her forget about her life as an exorcist and allowed her to think about herself and Allen. For the first time in three months she slept peacefully.
When she awoke Allen was gone and she sat up quickly that's when she saw a letter addressed to her in Allen's handwriting at the foot of the bed, she quickly ripped it open and read the contents; "Lenalee I had to get back to training, I hated to leave you after such a beautiful night but I'm going to return every night I can to see you. I have to ask you to remain quiet about this, if the order found out about us being in contact with each other we would never be able to see each other again for a long time and I don't think I could manage another three months without you, see you soon. Love Allen" the note left a smile on her face and from that day on not just Lenalee but the whole order cheered up and was almost functioning like they did before Allen had left.