title: extra wheels
pairing: SakuSasu
notes: I was inspired by a friend's party. Being the third, fifth, or any other odd wheel out is not fun. But then again, I did make this one-shot out of my experiences.
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Fact: Cars are supposed to have four wheels.
(Not five,
Not six,
Four.)
Fact: Sakura Haruno was wheel numero five million and eleven.
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Extra Wheels
By pandastacia
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Dedicated to Chrissie who will probably never read this, the reason I had a friend to talk to at the party. :) Love you 4evr, dearie.
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I tried as hard as I could to not glare or glance at Ino. I mean, even though I had no idea who any of the other million people at this party were, I still wouldn't look at my only friend here like she was my 'call a friend' in some game of 'Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?'
That would have been so embarrassing and desperate and a load of other things that just flooded through my mind as I just sat there. I tried to find my fingers as interesting as that dark-haired girl standing next to that rambunctious blonde boy seemed to find hers, but it didn't work though the two people interested me. It was obvious that she liked him and he liked her.
But without a push, they would always be separate, even if their skin was just about touching. Kept apart by a fear of rejection, something they could possess that would prettier than a rainbow after the rain would have little chance of becoming substantial.
I shook my head.
A chance at the love of a lifetime was something they were just wasting. If only they knew exactly how lucky they were…
Jumping off the log I was perched on, I grabbed a Sprite from the cooler before straying farther away from the embers of the bonfire. Avoiding the people socializing familiarly was pretty easy. They were so into their own conversations that they never realized that there was a pink-haired girl inching towards the shadow.
To this day, I really don't know why I decided to go to this party that Ino had thrown together to close the summer before college with a bang. Maybe it was because I had originally thought Tenten and Temari would be there too, but they were busy with last minute preparations to get ready to start their sophomore year at Konoha University and Suna College respectively (I would be joining Tenten at Konoha in a week).
Which left me here, watching the fizzy bubbles in my soda bubble to the surface. Occasionally, I glanced up to watch Ino chat up the boys that flocked around her. She was the glittering light that attracts the moths so strongly.
How I wished I could be like that. Be free and less shy. More extroverted and less introverted. Be the sun and not the moon.
I sighed as a slight breeze blew over towards me and took a deep breath…
"Cough.
"Cough.
"Cough."
How did I forget that the stupid bonfire was still burning? It reached towards the sky, sending ashes flying and smoke in my direction.
Turning away before more smoke could enter my breathing space, I headed towards the shadow of the only tree in Ino's backyard. Like a giant bonsai tree, its impressive branches spread out like an umbrella, as if it could shield me from my private shame.
Perhaps save me from myself.
"Hn."
The grunt, coming from nowhere, startled me, making me whip around.
"Oh my gosh, are you okay? I didn't mean to, um…"
"Hn."
You know, I forgot how hard it is to speak when you're trying not to laugh.
Maybe you've never seen it, but a drop-dead-to-hell gorgeous guy with droplets of Sprite cascading down his forehead
(And whenever the electric light flickered on,
it looked like fireflies were partying on his head.)
is the epitome of ridiculous.
The force of trying not to laugh brought themselves out as silent tears that ran down my face. I don't think he saw them for the longest while.
For a while, it was like my way of laughing. Like, you know, laughing until I cried? Except I skipped the Laughing Phase and headed straight to crying.
Maybe that's why I knew that the reason that my pink hair was stuck to my face wasn't due to anything funny or humorous or particularly memorable.
Maybe that's why I began fingering the skin above my eyes, remembering the well-placed jibes from childhood, the reason I always shied away from company other than that of Ino, Tenten, and Temari.
The faux tears of laughter were frustration in a physical form; my way of expressing my sense of self-hatred to the world.
'Learn to love things about yourself'? That phrase is always said so often, but what does it mean? I know only the things about myself people (and myself in turn) hate about me.
My unnatural pink hair.
My large forehead.
My large green eyes.
The way I cry so easily.
Through my blurry vision, I saw the slight change of facial expression on the guy's face. At first it was startled, but it eased back into the expressionless he used as a façade.
"Hn."
Whatever that meant, I didn't care. I just took a seat next to him on the branch.
For the rest of the party, we just sat there together in silence. Nothing needed to be said, because it was a comfortable one. He said nothing and after awhile, my tears eased themselves away.
I didn't feel any better.
But somehow, just sharing the moment with someone who didn't judge me- that was what I needed most.
Someone who didn't tell little white lies.
Someone who didn't care.
Someone who accepted me.
Someone who just seemed to understand more than anyone else ever had without words.
Someone who, though it might have been my imagination, just gripped my shoulder in comfort once.
Just once.
And I felt healed.
Owari
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So go on. You know you want to click that lavender-slash-violet button.
And yes, the line about hating things about one's self is from book five of Fruits Basket. Makes sense here, so I used it. Because that's what I understand.
-Pandastacia