Disclaimer: Neither of the two authors who haven taken it upon themselves to write this infantile piece of literature are not in anyway the Master J. K. Rowling. Therefore we cannot in anyway profit from our crazed fan-girl-ness. So please do not sue because in the end all you shall receive is a rather large headache. However Mr. Sudsy is owned by FireWitch1, I advise you to not attempt to take him from her…things will get messy.

Author's Note: So…this is an odd story, no pun intended. Back in my internet RP-ing days my friends and I used to use our chat rooms for all sorts of imaginary shenanigans. What you are about to read is an example of one such occurrence and just to let it be known, neither I nor my friend (FireWitch1) were smoking anything at the time. Putting this into story form had always been an idea but we just never got around to it. However, I was recently challenged to a "who has the funnier fanfic" battle- and this is my weapon. So, ReadyFred-ReadyGeorge this one goes out to you, hope it lives up to your expectations, my friend. (Should the reader not know this author please head over to his page, there are some things well worth a read over there.) Now there is a fair amount of material left for more chapters, so if enough people like it I'll post more but to put it out there I have No Clue where this would go- it's just random as heck. Well that's about it, you've been warned.

It was either very late at night or very early in the morning that found Albus Dumbledore, winner of the First Order of Merlin, Head Master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, on a very important, very secret, mission. This mission was so important in fact that none of his own staff knew anything about it, not even that bossy Minerva. Should anyone have actually been up at this unfathomable crazed hour they would have beheld the highly visible wizard tip-toeing about the pitched black halls to which he was a high contrast in his magenta and starburst patterned pajamas.

After succeeding in his oh so classified mission he closed to the door from his destination, his task complete, a snicker spreading on his heavily lined face. "Mission accomplished."

It is to be noted, that just before the expedition aforementioned took place there was another such outing going on to the very same room of this rather large castle where in all good reason no two things such as this should ever have coincided. The identity of this new perpetraitor shall be revealed in time…least to say it would be wise to be afraid in preparation.

When at last the morning came to some semblance of a humanly hour to awaken what shall, very lightly, be called the plot did then commence.

Severus Snape woke up in the most interesting position flat on his stomach with something fuzzy and yellow blurring his vision.

Yellow...wait when did his room have yellow? He squeaked, not that he ever rally squeaked, he was a dignified potion's master and so sat up in bed and looked at the thing. What the hell is this?

The yellow thing seemed to study him carefully and then it spoke, a note hiding under it's yellow arse.

"I'm Mr. Sudsy, I'm here to make your life hell. Welcome to my rubbery pit of doom and squeaky clean-ness!" the strange yellow thing laughed but not quite laughed. It was more of an odd chirp and seemed to exude a sort of evil laugh at the same time. It more resembled the combined sounds of a rubber bath toy being of the avian kind stepped on by a early morning riser who had not yet had the morning cup of medicinal caffeine and had only just noticed someone had dipped their hand into a bowl of warm water sometime during the night.

Severus however mearly chalked this whole encounter up as a hallucination caused by the atrocious food he had been forced to consume at Bellatrix's dinner party the previous evening. Really the woman had no clue which end the spoon to stir with but she just had to show her highly disturbing affection for the Dark Lord by forcing everyone to celebrate his damn birthday by force feeding them a purple, glue like substance she proudly called "lasanga." And so he ignored the still monologing yellow thing now identifiable as a duck and went on with his morning routine…ignoring the bright pink and red glittered thing beneath his door and eventually made his way to breakfast.

"Good morning everyone! Is it not a glorious spring day?" Dumbledore spoke ungodly happily for a Monday morning to his sleep deprived staff and half dead students. "I hope you all had a pleasant night's sleep?"

Silence.

"I would remind you that today is April 1st, so please be mindful of pranks and be careful not to instigate the giant squid…he's still a bit sore about last year. " An unholy gleam gleamed from behind his funky moony glasses as he surveyed the unsuspecting masses.

The Potions Master strode into the Great Hall doors slamming back on their hinges his robes billowing behind him, ever one to savor a dramatic entrance. His mind however was the polar opposite of his trademark cool and calm exterior. He was hallucinating, there was no other reason for it, for there was no way that oddly adorable thing had been swimming in his tub with him as though it had feet somewhere in it's flat bottom. Still though he took his spot in his high back seat, sitting down with a flourish and stared at his place setting.

There in his porridge was the yellow thing.

He had locked it in his chambers, windows and all then replaced the wards and walked towards the hall. Yet there it sat, it's somehow overly large yet beady baby blue eyes staring up with a twinkle. Snape shook his head and grabbed his toast, it was all in his head. He took a sip of his tea and savored it on his tongue.

"I know you seeme."

He spat out his scalding hot beverage and was in response thunked on the back by Hagrid who was quickly waved off while, lest he also have to deal with a bruised spinal column later, he continued to choke. It Spoke again!

"I dare say, is there anything wrong, Severus? You look as though you've seen a ghost," Dumbledore asked as he smirked into his Earl Grey. "Are you sleeping enough, I must say to you that you're visibly more sallow then usual."

Snape glared down at his porridge and attempted to lift his tea cup with a shaking hand. "I'm quite fine Albus, just a little tickle in my throat." Then he hissed under his breath to the thing, no it, actually there was no insulting enough noun to describe the tiny monstrosity. "I cannot see you and I cannot hear you so go away." He sipped his tea and ignored it's mindless chatter as it made figure eights in his breakfast. Yet he completely missed- or perhaps chose to miss- the look that was given to him by McGonagall that clearly said the potions fumes had finally gone to his brain.

"I know you hear me human. Look, to prove it to you I shall sing," It cleared it's throat and began a rendition of 'I'm a Little Teapot'. "I'm a little ducky short and yellow, You know you hear me my old fellow, When you go all insane and into a straight jacket, no one will believe you that I'm inattimate."

Snape had picked the thing out of his porridge, proceeded to dunk it in a glass of water (as to remove the remains of his maple and brown sugar oatmeal) while it preceded to gurgle out a rendition of "Singing in the Rain." He then wrapped the thing in a napkin and stowed It safely and wholly tucked into a inner pocket in his robe. The thing was still speaking about "world something, or other." But he didn't care to listen because he refused, no could not hear what it was saying as he was now quite done with the whole affair and was making his way back to the dank and dreary homeliness of his classroom.

"I will get my revenge for this! I will take over the world one classroom at a time. I will have complete and secured world domination. I will be squeaky and yellow! You will rue the day you did not do all that Mr. Sudsy asked of you! And I will make you insane!" The thing now known as Mr. Sudsy laughed that evil laugh and was deposited on Snape's desk in plain view, presumably to be watched carefully if in fact it could be admitted that it could actually be seen.

"Quiet, you," the now twitching Potions master hissed.

"Victory is Mine!"