AN - I own nothing, if I did Eliot would never wear clothes!
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Thanks.
"Remind me what we're doing here again?" Eliot grumbled.
"I told you," Hardison replied, "there's a collector who is screwing people."
"And we care because?"
"Erm, we're the good guys now! We help people."
"I know, but come on dude," Eliot remarked as he looked around, "these guys must be used to getting screwed with."
"Just 'cause we're used to it doesn't make it alright Eliot!" Hardison said through gritted teeth, "now, just get your ass into character."
"Why aren't you doing this? No way can I pull this off."
"Boy, don't you listen to anything I say?"
"As a rule, I generally try not to."
"Eliot, come on focus," Hardison growled, "I can't do it 'cause people might recognise me."
"With the amount of geeks around here I'm sure you'd blend much more than I would!"
"Are you wearing the outfit I told you?"
"Do I have to?"
"Yes," Hardison said getting slightly annoyed at Eliot's constant critique, "did you slick your hair back?"
"Yes," he answered with a sigh, trying to calm the annoyance building within him, "but you so owe me for putting this crap in my hair!"
"Yeah yeah pretty boy loves his hair, stop being such a girl and just get on with it."
"Dammit Hardison! I am so going to kill you when this is over!"
"Oooh, touchy," Hardison laughed, "now just get on with it.
"Fine, but next time Parker is kicking your ass at that stupid game you two play, I so ain't helping you dude!" Eliot replied as he took a deep breath and pushed open the door into another world, the world of Comic Con.
"Oooh, Comic con, I'm home." Sheldon said quietly as he took in the familiar surroundings. Behind him Leonard, Raj and Howard exchanged a time honoured look during which they all silently agreed once more, that Sheldon was crazy.
"Who has the schedule?" Leonard asked, "where are we heading first?"
"Here," Howard answered, "I think we should head to the actor's gallery first, Katee Sackhoff is signing today."
"Oh who cares about her," Sheldon replied, "Battlestar Galactica is so over, the ending was crazy, Ron Moore must have lost his mind, no we'll forgo the actor's today, here," he said, handing each of them a laminated A4 timetable. "I've printed up an itinerary based on the best features at this years event, as you'll see, every minute of our time is accounted for. Now as you'll see..."
"Hold on a second Sheldon," Leonard interrupted, "what if we all want to see different things?"
"Why would you want to do that?" Sheldon replied, puzzled, "I've put together the best schedule possible, hitting all of the best attractions that comic con has to offer, there is nothing worthwhile to see that I haven't included."
"You scheduled food and toilet breaks?" Leonard asked, unable to keep the annoyance from his voice.
"Well, I would prefer not to have to eat or urinate but alas I haven't perfected my robot body yet so until I do those are essential stops."
"Well, you're idea of a good time might not be ours and since we missed Katee Sackhoff last year when you dragged us to the arctic, we wanna see her this year so we're going to the actor's area," Leonard said and turned to leave without waiting for an answer.
Sheldon looked on as his friends turned to leave.
"Fools," he muttered as he turned and headed to the comic book section.
"Remember Eliot you need to blend in," Hardison muttered into Eliot's earpiece, "so, try to look a little less scary."
"I'm not doing it on purpose," Eliot snapped back, "I can't help it if I'm a clear foot taller than all these nerds."
"Hey," Hardison almost yelled at him, "they're not nerds, they're geeks."
"Like there is any difference dude, they all got beat up in high school and probably never had a girlfriend."
"Geeks are cool, they are creative, artistic and passionate about the things they like, but they can be normal people as well, nerds are just crazy all the time."
"Dude, I really don't care," Eliot replied, "I'd probably have kicked all their asses in high school."
"Just blend in okay."
"We're meant to be having a break, why did I agree to help you?"
"'Cause you couldn't decide whether to go see Aimee or Kaye Lynne so decided to help me instead."
"I really hate you."
"I know, but shut up and focus, are you near Sklar yet?"
"I'm at the booth; he's showing off some old looking thing."
"Old... Old looking thing, are you serious?"
"What?"
"That's a one of a kind, mint condition ashcan edition of Flash Comics #1, that is worth about $1 Million!"
"Seriously? My nephew could draw better than that."
"Dude, you did not just say that."
"I love winding you up, it's so much fun."
"Seriously Eliot, just stick to the plan, this guy is a hack and we need to take him down."
"He looks a little like that hacker guy that gave you a run for your money last year."
"Okay, he didn't give me a run for my money; I let him think he did to gain the upper hand."
"Whatever you say," Eliot laughed as he listened to Hardison mutter indignantly, "will you just shut up, I'm going in."
"Don't screw this up Eliot."
"Excuse me Mr Sklar, my name is Sheldon Cooper, fellow collector, I just wanted to say what an impressive collection you have, even if you are missing some of the main pieces which should be the staple of every comic book collection."
Miles Sklar looked at the lanky geek in front of him and almost laughed. This guy was everything he loved and hated about geeks in one package, truly dedicated, but thought he knew best. He was truly going to have fun taking money from him. Convince him he was a great guy, a friend and offer to sell him a priceless piece from his collection, but instead offload one of the fakes he's 'collected' during the early days of his career. It was a perfect scheme, he was so renowned for checking the authenticity of his items, no-one would believe he'd own, let alone sell a fake.
"Well Mr Cooper, it is a pleasure to meet a fellow fan," he replied with a smile, "I admit there are a few small gaps in the collection, but it's not about having the best collection, I don't feel it's a competition, it's about the fun I get from these books.
"Well that's just stupid," Sheldon replied, "of course it should be a competition, everything is a competition."
"I guess we just have different views of the world." Sklar replied as he started to move away from the stranger.
Eliot watched the exchange with interest. According to Hardison Sklar was all about the competition, wanted to be the best and was not going to let anyone beat him, so either he's a great actor or Hardison was wrong.
"I wasn't finished with this conversation," Sheldon said, moving back towards Sklar, almost cornering him in order to continue berating his collection.
Eliot didn't miss the small smile of satisfaction that appeared on Sklar's face as he engaged the lanky geek, and Eliot could only admire how good an actor this guy was, he'd have made a good grifter if they weren't about to destroy his reputation.
"What's going on Eliot?" he heard Hardison's impatient voice in his ear.
"He's talking to some geek, think he's about to screw him."
"You need to stop it."
"I know, just shut it."
"Fine, but hurry up, I'm missing Katee Sackhoff."
"Dude you are such a geek!"
"and proud of it!" Hardison replied.
"Excuse me Mr Sklar," Eliot stuttered slightly as he interrupted the corporate suit and geek, "I just wanted to say how big a fan I am."
"Well you said it, now if you don't mind we were in the middle of a conversation," Sheldon answered.
"It's okay Mr Cooper," Sklar said with a smile to the stranger, "I'm always happy to meet fellow collectors."
"It's not okay, we were talking and it was rude to interrupt, now, as I was saying you once stated that the greatest comic artist of all time was..."
"I'm really sorry to interrupt, but I really need to speak with Mr Sklar, it's urgent," Eliot replied, giving the geek the most menacing look he could muster wearing the checked shirt and dorky glasses Hardison had provided.
"Well I do mind," Sheldon exclaimed, "You will need to wait your turn."
Eliot could hear Hardison laughing in his ear as the geek almost discarded him with a look.
Eliot reached into his bag, pulling out the comic, holding it almost protectively.
"Mr Sklar, I really need to speak with you," he said again, showing the suit the cover, sparking his interest.
"Excuse me Mr Cooper, I need to speak with this gentleman, can we meet up later?"
"Most certainly not, I have a schedule to keep and it is very rude to leave a conversation unfinished, I'm sure you're business with this vagabond can keep until we are finished." he replied with a scathing look at Eliot.
"It really can't," Sklar said and motioning to Eliot, walked away from Sheldon, into the private area behind his booth.
"That isn't real!" Sklar said as soon as they were alone.
"I think it is."
"Where did you get it? It was stolen or lost or something about thirty years ago."
"My father was the one who got me into comics," Eliot answered, putting as much grief in his voice as possible, "he passed away recently and left me his collection. I found this hidden in the back. I went to a private dealer who authenticated it," Eliot finished producing the certificate of authentication Hardison had created just for the occasion.
"DC Action Comics #1, the first appearance of Superman. It can't be real, it's worth a fortune." Sklar exclaimed.
"Well, that's the thing Mr Sklar, I'm struggling to pay my father's medical bills, I really need the money, as much as I don't want to part with it, I thought you might want to buy it and keep it safe?"
"I would need it independently verified."
"Sure, no problem, but it doesn't leave my sight until you've paid for it."
"$500,000?"
"It's worth more than that, the dealer said about $1.5 million."
"Maybe at auction, but that would take time and you'd need a bidding war, no I think $500,000 is a fair price for this."
"Please Mr Sklar, that will barely cover my bills, I'm about to lose my house, I've lost my job, I really need it's full value."
"I'm sorry, if you want a quick sale $500,000 is more than a fair offer and I can have cash for you this afternoon if it proves to be real." He watched as Eliot pondered his offer, noting the desperation in the man's eyes. "If you are not happy take it away, see if anyone else will give you more that quickly? But I am the biggest collector around, with the most cash resources; you won't get a better offer."
Eliot pretended to hesitate before finally agreeing.
"Wait here Mr Spencer, I'll just get my expert to authenticate it and bring the cash, he shouldn't be long."
"No problem."
Less than thirty minutes later the comic was authenticated and the money changed hands.
Shortly thereafter, following a twitter announcement, the only surviving copy of a long lost comic book was on display. Sheldon Cooper, along with friends Leonard, Howard and Raj were there to witness it.
"Ladies and gentlemen," Sklar started, "it is my great pleasure to announce that I have added to the world's biggest and most complete comic collection with one of the greatest pieces ever produced, the first appearance of superman in DC Action Comics #1."
"Wow," Leonard said wishfully as the crowd cheered around them, "I can't believe Sklar has that, it's amazing!"
Carefully sealed in its protective casing, it was placed on display, under guard, for the fellow geeks to view in wonder and amazement, Sklar looking on, a smile on his face as he was acknowledged as the greatest collector of all time.
"Oh please, like that is actually real!" Sheldon mocked when he finally got through the crowd to see it up close.
"Excuse me Mr Cooper," Sklar interrupted, "this was authenticated by two of the country's leading experts as well as myself, I can assure you it is real."
"No, it's not." Sheldon replied matter of factly.
"Why do you say that."
"Look here," Sheldon said, pointing to the man at the front of the cover, "was Joe Shuster a visionary or could he see the future?"
"I'm sorry Mr Cooper, I don't know what you are seeing," Sklar exclaimed, trying to remove the comic, but Sheldon grabbed hold before he had the chance.
"Look, right here, in the guy's pocket, which I'm fairly sure wasn't in the original drawing either, a little black thing that looks not only like a phone but has the apple symbol on it, did the illustrater see the future and draw the world's first iphone or is this a fake?"
Everyone was crowded around Sheldon, straining to see the tiny apple symbol, barely visible to the naked eye, but sure enough, there it was.
"No, it can't be." Sklar almost yelled in frustration, searching the crowd for the mysterious seller, finally his eyes found the bulky man standing next to a more familiar face, someone he'd sold a fake to.
Hardison smiled at Sklar as several people appeared around him,
"Hold on," one of them said, "he sold me an original comic with the first appearance of the punisher, how do I know you didn't sell me a fake?"
"He sold me the same thing," someone else piped up.
Sklar looked around, then made a hasty dash for the door.
"Take that Mr Sklar," Hardison said, "you should know better than to mess with the real geeks."
"How did that guy spot the phone?" Eliot asked.
"Who knows," Hardison replied, catching Sheldon's eye, a small smile shared between two old friends went unnoticed by all around them, "now, where is Katee Sackhoff, I need to get me some starbuck."