Another Junjou fic...KYAAAAAAHHHH EGOIST! YAY! XD
*ahem* sorries... just another fanfic with HirokiXNowak from Junjou Romantica. Enjoy!
PS. BEST. SHOW. EVER!
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Hiroki's only company when he got home that night from a long day at the University, were the gentle chirps of crickets outside in the early summer twilight, as well as the occassional car speeding swiftly past their apartment. That dumbass Nowaki hadn't come back yet. Hiroki sighed deeply, taking off his hat and light jacket, and tossing them carelessly on the couch.
"Baka Nowaki...you could have told me this morning if you were coming home late...or called me at work..." Stupid Nowaki, he was always like that, all happy and smiles, (and on occasion an annoying pervert...) but at heart he was a total scatterbrain, and had a tendency those days of being careless about certain things, which never failed to test Hiroki's last nerve.
"Working late again...hes been busy these days..." Hiroki thought, then he suddenly noticed with a start the uncleared breakfast dishes still left on the kitchen table...Nowaki had made breakfast that morning, but he was in such a hurry he apparently didn't feel obliged to clean up.
"Guess I better do it now..." Hiroki mumbled, slightly annoyed as he carried the small pile of dishes and silverware to the kitchen sink, turned on the faucet, and began heading slowly back to retrieve the juice glasses. Lost in his thoughts, he wasn't paying enough attention and his grip suddenly loosened on on of those glasses and it shattered with sharp pangs of sound on the hard tile floor.
"Dammit!" Hiroki shouted, swiftly knocked out of his thoughts. From above, he could see the pale light of the moon sifting threw the slats in the shades, and gently illuminating the individual fragments of glass at this feet. Oddly, it was rather pretty sight, but as Hiroki bent down, cursing softly under his breath in frustration to pick up the broken glass, he cried out in a sudden, sharp burst of pain and jumped back, staring at his hand.
In his haste to clear up the mess, he had picked up one of the glass shards from the wrong end and badly cut his finger. The chill air of the kitchen stung the cut as blood oozed out and ran down the length of his finger. The sharp stinging pain elapsed into a pulsing rythmn of pain. Grimacing, Hiroki stood up on shaky legs and stumbled forward, trying to find a tissue to press on his hand to stop the blood flow.
"God, that hurt..."Hiroki grumbled, annoyed once more at this inconvienience, as he pressed a soft white cloth to his hand. "If Nowaki had cleared those damn dishes, this might not have happened...and now I'm out one good breakfast glass now! Damn!"
After clearing away the glass with a dustpan and brush, and cleaning the rest of the dishes, Hiroki showered, undressed and buried himself underneath cool, welcoming linen sheets, with one more deep sigh. The pain in his finger had numbed and stiffened, and once more he closed his eyes, and let himself think. He liked to do that when he was alone.
It was late. How late he wasn't sure, but the sun had long past settled beneath the city, disappearing only to be replaced by the moon, which hung, an incandescent orb amongst the silver pinpricks of stars. The familiar night scenery hung outside his bedroom window, and Hiroki could;nt help but let his thoughts once more return to Nowaki.
The glowing red neon of Hiroki's alarm clock red 12:30. Hiroki's eyes narrowed. Where the hell was Nowaki? He never stayed out this late, even when he worked overtime...who the hell did those assholes think they were, keeping Nowaki away for so long?
Once he'd voiced this thought inside his mind, Hiroki stiffened. "What the hell...what was that alll about..." He sighed once more. "I think I really am losing it." Despite this explanation, Hiroki could'nt deny what he felt. For some reason he now longed to see Nowaki, even more than usual when he was away.
"I wonder...wha hes doing right now...maybe thinking about me...right now..." Hiroki wondered...but then stopped himself. "Wh-why the hell am I thinking about THAT?"
Hiroki leaned forward in bed, was still, not even blinking. Then, he leaned his head forward to rest in his large calloused hands.
"I think I'm becoming...somewhat of a romantic..."
Trying to deviate his attention from Nowaki, he focused on sucking on his finger, which still oozed a small trickle of blood. The blood tasted salty and warm, and as he turned on his side towards his bedside lamp, he let the calm silence of the night fill him up.
Nowaki was probably working hard, as he rested in bed, working with the sick children over at the local hospital, and slowly working towards a degree in medicine, and a job as a full-time peditrician...he'd come such a long way since they'd first met six years ago, years that had past in a long string of emotions. Happiness, passion, lust, frustration, anger, sadness, and love. Yes love. Perhaps love most of all. Love that filled him up, tore him apart, and left any resistance useless. Tears had been shed. He'd been half torn apart by emotions...but in the end, it all stemmed from love.
And Hiroki knew, more than anything, that one of the reasons Nowaki had come so far, was because of him. He was Nowaki's constant source of stamina; the thing that always kept him driving forward, in an everpresent effort to becoming "equal" He always tried so hard, and he always felt he wasn't good enough...
"Not that he ever asked my opinion on the matter..."Hiroki grumbled to himself, letting these thoughts sink in more than he'd intended. "He just assumes he's not good enough for me...hes so invested in himself...sometimes I wonder if its got anything to do with me at all.
"Maybe he's just an Egoist.
One thing thought, for sure, "He added, his voice softening as he spoke. "He truly is an idiot. Nothing he does will ever be good enough for him. If he jumped off a bridge to save my life he'd probably still think it wasn;t good enough...
"But then again," Hiroki muttered, staring at his bedside lamp and letting the light sink into his corneas. "I guess I'm not too much of a comfort to him." The self guilt hidden in this statement sunk into Hiroki, as he reflected on the way he would yell and scream at Nowaki half the time, whenever he did something wrong, and often on the days they barely had time to speak to each other at all. An odd twinge resonated in his stomach as he thought this, and he sunk deeper into his bed. Then, a sudden thought tugged at his mind: when was the last time he'd told Nowaki he loved him?
...
End of first chapter