Hey there!
This is my first story, so take it easy on the criticism, but please do criticize. It helps! My chapters are short, but there are often a lot of them. This isn't my first time writing, but it is my first time publishing. I don't like long introductions, so now without further ado, the beginning.
Chapter 1
{Ray's POV}
Before the sun set, I decided to go for a run with Ferox. Just for fun, I decided to let Ferox keep time on his stopwatch. I looked at my chao, and then at the pillars of the Orange Mountain Zone.
"The usual track?" I asked, and Ferox nodded his little head. I handed him his little stopwatch and checkered flag. "Ready Ferox?" I said as I stretched and got in the starting position.
"Chao chao!" Ferox cried as he waved the little flag and started the timer.
I was off, my red quills flying. I jumped off the cliff's edge and landed on the nearest pillar. Then the next one. And the next. And the next.
After I had crossed the chasm and pillars, next was the rock climb. I stopped at the cliff face and climbed up onto the first hunk of rock jutting out from the cliff. Jump jump jump! I was at the top of the cliff before you knew it.
Last but not least, the quarter-mile dash…up the side of a mountain. Dodging trees and rocks, animals and ponds, I dashed up the mountain. I nabbed the pink flag made of an old t-shirt we put at the top of the mountain earlier and began the dash down.
I came to a stop mere inches from Ferox. He pushed the button on the stopwatch and showed me the time.
"Three and a half seconds?" I yelled. "I did it in half of that yesterday…. I'm getting rusty."
Ferox laughed his little chao laugh. He pointed to the top of the mountain, then to the flag, and then back at the mountain.
"Oh, yeah, I gotta put the flag back at the top." The sun was beginning to set, and going up the mountain was dangerous at night. "Be right back."
But Ferox was already distracted. Caroline and her chao Deedee had arrived after their daily hike up the mountain. Ferox was flirting with Deedee. Again. But I was more interested in Caroline. Her cyan quills brushed perfectly. Her stylish pink dress and boots. (It would be best if I cut off her description here.)
I ran off before Caroline noticed me. I always get tongue-tied around her. I like her. A lot. But I'm just so nervous when I'm near her. I took my time going up the mountain. After three minutes I decided that it was boring. I kicked it into high gear and ran up the mountain and planted the flag.
"Wow." I said, checking the bars on my cell phone. "Great cell reception up here."
From my position at the top of the mountain, I could see Caroline walking back to the city.
"Phew." I breathed. Then I ran down the mountain to meet up with Ferox.
But instead of love struck as he normally was after an encounter with Deedee, Ferox was yelling his little heart out for me. At least, I think he was. After all, he can only say 'chao chao'.
I ran down to see him. As I ran, I noticed he was holding a… piece of paper? Closer. An envelope. Closer. A pink envelope with cursive writing on it?
Before I ran into him, I came to a screeching halt. Ferox kept on waving his arms even after I took the letter from him, but now they were shaking to a beat.
"Why are you dancing, bud?" I asked as I opened the pink envelope.
"CHAO CHAO CHAO CHAO CHAO CHAO CHAO CHAO!" Ferox screamed, still dancing to a silent beat.
"Alright, alright I'm reading the letter already." I said. "Jeez!" Then as I read the letter, I realized what the big deal was about.
Dear Ray,
Meet me at the big oak tree in the park at eight tomorrow.
Caroline and Deedee
At the bottom was her cell phone number and the words 'Call me'. My jaw dropped. My legs turned to jelly. "Did Caroline just ask me out on a date?"
"Chao." Ferox replied.
"Tomorrow?"
"Chao."
"At eight?"
"Chao chao."
"And give me her phone number?"
"Chao."
"YAHOOOOOOOOOO!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I immediately pulled out my cell phone and dialed up Damien.
"Hello?"
"Damien! It's Ray! You aren't going to believe this!"
"I already don't." the sarcastic grey echidna remarked.
"Enough with the funny business, Damien!" I said, getting angry at his sarcasm. "Now listen up, 'cuz I'm only gonna say this once!"
"Say what once?"
But it was too late. I was off explaining how I got the letter, what it said, and for him to meet me back at the apartment ASAP and help me get ready.
"What? Okay, first of all, you need to pick me up from boxing class since I can't drive anymore…." Damien began, but I cut him off.
"Why can't you drive? Did you get your license revoked again?"
"Permanently, this time. It's a long story involving alcohol, marshmallows and a license plate shoved inside a pink handbag. Second of all, who's gonna watch Spike?"
"He's thirteen for Pete's sake! He can take care of himself!" I yelled into the phone.
"Remember Fourth of July?"
"Oh yeah. You watch him." I replied.
"Okay, uh, what about, uh, hmm…. That's all I got." Damien said. "Good luck."
"Wait! No! I still need you to…" But I was talking to no one. "He hung up on me!" I yelled.
Ferox looked at me, smiled at me, then jumped into my quills and started singing his little song. Once Ferox is in my quills, he doesn't leave until he finishes his happy song. And he wasn't gonna stop anytime soon.
"I can't stay mad after seeing you sing your little song." I started walking home to the city. "Come on Ferox." I said. "We've got a big day tomorrow."
ZZZZZ
It's going to heat up after this chapter, I promise!