Hi~ This is the long overdue one shot for Sakily, my 700th reviewer.
Prompt: RussiaxLatvia, something involving hurt/comfort or horror.
I decided to go for hurt/comfort and focused mainly on comfort. I'm not big on this pairing but it seems every time I see something for them it's 'TORTURE/RAPE' and that just makes me sad. The fact that she asked for RussiaxLatvia was just peachy for me because that's actually the country I did a focused paper on in my Holocaust class. So, expect a huge list of historical notes at the end. -laughs-
Please note: No sex (sorry if you're disappointed but I feel very uncomfortable writing sex between these two).
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or its characters.
Latvia holds himself, whole body shivering violently. It's cold and he feels ragged. It seems like he will never have the energy or the will to smile again.
The door creaks open and he winces, not daring to look up. The sound of heavy boots walking across the floor makes his heart pound. Dizzy, terrified, alone.
Dievs.... Palīdzība... lūdzu!
The boots stop right behind him and he hugs himself tighter, tears sliding down his cheeks. He mouths silent pleas for the one behind him to go away.
"My dear Latvia. I have missed you so very much. Won't you look at me?"
Latvia shakes his head, holding back his whimpers.
"Tch, you will not look at me even though I am saving you? That is not nice Latvia. Not nice at all."
A hand clamps down on his hair, tugging his head back. Latvia cries out in pain, his eyes opening. Russia smiles down at him looking slightly crazed. "That's better. I have missed you, did I say that already? It has been too long. Talk to me, won't you please? Aren't you happy that I am liberating you from Germany?"
More tears slide down Latvia's cheeks. "Germany...Russia...It's all the same."
Russia's smile twitches and he tightens his grip. Latvia lets out a pathetic whimper. "How cruel. Was I so bad?"
Latvia keeps his lips firmly shut. 1941 had been horrific for him, his people. Germany and Russia... which is worse? He can't even tell.
Russia roughly shoves him sprawling to the ground. "Did you know he was going to destroy you? His boss thought of you and your brothers as extinct countries in the making. You were simply space waiting to be cleared for his beloved master race. I would never let that happen to you. Not ever. I love my Baltics so much."
Latvia pulls himself back into a sitting position, eyes somewhat blank. Russia watches him a moment then crouches down. "My poor Latvia. It is very hard to be an independent country, isn't it? I tried to protect you from it. Perhaps now you understand better the problems I have faced. All those impossible decisions, trying so very hard to keep it together..."
Latvia feels a mixture of intense anger and shame. He hates that Russia makes him feel this way when he had tried so hard. How could he have stood a chance as an independent country with Germany and Russia constantly playing tug-of-war with him? And caught between the Depression and the second World War? And as much as he loves Lithuania and Estonia, none of them had made a particularly good effort to band together.
Russia reaches over and Latvia winces. This time, however, Russia pets his hair. "Are you tired now? It is time to come home."
Latvia lets out a sob. "I don't... I don't want to have to go with you."
"...And just who do you think will take care of you if not me? None of the other countries want to help you. England and France would not even help protect you from Germany. Do not be so spoiled."
All of the strength is gone from Latvia's body. The strength to speak, to resist. What is the point? The world is a hateful place with no room for those too weak to protect themselves.
Russia tilts his face up. "Your brother Lithuania is waiting for you and soon I will get Estonia back as well. You will not be alone. All of us together again, aren't you happy?"
"Nē...No I'm not happy. Everything hurts... It hurts!" Latvia starts to cry again.
"I suppose it does. After all, you have been through so many horrible things. Put yourself through so many horrible things..."
Latvia puts his hands over his ears, shaking his head. "Don't...Please don't."
Russia continues on ruthlessly. "You buckled beneath Germany so easily. You were oh so grateful he 'saved' you from me. Lovely how he has paid you back is it not? The concentration camps, death fields, the Einsatzgruppen, a self-cleansing program... You must have been desperate to go along with them. Arajs Kommando was really quite something, Latvia."
Latvia gags and rapidly turns away towards a corner to vomit. He violently heaves a few times, shakily turning back and wiping his mouth once his body stops. "Th-they weren't all...That was just some of them! I just..."
"You just let so many things happen. You cannot stand up for yourself at all, can you? Do not worry, suffering is inevitable. I have seen many horrors myself... I do not judge you for it. And really, Lithuania was much worse. How very desperate he was to become independent from me...Amazing what levels he stooped to and in the end it was for nothing." He giggles and the sound sends cold shivers down Latvia's spine.
"Come home with me now Latvia. I will force Germany to leave. You do not have to do anything anymore. Just be mine."
As if he has a choice. Latvia lowers his head submissively. If he resists Russia will simply take him by force. Russia's smile widens. "That's a good boy."
Russia gathers Latvia into his arms, cradling the small nation close to his chest. He kisses the top of his head and murmurs something in Russian that Latvia does not quite catch. Nor does he care. Latvia leans against him and closes his eyes as Russia carries him away. He feels gritty and exhausted and, while he feels deep bitterness that he is losing his independence, a small part of him is relieved that someone is taking away all the hard decisions. It fills him with a pseudo-comfort that will not last but which eases his tired aching mind for the time being.
~.
As World War II rages through Europe and Asia, Latvia remains sheltered in Russia's home. It is not, he finds, as safe as he had imagined. Despite Russia's air of confidence and the fact that the Russian's are helping push Germany back, his house is ill at ease. Things are not going well in some ways. Many ways. The people are starving and the death tolls are staggering. There is no hiding from the horrors of war.
He does have Lithuania as a companion, but his brother is very quiet and solemn. Latvia wonders if his eyes look as haunted as Lithuania's. It's not long before Estonia also returns, looking rather worn for wear. Still, having the three of them together again is a comfort in itself for Latvia. And Estonia is better at handling Lithuania.
Latvia never knows what to say.
~.
A sob wakes Latvia up. It takes him a moment to realize it was his own. He sits up in bed and wipes his eyes. Sniffling, he reaches down and touches his pillow. It's damp. With a sigh he slides out of bed, shivering as his bare feet touch the cold ground. He decides to walk around for a while. Trying to sleep now will just result in his dwelling upon nightmarish memories.
The house is eerily silent and dark. Occasionally he walks by a room that is splashed with moonlight but finds himself avoiding these. He feels like being in the dark. He doesn't want to see anything. Not anything...
Wandering without destination, Latvia thoughtlessly walks through the massive estate lacking rhyme or reason. Having someone to talk to would be nice but he doesn't want to disturb Estonia and especially not Lithuania. It's lonely here, too. It seems it is lonely no matter where he goes.
Latvia feels tears well up at the thought and tries to hold them back. The whole reason he started walking is to distract himself from unpleasant thoughts. He can't dwell on such things. Not if he wants to sleep.
Turning a corner he suddenly sees a light. It takes him utterly by surprise. He can't imagine why it could be on, not even taking into account where he is in the house. He walks towards it like a moth to a flame, opening the door a crack.
He freezes as he realizes he is looking into Russia's room. Russia sits on the bed, turned away from the door. Latvia knows he should quickly retreat before he is noticed but he can't help but stare. Russia is shirtless, revealing fresh wounds down his back. Even he is suffering...
Russia turns, violet eyes sharply examining him. "...Latvia. Come in."
Latvia clutches the door, wondering if he can get away. "Uh..."
"I said come in." The voice leaves no room for defiance.
"Y-yes..." Latvia timidly walks in and stands at the edge of the bed, looking down.
Russia pats the spot next to him. "Sit."
Swallowing hard, Latvia obeys him.
"What are you doing up at this hour?"
Latvia glances over and notices for the first time the bottle of vodka Russia holds. "I, um, I couldn't sleep... Can I have some of that?"
He points nervously at Russia's vodka. Russia raises an eyebrow and lifts it. "You want some?"
Latvia nods, not trusting his voice.
Russia giggles softly and hands it over. "You drink?"
Latvia takes it somberly. "I've taken it up. On a good day I can drink forty cups." He takes a swig, coughing at the burn. He licks the side of his mouth and hands back the bottle. "...Thank you."
Russia pets his hair fondly. "Why are you having trouble sleeping?"
Latvia runs a finger over his pajama pants, chewing hesitantly on his lower lip. He finally murmurs, "I-it's just really hard... y-you know...right now. Just everything."
Russia roles the bottle in his hands and takes a drink, polishing it off. He frowns at it and places the now empty bottle on the floor. "...Da. It has been harder to sleep these days. I do not think I can continue with the war. I am at my limit...Too much death. People are deserting. I have to focus on myself. Germany is all but defeated and I have retrieved my precious Baltics. I will have to extract myself from the war soon."
Latvia looks up at him. It seems odd that such an intimidating, large country like Russia would be weakened. But being a representative of a country meant suffering in ways normal humans could never even imagine.
Russia looks down at him, tilting his head. He touches Latvia's lips. Latvia flushes and starts to move back but Russia places a firm hand on his back, keeping him close. He leans in and licks Latvia's lips. "Mm, I can still taste the vodka."
Latvia feels himself begin to tremble. "I...I think I sh-should be getting back n-now."
"There is never enough vodka anymore. Not enough to drown the pain. I was so lonely without the three of you. Please do not leave me again."
Latvia's teeth clench and his breath becomes short. While he might feel some pity for Russia he cannot forget the pain suffered at his hands. The pain that will probably continue now that he is trapped in his clutches once more. "Please...I want to go to my r-room now."
Russia easily lifts Latvia, pulling him close so that he is straddling his lap. "Stay with me instead."
Latvia places his hands on Russia's shoulders. His skin is cold. It's always cold. "R-Russia please..."
Ignoring the Baltic's pleas, Russia removes Latvia's pajama top, running his hands up the smooth skin of his chest.
"N-no!" Latvia squirms in Russia's grasp.
"Shh," he hisses softly before kissing the reluctant nation. Russia's tongue traces along Latvia's lips again before forcing its way into his mouth.
Latvia trembles, terrified and unsure what to do. He closes his eyes tightly. He doesn't want this. Not at all!
Russia runs a hand up along Latvia's spine, pauses to knead the back of his neck, then lets it come to rest buried in short blond locks. His other hand continues to snake up and down Latvia's frail torso.
Latvia shivers at the contact, tears forming in his eyes. Something wet hits his cheek. For a befuddled moment he thinks it is simply one of his own tears and then a second one falls. Latvia's eyes flutter open as Russia pulls away, tears shimmering on his face in the dim light. Surprised, Latvia freezes and stares at him. "R-Russia...?"
Russia sniffles quietly. "I can not seem to taste the vodka anymore."
Without warning he buries his face in the crook of Latvia's neck, shoulders shaking. Latvia remains very still, not sure what to do at this unexpected display of vulnerability. After a long, awkward pause he brings a hand up and rests it hesitantly on his back. Russia nuzzles against his neck in response, the hand at the back of his head clutching at Latvia's hair. Latvia winces until the fingers loosen their hold.
An uncertain amount of time passes in this bizarre silence until finally Russia pulls back. Running a palm across each of his eyes, he looks at Latvia. "Stay with me tonight."
Much to his surprise, despite the commanding nature of the words, Latvia realizes that if he were to leave Russia probably wouldn't stop him. It's just something about the expression on his face, the weakness of his grip. It's a request disguised as an order.
The word 'no' rests heavily on his tongue. He savors its sweetness, its power, then swallows it. He will save it for another time. "...Es gribu."
Russia kisses his forehead, the moment lingering bittersweetly. He brings Latvia further onto the bed, pulling back the covers then engulfing Latvia beneath their warmth. Cradling the small body, Russia lets out a content sigh. "Спокойной ночи, Латвии."
"Ar labu nakti, Krievija." The words are barely a whisper.
Russia is soon breathing evenly. Latvia lies stiffly in his grasp. Is he foolish for giving in so easily to his tormentor simply because he felt sorry for him? Sometimes, he supposes, they all need some form of comfort. Russia has very few people in his life to fill this role. Except for his sister and perhaps, his 'precious' Baltics.
Latvia closes his eyes and tries to match his breathing with the larger man's. He can't keep it up for long. After a moment he shifts his position, resting his ear against Russia's chest. Listening to the sound of Russia's heart, Latvia finds himself growing sleepy.
For a while he presses everything away. The atrocities committed by Germany, by Russia, by his own people. He packs them into a drawer in his mind. They will not stay there for long. No, they will haunt him for a long time to come. But for now, in this moment, he thinks only of being warm, of the faint scent of vodka, and the beating of a heart that is not his own.
Un rīt ir jauna diena...And tomorrow is a new day.
Translations:
Dievs.... Palīdzība... lūdzu!-God...Help...please!
Nē-No
Es gribu-I will/I want to.
Спокойной ночи, Латвии.-Goodnight, Latvia
Ar labu nakti, Krievija.-Goodnight, Russia.
Historical notes:
1941, the Year of Terror-For one year Russia briefly took control of Latvia before Germany claimed it for the next few years. Latvia had little choice but to let them in to 'protect' them. However, many Latvians died during this period of time and the Russians were, quite frankly, not much better than the Germans.
Extinct countries in the making-Though the Baltic countries didn't know it at the time, Hitler wanted to take over their land, liquefy them as countries and move Germans in. It was part of his extension plan for his master race.
Latvia as an independent country (take 1)- In 1918 Latvia declared itself an independent country, working hard to achieve the motto 'Latvia for Latvians.' With the approach of the second World War, however, things became increasingly murky. As Latvia watched Lithuania and Estonia face intense pressure from Germany and Russia, they did their best to remain as neutral as possible. The three Baltics did a poor job of uniting during this period of time to help protect each other. Sadly it was just a bad time to try and be independent, they really were pulled around like a toy with very little power.
England and France-Russia, concerned about Germany's increasing interest in the Baltic States, asked France and England if they would intervene if Germany were to invade them. Both countries refused to help.
Recapturing the Baltics-I know that Lithuania was taken over by Russia again around July of 1944. However, both Latvia and Estonia were 'liberated' around the fall so I couldn't tell which actually happened first. I tried to figure it out but if I got the two mixed up my apologies.
The concentration camps, death fields, the Einsatzgruppen-Standard things put in place by the Nazis into most countries they took over. (Einsatzgruppen were the SS squads. Latvia had 4, Einsatzgruppen A being the worst)
Self-cleansing program-Latvia was one of the few countries that Germany pushed hard to take the initiative to get rid of their own 'Jewish problem'. They wanted to have to do as little as possible themselves. Lithuania and Ukraine were other such countries. Most Latvians were extremely reluctant to participate in such affairs but there were those who did so enthusiastically. In the end the Baltic Countries (almost exclusively Lithuania and Latvia as Estonia had very few to begin with) lost 90% of their Jewish population.
Arājs Kommando-A Latvian Auxiliary Police squad led by Viktors Arājs. They pretty much existed solely to kill Jews in horrific ways, often getting drunk as they did so, then having parties afterwards. They were truly disgusting and they were all volunteers. This was an extremest group. As I said before, most Latvians might not have been crazy about their Jewish population but overall did not have intense antisemitic feelings.
Lithuania was worse-Lithuania hoped to please Germany and gain recognition and favor as an independent country. They were desperate to break away in any way from Russia. Thus they were a bit more willing to participate in such things as the self-cleansing programs than the other countries. However, they were bitterly disappointed when they found Germany had no intention of recognizing them or even of being much better than Russia.
AN: It is apparently canon that Latvia drinks a lot. Which I found almost as amusing as the fact that he's also apparently very into reading romance novels and poetry.