Hello everyone! It's been so long since I've posted anything but I'm ready to try and get back into writing now. We'll see how long I can keep it up while continuing to endure a demanding full time job. Many thanks to everyone that's continued to read and provide encouragement along the way. I enjoy feedback if you're inclined to let me know what you think but it's okay if you're just happy reading too.

This is the sequel to Sapphire and Sunshine. You don't have to read that one first, it's completely up to you. But there are a lot of references to the first story in this one and this one will probably make more sense if you do.

This story contains male x male relationships and intimacy. If that doesn't interest you, please find something else to do with your time. And if you're actually looking for a lot of lemons or smut, you might not be as interested either. It's in here but I find myself more interested in the relationship itself than focusing on sex.

Cinnamon and Sand- 1

My name is Naruto Uzumaki and I am going to be Hokage. Most people used to laugh when they heard me say that. It seemed so ridiculous to them. I'd been nothing but a reminder of what Kyuubi had done to the village and I think they were afraid that I'd do the same thing if I ever got angry enough. Mostly they considered me a nuisance and I was just barely tolerated so I spent most of my life alone. I got a little desperate for attention and bad attention was better than none at all. I think I knew that even when I was little, at least on some level. But I wanted someone to acknowledge that I was there, that I was worth something. At the very least, I wanted to know that I was allowed to exist. But nobody ever told me what I wanted or needed to hear so I had to believe in myself because nobody else would.

It took years for anything to really change. But now the village was finally starting to believe in me in ways they never had before. Of course, most of them still didn't really take me completely seriously, but I couldn't really blame them. What had started out as a desperate attempt to get attention had turned into an honest love of pranks and humor in general. The world was way too serious most of the time. The only drawback to my behavior is that people tend to think I'm an idiot. My grades hadn't been all that great and my attention wandered too easily. But that was because long, boring explanations about techniques and chakra theory usually put me to sleep. That didn't mean I was stupid.

Of course, that was really hard to prove when Tsunade wouldn't give me any damned missions. Or at least not any good ones. It was all D and C rank stuff that I used to handle when I was still a kid. Half of the time I didn't even get to leave the village which was ridiculous. How was I supposed to learn when I never got a chance to do anything? When I went to Tsunade's office the other day to complain, she yelled and tried to kick me out. I think she was about to literally kick me out the window and I was preparing myself to make it really hard for her. But Kakashi Sensei came in and snagged the back of my jacket so he could drag me out the door before she got the chance.

He and Tsunade kept giving me stupid reasons why they weren't letting me go anywhere or do anything. I wasn't an invalid and I didn't need to be babied. Ever since I'd come home from Suna, everybody was treating me like I was fragile and I hated it. Right now Kakashi was off doing something with Yamato Taichou, Sakura was training at the hospital, and Sai was doing. . .something. It seemed like everybody was on a mission. So I was left alone. As usual. I usually spent the time training because it was better than sitting around doing nothing. Doing nothing led to thinking and thinking led to thoughts I didn't really want to think about. So I tried to keep myself busy as much as possible.

Training by myself hadn't been so bad at first but it was getting harder and harder to keep going on my own. Shadow clones were only so useful. Sparring was always so much better with an opponent that wasn't yourself but everybody was busy with missions. I dodged as one of my clones leapt in my direction and tried to land a hit. The move was easy to read and it was simple to shift out of the way. I knew all my own moves so I just ended up fighting myself to a standstill. I wasn't allowed to work on any jutsu that was actually a challenge by myself because Kyuubi might come out. Yamato Taichou needed to be there to keep that from happening. It irritated me but it really was too risky and I knew better than to work on that kind of stuff on my own. Like I said, I'm not stupid. But that didn't make it any less frustrating.

With a growl of aggravation, I kicked the clone in front of me, making it disappear in a small puff of smoke. I was done with this. Raising my hands, I released the Jutsu to get rid of the other twenty duplicates I'd created. The transition made me twitch a little but I shook it off and tried to figure out what to do next. The sun was high now and it was starting to get warm so I unzipped my jacket to cool off a little. As I tugged the fabric open, my fingers brushed against one of the necklaces I wore and I let out a long sigh.

I missed Gaara so much.

It had been almost four months since I'd seen him. Just when we started to figure out how we really felt about each other, I had to leave Suna and go home. But not before Gaara had given me a pendant made of a special chakra stone that was attuned to him. If he raised his chakra, it glowed and I could feel his touch. Closing my fingers around the smooth, round stone, I sighed again. Gaara wore one just like it that was attuned to me. Unfortunately, the distance from here to Suna was a little too far away for them to work. When we'd tested the range on my trip home, I stopped getting a response about the time I'd crossed over into Fire Country. It was a little disappointing that we couldn't reach out unless we were close but the necklace still meant a lot to me.

I really wished I could see him. Just for a little bit. He was the only person in my life who'd ever actually. . .wanted me. But we hadn't really had a chance to figure out what to do about it yet. We both had responsibilities that kept us away from each other most of the time. It wasn't fair. Even though I knew he wouldn't be able to feel it, I reached out and raised my chakra. The stone in my hand started to get warm and I nearly jumped. I felt my eyes widen as I tried to calm down. It had to be my imagination. Gaara was in Suna. It was way too far away for the stone to work, but the red glow bathed me in the warmth of his chakra and made my breath catch.

"No way," I breathed quietly, trying to keep the hope welling up my chest from overwhelming me. "Is he coming to Konoha?"

"Actually, I arrived late this morning."

I whirled around to see Gaara standing in the shade of a nearby tree. My heart sped up a little. Part of me was afraid that he was just an illusion, that he'd disappear the moment I touched him. But the rest of me wasn't listening as I immediately ran over and jumped on him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist, and showered his face with kisses. He seemed a little startled at first but he didn't move away. Instead, he locked his arms around my back as I kissed his lips really hard.

"I missed you so much," I murmured breathlessly when I finally let him up for air. I couldn't believe he was actually here in Konoha. There was a warmth building up inside me just from being this close to him. But there was something nagging at the back of my mind that seemed to be missing. I pulled back a little and blinked a few times when I realized what it was. I'd just thrown myself bodily at Gaara and met no resistance at all. Ordinarily, his sand would rise up to immediately to block any incoming attacks. But his gourd was propped up against the tree and there was no sand in sight.

"Is something wrong?" he asked me as he tilted his head curiously.

"Uh, no. Just. . .no sand. I should have hit a wall or something, right?"

His lips twitched up at the corners. Seeing Gaara smile was the best thing in the world even if it was just a little quirk of his mouth. He tightened his arms around me. "My defense responds to threats. You are merely. . .enthusiastic." His expression softened as his fingers flexed against my lower back. "I don't think it will ever rise against you." His voice lowered a little bit and sounded kind of shy. "It's never done that for anyone else."

I almost wondered why but I guess it was pretty obvious. Gaara had spent most of his life never letting anyone close to him. I was probably the first one who'd ever really touched him in any way. Unhooking my legs, I slowly lowered myself and slid down the front of his body. His breath got a little shallow before he squeezed me tight and leaned forward to press his face into my neck. The scent of cinnamon and sand washed over me and I inhaled deeply. It settled me in a way I hadn't expected and the agitation I'd been feeling lately gradually faded away.

"I've missed you too." Gaara's words were muffled against the collar of my jacket. He sighed heavily but didn't let go. "But I've got a meeting I'm supposed to be attending right now."

I tried to push down my disappointment but it was really hard. I was so happy to see him and now he had to leave again. "How long will it take?"

"I'll be busy all afternoon." He pulled back enough to look me in the eye and his expression was a little sheepish. "But I had to see you first."

I bit my lip and felt myself flush a little. He was the leader of a village with tons of stuff he had to do but he was taking the time to come see me even though he had somewhere else to be. "Will you have any free time while you're here?" With my luck, I'd get a huge mission that would take me out of the village so it wouldn't even matter.

The corners of his mouth turned up in another small smile. "I'll be here for three days for various meetings and consultations. But all of my evenings are my own."

Three days. I immediately wished it was more but it was definitely better than nothing. "We'll have to make the best of it then." I smiled back and kissed him again. He tensed a little in my arms and I almost pulled back but a sudden rustle in the tree above us made me look up sharply. Sai was sitting on one of the lower branches watching us with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Maybe you really are a girl after all, Naruto," he said.

"You. . .!" My muscles bunched as I prepared to leap up and knock him on his ass but Gaara's fingers gripped the back of my jacket and held me still.

"So easily provoked," Sai murmured to me before bowing his head slightly at Gaara. "Good afternoon, Kazekage-sama."

Gaara nodded in return. "Sai." He was calm and relaxed again and I wondered if he'd noticed we had company before I did. I had thought he was getting uncomfortable but maybe he was just shy.

"Kankuro was looking for you," Sai continued. "He said the meeting was about to start."

I felt another flush of warmth. Not only had Gaara put off a meeting to come see me, he'd snuck away from his brother to do it.

"Thank you," Gaara told him. "Please tell him I will be there shortly." Gaara had always been really polite, even when he'd been younger and much scarier. But it fit him more now. He always seemed calm and composed even when he was under a lot of stress. In a way, I was actually a little envious that he could pull that off. Whenever I was under pressure, I tended to get loud and mouthy which didn't do much except piss other people off.

Sai nodded again before leaping off the branch and heading into the village. But he didn't bother to apologize for being a jerk.

"If he makes one more crack about me being a girl, I swear. . ." I let the threat hang in the air.

"He's struggling to find a way to connect with the people around him," Gaara said absently as he watched him go. "It may not be completely successful, but he's trying."

I opened my mouth to say something but closed it again. I'd never really thought of it that way. Sai had always been strange and I'd hated him when we first met. Things had definitely gotten better between us since then, but every once in a while he'd do something that would piss me off all over again. His favorite way seemed to be questioning my masculinity. It was strange to think of it as him trying to connect to me.

"Does he even realize that he's being a total ass when he does that?"

"Possibly. I believe he's trying to gauge your reaction to what he says. He may not always be trying for a positive one." Gaara hugged me again before letting go. "I need to go, but I will see you later this evening."

"It's a date then." I grinned kind of stupidly but I couldn't help it. My irritation with Sai was already mostly forgotten. I was going on a date with Gaara. "I'll treat you to Ichiraku."

Gaara seemed amused but not surprised. Of course, nobody who knew me would be. What can I say? I love ramen. We walked back into the village together but we didn't really say anything. There so many questions that could have been asked and things we could have discussed. But I don't think either of us wanted to get into anything without being able to finish right now. For me, I was just happy he was here. And I really, really wanted to hold his hand. But this whole thing between us was still really new and I wasn't sure if it would be okay or not. Throwing myself at him and kissing him senseless when we were alone was one thing. Hanging onto him like some lovesick girl with a crush was another.

Up ahead, I could see Kankuro waiting outside the Hokage Tower with Temari. Sai stood off to one side watching them curiously. Gaara's siblings seemed agitated and they both glared at us when we showed up, but their expressions shifted more towards mild amusement when they saw me. I knew they weren't really mad or anything. They were just a little uptight about their jobs. I think both of them needed to relax a little bit.

Kankuro let out the breath he seemed to have been holding. "I'd ask where you've been but I guess I don't have to." His expression softened under the face paint as he looked at me. "How have you been, Naruto?"

"Um," The question caught me a little off guard. He sounded strangely sincere, like he really wanted to know and I still wasn't really used to that. "I'm fine," I said automatically. But I wasn't really fine. Not by a long-shot. There was always way too much time for me to think these days and way too many things to think about. But it wasn't something I was going to talk about. Not here. Not now.

"We're going to be late if we don't get going," Temari said. She didn't sound angry or anything but she was still pretty insistent.

Gaara's shoulder brushed mine as he passed. "I will see you later this evening."

"Okay." I felt that foolish grin on my face again and the worries that had started to grow with Kankuro's question faded into the background again. "Later." I watched them go inside and wondered what I was going to do with myself for the rest of the afternoon. I was so happy that Gaara was here and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to concentrate on anything.

"I was watching you train earlier, Naruto," Sai said. He was sitting on the short wall that ran around the tower and he was watching me closely. "It wasn't all that impressive."

His eyes were mostly closed and he had that weird fake smile on his face again. Like he was laughing at some secret joke that I didn't get. I bristled immediately and my lip curled thinking that he was trying to insult me. But I remembered what Gaara had said and forced myself to relax. "You think you can do any better?" I asked him as I crossed my arms.

"Oh, most certainly," Sai said, his faint smile never wavering. "Perhaps I could give you a few pointers."

I really couldn't tell if he was trying to piss me off or if he really wanted to help. Honestly, I hadn't really been able to get into the training alone earlier so I hadn't been at my best. And I'd been complaining to myself that I had nobody to train with. Maybe this was the perfect opportunity to get something done. I'd always been curious about what Sai could do.

"Only if you can keep up." With a smirk, I took off for the training grounds. I didn't even need to see Sai to know that he was keeping pace with me through the trees. This could be interesting.

. . . . . . . .

A few hours later I was covered in bruises and ink, but the training had actually been pretty good despite the handful of insulting remarks Sai had thrown my way. I hadn't really fought him seriously since the first day we met when he attacked me. It turned out he was pretty good and I'd never seen anyone use the kind of techniques that he did. It had been challenging in a way I hadn't expected and I felt that good, achy-tired that came from actual progress. But I was pretty dirty and I really needed a shower before dinner with Gaara.

As I turned the key in the lock on my door and went inside, I realized that I should probably clean up my apartment too if he was going to visit. It was kind of a mess right now. It wasn't completely filthy or anything but there were clothes on the floor, scrolls and books piled haphazardly on every surface, and some empty ramen cups in the kitchen that needed to be thrown away.

But the shower came first. Stripping out of my clothes, I rinsed most of the ink out of the fabric in the tub before dropping the whole mess in the bathroom sink to deal with later. Then I stepped under the hot spray to wash myself. I was worried that I'd be covered in black smudges for the next week but it seemed to be coming off pretty easily. When I finished, I wrapped a towel around my waist and went out into the kitchen to make a cup of noodles. We were going to Ichiraku later but I was starving now and I needed a snack. I was hungry enough that I'd definitely still have room for the good stuff.

But when I plugged in the electric teapot to heat up the water, the lights flickered with a power surge that made the wall socket spark. The current traveled up my right arm and down my left to where my hand was resting on the sink. My heart skipped a beat and my breath caught painfully in my throat. One of the kitchen chairs clattered to the floor as I stumbled back. When I finally hit the wall, I slid down to sit on the floor as my whole body shook while I fought just to breathe. I couldn't see the apartment anymore. The shock had thrown me back into a memory that I'd been struggling to forget.

The sound of a thousand birds was roaring in my head and it was dark except for the flickering light of Chidori. I would have screamed but I couldn't draw the breath to make a sound. The sharp, vibrating pain tore at my body and left me twitching in the aftermath. I couldn't get away from it. It was always there. It felt like a part of me would always be in that room being torn apart and put back together over and over. I thought I heard a knocking sound somewhere in the background, and maybe someone calling my name but I wasn't sure. I tried to respond but all that came out was a pathetic whimper.

And then Gaara was there.

"Naruto," he murmured as he placed his hands gently on my shoulders. "Are you alright?"

I looked up at him with wide eyes. Everything was so much harder now than it had been before but I hadn't really talked about it with anyone. Nobody knew what had happened to me all those months ago and it was going to stay that way as long as I could manage. I know that other people had noticed that things weren't quite right with me but when they asked, I always told them that I was fine. But looking into Gaara's eyes, I knew I couldn't lie to him.

"No." I swallowed hard. "No, I'm not alright." I sniffed as my eyes started to burn. "But I don't know what to do about it." The pain and the memory were already starting to fade, leaving nothing but emotion in their wake.

Sitting down next to me on the floor, Gaara took my hand and carefully uncurled my fingers of my right hand where they'd clenched into a tight fist. He used a healing jutsu on the electrical burn that I hadn't even noticed. I felt the warm wash of his chakra and finally started to relax a little bit. I hadn't realized how tight and locked my muscles had gotten until they started to let go. Now I felt a little foolish. My whole body was trembling from the adrenaline crash and I was trying really hard not to cry.

Gaara put his arm around me and I leaned against him with my head on his shoulder. He didn't say anything and I was grateful. He wasn't trying to make to me talk about it and he wasn't saying things just to make me feel better. He was just there. With very few exceptions, I'd never really had anyone to lean on like this. Iruka Sensei had been the first to let me create a bond and show me that not everyone hated me. Kakashi Sensei was a great mentor and he'd helped me train to be a better ninja. Yamato Taichou was honest with me and worked on helping control the power that tried to overwhelm me. Tsunade Baa-chan treated me like a person instead of weapon and she really believed in me. Sai and Sakura backed me up and supported me.

But Gaara was the only one who really understood what I needed.

He'd once apologized because he didn't think he was very good at taking care of me. But that wasn't true. He'd found me beaten and battered in the desert after the one person I'd cared about most had tried to destroy me. He'd given me space while I healed and then pushed me when I really needed it. I'm not sure I could have gotten through it without him. Sighing, I sank into him and he rested his cheek on my wet hair.

"You haven't been sleeping," he murmured. It wasn't a question. I should have figured that he'd notice.

"No, I haven't." I couldn't remember the last time I'd slept a whole night through. My natural stamina helped keep the fatigue from being too overwhelming but it was always there now. I didn't have nightmares every single night but when I did, they were bad. The rest of the time, it was just hard to lay there in the dark all alone. I tried to take my mind off it with training and work but the lack of missions was frustrating. It was like nobody thought I could handle myself anymore. I wasn't even allowed to try.

Gaara pressed a gentle kiss to my hair and stroked his fingers attentively down my arm before helping me to my feet. He led me into the bedroom and sat me down on the bed where he finished toweling my body dry and dressed me in a clean pair of boxers. I closed my eyes and focused on the feeling of his fingers rubbing through the towel as he dried my hair. There was a strange sense of intimacy even though it was such a simple thing. When I'd first seen Gaara earlier this afternoon, I'd immediately wanted him in bed. That was part of what I'd missed and there were nights lying alone in my room that I tried to imagine and remember what it felt like. I wanted to touch and be touched. But right now I just wanted to be close, to make that emotional connection that was so much more important than any physical sensation.

Tugging on his jacket, I pulled him closer so he was standing between my knees where I sat on the edge of the bed. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held on tight.

"Just stay with me," I whispered.

Gaara smoothed a few damp strands of hair off my forehead and settled down on the bed with me without saying a word. It was much smaller than his but that just meant we were closer. I wrapped myself around him and rested my head on his shoulder. He'd stripped out of his coat and pants so I felt the heat of his bare skin against my own. His hand was rubbing gentle circles on my back and I found myself relaxing more than I had in a long time. It got harder to keep my eyes open and they slipped closed before I realized it.

. . . . . . .

I woke to the smell of food cooking which made me pry my eyes open. I was alone in my room but I could hear someone moving around in the apartment. Dragging myself out of bed, I pulled on a shirt and padded down the hall to see Gaara in my kitchen cooking eggs. The sight seemed so utterly strange that I nearly pinched myself. My brow furrowed as I stared at the pan. The eggs smelled fantastic but I hadn't bought any recently.

"Um. . .if those are from my fridge, we probably shouldn't eat them," I said uncertainly.

"Good morning." Gaara turned from what he was doing and looked at me for a moment. Seemingly satisfied with what he saw, he went back to the stove. "Don't worry, these are fresh. They're from you neighbor downstairs."

My brows rose and nearly disappeared up into my hair. "My neighbor?" I wasn't sure why he would give me anything. Usually the people who lived in my building yelled at me to keep it down when I trained in my room late at night.

"He said he wanted to thank you for helping his niece."

I raised a brow and wracked my brain to figure out who he was talking about. But I just couldn't remember. I helped a lot of people whenever I could but nothing specific came to mind.

"I don't remember. . ."

"He said the next time she sends him cookies, he promised to save you some," Gaara said with a small smile.

When it hit me, my eyes widened. "Oh, yeah. There was this group of bandits that was raiding a town up in the northwest. Me and my team flushed them out." That had been a while ago. It hadn't been a very challenging mission but it made the townspeople really happy and kept anybody from getting hurt. And those cookies had been really good. I'd have to thank my neighbor when I got the chance even if I wasn't quite sure how to do it without feeling stupid.

"He also said he'll fix your lock today."

"My lock? What's wrong with it?"

I backtracked to the hallway and craned my neck around the doorframe to take a look at the front door. There was a hole where the doorknob used to be. The knob itself lay on the floor next to the twisted latch plate and the whole frame had been sealed shut with a layer of sand to keep it closed.

"What the. . .did you break in last night?" I didn't really remember Gaara coming into my apartment last night. He'd just kind of been there when I needed him.

"I heard you outside and you sounded. . .distressed," he said carefully. "So I let myself in." Gaara returned my baffled gaze with a calm look. "Had I thought you were in danger, I would have kicked it down completely." He held my eyes long enough to let me know he really meant it before turning back to the stove again. There was a warm feeling that settled in my chest which was nice but at the same time it made me a little flustered.

"Thanks," I mumbled. I sat at the kitchen table as Gaara set a plate of eggs and fruit and a glass of milk down in front of me. There was a lump forming in my throat. I don't think that anyone had ever actually cooked for me before when it wasn't in a restaurant. Gaara sat across from me with his own plate. He was already dressed for the day which reminded me that he wasn't here just for a visit.

"So, do you have a bunch of meetings and stuff today too?" I asked in a lame attempt to redirect my thoughts and avoid talking about last night.

"Yes. We're discussing the location of the Chunin Exams. I'm hoping that we can hold them in Suna this year."

The Chunin Exams. That's when I first met Gaara. It was also when everything changed but not in the way I'd expected. I still hadn't taken the exams myself yet so I was technically a Genin. The thought made me frown into my eggs.

"Is something wrong?"

I looked up to see Gaara giving me a mildly worried look.

"Ah, no." I didn't want him to think that the exams shouldn't be held in his village. It was my own issues I was having a problem with. "I think that's a really cool idea. Do you guys have a creepy forest filled with giant snakes too?"

His lips twitched in that small smile again. "No. But we have a challenging area that is comparable."

I wondered briefly what it was like but that wasn't really what I wanted to know. Huffing an irritable breath, I put my fork down. "Did they make you Chunin right after we took the exam?"

Gaara took a moment before he answered. "Not immediately, no. My progression as a shinobi has not exactly been standard." He didn't sound angry but I could tell he wasn't really happy about it. "There was a lot of recovery and restructuring after what happened. I spent four months in the regular ranks without my siblings as a Genin before the council promoted me directly to Jonin. And then I was made Kazekage a couple of months before the Akatsuki came to Suna." Shaking his head as if shaking off a memory, he looked at me again. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm the only one in my class who's still a Genin." It came out as a whine but I couldn't quite help it. The whole thing really bothered me and I don't think I'd realized just how much until that moment. "I think I'm way past that point now but I don't even have team to take the exams again."

"Would you like me to speak with Tsunade?"

I immediately shook my head. "No. This is something that I need to do on my own."

It wasn't that I didn't appreciate his help. I loved that he was thinking about me and I knew he really would do it. But I couldn't let Gaara fight my battles. That would almost be worse than not getting what I wanted at all. Even as I had that thought, I was reminded about last night. How would I have handled that if he hadn't shown up when he did? I hadn't really been hurt that badly, physically speaking, and the wound was already healed. The emotions had also faded until they were just an uncomfortable memory. But they were still there in the back of my mind and the thought of remembering them completely made me a little nervous.

Gaara reached across the table and took my hand. I gripped his fingers and took a deep breath as I let the connection ground me again. I'd figure it out. Somehow.

. . . . . . .

A/N: Writing from Naruto's point of view is so much harder than writing for Gaara. There's a fine balance between making his thoughts sound like him and making him sound like a moron. The first few chapters of this story have been sitting around on my computer for almost a year and this is the first time I've been remotely happy with them. I'll have to see if I can keep pushing myself to keep producing new chapters so I can finish it.