Hello and welcome to "Normal School Year, Future Kids Considered."
Allow me to give some backstory. Through inexplicable cosmic events, I was thrown into the future, specifically the year 2104 and I convince Cato, Clove, Glimmer, Marvel, Marissa "Foxface" Finch, Rue, Thresh, Katniss, and Peeta along with Luci, of District 3 (she was created for a different story and she's included in here, but she only appears later on because she works a lot on her own stuff in secret) to fake their deaths (except Katniss and Peeta after their show at the pre-game interviews stir up the rebellion) and then we all work together in the rebellion, fighting on the front lines. After everything settled down (and we saved Finnick and Prim because I enjoy happy endings), time throws me back...and brings everyone else along with me.
Next, I enroll everyone at my school, after having Luci and Marissa enter in total records for everyone, fake names, medical histories, everything. However, to do a lot of stuff, we needed cash. So, they stole small amounts of cash from various large organizations which had gained that money illegally. This amounts to a total of about five billion dollars. So, tuition is paid, nice apartments in a building run by a very secretive and shady character are purchased, and things settle into what passes for normal with out group.
The recent actions, however, have piqued the interest of the FBI and a shadowy private organization with enough spare change laying around to hire a private army. So there's that we have to deal with.
Onto non-lore topics. I am a protagonist and the narrator for this story. The "I" in the story is based off of me. My flaws are either gone (and replaced by other ones) or left alone, or even worse sometimes. I still have my good qualities, but I'm hard on my friends, I'm still very sarcastic, downright morbid, but I am more cheerful because I have a lot to care about now and people to keep me in good spirits. Cato is my asshole and womanizer of a best friend who I try and help him better himself, and various characters appear. The "fencing" mentioned is based off of a dream where I was on my school's mock combat team which was called fencing. That dream is also where most of the initial characters (my fencing teammates, and a few others) came from. Several other background characters who I interact with (such as chorus members) are based off of real people and as such fill their roles in this story that they do in real life.
The story was conceived as a straight humor, however there is romance that develops (starts rather suddenly too). There are few long stretches, as it was conceived as a slice-of-life style story, so time will have odd skips and jumps between events. Usually separated by a chunk of blank space (until I think of something better)
I think that's it. Anyway, enjoy and prepare to laugh...or wonder what is wrong with me.
Chapter One: A Heck of a First Day
"Well, our first year at your school," Cato states unemotionally.
"Hey, they changed in the short time right before I was with you guys. Two years before I went forward, so a year before I went here, they were all male and had a dress code. The hangar wasn't used for anything. Now, we've got our sword combat team in there, yeah, I know, unique variant of fencing where we fight warrior style, blah blah blah, but allowing girls and casual dress too? This school year is going to be awesome," I explain. I was already acquainted with some characters around campus. My fencing teammates and close friends Zoe, Ryan and Alison who's the only rival to me skill wise, Erin who's a bitch but thinks I'm attractive and tries to have sex with me every chance she gets, Kevin who's a criminal type but is trying to break free of that world and he's smart enough not to get noticed, Austin, a computer mastermind who's extremely smart in all aspects, but can hack the DoD blindfolded while bleeding out, and Conner, my best friend from my freshman year last year.
"Hey man!" Conner calls, a smile appearing on his face as he walks over.
"Shit, we need names for you all," I mutter under my breath.
"You'll think of something," Marissa assures me.
"Hey," I greet him, "It's been too long."
"I know. Who are your friends?" he asks, gesturing to the former tributes behind me.
"Well, Chris Andrews, aka Cato, Marissa Finch, Katie Everdeen, Peter Mellark, Tony Franklin, sometimes known as Thresh for whatever reason he changes this week, Gabriel Hawthorne who goes by Gale," I begin.
"Gabriel Lee is my first and middle name, so I shorten it to Gale," he explains my choice of name and reasoning for his "nickname" which he comes up with as quickly as I make up the aliases
"Yeah, and then there's Martin Grace," I continue only to be cut off again.
"And I go by Marvel as all the ladies stop and stare," Marvel says cockily.
"Remind me to castrate you this evening. The thought of you having children keeps me up at night," Clove and I say at the same time, in the same flat tone.
"Wow, that's still creepy," Marissa comments.
"Yeah, I'm Carina Henderson but I prefer Clove. Short for Clover as in the four leaf clover, a common sign for good luck as when I'm around, things are always better," Clove says on her own.
"Yes they are," I agree in a bit of a trance before quickly snapping out of it.
"I'm Gwen Matthews," Glimmer adds without prompting.
"Our other friend Luci Butler is around here somewhere. You'll recognize her by a big grey sweatshirt, black glasses, hair that can only be described as the color of white gold pulled back to a ponytail," I state.
"Hey, show me to the locker room," Cato requests.
"Sure thing," I say, "I'm sure you all can get acquainted."
"No problem," Katniss says.
"Later Kat," I reply and mouth, "It's a nickname that uses your real name and alias," before she can threaten to kill me.
"Come on dude," Cato drags me off.
"Wow, you guys have a kickass locker room," Cato says in admiration as he puts some of his sports gear in the locker assigned to him.
"Yeah, you know that it took me a lot of effort to bullshit your transcripts, medical records, everything," I remind him.
"But you did it. And now, all easy. Clove is finally going to go out with me..." he starts up.
"Whatever situation you worked out in your head where you're a douche and she'll help you change and end up loving you is bullshit. It will never happen, ever. Quit making up fairytales," I cut him off.
"You don't know that," Cato snaps.
"Pretty sure he does," Zoe adds from the girls section.
"Thanks Zoe," I call back.
"No problem," she replies as she walks into the entrance to the girls section and leans against the door.
"Oh, what do we need for fencing?" Cato asks.
"Plain clothes, your choice of sword," I reply.
"No uniform?" Cato asks suspiciously.
"After Ryder's grand fuckup last year, Coach worked it out where we don't need them. First day he forgets his gear, Coach lets him fight anyway, and he kicks ass. Oh by the way, today's match is against the Russian team again," Zoe explains.
"It wasn't all me. If I recall, I was only showing off, sort of, to get your attention because we liked each other," I counter.
"Yeah, and then I was kidnapped and you guys saved me," Zoe adds.
"So you're telling me that this mother fucker right here was into crazy stupid dangerous stuff before I met him?" Cato inquires in astonishment.
"Why the hell do you think I don't care if I live or die? I don't have much," I reply.
"Hey, dude, think I could use a shortsword?" Cato asks me, avoiding the subject as he likes to do whenever somebody that isn't him makes a valid point. I let it go.
"Don't see it mattering much," I answer with a shrug, "You trained with it before."
"Yeah, we're looking for some good people to add to the team after everyone else left," Zoe adds.
"Sweet. After what I showed before, even if it was faking it, I'm going to kick ass," Cato states.
"Yeah," I reply in agreement. The three of us step out of the locker room.
"This'll be easy," Cato proclaims as we head up the hallway towards the dining hall.
"Except for the fact that dummies aren't challenging enemies by any means," I reply.
"Oh what, and Peacekeepers are?" he retorts.
"Hey, my kill count was still higher than yours," I reply.
"That's because you're an insane, movie influenced action hero type, whereas I am..." Cato begins.
"...A total jackass?" I ask. He shoots me a dirty look but his reply is forgotten about due to one of our friends arriving.
"My friends, my friends, I just discovered some amazing new information. Glimmer kicks ass as a guitarist," Marissa runs up to us excitedly.
"Glim can shred?" I ask with interest.
"Oh yeah," Marissa responds.
"Hardcore duuu-" Cato starts out, mockingly.
"Shut up," I cut him off.
"Match is almost starting guys," Zoe reminds us urgently.
"Book it to the hangar. Marissa, round up the gang," I order.
"On it!" Marissa rushes off.
"Let's do this," Cato states.
"Zoe, Ryder, glad you're here," Coach greets.
"This is Chris. I vouch for his skills as a swordsman. Let him in," I state quickly.
"If you trust him, I'll take your word. You are the star," Coach agrees without question or hesitation. I'm his golden boy. Not that I like being his favorite, but at least I worked out a deal where he doesn't compare others to me or uses me as an example when they don't perform as well as I do (which I couldn't do as good as I do without their help), and I keep my mouth shut about how incompetent he is in his position.
"Hey, rat boy," my Russian rival greets, egotistical smirk plastered on his face.
"You know my name, Nikita," I reply pointedly.
"So?" he asks.
"Explain please," Cato commands.
"A year ago, the first match, our boy took out Nikita to help me out. That started a lovely rivalry," Zoe answers gesturing to me.
"Come on," Alison calls to us.
"Hey Alison," I greet.
"Hey bud, been a while," she replies.
"Missed you guys," I tell her.
"Less mushy shit, more ass kicking," Cato barks as the match starts.
"I'm with him," Ryan states quickly.
"Okay, Cato and I will roll left, the other three, distract them," I snap into commander mode.
"Rodger that chief," Cato acknowledges.
"All right. Let's do this," Alison whispers.
"Round, Begin!" The announcer, well, announces. I advance cautiously, waiting to see if Siren and Nikita will make any moves.
"Siren, on your left," I tell Cato quietly.
"Siren?" he asks.
"Girl on their team who likes to play with her opponents before beating them," I answer, "Which reminds me, no killing."
"Got it," Cato acknowledges before blowing past me and taking on three of their guys at once.
"Hey hot stuff," Siren hisses.
"Can we just do a repeat of last time?" I ask confidently.
"I'm much better than last year," she replies with a mock cheerfulness, lowering her guard. I slash her chest twice and poke her stomach.
"You're also out," I deadpan.
"Alex! Watch your six!" Cato hollers before Alex gets knocked out. Cato's still holding his own with the three opponents.
"Hey pal," Nikita greets, venom in his voice.
"Hey Russian loser," I respond flippantly.
"Nobody talks to me like that," he growls, fake smile twisting into a scowl.
"I just did and I have the record against you to prove it," I reply before launching my attack. Cato has since taken care of his three enemies as I see out of my peripheral vision. Alison, Cato and I are the last left.
"Well, time for you to lose," Nikita replies before disarming me and then going for the "kill."
"Nope," Cato states as he strikes the Russian across the back.
"Chyort!" Nikita mutters as we win the match.
"Man, that was awesome guys," Clove compliments.
"Well, our guys do well," Glimmer replies.
"Very true Glim," Clove admits.
"Come on, match was good and all, but we should see what's going on around campus," Conner suggests.
"Excellent idea," I voice my agreement.
"Awesome," Zoe agrees. We head out of the hangar and into the plaza of the new building.
"Hi Austin," Marissa greets the resident computer master.
"Oh hey Marissa. You're friends with Zoe and them?" he asks in surprise.
"Yeah. They brought me here after all," she says.
"Cool. Want to see that project I've been working on?" he asks excitedly.
"Sure," she accepts before adding, "Later guys."
"See ya," Cato waves her goodbye.
"He's been working on that thing since May, but he still won't tell me what it is," I state.
"Hey cutie. Want to ditch your loser friends and take a ride down Orgasm lane with me?" Erin, the bane of my romance life, general annoyance, and all around bitch purrs in a voice that I can only describe as "failing seductive." Or maybe "knife on stone." She appears out of nowhere like this.
"As tempting as your offer sounds, and it sounds as tempting as sticking my dick in a blender, I'm going to have to ask you to kindly go fuck yourself again. So please fuck off," I reply very politely, with my anger simmering just below the surface.
"Ooh, naughty words. Maybe I can show you a different way to be bad," Erin still tries.
"Erin, if he wanted to catch a nice case of AIDS, he'd sleep with you. Somehow, I don't think he's interested. So take a hint and fuck off," Marvel says in a disbelieving tone.
"Oh come on baby, you know I'm clean," Erin persists.
"Erin, the real reason he won't sleep with you, is because I'm his girlfriend. And I could murder him in his sleep if he cheated," Clove says, baring her teeth in a friendly smile that also oozes of conveying another death threat.
"Fine. Whatever. Later you slut," Erin scoffs, flips us the bird, and walks off.
"You. Did. Not. Just. Call. My. Friend. A. Slut," Glimmer growls.
"Oh, want to bitch at me about it? Daddy won't buy you a nice new diamond Rolls-Royce? Is that why you're all pissy?" Erin teases malignantly at the misconception that Glimmer is rich.
"No. We're just going to kill you," Glimmer and I growl together. As our group of friends, we have rehearsed a lot of moments where we reply together to get the maximum fear instilled in those giving us problems.
"You don't scare me," Erin states indignantly.
"No, but I do," Thresh says from behind her, dark smile creeping onto his face.
"Oh shit," Erin starts to back away slowly.
"Yeah. An appropriate response," Cato informs her.
"Run Erin," Clove suggests. Erin sprints for the safety of the building nearby.
"My girlfriend?" I ask in astonishment that Clove would say something like that.
"It was an exaggeration of the truth I utilized to suit our needs," she replies with a shrug.
"I figured as much," I say.
"Hey, have they gotten anything done yet around here?" Peeta asks.
"Huh?" I ask in confusion.
"Wi-Fi isn't up," he replies, tapping his iPad mini.
"They said it wouldn't be up until the 11th. Today is the 5th. Listen," I reply, agitated.
"Hey guys, Panera across the street. Let's go," Cato insists.
"Fine," I grumble and we head out.
"So how sure are you that we're not missing something?" Clove asks me as we reach the edge of the campus, shopping center where the local hang out is located visible across the street.
"What conversation are you referring to?" I request clarification.
"Algebra II," she reminds me.
"Yeah, he said it was wrong, but I still can't figure out how," I reply, referencing a tricky math problem.
"Neither can I," she sighs. I check the street for incoming cars.
"Break for the island," I draw out the end of the last word as a car whips past, "NOW!"
"Nice! You didn't almost get us killed like you did on orientation," Marvel applauds after we reach the other side.
"Shut up," I reply, gauging the distance and speed of the next car to calculate when it is safe to cross.
"Walk, go now," Glimmer beats me to it. We stroll across, letting a car pass us in the second lane which we start crossing as a car rushes through the lane behind us... to come to a dead stop at the red light four feet away.
"Awesome, see how killing us would have saved you so much time?" Cato asks rhetorically prompting a giggle from Katniss.
"Did you just gig- did she just giggle? Did you just giggle?" Gale asks.
"You guys are playing the cousins ploy here, right?" Peeta asks Gale.
"Peeta, haven't we buried the hatchet?" Gale inquires.
"I guess so?" Peeta shrugs.
"Of course man!" Gale answers.
"Then yes, I think my girlfriend did just giggle," Peeta answers.
"Girlfriend?" I ask, impressed.
"Yep," Katniss answers simply.
"Enough with the gushy shit guys, come on, I need to hit on girls. Haven't done so in two hours, I'm getting the shakes," Cato jests.
"How is it being killed hasn't mellowed you out yet?" I ask.
"You mean the arena?" he responds.
"No, the time you got smothered to death by a stripper," I say, "Yes the arena. Einstein."
"Where we faked my death, yes, I don't know," he strings together several phrases as a unique way of answering me and telling me to forget about it.
"You are hopeless," Thresh says.
"You still look like you could be in college, or have graduated college, or are a wrestler or something," I say in awe of how easily he could kill me, not getting past how Thresh could look at home anywhere but District 11.
"Yep, he could," Marissa agrees, having joined us alongside Austin.
"This is too big of a group of friends," Zoe comments as we step in the door. Place is nearly empty.
"We beat the rush," Glimmer comments.
"Hey, some of the baseball guys are over there, Alex c'mon!" Ryan says and grabs my other fencing teammate.
"There goes our team," Alison comments dryly.
"Oh hush," Zoe says in reply.
"Hey, there's a booth," Glimmer says.
"We'll take that table right next to it," Cato and I agree.
"Okay, Glim, move over," Katniss say as she moves in beside our blonde haired friend.
"Man, you guys are lucky. You're joined at the hip practically," Clove comments, looking at us.
"No, we're good friends. Ever since I brought out the good guy after I saved his sorry behind from certain death in the arena, I don't want it to go away," I answer.
"You think I'm a good guy?" Cato asks in shock.
"Well, you used to be a butchering, murderous, asshole, now you're just a douchebag, so yeah, in comparison you're a good guy," I answer.
"Cheeky little bastard," he growls, knowing its true but not wanting to admit it.
"Why do I not see these things coming?" Gale asks.
"You didn't see that coming?" Marissa asks.
"Dude, being clueless is my venture. Don't force your way in," Peeta jokes.
"Yeah, and Mellark," Gale says, "Shotgun."
"Fuck!" Peeta snaps quietly.
"You guys always argue about this," Marvel states.
"Yeah as its always an issue," Gale responds.
"Yeah, as friends, we are contractually obliged to bicker," Peeta adds, mattter-of-factly.
"Yeah. Kat stealing bitch," Gale says politely.
"Italian looking jackass," Peeta replies.
"Hey, Italian heritage over here," I pop my head over the divider for the booth and shoot Peeta a dirty look for even playfully mocking my heritage.
"I'm not calling you a Nazi anything," Peeta responds.
"Why would you even go there?" I ask, "I'm German. Family's been here since the early 1900s, predating Hitler's regime by decades," I snap.
"Dude, dude," Cato pulls me back down, "Cute girls walking in. Help me out."
"Nope," I reply.
"Remember that German transfer, Ludwig?" Cato asks. This morning, a lovely exchange student from Germany was giving me a hard time because this kid was insecure about himself, so Cato took care of the problem through intimidation.
"You're not calling that favor in," I state.
"I'm calling that favor in," he replies.
"God damn it," I mutter, rolling my head back to look up for some divine help. Nothing came.
"Hey ladies," Cato greets. They start whispering.
"Couldn't you get Marvel to help you?" I ask him while they're distracted.
"You're better with girls than he is," Cato informs me in a low tone.
"Fuck," I mutter.
"Hey," one draws out the ending and acts flirty.
"How did I get in this mess?" I ask under my breath.
"Because girls think you're cute," Glimmer answers by popping her head over the divider.
"Bull," I reply.
"Sorry, but she's right," Clove adds. That's when I notice a few people looking at us from the corner of the coffee shop.
"Cato," I tap his shoulder and whisper to him.
"Yeah," he replies, nonchalantly.
"See those guys in the corner?" I ask him. He stares at them for a long while but they don't even know we see them. Observational skills are helpful to have, especially when I'm good at them.
"Girls, do you think you could get a table over there, close to the guys in the corner, and then invite us over?" I ask before adding, "They keep looking at us and I don't like it. I want to gather some information by overhearing their conversation. Something tells me, we're the only people in here they're interested in, and that does not bode well. If anyone got hurt, I'd have a hard time living with myself. Especially if any of you got hurt. Pretty girls have no business being bloody or injured, it's the bad guys like me."
"Sure thing. My name's Brooke," the group's "leader" for lack of a better term says with an intelligent wink tossed my way and shakes my hand. She then adds in a quieter tone, "You're not a bad guy. Offering to protect us proves that theory wrong." They leave and Cato and I turn back to each other.
"Do you have any idea who they could be?" I ask him.
"Theory time, but they could be somebody's agents, either a private firm or the government interested is us showing up in the system suddenly," Katniss hypothesizes before another one of the girls comes back over.
"We have a table over there, large enough for all of us if you'd like to join," she offers, loud enough so the men observing us can hear.
"We'd love that," Cato replies smoothly. We follow her over. The men are talking quietly, and I'm listening intently, and fake paying attention to the conversation Cato is having with the girls.
"That's the one. Kid's loaded. Parents would give any money to have their boy back. And the other one is obviously a good friend. We snag 'em both," one says.
"Right," the other one agrees and they sit back, laughing with a nasty smirk plastered across his face.
"So, what school do you go to?" Brooke asks me.
"The one right across the street," I answer in an accidental condescending tone while gesturing out the window.
"I figured," Brooke responds. I pretend my phone buzzes and I appear annoyed.
"Dude, Mike's out in the loading dock," I groan, "again."
"He doesn't see the sign? Let's go get him. Jesus that dude's a dumb ass," Cato sighs, annoyed. We get up, leaving our stuff at the table. Clove nods to me from the half booth on the other side of the aisle that we were sitting at originally to signal the two creeps were following us. We head around back to the loading dock, to a dark corner. The two guys box us in.
"Well well well, I guess you figured us out," one remarks snidely upon seeing us ready for them, and "Mike" not being in sight.
"Not that it's doing you much good, considering you're stuck," the other laughs.
"Wrong," I state and launch myself at the one on the right. I tackle him and throw a punch straight to the side of his face. In my peripheral vision, I notice Cato has grabbed the other guy and punches him in the gut repeatedly.
"Don't mess with us again," I order and rise to my feet before slamming my foot onto my opponent's face to knock him out.
"Dude, that was awesome," Cato compliments as we walk back into the coffee shop.
"I know! I just went all action movie on him," I reply, shocked that I did something as cool as I did.
"So, you deal with those guys?" Marvel asks me.
"Did we ever man," Cato says, "our man right here, the star? He made sure they'll be running scared from here to Venezuela!"
"Nice, nice," Gale says and offers a high five. I accept, of course.
"Now, back to the ladies," Cato grabs my shirt.
"Damnit," I mutter as he pulls me back towards the girls who covered for us earlier.
"Sorry for the inconvenience," Cato greets, smooth as ever. The guy, bless him, can be a huge prick sometimes. I usually end up yelling at him, or hitting him when he acts like an ass, but despite this, he can smooth talk any girl around, that is, if they don't already know him. I vaguely hear somebody speaking and a silence as a response is awaited. I realize I'm the one who's supposed to respond.
"Sorry, what?" I snap out of my reverie.
"I asked, did you just kill or maim them?" Brooke asks slyly.
"Neither. Got a few solid hits on him. Knocked him out," I answer simply.
"How are you a tough guy? You're scrawny as hell," one of the girls asks in disbelief.
"Hush Emily," Brooke silences her.
"You must take my word for it, he is grade A badass," Cato states.
"Very funny," I reply, sarcasm oozing in my tone.
"No, I'm serious. You'd be half the damn varsity football team!" Cato continues.
"A. Everyone knows I suck at sports, B. you're an idiot, and C. I'm the fencing team's golden boy," I reply.
"Fencing?" Brooke asks with interest.
"Basically it's combat, as in knights sword fighting," I explain.
"Match was good today," Ryan calls from across the restaurant.
"Hey, did you tell Nikita he's lucky?" I ask.
"Not yet," Ryan says before turning back to his own conversation.
"Nikita?" Emily asks.
"Yeah. Every year this Russian team comes into town. We beat them last year, three times during their stay, and I got a rival named Nikita from it," I answer.
"Makes sense," the third girl from earlier admits, "Oh and I'm Morgan."
"This is good," Cato comments.
"The conversation has been trivial bullshit," I reply.
"You can get us into the club, right?" Cato asks me suddenly, putting me on the spot. Zoe's dad owns a few nightclubs. One here, one in San Francisco, one in New York.
"Yes," I answer, annoyance showing just enough for him to catch on with my eyes shooting enough of a death threat to let Cato know I'm displeased, but not enough for him to stop.
"Then let's hit it tonight!" Cato says, "with these lovely ladies in tow of course."
"Sure, great," I reply dryly.
"Awesome," Cato adds.
"Well, it'd be nice to ask us first, but we aren't busy," Brooke chides.
"I was going to say something, but didn't feel like hearing him whine about it for three months," I inform her.
"See you tonight boys," Emily flirts before they leave.
"I'm going to kill you," I tell Cato as we head over to rejoin our friends.
"I just scored us!" he defends his actions.
"Man had I not saved you from that arena, my life would be entirely different right now," I sigh.
"Yeah, but I think you like having us around," Katniss says.
"Well, I do," I agree.
"Yeah, and of course I'll help you get girls because I know you'll pretend to be gay and flirt with guys when I need a wingman," Clove says to me while mocking Cato.
"Aw come on Henderson," Cato groans.
"What, Big Bad Chris Andrews can't handle a little joke?" Glimmer asks, laughing.
"Glim, lay off. Stop giving Cato a hard time," I speak up.
"What? I'm only kidding," she replies.
"Still. Cato's insecure about his skill with girls, no need to go rubbing his face in it," I tell her.
"I am friends with some dickheads," Cato states.
"Do you have any new information to share with us?" I inquire.
"Here's one short blanket statement which will cover a large number of future situations. You suck," Cato growls.
"I said new information," I reply.