"At the end of a hard day at the office,

I like to slip into lingerie and high heels."

- Unknown Source.

Even if you had smacked him upside the head and told him he's gone crazy, it wouldn't do a thing for Stan Marsh. He'd tell you calling him crazy was an understatement. He knows he's practically staring in awe of his male companion, now dressed from head to toe in the get-up of a...a girl.

If anyone said this kid still looked like a boy, he'd have to beat the stupid out of them.

Douchebag was rocking it better than any girl could ever dream, with his hips swaying, his short skirt flowing in the wind as he made his way around town. Stan had never noticed that his friend could be so cute, so innocent and adorable looking underneath his usual scruffy, casual look. That was the problem. Douchebag wasn't supposed to be cute and innocent looking to him - he was only supposed to be Douchebag, a dumb and childish nine-year-old boy just like him.

He'd always been tolerant of everyone, save for a select few, but that butterfly feeling in his gut that appeared whenever the new kid just so much as glanced his way made him shiver. Was it only because he looked like a girl at this moment? What if when Douchebag took off the wig, the makeup, and the outfit, all these weird bubbly feelings went away? That must be the case, he can't just develop feelings for him out of absolute nowhere.

Right? Right.

Snapped out of his thoughts by a sudden girly giggle, Stan perks up in confusion. Who in the hell had made that noise...? It couldn't have been Douchebag, could it? No boy in the universe could have it so spot-on, not even Kenny! No way it was him. But there it goes again, from the very source he thought it couldn't have made it's way out of.

The other boy has his hand over his mouth, attempting to stifle the feminine laughter that's threatening to spill out in glee. His other hand is held close to his chest, brightly painted fingernails gently handling the fabric of his top. Oh, no.

"...D-Dude," Stan begins, forcing back a gulp. "You okay?"

I'm not gay, he has to tell himself as he witnesses another fit of girly giggles directed his way. I'm not gay.

"You keep staring at me, it's so weird." He's never heard the new kid's voice before, with him being unusually silent even when questioned about things that demand answers. However, it's not exactly his voice. It's pitched up and cutesy, making him want to melt.

"I-I wasn't..." Flat out fucking lie, screaming it's dishonesty. He'd been staring the entire time, watching the movement of Douchebag's skirt every time the wind caught it, taking mental notes of how his hips moved with every step taken. I'm not gay. I have a girlfriend. I'm not gay! Goddamn you, Douchebag, goddamn you and your gift to make that queasy feeling return. A fist instantly clenches at his side. Don't puke!

"Silly Stan, I can tell you're lying!" Fluttering his eyelashes, Douchebag crosses his arms across his chest and adds the extra kick of popping his hip out. No, no, no - you need to stop right there new kid, you need to stop. Please. His eyes are so bright and beautiful, his body so - no! Goddammit! This ability to charm him was unlike any other, to make him think these impure thoughts...He had to be some kind of sorcerer, sorceress...enchanting him like a witch who wants every man to do her bidding. Princess Kenny needed to flash the goods, all Douchebag needed to do was walk and they'd all come running like a pack of wild animals. Ugh, fuck him.

"I wasn't! I swear, du-" He's shushed by his companion, a finger gently pressed against his lips. The look in the new kid's eyes is unreadable, full of void and nothing as he leans forward and gently nibbles on Stan's ear.

"I like it."

Bluh. So that was the first go-round. Not amazing, not bad...terrible...Lmao. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it! This entire thing is just going to be one-shots featuring Douchebag and a lot of canon characters! Male or female, doesn't matter to me. There might be a lot of Stan...since he's my favourite companion, haha. Feel free to request something? xoxo