Hi everyone here is a new story that I hope that you will like it.

Fixed- 6/26/2015

Edited- 8/1/2016

Thank you to my beta reader theshadowofafool

Warning: Angst, OOC, self harm, abuse, and other things

Chapter 1 The day before

The day was August 11th, and turns out, it was the day before my whole life changed. It started out as a weird day only to turn weirder and weirder as the day went on. It could have been a warning from god about my impending doom. At the time I thought nothing of it, but now that I am at her funeral I think over what had happened within the past week.

The day started out weird like I had said, I was sleeping far later than usual. I usually wake up at seven on school days and on the weekend about nine. My father also had days off on the weekend so most of the time he lets me sleep, instead of waking me up with one of his "loving fatherly kicks" he would let me sleep while ,he too, got some rest.

So when I slept until one in the afternoon, it was scary. So scary that Yuzu thought that I was dead. Funny now that I think about it, she thought that I was dead only for someone to show up dead the next day. She told me that dad had gone to work and that he even did his "loving fatherly kick" but I still did not wake up. She even tried to wake me several times. She told me that I was even breathing very shallow. To make sure that I was not indeed dead she started to shake my arm, to try and get a reaction out of me, or even to see if it would wake me up. She stopped doing that once I moved my hand a little bit. She was relieved to find that I was, in fact, alive and not dead.

Other odd occurrences were that my hair, that usually stays in natural spikes and gets even spikier in the morning,today had flat patching in it, to the point that it looked like I had a pair of mini pigtails in my hair. I decided to shower to get my hair back to normal when brushing it did not work.

I remember talking to Yuzu. We were talking about the normal, little, things that we talked about every day. She told me that lunch was done and that dad left the chores we had to do before our mom got home. He and our mom got sick of telling us a bunch of stuff only for us to forget about them ten minutes later and to get into trouble with our mom.

We loved her, but when she got drunk she turned mean. It got to the point that our dad got us both locks for our rooms. It was only on Mondays that she would drink now, before she would drink three to four times a week. Our father told her that if she wanted to see Karin more often then she was going to have to bring down how much she drank.

Karin is my half sister and she's a year older then me, making her 16 going on 17. She is going to be 17 in September. She is a good sister, but her father (from a one night stand) has her living with him most of the time. Both Yuzu and I could tell that Mom loved Karin more than the both of us. We tried not to show it but it really bothered us a lot.

Getting back to that day, I told Yuzu that I wasn't hungry. She said that she was worried because I hardly eat anymore. She asked if I was OK and I told her I was, and that I was eating just fine. I remember the conversation that happened next down to a T.

"I will let it go for now but…" she had bitten her lip in trepidation before continuing with ,"I really am going to tell dad if you do not stop cutting yourself." She had said this as she glared at my wrist. I knew that I should have stopped but I was stressed.

Our mom had been getting more and more angry every time she got drunk. It was stressing and getting scary. She always told me that I was nothing, and that I failed everything I did. That everything I did was never better or even as good as what my sisters had done. I always knew that she didn't mean what she said, that it was the booze talking for her. I knew that she loved me and that she never thought that I was nothing. I knew all these things but that did not mean that it didn't hurt.

After she said that I had pulled my green hoodie sleeve down in effort to hide the evidence from her prying eyes. It felt like she was trying to see into my very soul.

She then told me how she knew that I was stressed about our mom drinking but she did not even get a fraction of the negative attention that I did. I never told anyone about it all. I would feel like I was betraying her. I even knew why she drank most of the time. Karin does not come over very often, and this upsets her.

I then told her that it was better than if I bit my hands, then last time I did was when we went on a vacation and she got drunk, she ended up pushing Yuzu. Karin finally got to see what we went through every week. I did not want to wish it on her but I feel like she needed to know what was going on.

Our mom had started on one of her rants and went to Karin and started to ask her why she did not love her enough to even spend more time with her. I was starting to shake I was so pissed. I was starting to lose my temper and I did not want to hit my mom. So I bit my hand as hard as I could. I bit so hard I was bleeding and there was a nasty bruise for three weeks after.

I told her that I would try, but with Shiro I never knew what to do. I did not want to hurt my mom and if I got past a certain point in anger I would not be in control of my body anymore. Instead it would be Shiro. I did not want him to hurt Mom so I decided to cut and let loose some of the stress and anger. It helped.

Even if it helped me I knew that it worried her, and I didn't want to add yet another thing to her list of things that she stressed about. There was already our mom's drinking, and our sister never coming over and pretending to be happy. Now there was Shiro and me on that list too. I knew that it killed her inside when I cut, so I try to not show her. I have done it a lot but she only knows of two times, well, three now.

I decided that we had better get our chores done before our mom got home from her job. I knew that it was going to take time to clean since our mom was very particular about the way the house had to be cleaned.

We had finished our chores right in time for our mom to get home. We greeted her and were surprised that she was not drunker than she was at the moment. Usually on Monday's she would have a couple beers and about a pint of whiskey in her system. It was weird but this did happen sometimes and she would sometimes hide the alcohol and drink it through the night. We did not want this to happen and end up being in the crossfire so we when into our rooms and played on our computers for the rest of the night. At least that is what Yuzu did.

When I heard loud snoring I knew that our mom was asleep so I went out into the living room to see how our dad was doing. He said that she was asleep. The weird thing that happened was that she had an intelligent conversation with dad.

The only thing that made me sure that she loved us even when she was drunk was that she never hit us. No matter what.

We were happy that she went to sleep earlier than normal, we thought nothing of this at the time. I think it was because it was a break from the usual trying Monday nights.

Little did we all know was that this was the last time we would see her alive.

Thank you for reading this and please tell me what you thought.

I am going to be redoing a lot of this story making it better. I will try to do a chapter a day.

Please vote on my poll.

See you next time.