I Love You
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to Hollyoaks!
Summary: Brendan finally tells Ste he loves him.
A/N: A fic dedicated to one year ago today when Brendan finally told Ste he loves him.
The summer was supposed to be everlasting. Brendan had it all planned out; he would win Stephen back, promise him the world if he had to, and he would keep them locked away all summer in his bedroom. Of course Stephen would want to leave sometime, fresh air and all that, but Brendan didn't think he would be able to keep him out of his sight after spending so long without him, without his touch.
It had seemed so easy at the time. Brendan truly believed that Stephen would hear him out. One lace curtain later and Brendan had to reconsider. He spotted him in Price Slice, smiling in spite of himself at how surly Stephen seemed, and yet so beautiful all the same. Once again, Stephen shot him down. He wouldn't even hear what Brendan had to say. Brendan had taken a deep breath and been honest with him, that he didn't know how he really felt, because he hadn't told him. That gave Stephen pause and Brendan knew then that he had him.
He had been triumphant, seeing him in that peephole. He smiled, knowing this was it, this was his shot. Stephen had been resistant, at first. He was debating returning to Chez Chez and he told Brendan point blank he didn't know if he wanted to be anywhere near him. He didn't think Brendan would ever leave him alone. Well, that was true. Brendan was beginning to feel that tingle up his spine, the one that often came whenever Stephen was near and Brendan could sense him slipping away from him.
He hadn't meant to say it, not really. Except he'd implied it, hadn't he? When he had asked Stephen here. But he hadn't known before if he truly understood what love meant. But with Stephen here, his eyes dark with suspicion and hurt, his skinny frame delectable and in reach, his heart once more on the line for Brendan to take and shatter if he so chose to. He knew this was it, this was the moment it all changed. Stephen would know from then on that no matter how many games Brendan played with him, Stephen truly held all the cards. He had Brendan, Brendan was his, and he didn't even realise it.
"I love you, Stephen. That's what I didn't tell you, I love you"
And Stephen had been quick to respond. It's too late.
Brendan wasn't about to give up that easily.
xxx
It was all Ste had wanted to hear from day one. Back when he believed Brendan was it; that they could be together somehow if Brendan would only realise. But there had been too many broken promises, too many bruises. Ste would not let Brendan forget that, no matter how much he claimed to love him. Brendan was adamant however, that he could change, that it would be different.
Ste wanted to leave, except he didn't, not really. Brendan prevented that with a swift hand in front of him. Don't Ste had whispered, except he wanted him to. All he had ever wanted was for Brendan to fight for him, not against him. He wanted Brendan to realise that they could have each other if he chose it, if he treated Ste right. Ste had been there himself; the confusion, the fists flying, he knew it wasn't easy to change and it took a lot of courage and support but hell, he was gonna get Brendan there somehow. He would fight for them and so would Brendan. Till the grave, he said. Every day, in his head.
Ste understood that. Even with Noah, Brendan had always been on his mind, in his dreams. Always the same, the voice that never spoke, the actions that never materialised. Now Brendan had finally said everything Ste wanted to hear. He wouldn't hide anymore, not with Ste by his side. Ste would always be with him.
Of course the illusion had shattered almost instantaneously. Ste should have known really that Brendan wasn't ready for this. It didn't matter though in a way. Ste was upset, devastated of course. Remembering the way Brendan held his face as he kissed him on the floor, how Ste had wanted more, always more. But even so, Brendan loved him. That fact couldn't be altered. No one would ever take that away from Ste. It wasn't always easy to believe in it but in that one moment, Ste had felt it. It warmed him and kept him safe. That love would carry him through whatever happened next. And somehow, someday, he knew they would get back here again, together.