Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma.. Unless Takahashi Rumiko-san decided to transfer the copyrights to my name when I didn't notice. Once You've Loved Somebody is by the Dixie Chicks, so I don't own that, either. Beautiful song, I might add.
Once You've Loved Somebody
The pale, silvery moonlight shining through the window fell across the bed, illuminating the form of a woman sitting there, staring blank eyed out said window, eyes seeing something only she could see. Another moment, and her shoulders sagged, as if a great weight had worn them down, and one slim fingered hand reached for the lamp switch, turning it on, bathing the room in bright light, an anathema to the woman's seemingly dark and depressed state. She sighed, eyes trailing over to the window once more, almost as if expecting someone to come swinging through it to say hello, then turned away again. She stared at her hands, slim and long fingered, but not nearly as delicate as they seemed. On the ring finger of her left hand sat a slim silver band, its only adornment a small cat's-eye shaped sapphire.
She twisted the ring around her finger once, twice, thrice, then let it be as she leaned down and pulled her socks off. She tossed them into a hamper across the room, near the door, then stood up and continued undressing, taking each piece of the outfit off with quiet slowness. Each article of clothing followed the socks, landing with dead on precision in the hamper, each one forgotten the moment it left her hand. Now naked, she padded over to the dresser, pulling open a drawer and taking out a clean pair of panties and a simple white nightgown, pulling them on with the same slowness that she'd undressed with moments before. She walked back to the bed and sat down, pulling her hair out of it's bun to let the blue-grey strands tumble down her back to her waist in a shimmering stream, and reached for her hair brush.
Her hand paused over the DiscMan and earphones laying next to the brush, then grasped the brush in a strong grip. Slowly, almost painfully, she began to brush her hair, deep, sad brown eyes focused on the window once more. Stroke after stroke, her hand moved methodically, smoothing the strands again and again, either unknowing or uncaring of the fact that all the tangles had long since been brushed out. Finally, she stopped brushing her hair, setting the brush down and picking up the DiscMan laying there with ever so slightly trembling hands. Then she stood and walked over to the window, hair swaying ever so slightly as she stared across the yard and the koi pond to the main house, hand touching the cool glass ever so lightly.
She turned, then walked across the room and out the door, then down the stairs, mouth silently forming numbers with each step she descended. Finally she reached the ground floor, bare feet warm against the cool wooden planks, and padded towards the door, nightgown swishing softly against her legs with each step. She paused in front of the door, and took a deep breath, then let her hand move of its own accord and open the door. She stood there, hesitating, for a long moment, then took a step.
As if that step gave her unforeseen courage, she took another, and another, finally stopping at a spot halfway between the koi pond and the dojo, watching the moonlight, interrupted occasionally by clouds passing over the moon, played across a plaque set in the ground, with delicate kanji scribed on it, declaring the name of the person who lay resting beneath the barely noticeable rise in the ground. The woman sank to her knees, DiscMan still held in her hands with gentle strength, and splayed her left hand over the plaque before tracing the kanji on it with a finger.
"Saotome Ranma," she whispered, her voice no longer brash and loud as it had been almost a decade before; instead, it had matured into a soft, clear soprano, rarely loud and almost never brash anymore. As if the death of the one laying in the ground in front of her had taken all her need to be loud with him. She wondered, as she traced his name again, if he would be proud of the way she'd matured.
She sat back on her heels, knees resting against the ground and her feet slightly to each side, and unwound the earphones' cord from around the DiscMan, settling the earphones over her ears and then pressing the play button. She didn't know what would play; she never did. Kasumi would always select the song, and it always fit the memories the woman had of her beloved. She sat quietly and let the opening music play over her mind, letting the day's worries wash away, replaced by memories of the smiling, teasing, happy go lucky man that had stolen her heart. And died so young, too young, of leukemia.
"-I should go out tonight
Get on with my life
Break these chains of solitude.-"
Akane smiled, a soft sad smile, upon recognizing one of her favorite American groups. She let her eyes drift closed, happy to lose herself in a time where Ranma was still alive.
"Oi, tomboy!"
"Nani yo?" Akane replied, brown eyes filled with annoyance as she looked up at Ranma, who was standing in the doorway, arms folded across his chest and looking oh so sure of himself. As always.
"Ya busy?" he asked, arching a brow over one bright, dancing blue eye.
"Well, I was going to study for my tests so I wouldn't fail and half to take the year again, but no, not particularly. Why do you ask?" Akane couldn't help smothering the sentence in sarcasm, even though she knew the black haired teen likely wouldn't notice it. Or if he did, he'd just brush it off.
"Well, I got a couple tickets to some concert downtown an' I was wonderin' if ya'd like ta come with me ta see it?" he asked, then quickly added, "Not like it'd be a date, or nothin'."
"What sort of concert?" Akane asked, setting her pencil down. Now here, she thought, is something rare. Ranma wanting to do something with me!
"Uh, Hamasaki Ayumi, Amuro Namie and Do As Infinity," he replied after a pause. Apparently, he hadn't quite expected her to ask that question.
My favorites? Forget about the tests! Akane stood up, smiling happily. "Sure, Ranma. Sounds like fun."
"R-really?" He blinked. He'd hoped, but hadn't really thought that she'd say yes.
"Mmhmm." She nodded. "Just give me a moment to change, ne?"
"Uh, sure."
"-With a little luck and a little help
I might even find myself
In the arms of someone new.-"
Akane shook her head at that, random scenes of the concert Ranma had taken her to years before running through her mind. Sure, she was a bit lonely, but without Ranma, the world had lost it's luster. She had gotten over the biting disbelief, the horrible grief of his death, but she'd mourned him every day for years, never once thinking of someone else. Although Ryoga had tried to capture her eye, she'd just never really responded, and he'd eventually given up. He was now happily married to Ukyo - which had come as a surprise at the time.
"-But once you've loved somebody
It ain't that easy to do
Once you've loved somebody
Like I loved you.-"
She felt tears well up underneath her eyelids, and opened her eyes. Through tear dimmed vision, Akane watched a memory of Ranma getting thrown into the koi pond by Genma play out, and even let out a small half giggle, half sob when the red-headed Ranma-chan sprang out of the water, screaming obscenities and threats, every one of them directed at Genma. She wiped away a tear, and returned her attention to the song, taking a deep, shaky breath.
"-Look what you've gone and done
Ruined everything for anyone
Who tries to steal this heart away.-"
Akane smiled. That, at least, is true. My heart belongs to you, and only you, Ranma. She turned her gaze to the sky, seeking, hoping, to see his smiling face, happily carefree, looking back at her from the twinkling, shimmering stars. Are you watching me, Ranma? From where ever you are, holding me safe in your invisible arms?
"-I can't get you off of my mind
Tried to tell myself a million times
A little time is all it takes.-"
A tear slid down her cheek, feeling a deep connection with the song. So many times, early on, she'd tried to tell herself that she'd get over him being gone, that it would just take some time. But it had never worked, no matter how many times she'd repeat it. A broken sob drifted from Akane's body as she wrapped her arms around herself, hair being blown to one direction by the wind, as she remembered the day Ranma had told her, told everyone, of his disease. That he was dying.
Ranma sat cross-legged on the floor, solemn blue eyes looking around the room, catching everyone's eyes. After they were all quiet and watching him, not fighting amongst themselves as they were apt to do, he spoke. "I bet you're all wonderin' why I asked ya all ta come here." Nods greeted this sentence. "Well, ta say it straight out, I want ya all ta stop fightin' over me. I ain't a prize ta be won, or nothin', ya know."
"Oh my, Ranma," Kasumi commented from the doorway.
"Airen no love Shampoo?" Shampoo asked, blinking.
"I do like ya all, 'cause you're my friends an' family," Ranma answered after a moment. "But I ain't gonna fall for someone who thinks I'm a prize, ya know? I'm tired a all the fightin' over me, Shampoo. It's gotta stop."
"Ranma, what brought this on?" Ranma turned slightly to face his mother, whom, as he'd requested, was keeping her eye on Soun and Genma.
"Ya know how I've been feelin' out of sorts lately? I went ta see the Doc, and he sent me ta the hospital for some tests. I got the results back earlier while I was helpin' the Doc."
"And? What's wrong with you, Ranma?" Nabiki asked, a teasing smile on her lips.
Ranma sighed, eyes closing as he answered, "I'm dying."
An unanimous "What?!" greeted his remark, spawning a flurry of noise and movement until Akane stood up, glaring at everyone.
"Why don't you guys sit down and be quiet so Ranma can talk?!" she asked, fists clenched angrily. Everyone stopped, blinked, and sat back down quietly. Akane nodded curtly, and sat as well.
"Thanks, Akane," Ranma said quietly. "I've got leukemia, an' the docs said it's too far advanced ta do anythin' about."
Akane swallowed, feeling her heart drop in her chest. "How long do you have, Ranma?"
"Three ta six months," he answered. "But no longer than a year."
The silence reigned supreme, each person thinking their own thoughts until Shampoo broke it with a quiet question. "Great-Grandmother, what's leukemia?"
Tears fell in slow, steady droplets from Akane's eyes - almost ten years since he'd died; almost ten years in which not a day passed when she didn't think of him. Almost ten years, and she could still see him, so many different forms of him, pictured perfectly and unfaded in her mind's eye.
"-But once you've loved somebody
It ain't that easy to do
Once you've loved somebody
Like I loved you.-"
Akane stood, wiping her eyes, scarcely noticing that it was futile as more tears just welled up in place of the ones she wiped away. They say time heals everything, she thought disjointedly. So why does it still feel like you died just yesterday? Even after nearly a decade. Oh, gods, it hurts so much! It always does.. I just.. I just bury it so I seem like a normal woman during the day. But you.. You're always there when I sleep. Always.
And, she added, as much as it hurts, I'd rather this than to ever forget you. My Ranma, my beloved.
"-I gave you everything
That I had to give
I don't know if I could go that far again.-"
She slowly began walking towards the house again, back to the small place she'd called home since he'd died and she'd said that the main house held too many memories. As if she didn't hold every one of them as close as she possibly could. They, and some of his clothing, his favorite sleeveless red Chinese style shirt and black pants, along with some photographs Nabiki had taken of him, were all she had of him. She stumbled over the doorstep, but quickly regained her footing and stood in the doorway, one hand resting on the wall just inside the doorway as she stood, staring at Ranma's grave again. The chorus of the song started again, a background to the whirling thoughts in her head, every one of them focused on Ranma.
"-But once you've loved somebody
It ain't that easy to do
Once you've loved somebody
Like I loved you.-"
She shook herself, and quietly closed the door, feet whispering across the cool wood as she crossed the floor and climbed the stairs at a faster pace than she'd descended them. She was soon sitting on her bed again, the square of moonlight resting on her face and glittering like so many diamonds off the wet tracks down her cheeks. She picked up the box of tissues she kept handy, and pulled some tissues out, blowing her nose and wiping her eyes.
"-Once you've loved somebody
It ain't that easy to do.-"
A memory flitted into her focus, and she smiled. It was from about a month and a half after Ranma's revelation about his impending death, and she'd been sitting next to him on the roof, watching the stars with him.
"Oi, Akane?"
"Ne, Ranma?" she responded, turning to face him. She paused a moment, struck by the way the moonlight fell over his body, limning him in silvery light.
"If ya could have one of those stars," he asked, gesturing up at the sky, "which one would ya pick?"
Akane smiled. "It might not be the brightest, or what anyone else would consider the best, but it'd be the strongest, the most protective, one willing to fight me as much as I fight it. Maybe not perfect for anyone else, but absolutely perfect for me."
Ranma felt a lump rise in his throat. Sure, he'd meant for it to be compared to her Mr. Perfect, but he hadn't expected the way she'd answered it. "How would it be perfect for ya?" he asked quietly after swallowing the rebellious lump.
"Perfect," she answered, taking one of his hands in her own, his rough, martial arts worn hand seemingly large against her small hands, "because it would give me all the love I've dreamed of."
Ranma smiled, and carefully pulled her closer for a quick kiss. As they sat cuddled together on the roof, a shooting star streaked across the sky. Ranma gently drew his hand down Akane's arm, and heard her whisper, so softly he wasn't sure she'd spoken, "You're my star, Ranma."
"-Oh! Once you've loved somebody..-"
Akane wiped away the tears, smiling. "You're still my star," she whispered, and laid down, pulling the light blanker over herself. She lifted the earphones off, and set them on the nightstand with the DiscMan, and closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep. Her last thought was a memory of Ranma's smiling face as he teasingly, yet seriously, told her that he loved her. Accompanying it was a soft murmur of, "I love you, too, baka..."
That last line of the song played softly, wafting from the earphones and over the sleeping woman's form. She didn't hear it, but it echoed her thoughts so perfectly she may as well have.
"-..Like I loved you..-"
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Wow. I, like, actually finished a fic. That's a first for this week, no thanks to Midori. And why must I keep having someone dead, or dying, or both?! I'm not sure if I should be annoyed, or what - -; Anyway, enjoy. Reviews are always welcome, but flames will be used to heat up ramen for Ranma, Inuyasha and Naruto. Hehe.
--Myuu