It's a warm summer day. Birds fly by and trees sway peacefully in the wind. The suburb. A place where Sounds of shuffling emanates from the garage of the smiths family. Inside, a blue haired scientist works frantically on an invention, cursing silently at his small mistakes in his haste. From behind him walks Morty, a small kid with no real defining feature aside from an inherited speech impediment and crippling insecurity.
"Hey there, Rick, what you working on?" Morty says, puzzled at why Rick was in a haste.
"Morty, I gotta a-ask you something. L-listen real closely, alright?" Rick says, dropping what he was doing and grabbing Morty by the shoulders and looking him in the eyes with his own bloodshot ones.
"I want you to look at that table there and describe it in absolute detail. Every spec, every single crack, I want you t-to describe it! Now!" Rick commands, pushing Morty at the desk.
"Aw, geez Rick, this dosen't seem neccisary. I mean, It's a table. Its brown, and y-know. I-Its got stuff on it."
"NO Morty, you're missing the point! Nothing in this world has ANY defining features! Only you and me! I can barely see what I'm working on unless I talk about it out loud! I mean look at this!"
Rick points to what looks like a mess of metal parts with components ramshackle'd onto it.
"GOD DAMMIT! Why did we have to be sent here of all places?!" Rick shouts, realising he has not created what he wished.
"Rick, I think you're overreacting. I haven't noticed anything strange." Morty says.
"That's because you've never travelled to as many dimensions as I have! There are some dimensions w-where you can lose your virginity over and over again to a tree! A FUCKING TREE MORTY! Do you know how that feels?! But no, were somewhere far worse than that…"
Rick looks outside, seeing the normal sky and normal suburb. Nothing strange at all about it.
"We're in a fanfiction." Rick says dramatically.
"W-what?!" Morty says shocked.
"Look, even now I feel like I'm being controlled by some preteen doochebag in his underwear right now, but we can count ourselves lucky that he's a real stickler for a 'cannon' approach." Rick says, rummaging through a box. "You don't w-wanna know what other 'writers' made me do or say, Morty, I-it's not something I'd wish on my worst enemy Morty. Because that's just sick."
He pulls out a Plumbus.
"W-what's that for?" Morty says. To that, Rick smiles.
"Morty, you wanna know why I always try to appeal to the 'crowd' that's always watching us from some other dimension? Its c-cause then I get some kind of inter dimensional plot armor! But one thing I'm s-sure we never explained to use was this baby." Rick says, stroking the fleem.
Morty looks at him confusedly.
Rick tears off the bulb from the Plumbus, and nothing happens.
"Just as I thought." Rick says.
"W-what, Rick?" Morty says.
"While the 'writer' may not know how that thing works, I do. That should be proof enough that we gotta get out of here. Only problem is that bastard hid the portal gun! And knowing that guy, if we don't entertain those snot nose r-readers out there, he's gonna leave us here to die!" Rick says, shaking Morty by the shoulders.
"Do you know what that means, Morty? C-can you even grasp the concept how how screwed we are?! We gotta trust that the fatass writing this wont stop, or were stuck here!" Rick says, shaking Morty one last time.
"Ok! Ok Rick! B-but how do we get back? You said someone was controlling us?" Morty says,
"Well, for starters, we do this,"
*CRACK!*
"There, that's better." Rick says, having pushed a button and changing the universe slightly.
"W-wow Rick, w-what did you do?" Morty says, flabbergasted.
"I made this world feel a little more like home. That guy may think he has control, but I make my own rules mothafuckaaaaa!" Rick says, flipping off our general direction somehow.
"Ok, so we can see things better now. Now what?" Morty says, nihilisticly.
"We entertain, Morty. If we get through enough chapters, evertually the readers may like us enough to bully the writer to finish it. And if I have it my way, I'll kill him afterwords."
"W-woah, Rick! Are you sure you wanna say that?" Morty says.
"Don't worry, Morty, t-*burp*-they probably think were fake or some shit. They never expect it." Rick says, taking a swig of his flask.
"Catch us next time, folks! If you don't, we're gonna die! Really! Our blood will be on your hands!"
Chapter 1 end.