The last thing Barney remembers was being thrown violently against the wall of Ted's moving truck. When he opens his eyes it's to total darkness and he's lying awkwardly on his back, his arms and legs dangling beneath him, tingling with cramp.
He can't move much.
He blinks and feels his eyelashes brush something - a soft, black cloth something. It's a blindfold, he realizes with mounting concern. He's blindfolded and his arms seem to be shackled beneath him, his legs are bent at the knees and his ankles are restrained by something heavy and coldly metallic.
But then suddenly, none of that seems to matter. None of that matters the moment he feels something warm and wet slide down over the bare head of his cock, feels his foreskin pulled back with a smooth, irregular jerking motion, and his body is flooded with warm, delicious endorphins.
"What the-?" He gulps, almost swallowing his tongue as he feels fingers dig hard into his hipbone. There's a tight, swallowing sensation around the length of his dick that leaves him grunting.
In the scheme of things, the Stinson brain is not equipped to deal with being kidnapped, tied up and blindfolded while at the same time being… well… blown out of his mind!
For a Rockette, the girl is surprisingly good at this. Barney luxuriates in the sensation of being at her mercy, of the long slow drag of her tongue followed by the sharp, quick tugs at the root of his dick. Yeah, she's suspiciously good at this.
Very quickly he's on the edge, that place where he just wants to push on through to his sweet release, but then she stops. Okay, so maybe she doesn't like the taste, some chicks are weird like that. But that doesn't stop her touching him, in quick, light strokes, occasionally her fist closing around the head so she can smear the clear fluid across and around. It feels pretty damn fucking incredible.
But it goes on way too long.
Soon she's got him gasping and writhing against his restraints, moaning at every feather-light brush of her fingers. She keeps him there, on the edge, for long seconds that turn into even longer minutes. After a while she leaves him alone to calm down, his dick bobbing helplessly in the air, while she pulls up the front of his shirt and twists both his nipples.
That's why he cries out in protest. "Hey! Okay you've had your fun baby!" He yelps, trying impotently to twist his body away from those cruel fingers. "Now be a good girl and jerk me off already!"
That's when he hears the sharp, angry intake of breath.
"Hold up, who is this? Who are you? Talk to me, you silent son-of-a-bitch!" Barney demands, blinking rapidly behind the blindfold. His heart pounds painfully in his chest.
"Took you long enough to ask, The Commodore," Ted's voice hisses, really close to his ear. He sounds angrily triumphant, just like he had on the phone before the moving van swung around a corner and Barney hit his head.
Ted? What the hell? "Where's Sarah?" Barney asks, shifting against whatever it is that he's tied to. It feels just like a weight bench. Holy crap it feels exactly like the weight bench in his own damn apartment! Ted's tied him to his weight bench and hasn't even bothered to undress him. Barney can still feel the material of his suit pressed against his skin and he realizes that Ted has only pulled his pants down just enough to expose his cock and balls. "Ted, you let me go right now!" Barney demands in a panic. Is this some kind of sick and twisted revenge for the whole moving truck thing? "You let me the fuck go or I swear I'll-"
"I took Sarah home," Ted replies calmly, ignoring Barney's tantrum. His footsteps are muffled as he takes a couple of steps away, to be closer to Barney's groin. Then those tiny, tortuous touches continue and Barney can almost hear the smug, self-satisfied smile on Ted's face.
"You bastard," Barney snaps. He should have known all along that this wasn't Sarah. Nope, this is exactly Ted's kind of game. Ted knows exactly when to back off, exactly when to start playing with him again. Ted knows, to the microsecond, when Barney's balls tighten and his orgasm is only a breath away.
Ted's had enough practice after all. He's an expert at playing with Barney's body. Trouble is, he gave up that right when he agreed to move in with Robin. There would be no more secret fucking - it was too much of a risk that Robin would find out. And besides, Ted's in love, isn't he?
As if reading his mind, Ted speaks. "I'm not moving into Robin's place. We decided… I decided. We're not ready. I'm not ready."
Barney can't help but grin.
"Oh shut up!" Ted grumbles, and begins to jerk his fist with quick, dirty little movements that bring Barney to the edge even harder and faster than before.
To the edge, to that warm, beautiful edge, but no further. Then Ted leaves him for that all important second, just enough to deny him his orgasm, while Barney desperately tries to wiggle free of the bench he's tied to, tries to stab his quivering erection against something, anything solid. Then, when the moment has passed, Ted's hand is back with that steady, rough pressure once more.
Barney can do nothing except moan and beg for the mercy he knows Ted is never going to give him.
After maybe half an hour (it's difficult to judge time, Barney feels like he's choking on every damn second of it), he feels like something's shifting and changing. Even though Ted's touch is tentative, a tiny tugging motion, Ted doesn't stop or pull away as Barney's moans get louder. Gradually, as time stretches out, Barney's spine arches off the bench, his body contorts in ways he never thought possible. Slowly it feels as if his whole body is taking one long, deep breath, drawing in, shrinking around his throbbing erection. Then there's a sharp sensation, a pain/pleasure point, and he comes in a rush so hard that he's pretty sure they should reclassify his dick as an offensive weapon.
Later, when he can think again and his mouth is dry and his eyes feel gritty, Ted whips off the blindfold. Barney's gratified to see a pearlescent smear decorating the sleeve of Ted's sweater and he can't resist shooting his mouth off, even though Ted's only just untying him. "So, if you've split up with Robin, does that mean she's fair game for the rest of us?"
When Ted looks down at him, there's something fiercely serious in his eyes. "We haven't split up. And if you ever touch Robin, I swear I'll never speak to you again."
This shuts Barney up for a while until Ted's manages to untangle the ropes or whatever he used to tie him down. Then, when Barney can finally move his dead-weight arms and flex some life back into them, he asks "But me and you, Mosby? We're still gonna hook up, right?"
He wishes it didn't make him feel so pathetically, gratefully relieved when Ted merely smiles and says "Sure, buddy, of course we are."