A/N: This fic is inspired by this epic, epic prompt from the early days of the Glee kink meme:

"Brittany/Santana, Kurt/Puck, Finn/Rachel

...I'm almost ashamed to say it, but damn it, I want Brittany the Vampire Slayer, with Kurt and Rachel as her Willow and Xander (except less get-alongy), and souled!vamp!Santana. If you make Puck a vampire also I will not be unhappy; if he's not a vampire, then having him (and maybe also Finn) get saved from vampires by Brittany, Kurt, and Rachel would be so much win.

And can I please have it as coming from the canon into this twisted world? Like it's normal Glee, and then it turns out that the guy that takes Emma's place is actually a Watcher sent to Lima because the last slayer died (and all that Buffy stuff was just because Joss knew a Slayer, but it didn't really actually happen quite that way).

And lots of Brittany! The Gentlemen come to Lima? "I killed them with a duck."

I cannot fathom how this prompt never got filled. I'm super excited about tackling this, because it combines two of my biggest loves, and I'll forever want to give the prompter a big, big hug (though I'm diverging from the prompt in pretty major ways.) The following just seemed more natural (and more fun!) to me. If the prompter ever reads this, I hope you're not too upset at the changes. Oh, and just in case you're not familiar with it, this prologue is loosely based on the original Buffy movie.

Brittany the Vampire Slayer

Prologue
~

"Since the dawn of man, the vampires have walked among us – killing, feeding. The only one with the strength or skill to stop their heinous evil is the Slayer: she who bears the birthmark, the mark of the coven. Trained by the Watcher, one slayer dies and the next is chosen."

Arthos finished his speech with a flourish, and there followed a silence. The girl in front of him stared at him blankly. Arthos cleared his throat and pushed his glasses up, then let his hands fall awkwardly to his lap. If he still could he would be pacing.

Instead he was confined to a wheelchair, the parting gift of a particularly vicious vampire that his former Slayer had died putting down. Brittany finally spoke, breaking Artie's bleak reminiscences.

"So you've been like…watching me?" Brittany grinned and raised her eyebrow. "That's kinky. I've never done a dude in a wheelchair before…"

"No!" Exclaimed Arthos, cringing deeper into his chair. He blushed red at his flustered reaction, then said again, calmer, "No. Although I am only a few years older than you, our relationship must be one of authority and respect. I am your mentor, your guide, your trainer. You must listen to me with the utmost attention, and do what I say without question."

"Sounds a lot like a dad," said Brittany with a grimace. "I already have one of those, Artie."

"Ahem, it's Arthos, Ms. Pi-"

"And that one weekend at the motel I even had a Daddy," Brittany interrupted. Whatever Arthos was to say got choked off by a coughing fit. Brittany didn't notice; she bit her lip in remembrance and said, "And a Mommy. Mmm…that was a good weekend."

"Brittany!" Arthos squeaked, even more flustered. He sighed and took off his glasses, cleaning them vigorously. "If you are quite finished, perhaps we could talk about something other than kinky sex? Like the fact that I've just revealed to you the existence of demons and, especially, vampires? Hmm? What have you to say about that?"

Brittany shrugged, seemingly not fazed.

Arthos frowned. Tears, screaming, fear, projectile vomiting, fainting…these were the reactions he had been prepared for at the Watcher's Academy. Those were his expectations upon graduation, and his limited experience in the field had borne them out. He had no idea what to do with casual acceptance. He was about to interrogate further when Brittany expanded her answer.

"I guess I always kind of believed in magic and stuff, so this isn't that surprising to me. And I have superpowers now, apparently, which I've always wanted. And being a Slayer sounds a lot cooler than being a cheerleader. So…when do we start?"

2.

They began training that day at the warehouse where Arthos made his home. Brittany caught on immediately. Even before becoming the Slayer, her body had been at peak physical condition due to cheerleading, dancing, and gymnastics. With her experience leading and learning choreography, she was able to pick up complicated fighting styles and weaponry almost effortlessly. Arthos was amazed. His former Slayer had not been ready for the field for nearly three years…Brittany was ready in barely three weeks.

Brittany was lounging on the steps of her high school nearly thirty minutes after the bell had rung, chewing her gum loudly. She was waiting for Artie, who had informed her the night before that today she would slay her first vampire. She was extremely excited. The prior three weeks had been the most amazing of her entire life. She seriously dug having superpowers, and if she thought she loved dancing it was nothing compared to how much she was enjoying fighting.

A strange, tingling feeling suddenly enveloped Brittany's body. She whipped her head up and glanced around. This was what Artie had described when explaining what she should feel when sensing a vampire. She continued scanning around her, confused. It was the middle of the afternoon, not a cloud in the sky…how on earth could there be a vampire nearby?

But then she spotted a black van parked across the street under a huge, overhanging tree. In the shadows of the van and the tree lurked a petite, dark-featured woman. The lurker was staring intensely in her direction. When Brittany spotted the woman, the prickling along her skin intensified. Could this be a test arranged by Artie? Was this the vampire she was supposed to kill? Should she just run over there and stake the creature in broad daylight? Oh God, did she even have a stake with her?

She took a calming breath, and then jumped to her feet. Seeing this action, the woman across the street jerked in surprise and immediately disappeared behind the van. Brittany was just about to chase after her when a voice called out, "Brittany!"

Startled, Brittany whirled around and found Artie at the bottom of the steps waving her towards him. Confused, she glanced back across the street. The van was gone.

"Brittany, come on. There are a few things I want to go over before you begin your first patrol."

Brittany sighed and went down to him.

"She saw me!"

"Well, she does have eyes."

"Not funny, Jacob! I thought she wasn't supposed to know about me yet?"

"What does she know, Santana? She knows she saw some chick staring at her like a perv. She's probably already forgotten about you."

"She knew I was a vampire, I could tell! Why are you so calm about this? You spent an hour yesterday telling me about my secret mission of secrecy from the secret Powers that had to be secret. You said secret about fifteen hundred times, I swear."

"So she knew you're a vampire. You're the one that got away, babe. Don't worry about it."

"But-"

"Don't worry about it! We're out of here tomorrow, anyway. The Powers that Be have let me in on a little secret: her future is not in L.A. She has a lot to prepare for before you two meet up again. So do we, in fact: we gotta get you weaned off the rat-juice, set you up in some clothes that aren't borrowed from me, set up a basement apartment for you, maybe catch you up on some of the last thirty years of culture, music, movies, history, etc etc."

"I. Don't. Drink. Rat."

"Yeah, for three days and counting, partner. Congrats, by the way. One day at a time."

"You're so annoying."

"Aw, damn, are you saying don't like me? And here I thought we were going to be BFFs."

Later that night, Brittany the Vampire Slayer was finally patrolling a cemetery for vampires. Her heart raced in excitement. She was officially a working super-hero now! She couldn't help the grin the exploded on her face, nor could she help speeding up to a run and executing a flying kick. She landed and rolled into a defensive position, then scanned around her.

Nothing. She frowned. She was still excited, but growing less so every second. She had been out for nearly an hour with not even the slightest hint of the supernatural. And now she had to entertain herself with fake kicks. Hmph.

She rolled her eyes and stood up, choosing a new direction and starting off again. She hummed and sang to herself to keep entertained, every once in awhile executing a combat or dance move. After a few minutes, the tingling sensation she had felt earlier suddenly returned. Vampire! She stopped dead in her tracks, glancing around furtively.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw again the woman from outside her school. She tightened her grip on the stake in her hand, but began singing and humming again. She started walking; trying to convince the vampire watching her that she hadn't been spotted. Brittany obliquely made her way closer to the vampire's position, and then past it, smiling in satisfaction as she felt and heard the vampire follow behind her.

At the opportune moment, after Brittany turned a corner and disappeared behind a mausoleum, Brittany grabbed onto one of the attached statues and swung into a hidden, elevated place. She watched silently as the Latina vampire turned the corner and glanced around suspiciously. Hesitantly she continued in the direction she believed Brittany had gone. Once under her, Brittany leaped onto the vampire, eager for her first kill. She tackled the vampire and pinned her, face up, on the ground, straddling her waist.

"Die, Vampire scum!" She yelled, raising the stake above her and baring her teeth. Just as she was about to slam the stake down into the beast's heart, it cried out.

"Brittany, wait!"

Brittany froze. All the lectures Artie had given her about keeping her identity secret flashed through her mind. Fear surged through her, then anger. With her free hand she grabbed the woman by the collar, dragging her closer to Brittany's face and growling, "How do you know my name? How did you find out already? Who are you? If you tell me quickly, I'll kill you quickly."

The vampire winced and muttered, "Jacob is going to flip."

"What?" Asked Brittany, shaking the vampire.

"Never mind," the other woman answered. "My name's Santana-"

"I don't care about your name, Demon. I care about how you know mine!"

"I'm…I'm not…"

"What? Not a demon? I can tell that you are, so don't even begin that sentence."

"I'm not like the others," Santana bit out. "I'm not- I don't kill people. I have a…soul."

"Vampires don't have souls," Brittany said immediately, remembering everything Artie had told her.

"Exactly," Santana responded, lifting an eyebrow.

Brittany cocked her head in contemplation. Already she was lowering her stake. "So…you're like a good vampire?"

"Yes," said Santana, gasping in relief.

Brittany released Santana and pocketed her stake. "That make sense," Brittany said. "You're really pretty."

If Santana could have, she would have blushed. She had been immediately taken with the cheerleader upon seeing her. Santana didn't think she had ever seen a more beautiful girl. She represented to Santana everything that was good and pure in the world, and the hope of a future for herself. The idea that this vibrant, beautiful girl found her pretty meant more to her than she could express.

"Thanks," Santana said, looking down to keep her adoration from shining through.

"That still doesn't explain how you know my name, though…"

"Oh," Santana said, frowning. "Well, a few days ago I met-"

She was cut off when Brittany continued her thought, "Have you been like watching me or something?"

"No," Santana exclaimed quickly. Then she paused, a frown coming upon her face. She actually had kind of been stalking her, to be honest.

Brittany smirked down at the flustered vampire between her legs. She raised an eyebrow and said, "Mmm…that's pretty kinky, Ms. Santana, Vampire with a Soul. Pretty damn kinky…"

A few hours later Brittany returned to the warehouse Artie used as a HQ and a home, humming happily.

Artie raised his gaze from the tome he had been studying for the past several hours, relief flooding through him at the sight of a happy and whole Slayer returning home. "Ah, Brittany," he said, setting aside his text. "Wonderful. Did you encounter any vampires during your patrol?"

"Yup," Brittany said, hopping onto the arm of a sofa.

"And?"

Brittany grinned brightly and chirped, "I had sex with her!"

Artie stared at Brittany, gape-mouthed and wide eyed. "That…was the wrong response, I'm afraid."

Brittany giggled and rolled her eyes. "She wasn't a normal vampire, silly. She's a good vampire!"

"There's no such thing, Brittany."

The new Slayer shrugged. "She has a soul. She said so."

"And you just took this creature at her word?"

Brittany huffed in annoyance and said, "I could just tell, alright? She definitely wasn't evil. Besides…nobody that hot can be all that bad. And there are definite advantages to not having to breath, let me tell you."

Many things happened after that. Brittany met up with Santana one more time and was crestfallen to learn that she was leaving. But her sadness was soon forgotten when the ancient vampire Lothos made his presence known and began churning out minions at an alarming pace. She met a slightly older guy named Mike who she hit it off with and who joined her in her fight against Lothos. Then Artie got killed, some of her friends got killed, and she killed Lothos and about a hundred other vampires. She had to burn down her school's gym to get them all, which got her kicked out and required that Mike flee town and arson charges. With Lothos dead and with Artie dead, Brittany figured her time as Slayer was done. Her parents got divorced, and her mom decided to leave L.A. to find somewhere nice to take her into their school system. After a few weeks of searching, she finally found one that she liked: Sunnydale.

To Be Continued…

A/N2: This is just the beginning of what I plan on being an epic project! I wanted to get this written and posted as quickly as possible, to stake my claim on the fill, but I don't know exactly when the next part will be up. I'll try not to take ages, but with a project this big (theoretically covering at least three seasons) I'm planning on taking it slow. So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that you're intrigued about the future. Next chapter will be when I seriously begin to sink my teeth into the prompt. Santana will reappear, the Scoobies will be introduced, and you'll find out who's going to be in the Giles role, as well as everyone else.