Fate/Stay Night belongs to Type-Moon and Nasu Kinoko.

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha belongs to Seven Arcs.

This story is adapted from the original bonus manga by Tsuzuki Maki and Shindou Takuya.

Not making any money out of this.

Thanks to Shadow Crystal Mage for his collaboration on the original Unequally segment.

Unequally What If? Fate/Stay Night X Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha.

The Saber. The Archer. The Lancer. The Rider. The Caster. The Berserker. The Assassin. These are the seven warrior classes of Servants who would do battle for the Holy Grail, the blessed cup said to be able to grant its possessor any wish. Along with them, seven chosen Magi known as 'Masters' would fight over the rights to hold the Grail, battling together as summoners and summoned. However, in the last Holy Grail War, something unexpected happened...

"Oneesama, for the last time, please, before you do anything you'll regret! Are you sure about this?"

"The new Grail War is all upon us. The end times are coming, Sakura," the pigtailed young woman in the short black skirt and the tight red sweater spoke sternly, her green eyes shining sharply. "The omens are clear! Twilight had a movie run! Simon Cowell really left American Idol! They finally released that movie based on the 4th Light Novel in that series by Tanigawa Nagaru! There is no escape. When the World of Magic comes crashing down, it'll drag its mortal sibling with itself. The only thing any of us can do is to stand and fight. And for that, I'll need a strong Servant, the best of them all. Only through our victory and mastery over the Holy Grail, will we manage to turn the tides in time."

The younger, bustier girl behind her sighed with resignation. "Whatever you say, Oneesama. Though…"

"What now?"

"Do we have to do this in the living room? We might break the TV!"

"Oh, for pity's sake…!"

The next several minutes were spent constructively moving the TV a safe distance away. Their dormitory consisted of a single small building only for the two of them. Such were the advantages of coming from such a prestigious, powerful family. No one would disturb the ritual. Tohsaka Rin took her place in the center of the large circle drawn on the floor and closed her eyes, extending a fist up and holding an open book at her other hand, despite the fact she recited the lines from memory.

"Let thy body rest under my dominion, let my Fate rest in thy blade. If thou submittest to the call of the Holy Grail and if thou wilt obey this mind, this reason, then thou shalt respond."

Sakura stared, aghast and yet prey to a morbid, wide-eyed fascination, at how the marks appeared on the back of her older sister's closed right fist. Rin's skirt fluttered up as the air around them grew heavier, smelling slightly of gas, and the circle beneath her began to faintly glow in scarlet. She actually was doing it!

"I make my oath here. I am that person who is to become the virtue of all Heavens. I am that person who is covered with the evil of all Hades. Thou seven heavens, clad in a trinity of words, come past thy restraining rings, and be thou the hands that protect the balance-!"

The red haze grew almost blinding as Rin tightened the fist up and squeezing the sharp gem in her palm, a single drop of blood falling from her hand, touching the circle and making it burn to life, its blinding light engulfing Rin for a second, forcing Sakura to step back.

And then their roof exploded with an earth shaking boom.

As Sakura regained her sight, she saw her sister sitting flat on her butt, her hair a mess, a few steps away, staring at the column of dark pinkish smoke right under the hole at their roof, and the two small figures standing on the middle of said smoke.

They were girls, approximately ten years old each. One of them, wearing a long white dress with dark blue trimmings, and her light reddish hair made in long twin tails tied with white ribbons. The other one was a blonde, dressed up in a tight, skimpy black unitard with tall black boots, purple microskirt, and a cape around her shoulders. It hardly was the most fitting attire for someone her age.

"W-What...?" stuttered the girl in white, looking up at Rin with large innocent eyes.

Were those Servants?

Servant: [Magical Girl] x 2.

No, that was impossible! Not only it was impossible for anyone, even one as powerful and magnificent as herself, to summon two Servants at once, but those two girls, with their uniforms so reminiscing of Ilya-chan's, couldn't be anything but rival Magical Girls looking for the Class Cards. Or lost cosplayers. Academy City was chock full of freaks.

"... I need to ask you something..." Rin said, sweat running down her face. "Are you girls... my Servants?"

The petite blonde holding the rather intimidating black scythe that was bigger than herself in her hands looked straight at her and, after several moments of a tense silence, spoke in a low, formal and respectful tone that still was cold enough to chill Sakura and Rin to the core, "Yes."

Rin paled a few shades down, said "I've fucked it up again," then fainted on place like a choked Victorian damsel.

Sakura inhaled as deeply as she could and forced herself to remember things could be worse.

She could have been sent to live with the Matous, after all. Or heaven forbid, the Itoshikis!

And at least they moved the TV…

Emiya Residence, several days after:

Fujimura Taiga palated the meal set before her carefully over several moments, before breaking into a wide smile. "Yes, it's got the right mild taste...!"

Across the table, Magical Girl One and Magical Girl Two smiled back, as Sakura sat aside, more relaxed now, brushing a casual bang of her own hair back. Ilya sat at a distance with a grouchy expression.

Meanwhile, at the backyard, Rin stood with her arms folded, facing away from Shirou and Saber. "It seems like from now on," she explained, clearly none too happy, "in order to fight in the Holy Grail War, you'll end up summoning Magical Girls from everywhere out there..."

"So, it's like a Magical Battle Arena?" Shirou wondered aloud.

"A Magical Girl is something like this, right?!" Rin snorted, abruptly turning around to show them a large poster of Kaleido Prisma Ilya, Card Captor Sakura, Kukuri the Witch, Shidou Hikaru and, for some reason, a random Gadget Drone Type-1, posing together. "It's a girl's dream of suddenly transforming into something magical while naked, under soft smooth relaxing music, and surrounded by caressing sparkles and bubbles, teasing her delicate nether regions and chest..."

"Ummm..." Shirou hummed, awkwardly rubbing his legs together.

Saber only nodded firmly, eyes closed, fist on chin.

"Their powers are not comparable to those of the other Servants!" Rin protested, grabbing Shirou by the shoulders and shaking him. "How are they supposed to fight against them?! Is it even possible? Seriously!"

"Even if you say so, what do you excpect me to do about it...?" Shirou said as his head was flung back and forth.

"Let me have Saber instead!" Rin demanded. "It's not like she has a chance either, with you as her Master, but together, she and I would have this in the bag!"

"Praetor, Rin-sama..." Saber calmly said, walking away towards the house, "May I confirm the true powers of these maidens?"

"Huh?" Rin babbled, finally stopping shaking the poor redhaired boy.

"Raging Heart, GO!" Magical Girl One said, deploying her staff.

"Yes, Master," it said.

"Bardiche," Magical Girl Two quietly said, coming down from above as she swung her scythe.

Saber stood her ground, now clad in the usual short red dress (with a nice crotch view) she favored for battle, waiting for them with her long, oddly curved red and black blade. She smiled and challenged, "Yes, come forth, and do not even try to hold back! That would be insulting your Emperor...!"

As the backyard was rattled by the ensuing explosions and battle screams, Shirou turned to Rin. "Sooo... Aren't those girls strong enough for you, Tohsaka?"

"Well... Nowadays, Magical Girls seem to be more radical than they used to be..." Rin sweatdropped.

Ilya tossed her hands up and walked back inside. "That's it, I'm quitting."

At the same time, in a place where the sea is always churning and the sky is red...

The very, very tall and well muscled man stared down at the ferret at his feet. He had deeply tanned skin and white hair, although he still seemed to be young otherwise. He also wore black pants and shirt, with a long red badass overcoat hanging from his torso. With his arms folded in a way that exhuded confidence and presence, he asked, "So, were you the one who summoned me?"

Yuuno Scrya shook his head desperately.

Will Archer start using his unlimited arsenal...?

The End (?)!