[So, once again, I have become ecstatic because I actually accomplished writing something! Part of the reason it was successful was because it was like midnight when I started it, and 2 in the morning when I finished it. I'm known to write better when it's late, so I'm going to have to try it more often. Surprisingly, I also hand wrote the entire first draft, which rarely ever happens with me.
This is a Malec fanfic, and my first one at that. I apologize if there is any OOC-ness and inaccuracies. I couldn't remember everything, since it's been a long time since I read my last Mortal Instruments book, and I assumed a couple of things just based on both Alec and Magnus's family heritage. You'll see what I mean. And also, I don't have a clue when this was supposed to take place, and I left what happened at the beginning very vague.
The inspiration from this came from the song "Higher Than Heaven" by James Durbin. I didn't take many of the lyrics from it, but the title and the line(s) that have the title in it struck me while I was in the car yesterday, and I just kind of chased this rabbit until it was done. I'm proud of myself.
I do not own anything about this! Enjoy!]
"Magnus," Alec Lightwood breathed as he caught a glimpse of his boyfriend—laying amongst all of the rubble, but surprisingly unharmed—so many emotions overwhelming him all at once. The strongest was a mixture of relief and pure rage. After all, he wouldn't have nearly been killed if he hadn't been attempting something so reckless. And, if he hadn't been attempting something reckless… well, Alec wouldn't be fighting the urge to hug him to death, literally.
"What were you thinking?" he demanded, making his way over and shoving in between Jace and Isabelle, reaching out for the warlock's hand. He realized his voice was an octave too high—and very frantic—but he didn't really care. He was too overwhelmed to care.
Thankfully, Jace and Izzy realized now was not the time to cluster around the couple, so they quickly stepped away to check on Clary, who had part of a roof cave down on top of her. She appeared to only have some scrapes—which explained why Jace wasn't next to her—but she was still being examined by Luke. It gave Alec and Magnus a chance to be somewhat alone.
At Alec's tone, the warlock only looked at him, his eyes scanning his boyfriend's face, before responding, "I was only trying out a spell that—although I have never tested it before—would surely work. And look!" he added, gesturing around the room, which was a disaster, but was in fact demon-free. "It really did work!"
"But you didn't know that it would!" Alec hissed, squeezing Magnus's hand with a force that made the High Warlock wince. "And look what it did! It caused the roof to cave in, and it nearly killed you and Clary!"
"It was nowhere close to actually—"
"You don't know that!" the Shadowhunter nearly shouted.
Finally becoming concerned, Magnus tried to soothe his angered partner, telling him, "Alexander, you need to calm down." His attempts instead provoked Alec further, causing him to swing his arms outwards and release his frustration in a loud shriek as he stormed out of the room.
For a moment, all was silent. When the silence broke, it was because of Jace, who felt the need to comment, "Wow, that is the closest I've ever heard anyone come to imitating a pterodactyl."
Clary promptly smacked him in the arm.
"Hey, baby," Magnus said once he had located his boyfriend, who had chosen an abandoned balcony as his location for a proper sulking.
And he was most certainly sulking. Based on the silent treatment Magnus was now receiving, Alec's maturity level seemed to have reached that of a tween. Pouting wasn't the most adult response either, but Magnus wasn't really complaining; he preferred for his Alec to be childish from time to time. It kept him interesting, as well as entertaining.
"Oh, come on, Alexander, quit with the childishness. I'm trying to figure out why you're mad so I can properly apologize."
"You haven't figured it out yet?" Alec asked, his back still to Magnus.
Sighing—now Alec was being overly-dramatic—Magnus shook his. "No, I haven't. There's a lot of things you could be mad at me about. For instance, it could be the fact that I was the cause of Clary's injuries—even though they aren't particularly bad—or that I didn't include you in our plan, or that I borrowed your favorite belt this morning, or—"
Whipping his head around, Alec asked in an irritated tone, "You stole my favorite belt?"
"Borrowed," Magnus corrected, smirking slightly. Alec rolled his eyes, returning to his original position. Releasing another sigh, Magnus added, "That's not the point. The point is, I don't know what precisely has made you angry, and I don't want you acting like a grudge-holding teenage girl for the next couple of weeks because I didn't apologize for something specific. So, what's the matter?"
"You almost died," Alec spat out, his eyes refusing to lock onto the warlock's, choosing instead to keep his gaze on the view before him—which, Magnus would admit, was pretty fucking fantastic (despite it not being as fucking fantastic as himself).
"Why are you so concerned?" Magnus questioned, stepping forward but still keeping space. He didn't want to anger him into fleeing again, but he was curious about Alec's response. "Even though, yes, I am both immortal and mortal, depending on how many people are in the mood to kill me, you and your friends—except the vamp, of course—are only mortal. While it might be hard for Jace and possibly your sister to admit it, all of you need help most of the time if you want to remain alive. It is kind of necessary for me to step in with my experience and powers. And, anyways, why are you still mad about that? We all made it out alive, with barely any damage done to ourselves, and—"
"BUT I NEVER WANT TO LOSE YOU!" Alec finally bellowed, tired of Magnus's babbling.
Confused, Magnus asked, "But, aren't you concerned with your own safety?"
Turning to finally face him, Alec whispered in a raw, vulnerable voice, "Not if it means protecting you."
Silence floated between them, the tense kind that was charged with so many conflicting emotions. Magnus was searching his brain for a satisfactory response, while Alec panicked as he waited.
Finally, Magnus enquired in a soft, cautious voice, "What do you need to protect me from?"
"Hell," Alec answered, not trying any longer to skirt around the point.
Trying to process what his boyfriend was getting at, Magnus said, "So, you're worried about me going to Hell. Alec, you knew that was inevitable, and not only because I am half demon."
"But I don't want it to be inevitable," he declared, his voice trembling. "It is a place of torture, and you don't deserve it. N-not when you're so…" He trailed off, searching for the proper word.
"Loveable?" Magnus supplied, a mischievous smirk returning to his lips.
Annoyed almost to the point of tears, the Shadowhunter stumbled out, "Be serious, Mags. Please."
The smirk immediately disappeared the moment Magnus heard Alec's choked voice, and he quickly strode over, ready to wrap his boyfriend into his arms.
Alec welcomed the hug, leaning into the warlock—his warlock's—touch, and began to tremble uncontrollably. This was a subject that—though Alec had never bothered to verbalize it before—had kept him up at night. He couldn't bear to lose his Magnus to such a fate.
"Oh Alec," he murmured, comforting him by stroking his back and hair. "How long has this been on your mind?"
"A few months," he confessed, physically fighting back tears. Even though he knew Magnus wouldn't mind, he still didn't like the idea of crying in front of him.
"Alec," Magnus breathed, leaning away so he could look him in the eyes. "I wish you would've told me about it sooner. We could've discussed it, kept you from worrying about it."
"How do you bring that sort of thing up?" Alec demanded in a small voice. "How do you talk to the person you love about how he's going to be tortured for eternity over his heritage? Over the fact that his father was a fucking demon?"
"Alexander," Magnus said, his voice firm. Whenever he said his full name—Alexander— like that, Alec found he couldn't help but pay full attention. Maybe it was the tone, or the way the syllables ran together. Either way, Alec was ready to listen.
Placing both of his hands on the back of Alec's neck—cradling it—Magnus truthfully told him, "I don't need any form of Heaven."
"You don't?" Alec asked weakly.
"No," Magnus chuckled, leaning forward to place a kiss on Alec's brow. "Sure, hanging out with angels might be cool. But I don't need that. Not when I have you," he confessed, poking Alec in the heart with a finger. "You give me so much more than I could ever find there. You alone take me higher, so much higher, than Heaven. I don't need to work for or worry about achieving something that won't surpass what I already have."
The battle to keep his tears contained forgotten, Alec began sobbing the moment his lips touched Magnus's. His love only pulled him closer, allowing them to share their turmoil of emotions in this single kiss.
Once Magnus released him, he added, "Besides, I hear there's poker and booze in Hell. That's more my style of party."
Even though he was still weeping, Alec laughed, pulling Magnus back toward him to exchange a much deeper kiss, one to show how Magnus was also better than Heaven for him.
They had only been kissing a moment when a voice suddenly entered the balcony, shouting, "Hey guys, I think it's pterodactyl mating season!"
"What?" Alec asked as he separated from Magnus, more confused than embarrassed about being discovered. He's grown so much, Magnus mused as he let go of the man he loved.
"Nothing you need to know," he responded. "Excuse me for a moment. I need to go strangle a Shadowhunter."
"Hey!" Alec called as he ran after his boyfriend, who was chasing a cackling Jace. "Don't kill him! He's my parabatai!"