You Don't Know Why
By: Ami of Arctic
Miroku and the other InuYasha characters belong to Takahashi Rumiko. This short story is merely an experiment; I've written adventures and romance all my life, and decided to write something out of how much I care about this character, and to explain why he acts in such a way. Miroku, contrary
to popular belief, is not 100% perverted: He does what he does for a
reason. If you do not know why, then read on. If you do ... well ... congrats. You study psychology, I suppose. I sure don't. I have a little thing called logic. Let us begin. It may seem boring in the beginning as it
is old news, but a tribute isn't meant to be fun, now is it?
---
"SIT!" Down again he goes with a startled gurgle, poor InuYasha sent facefirst into the ground by way of his rosary beads. An angry pseudo-miko panted heavily from her blood's overload with adrenaline, evidence from a recent heated argument. Such verbal battles are commonplace among our bunch of saviors: Higurashi Kagome, InuYasha, Sango, Shippou, and myself.
Higurashi Kagome is ... well ... you would not believe me if I told you, but I will try anyway. She is a 15 year-old girl from the year 2001. It sounds completely ridiculous, but it's true. You see, she is in reality the future incarnation of the High Priestess Kikyou, whom has died some 50 years ago. The young lady that now continued to berate InuYasha for his insensitivity toward the elderly in a previous village had come here by way of the Bone-Gobbler's Well, which is located in the InuYasha's Forest. Yep, there was a forest named after him, but I'll get to that in a bit. Kagome first came here with the Shikon no Tama, or "Jewel of Four Souls", inside her body, for it was at first burned with Kikyou's remains. Mistress Centipede had removed it from her body quite forcefully. The glass orb was then shattered into many pieces by way of a sacred arrow and a crow youkai. Currently, we have almost completed the jewel with merely one piece left. We encountered that piece from within one of InuYasha's father's old friends. With Naraku's piece, along with Kohaku's piece, we've all the pieces of the jewel with certainty of where they are located. What we will do with the completed jewel, however, is yet to be decided.
Leaping over to calm Kagome down was a peculiar little ball of fur, whom in turn has his own little story. This kitsune - which means "fox demon" - is merely a kit. His name is Shippou. He got caught up in the battle for the jewel when his father was murdered for his pelt by the two Thunder Brothers. He seeked the jewel to become stronger, and take revenge for his father. We've (not exactly me - for I have not 'shown up' at the time) destroyed the two brothers with the aid of Shippou's late father's Fox Fire. Once the price was repaid, Shippou had decided to join Kagome and InuYasha in the quest for the jewel. Shippou is very handy in keeping Kagome calm, for his childlike disposition can cure any state of rage ... although we have yet to see if his charms will work on InuYasha.
With an unceremonious grunt, InuYasha was freed from the rosary's grip and is able to rise to his feet to snort and think of a good retort to Kagome. InuYasha is of two sets of genes: Youkai and Human. His father, a dog youkai, had fallen in love with and impregnated a human woman, his mother. InuYasha, the half-demon - also called a "hanyou" - is the result. He loved his mother dearly before she died, for she was the one that quenched the fires of hatred from her son's half-brother, Sesshoumaru. Sessoumaru is a full-demon, result of the mating between InuYasha's father and a demoness. It is InuYasha's "dirty blood" that angers Sesshoumaru to the point of trying to kill him, but as of yet there has not been a success. Another reason for such hatred also lies in the weapon, sheathed at the hanyou's side. The Tetsusaiga - able to destroy 100 demons in a single sweep. It also keeps InuYasha's demon blood from poisoning his mind. However, if he lets go of it ... that's a whole different story. Fifty years ago, when the toil over the jewel began, InuYasha had been taken by the High Priestess Kikyou. Kikyou had promised that she would turn him human, and that they would be together for the rest of their lives. They would meet the next day for such an event. The next day ended in two deaths and a betrayal. Naraku, whose past life was spent longing for Kikyou as a gravely-injured thief named Onigumo, had transformed into InuYasha to hunt down Kikyou and send them both into a feeling of bitterness and hate to taint the jewel. His revenge was fulfilled upon turning into Kikyou and chasing InuYasha deep into the forest and to the 'God Tree', where a fatally-injured Kikyou killed the hanyou by sealing him to the tree. The witch Orasue (I believe that is how it is pronounced ... I have only heard the story once.) had brought Kikyou back to life with a portion of Kagome's soul, soil, and burial bones. Now she is on her own side and trying to drag InuYasha to Hell with her! This exchange has brought Kagome heartbreak almost several times. This triangle is currently at a stand-still: InuYasha had chosen Kikyou, no matter how dead she may be. He wishes to go to Hell with her if given the chance. Kagome had chosen to respect his decision, although now and then she does show that she wishes that he'd changed his mind. We - as in myself, Sango, and Shippou - are hoping so, too.
Watching rather dully from the sidelines was a demonslayer, or "taiji- ya". Her name is Sango. She currently wishes to keep her kid brother, Kohaku, safe in her arms. She was called to a castle with her entire village, only to have Kohaku manipulated like a puppet. He slaughtered all ... but Sango. She did not fight him back. When her back was turned, Kohaku had struck. It was then that that sick bastard Naraku's creation allowed Kohaku to free his mind and see what he'd done. The guards of the castle had then killed Kohaku mercilessly, and buried him with Sango. The female taiji-ya, however, could not be killed so easily, and thus dug her way from her grave. Discovered by castle guard, they took her in to mend her wound. Meanwhile, Naraku, disguised as the prince of the castle, poisoned her mind into thinking that InuYasha had been behind the manipulation and killing, along with the deaths of the others in her village. When her wounds were healed, Sango went on after InuYasha. The battle was interrupted by Naraku, or rather a duplicate puppet. Since then, Naraku had sent Kohaku himself into making Sango and he battle to the death. In turn, the shard in Kohaku's back would be tainted. Once before, we've discovered that Naraku doesn't have complete control over his manipulations, for we'd found a brainwashed Kohaku with no malicious intent. We tried to protect him, only to end with Kagura taking the boy back from us, leaving Sango devastated. I still remember it as if it were yesterday. Kirara, a cat demon, rested beside Sango, sleeping quietly.
Myself? My name is Miroku. I am a mere monk, or 'houshi-sama' as Sango prefers to call me. My grandfather was cursed by Naraku with a hole in his right hand. Opening it causes a black hole effect, sucking in everything in its path. Every male in my bloodline 'earns' it (if you can call a hellhole like the kazaana something to earn) when the male above you is sucked in. My father was killed by his kazaana when I was a mere child, and upon that day I earned the hellish void in my palm. If I do not bear an heir to my family, I am doomed to end my bloodline and Naraku will win one of his many mind-manipulating battles. I took it upon myself to find a woman to bear my child and bring my mind at ease when I fight against Naraku. Because of this, Kagome, Sango, and InuYasha call me a pervert. A few months back, I had asked Sango to bear my children once Naraku is gone and dead ... and she said yes. This, although it beings me joy, also brings pain into my heart. I love her dearly, though I will never admit it, but her love for me cannot be until Naraku is out of the picture. If we had come together as one and conceived children, they will only be as cursed as myself once I am sucked into my kazaana ...
My resulting sigh had drawn Sango's attention from the two arguing members of the group. She scooted a bit toward me and canted her head. "They'll never stop, will they?" She asked casually.
"Not until one bites the other's head off like a mantis," was my reply, just as casual.
"Want to make a bet that Kagome will be the one dining?"
"I HEARD THAT!" The rough voice brought us both from our joking reverie. The amber eyes of InuYasha flashed as he stomped toward us, a fist clenched. "INSTEAD OF LAUGHING AT MY DEMISE..."
"Relax, InuYasha," Sango yawned, rolling her eyes. His temper was obviously nothing new, anymore. "I swear, you need to work on your ego."
"Not only that," I added. "But shouldn't we also build a fire if we are to stay here for tonight? The nights have grown colder within the past couple of weeks."
InuYasha begrudgingly nodded, and set off for wood, mumbling to himself. I shook my head in unison with Sango. We were in the middle of a forest, which concluded that we were surrounded by trees. Couldn't the hanyou have taken down a nearby tree instead of stalking off like he did?
Kagome, cooling off as she seated with Shippou, seemed to read our minds. "He just wants to be away from us for a while, I guess. God, he's such a jerk! How many times have I told him to respect the elderly? Then he goes and knocks the poor man out that had let us stay at his house for the night! If he keeps that up, all of Japan will close their doors to us!"
I recollected the night before, when we were still welcome in the ojii-san's home. "Didn't InuYasha claim that he was peeping on you while you bathed?"
Sango blinked, and looked hard into the forest for any signs of red or silver. "I recall him mumbling that before he left for the firewood. Where is he?"
Kagome frowned. "He never told me that the old man was a peeping tom ..."
"He was trying to, until you two started arguing," Shippou stated calmly.
"Then I guess it's all my fault, huh?"
"Don't say that," Shippou laid back, taking hold of his tiny footpaws and staring up at the starry sky. "You were angry over InuYasha harming an old man. However, InuYasha never got to what he was going to say, so it's sort of his fault, too. He didn't kill him, Kagome ... Why don't you go and apologize?"
" ... and see if he ever got that wood. I'm starting to freeze," I said, getting a rough elbow in the side from the taiji-ya.
Kagome rose, and set off after InuYasha. Once she was out of sight, I nodded to Shippou, and he set off to follow. If they were going to argue again, leave it to Shippou to break it up. I felt eyes upon me, and looked to my right, to Sango. "You'd think they were married, the way they scrap."
"Indeed." Sango smiled and hugged her knees to her chest. Sango ... I've told you many times how beautiful you are, but you dismissed them as tricks to feel you up. What good would it do to tell her this now? I had unintentionally left the two of us alone ... and now would have been the right time to do something. Anything. I tried the first thing that came to mind: I was warm enough and could handle the cold, so I gently laid an arm about her shoulders and brought her closer to me. He expected her to stiffen and pull away ... but she did not. She had even jumped the fence by leaning into me.
"It's cold," she'd said. I felt chilly fingertips against my torso. She was touching me.
"Looking for something?" I asked quietly.
She blushed prettily. "You always wear such loose robes. I sometimes wonder what you're like under there ... not like I undress you mentally or anything! I just wonder if you're skinny underneath or something ..."
I decided not to make her feel any more uncomfortable, and nodded knowingly. "I'll have you know that I don't have a hanging gut, nor am I as skinny as a twig."
Silence hung thickly. That was better ... we could just sit here. She snuggled against me and sighed, muttering something about warmth. I held her closer. If it was warmth she needed, warmth she'd get.
"Houshi-sama?"
"Hmm?"
"How long do you think it'll be before they get back?"
"I'm not sure. I don't hear anything, so InuYasha and Kagome are probably off in their own little world."
"At least that tells us they made up. I really hope they aren't doing anything Shippou shouldn't see."
"Well, that depends. What should he see, and what shouldn't he see, Sango?"
"He can see a kiss, can't he?"
I looked to her and nodded. When there lacked sadness, anger, and fear in her heart, her eyes were downright stunning. I found myself glancing down upon her lips, so soft, a pale rosy pink. Her eyes caught that tiny glance of my own to her lips, and donned a newfound sheen. Her expression was unreadable ... until she slowly closed the distance between her lips and my own. Her eyes closed, as did mine, as I marvelled just how soft her lips were to the touch. The first kiss was very brief, but was soon followed by another.
No ... no! I cannot! I'll only break her heart with my death. I will not ... I will not let her love me, or let myself love her, until Naraku is dead. I must ... stop this ...
I could simply let my hand stray to her rear and caress, and it would all be over. Sango's walls would rise again against me ... to prevent this dirty pervert from entering her heart once more. She would deny love for me as I would to her, and prevent her heart from breaking. Beautiful Sango's heart. But could I really end it now? Did I really need to take the easy way out?
I'll ... I'll let myself kiss her ... and allow her to kiss me back ... just this once. I cannot be hooked. I do not wish to hurt her. My arm stayed around her as we kissed, and would remain there, never to let my cursed hand stray southward. I'd be a good boy for now ...
I'm sorry I cannot love you as much as I wish to, Sango ... but you don't
know why, and I cannot tell you why.
FIN
By: Ami of Arctic
Miroku and the other InuYasha characters belong to Takahashi Rumiko. This short story is merely an experiment; I've written adventures and romance all my life, and decided to write something out of how much I care about this character, and to explain why he acts in such a way. Miroku, contrary
to popular belief, is not 100% perverted: He does what he does for a
reason. If you do not know why, then read on. If you do ... well ... congrats. You study psychology, I suppose. I sure don't. I have a little thing called logic. Let us begin. It may seem boring in the beginning as it
is old news, but a tribute isn't meant to be fun, now is it?
---
"SIT!" Down again he goes with a startled gurgle, poor InuYasha sent facefirst into the ground by way of his rosary beads. An angry pseudo-miko panted heavily from her blood's overload with adrenaline, evidence from a recent heated argument. Such verbal battles are commonplace among our bunch of saviors: Higurashi Kagome, InuYasha, Sango, Shippou, and myself.
Higurashi Kagome is ... well ... you would not believe me if I told you, but I will try anyway. She is a 15 year-old girl from the year 2001. It sounds completely ridiculous, but it's true. You see, she is in reality the future incarnation of the High Priestess Kikyou, whom has died some 50 years ago. The young lady that now continued to berate InuYasha for his insensitivity toward the elderly in a previous village had come here by way of the Bone-Gobbler's Well, which is located in the InuYasha's Forest. Yep, there was a forest named after him, but I'll get to that in a bit. Kagome first came here with the Shikon no Tama, or "Jewel of Four Souls", inside her body, for it was at first burned with Kikyou's remains. Mistress Centipede had removed it from her body quite forcefully. The glass orb was then shattered into many pieces by way of a sacred arrow and a crow youkai. Currently, we have almost completed the jewel with merely one piece left. We encountered that piece from within one of InuYasha's father's old friends. With Naraku's piece, along with Kohaku's piece, we've all the pieces of the jewel with certainty of where they are located. What we will do with the completed jewel, however, is yet to be decided.
Leaping over to calm Kagome down was a peculiar little ball of fur, whom in turn has his own little story. This kitsune - which means "fox demon" - is merely a kit. His name is Shippou. He got caught up in the battle for the jewel when his father was murdered for his pelt by the two Thunder Brothers. He seeked the jewel to become stronger, and take revenge for his father. We've (not exactly me - for I have not 'shown up' at the time) destroyed the two brothers with the aid of Shippou's late father's Fox Fire. Once the price was repaid, Shippou had decided to join Kagome and InuYasha in the quest for the jewel. Shippou is very handy in keeping Kagome calm, for his childlike disposition can cure any state of rage ... although we have yet to see if his charms will work on InuYasha.
With an unceremonious grunt, InuYasha was freed from the rosary's grip and is able to rise to his feet to snort and think of a good retort to Kagome. InuYasha is of two sets of genes: Youkai and Human. His father, a dog youkai, had fallen in love with and impregnated a human woman, his mother. InuYasha, the half-demon - also called a "hanyou" - is the result. He loved his mother dearly before she died, for she was the one that quenched the fires of hatred from her son's half-brother, Sesshoumaru. Sessoumaru is a full-demon, result of the mating between InuYasha's father and a demoness. It is InuYasha's "dirty blood" that angers Sesshoumaru to the point of trying to kill him, but as of yet there has not been a success. Another reason for such hatred also lies in the weapon, sheathed at the hanyou's side. The Tetsusaiga - able to destroy 100 demons in a single sweep. It also keeps InuYasha's demon blood from poisoning his mind. However, if he lets go of it ... that's a whole different story. Fifty years ago, when the toil over the jewel began, InuYasha had been taken by the High Priestess Kikyou. Kikyou had promised that she would turn him human, and that they would be together for the rest of their lives. They would meet the next day for such an event. The next day ended in two deaths and a betrayal. Naraku, whose past life was spent longing for Kikyou as a gravely-injured thief named Onigumo, had transformed into InuYasha to hunt down Kikyou and send them both into a feeling of bitterness and hate to taint the jewel. His revenge was fulfilled upon turning into Kikyou and chasing InuYasha deep into the forest and to the 'God Tree', where a fatally-injured Kikyou killed the hanyou by sealing him to the tree. The witch Orasue (I believe that is how it is pronounced ... I have only heard the story once.) had brought Kikyou back to life with a portion of Kagome's soul, soil, and burial bones. Now she is on her own side and trying to drag InuYasha to Hell with her! This exchange has brought Kagome heartbreak almost several times. This triangle is currently at a stand-still: InuYasha had chosen Kikyou, no matter how dead she may be. He wishes to go to Hell with her if given the chance. Kagome had chosen to respect his decision, although now and then she does show that she wishes that he'd changed his mind. We - as in myself, Sango, and Shippou - are hoping so, too.
Watching rather dully from the sidelines was a demonslayer, or "taiji- ya". Her name is Sango. She currently wishes to keep her kid brother, Kohaku, safe in her arms. She was called to a castle with her entire village, only to have Kohaku manipulated like a puppet. He slaughtered all ... but Sango. She did not fight him back. When her back was turned, Kohaku had struck. It was then that that sick bastard Naraku's creation allowed Kohaku to free his mind and see what he'd done. The guards of the castle had then killed Kohaku mercilessly, and buried him with Sango. The female taiji-ya, however, could not be killed so easily, and thus dug her way from her grave. Discovered by castle guard, they took her in to mend her wound. Meanwhile, Naraku, disguised as the prince of the castle, poisoned her mind into thinking that InuYasha had been behind the manipulation and killing, along with the deaths of the others in her village. When her wounds were healed, Sango went on after InuYasha. The battle was interrupted by Naraku, or rather a duplicate puppet. Since then, Naraku had sent Kohaku himself into making Sango and he battle to the death. In turn, the shard in Kohaku's back would be tainted. Once before, we've discovered that Naraku doesn't have complete control over his manipulations, for we'd found a brainwashed Kohaku with no malicious intent. We tried to protect him, only to end with Kagura taking the boy back from us, leaving Sango devastated. I still remember it as if it were yesterday. Kirara, a cat demon, rested beside Sango, sleeping quietly.
Myself? My name is Miroku. I am a mere monk, or 'houshi-sama' as Sango prefers to call me. My grandfather was cursed by Naraku with a hole in his right hand. Opening it causes a black hole effect, sucking in everything in its path. Every male in my bloodline 'earns' it (if you can call a hellhole like the kazaana something to earn) when the male above you is sucked in. My father was killed by his kazaana when I was a mere child, and upon that day I earned the hellish void in my palm. If I do not bear an heir to my family, I am doomed to end my bloodline and Naraku will win one of his many mind-manipulating battles. I took it upon myself to find a woman to bear my child and bring my mind at ease when I fight against Naraku. Because of this, Kagome, Sango, and InuYasha call me a pervert. A few months back, I had asked Sango to bear my children once Naraku is gone and dead ... and she said yes. This, although it beings me joy, also brings pain into my heart. I love her dearly, though I will never admit it, but her love for me cannot be until Naraku is out of the picture. If we had come together as one and conceived children, they will only be as cursed as myself once I am sucked into my kazaana ...
My resulting sigh had drawn Sango's attention from the two arguing members of the group. She scooted a bit toward me and canted her head. "They'll never stop, will they?" She asked casually.
"Not until one bites the other's head off like a mantis," was my reply, just as casual.
"Want to make a bet that Kagome will be the one dining?"
"I HEARD THAT!" The rough voice brought us both from our joking reverie. The amber eyes of InuYasha flashed as he stomped toward us, a fist clenched. "INSTEAD OF LAUGHING AT MY DEMISE..."
"Relax, InuYasha," Sango yawned, rolling her eyes. His temper was obviously nothing new, anymore. "I swear, you need to work on your ego."
"Not only that," I added. "But shouldn't we also build a fire if we are to stay here for tonight? The nights have grown colder within the past couple of weeks."
InuYasha begrudgingly nodded, and set off for wood, mumbling to himself. I shook my head in unison with Sango. We were in the middle of a forest, which concluded that we were surrounded by trees. Couldn't the hanyou have taken down a nearby tree instead of stalking off like he did?
Kagome, cooling off as she seated with Shippou, seemed to read our minds. "He just wants to be away from us for a while, I guess. God, he's such a jerk! How many times have I told him to respect the elderly? Then he goes and knocks the poor man out that had let us stay at his house for the night! If he keeps that up, all of Japan will close their doors to us!"
I recollected the night before, when we were still welcome in the ojii-san's home. "Didn't InuYasha claim that he was peeping on you while you bathed?"
Sango blinked, and looked hard into the forest for any signs of red or silver. "I recall him mumbling that before he left for the firewood. Where is he?"
Kagome frowned. "He never told me that the old man was a peeping tom ..."
"He was trying to, until you two started arguing," Shippou stated calmly.
"Then I guess it's all my fault, huh?"
"Don't say that," Shippou laid back, taking hold of his tiny footpaws and staring up at the starry sky. "You were angry over InuYasha harming an old man. However, InuYasha never got to what he was going to say, so it's sort of his fault, too. He didn't kill him, Kagome ... Why don't you go and apologize?"
" ... and see if he ever got that wood. I'm starting to freeze," I said, getting a rough elbow in the side from the taiji-ya.
Kagome rose, and set off after InuYasha. Once she was out of sight, I nodded to Shippou, and he set off to follow. If they were going to argue again, leave it to Shippou to break it up. I felt eyes upon me, and looked to my right, to Sango. "You'd think they were married, the way they scrap."
"Indeed." Sango smiled and hugged her knees to her chest. Sango ... I've told you many times how beautiful you are, but you dismissed them as tricks to feel you up. What good would it do to tell her this now? I had unintentionally left the two of us alone ... and now would have been the right time to do something. Anything. I tried the first thing that came to mind: I was warm enough and could handle the cold, so I gently laid an arm about her shoulders and brought her closer to me. He expected her to stiffen and pull away ... but she did not. She had even jumped the fence by leaning into me.
"It's cold," she'd said. I felt chilly fingertips against my torso. She was touching me.
"Looking for something?" I asked quietly.
She blushed prettily. "You always wear such loose robes. I sometimes wonder what you're like under there ... not like I undress you mentally or anything! I just wonder if you're skinny underneath or something ..."
I decided not to make her feel any more uncomfortable, and nodded knowingly. "I'll have you know that I don't have a hanging gut, nor am I as skinny as a twig."
Silence hung thickly. That was better ... we could just sit here. She snuggled against me and sighed, muttering something about warmth. I held her closer. If it was warmth she needed, warmth she'd get.
"Houshi-sama?"
"Hmm?"
"How long do you think it'll be before they get back?"
"I'm not sure. I don't hear anything, so InuYasha and Kagome are probably off in their own little world."
"At least that tells us they made up. I really hope they aren't doing anything Shippou shouldn't see."
"Well, that depends. What should he see, and what shouldn't he see, Sango?"
"He can see a kiss, can't he?"
I looked to her and nodded. When there lacked sadness, anger, and fear in her heart, her eyes were downright stunning. I found myself glancing down upon her lips, so soft, a pale rosy pink. Her eyes caught that tiny glance of my own to her lips, and donned a newfound sheen. Her expression was unreadable ... until she slowly closed the distance between her lips and my own. Her eyes closed, as did mine, as I marvelled just how soft her lips were to the touch. The first kiss was very brief, but was soon followed by another.
No ... no! I cannot! I'll only break her heart with my death. I will not ... I will not let her love me, or let myself love her, until Naraku is dead. I must ... stop this ...
I could simply let my hand stray to her rear and caress, and it would all be over. Sango's walls would rise again against me ... to prevent this dirty pervert from entering her heart once more. She would deny love for me as I would to her, and prevent her heart from breaking. Beautiful Sango's heart. But could I really end it now? Did I really need to take the easy way out?
I'll ... I'll let myself kiss her ... and allow her to kiss me back ... just this once. I cannot be hooked. I do not wish to hurt her. My arm stayed around her as we kissed, and would remain there, never to let my cursed hand stray southward. I'd be a good boy for now ...
I'm sorry I cannot love you as much as I wish to, Sango ... but you don't
know why, and I cannot tell you why.
FIN