a/n: Ah! Sam-chan, making me do things I don't want to!
So, furniture shopping the other day when who else but Sasuke and Gaara show up on either side of me, as I'm examining a rather sexy looking refrigerator, and they tell me about their day. Made the mistake of reliving this to my best friend and now I'm reluctantly publishing it. I don't know if you'll like it, it written fairly out of my usual style (too lazy to care that much) so hope you enjoy (by the way I have no idea where this story is going or how it will end) and please review.
FYI- Sasuke-26 (executive at Uchiha Industries)
Naruto-26(author of world famous ninja manga)
Gaara-26(lawyer)
Neji-26(doctor) yay!! Everyone's successful and rich.
Disclaimer: Don't own the Blonde one.
This is going to be difficult.
Chapter 1- the bad friend
Naruto stood on the bustling street corner waiting for Sasuke to show up for their lunch date-not that type of date! It was a friendly lunch date- though if the Uchiha didn't turn up soon it might turn into a violent one. Naruto groaned exasperatedly as he looked about for any heads of ebony, duck butt resembling, hair and groaned again when he didn't find one. The blonde one muttered about bastards, ramen and punching the shit out of his best friend as he dialed Sasuke's number on his cell phone.
"Sasuke!" he shouted as the man answered, actually Sasuke didn't exactly answer, Naruto knew he was there when the ringing sound stopped for an unusually long time, Why does he always do that!?
"Yes." a tenor voice said patiently into his ear.
"Where the hell are you?" he shouted again.
"Right behind you." And the blonde one jumped when he not only heard Sasuke whisper his answer into his ear but felt the taller man's slender body fit snuggly behind him in ways he didn't want to experience (at least not in public!).
"Ahh!" Naruto stumbled away from the smirking Uchiha who closed his cell phone with a satisfied expression.
"Don't do that!" he growled, then his body doubled over and he looked lethargic, "And c'mon, let's eat." he said but Sasuke didn't move. Naruto wrinkled his brow, "Sas-u-ke." he pronounced the name agitatedly, the Uchiha was gazing behind the starving blonde one, his hand in the pockets of his knee length, black coat.
"Isn't that Gaara?" he asked and Naruto turned to see, then his eyes widened.
"Yeah, it is."
The two guys advanced on their childhood friend and Naruto jumped into the red head's line of vision with a huge grin.
"Hey Sabaku!" he greeted him and he watched as the other man's black bordered, teal eyes slowly rose to look at him, Gaara's as stoic as usual, he thought as his friend's face held the same unreadable expression it had when he was just gazing aimlessly at the floor.
"Hey Naruto." If the blonde one didn't know Gaara better he would of said that the other man wasn't happy to see him. Gaara nodded at his other friend who stood next to Naruto, "Sasuke." he said and the Uchiha nodded back. Oh such a touching reunion! All the emotions made Naruto want to cry, jeez, when did I end up with such depressing friends?
"What are you doing here?" Naruto asked the red head.
"Waiting for my boyfriend, we're supposed to pick out new furniture together."
"WHAT!!?" the blonde one exclaimed, "You have a new boyfriend? Since when?"
"Hmm, since eight months ago."
Naruto's eyes widened, "Why didn't you tell me."
"I couldn't reach you; you never gave me your new phone number."
Naruto scratched his head and scowled as he remembered, "Oh, right."
"You said that you would call me and give it to me but you never did." Gaara continued in the same impassive drawl.
Naruto sank, "Oh, right."
Sasuke nodded, "Yeah, I remember I offered Gaara the number myself but he refused to take it, he said he would wait for you to call. Sorry Gaara, I should have known that he would forget."
Do they really have to make it sound like that? Naruto thought as he realized that it was true, he really hadn't spoken to Gaara in eight months. Time slips by so fast…
He tried to change the subject, "So why are you and your boyfriend picking out furniture together?" he asked.
"They moved in together a week ago." Sasuke answered and Naruto looked at him.
"How do you know that?"
Sasuke watched him with slightly disbelieving eyes, "I do try to keep in touch with my friends, without a doubt you are the love of my life Naruto, but I have to give the others some attention too, least they become jealous." Naruto sweatdropped, Did he have to make it sound like that?-and I hate it when he calls me the love of his life out in public!
Naruto looked up at Gaara with sparkling, pleading eyes and the cold seeming man twitched a none existent eyebrow as pictures of puppies floated in his head-yeah, puppies, and they weren't even on fire or anything- cute puppies in Gaara's thoughts.
"Don't worry. I forgive you, I'm used to it." Gaara told him and Naruto grinned then jumped when he remembered something.
"And congratulations on moving in with your boyfriend." he told him, "I'm really happy for you Gaara, he must be a really great gu-" The blonde one stopped in his tracks as a faint whiff of lilacs caressed his nose and his view of Gaara was momentarily blinded by a wave of sable locks. Naruto watched as the most beautiful creature locked lips with his detached friend, his brunette hair fell, full and healthy, in ways that he only saw in shampoo commercials, past his plump, very noticeable (especially in those fitted khaki pants) ass. From the line of visible, slender waist, Naruto could tell that his skin was creamy smooth in touch and complexion, and his tall form was exaggerated by the lily white cotton, long sleeved, turtle neck he wore. When the kiss was finished and the angel opened his eyes to reveal their foggy lithium color, Naruto realized that he was no longer breathing (he didn't even know that it was possible to forget to do that!).
"Naruto, this is my boyfriend Neji. Neji, this is my friend Naruto." Gaara said and the long haired seraph smiled softly and put his hand out for the blond one to shake but Naruto was too busy ogling the beauty before him to realize this. Sasuke cleared his throat and when this still didn't wake his friend up he nudged Naruto with his shoulder. The blonde one startled, "Huh?!" was all he could manage and Neji just chuckled, resonate, slightly baritone voice, straight, sensual lips.
"I'm Neji." he repeated Gaara's introduction and Naruto finally took his hand after giving himself an awakening mental slap.
"Naruto." he said trying to sound normal though his smile hesitated for a second.
"I didn't know that Gaara had any friends besides Sasuke." Neji told him and Naruto's inner chibi faulted and crouched in its corner of shame, Sasuke meet Neji already too! Kami, I'm the worst.
"This is great." Neji continued, "Now there'll be more people, other than family, at the house warming party."
"You're having a house warming party?" Naruto asked.
"Hn, right." Sasuke suddenly spoke and he turned to Naruto and said straight faced, "Gaara and his new boyfriend are having a party to celebrate the new apartment they purchased together this weekend and your invited. You don't have to bring anything, presents won't be accepted, dress casual." and as he ended Naruto glared at him and Sasuke cocked an eyebrow, "You wouldn't have had to depend on me if you'd just given Gaara your num-"
"Shut up!"
"Weren't you two going to lunch?" Gaara asked suddenly and Naruto felt his empty yearning stomach contract and grumble.
"Oh yeah, Naruto you must be starving." Sasuke said looking apologetic like it was his fault they were distracted.
"Not really." Naruto told them and the Uchiha and Sabaku watched him suspiciously.
"Err, Sasuke and I can stick around a bit longer and help you and Neji pick out your furniture."
"We can?" Sasuke asked, he was also kind of starving.
"Yes, we can." Naruto told him more sternly and Neji smiled again.
"Great."
Two hours later
Naruto felt like he might swoon from starvation as he watched Neji kissing his red headed friend again, Gaara's pale fingers were griped around Neji's exposed hips, pulling their fronts together and Naruto couldn't help but wish… The couple's tongues would at times slip out of the lock as they battled hungrily in the unseen caverns of their joint mouths, burrowing deeper into each other, Naruto felt like he couldn't take it any more when a soft moan escaped Neji and he did the first thing that came to mind.
AHHH!!" he shouted and everyone: Gaara, Neji, Sasuke, innocent passers-by, urinating dog, yawning cat on near-by wall- stopped to look at him and Naruto paled.
"Err-look at that-the thing-there-" he muttered under his breath and Sasuke sweatdropped, he couldn't think of anything better to say?
"Well, I'll see you at home hon." Neji told his boyfriend and he pecked him on the lips "Nice meeting you Naruto, bye Sasuke, see you two at the party." he told them before he turned and walked away.
Naruto's eyes immediately tracked his progress and the blonde one fell into his head again only to be yanked back out when Gaara walked into him, their shoulders hitting each other, Gaara may be lithe but he's strong, he almost knocked Naruto over, but he kept going.
"Stop staring at my boyfriend's ass Naruto." he said casually, "And where are we eating?"
"Ichiraku's." Sasuke said drearily.
"Hm." Gaara replied as they walked off and Naruto knew that that was the closest Gaara would ever get to a groan.
When they got to the ramen shop Naruto was the first in through the door.
"ONE MISO PORK RAMEN PLEASE!!!" was his last words before he collapsed into a chair, his head falling onto the table so he resembled death.
As Sasuke entered the shop he glanced quickly at Gaara in a very uncharacteristically nervous way and then, after releasing a soft squeak, in the lazy blink of Gaara's eye the Uchiha was in the seat next to Naruto and glaring at the red head territorially. Gaara sweatdropped before he took the seat opposite them. I see Sasuke's still as Naru-posessive as ever, I thought the psychologist was making progress with him. At least he doesn't stand over Naruto and watch him while he sleeps at night anymore…
Naruto woke up to see Sasuke gazing at him almost the same way he does when the raven slips into his bedroom in the middle of the night and watches him sleep. But he forgot to be spooked out when he saw the waitress coming with his ramen.
The blonde one was blushing with satisfaction by the time he had finished his third bowl.
"If you were that hungry why didn't you just leave when we had the chance?" Sasuke asked him.
"We had to help Neji and Gaara choose the best brands." he answered and both his friends watched him silently, blank expressions never said so much, Naruto sometimes wonders if he's telepathic.
"What?" he asked.
"You're in love with my boyfriend." Gaara told him simply and the blonde one's eyes widened, "How could you say that!?"
"Hm, it's true, I have overwhelming evidence." he told his shocked friend and Sasuke became interested.
"Given the fact that Naruto was having blatant eye sex with Neji, what makes you assert that he's in love with your boyfriend and not simply crushing on him or lusting? Sasuke asked him folding his arms. Naruto looked between them thinking that they looked like they were both at work, Sasuke at the board and Gaara in a court room.
Gaara answered impassively, "Isn't it true that every boyfriend I have ever had, Naruto has stolen from me?" he asked Sasuke and Naruto blushed as excuses popped into his head, but he had no chance to voice them.
"Yes." Sasuke nodded.
"The most recent of course being Lee, by the way Naruto how is Lee?"
The blonde one avoided Gaara's eyes as he scratched he head, "Um, we-we broke up." Gaara watched him silently for possibly three second then turned to Sasuke.
"My hypothesis has just been further proven." he told the Uchiha.
"I'm listening." Sasuke said.
"For the past thirteen years, every boyfriend I have ever had, from the first till the second-to-last, and possibly current, has ended up in Naruto's arms and he's done it right in front of me." Naruto felt himself shrinking, "I have also observed a cycling structure to predict when it occurs: stage 1-Naruto takes boyfriend, they usually leave me with the excuse of being madly in love with Naruto and the trivial lines of 'it's me not you' or 'don't get me wrong, you're a really nice guy, and I care about you but-'. Stage 2- he and said boyfriend disappear and fall out of contact for an uncertain space of time, stage 3- I eventually find a new boyfriend, stage 4- in which Naruto suddenly appears again with news that his relationship with my last boyfriend has been dissolved and consequently it goes back to stage 1."
Naruto was blue streaked and in his shame corner again, why does he have to make it sound like that!?
"Sasuke raised his eyebrows in amusement, "I believe your right. How long have you been investigating this assumption?"
"Took me twelve years, I only started to be suspicious after the first year of it happening." Gaara answered as he sipped his water.
"You're not even upset with him." Sasuke observed.
Gaara shook his head, "I've gotten used to it, it's inevitable that he will be taking Neji also."
Naruto stood up suddenly, "Shut up! That's not true!"
"Naruto, weren't you listening? There's twelve years of official, solid evidence against you." Sasuke told him.
"But-but, I don't do it purpose!" the blonde one pleaded, he felt like he was being convicted of murder and he had to convince the jury of his insanity.
"I know that Naruto." Gaara said calmly, "This is why I've grown to accept it." Naruto stared at his friend, at the teal eyes that gazed coolly back and felt a wave of guilt.
"I'm not taking Neji from you!" he started.
"Naruto-"
"I'M NOT!!" Naruto shouted and pointed a finger at Gaara, "BELIEVE IT!!"
The red head looked up at his friend, a touch of concern in his eyes but then he glanced at Sasuke, the Uchiha was smirking and when teal and obsidian met unspoken words were passed in the flash of a second.
"I bet you will." Gaara said and Naruto almost jumped.
"WHAT!!?" he shouted angrily and leaned closer to Gaara.
"I bet you that within the next week or two, you will take my boyfriend from me." Gaara said and Naruto's eyes narrowed as he glared at the red head then he slammed his fist on to the table making everyone in the shop jump except for his two friends of course.
"I accept. I bet that I won't take Neji from you." he said, "What's the wager?"
"No ramen for the rest of the year." Sasuke and Gaara said at the same time and Naruto choked on the air that he was currently in the process of inhaling, Sasuke just calmly patted his dobe on his back as the two waited for Naruto to recollect himself.
Without hesitation, though his inner chibi was screaming in pain. Shut up!, Naruto said, "I accept your terms, but if you lose-if you lose-" the blonde one couldn't think of anything, he had used all the good ones on Gaara during their high school years- wear the girls uniform for a week, act like Hinata for the rest of the term, dye hair pink and sing instead of speaking, date Gui-sensei etc etc etc. But then it dawned on him like a touch of genius and Naruto smirked "If you lose you have to sleep with Sasuke."
"Accepted." Gaara and Sasuke said without hesitation also or even acknowledging each other and Naruto pondered for a moment then shrugged.
"By the way, you're both invited for dinner tonight." Gaara said suddenly.
"Really, what are you making?" Sasuke began.
"Wait! You can't do that, I'm not coming!" Naruto protested and Gaara looked at him.
"If you would prefer it I could get Neji to call and invite you himself?" he asked and Naruto paled, this is going to be difficult.
End of Chapter one.