-1Disclaimer:If I owned, L would have lived. Since he did not, you can infer that I, in fact, do not own.
Big thank you to Tsurai no Shi for fixing up the horribly stunted thing the ending became. And thank you to Raine Ishida… simply for being the most amazing person I know and for trying to help L stay L.
Summary: L x Raito. Because no perfection is absolute. Episode 25, diverging at the opening, italicized line Character death.
Spoilers for episode 25 & L's name.
Fallacy of Perfection
"Since you were born, have you ever told the truth even once?"
"…What are you saying, Ryuzaki? It is true I tell lies sometimes… however, there aren't any humans who haven't… People can't be perfect, everyone tells lies."
Truer words had rarely been spoken, and L was not surprised to watch them come from Raito. He was, after all, the only mind L had ever found that could equal his own, not to mention this teen's likely inherent need to excuse his own mendacity.
Perfection was ideological. In every culture, beauty had a different definition, behavior a different standard, expectations set higher or lower due to circumstance. What one person saw as flawless, another could pick apart with the slightest glance… and yet to that person the most mediocre might have been the epitome of the divine.
L knew all this as he stared towards what many would consider perfection. The rain that fell constantly from angry clouds had already managed to soak through L's shirt and jeans. It had saturated his hair and ran in thick rivulets down his neck unnoticed, streaking his face like indolent tears. But still L stared unblinking towards the apparition of beauty before him, slowly joining him in a state of waterlogged silence.
Beauty was incidental and in the eye of the beholder, but Yagami Raito was one of those whose attraction transcended strictures. His confidence and usual geniality combined with aesthetic charm made someone that enthralled people of all backgrounds, of all beliefs. But beneath the chilling charisma lied the crux of perfection.
It did not exist.
All things considered perfect had at least one damning flaw; the less obvious the flaw, the more deadly. L had known from the moment he had laid eyes on the teen that he was dangerous, as he exuded the ideal being and there was no sign that he was anything less than faultless. And so, L had deduced early on that this boy would be the end of him. He had known at some elemental level from the very beginning that Raito would become his biggest hindrance or his biggest asset.
He hadn't held much hope for the latter.
"Your eyes have changed."
Raito's eyes snapped back to attention, losing the tinge of contemplation they had taken. "What are you talking about, Ryuzaki?"
L walked forward, pulled against his will as he stared at the teen he had become so accustomed to. His mind refused to wrap around the idea of being attached to someone who would never stop being under his suspicion, even if he was his one and only friend. "Your eyes. They have changed. You have changed, Raito-kun."
L saw the barely perceptible stiffening, the hardening of those changed eyes. Madness glinted for half a moment, a flash of crimson in the washed-out tones of the gloomy afternoon. A sad caricature of a smile crossed L's lips.
Losing was not something L was familiar with, but the thought that he had already been defeated was one he allowed to permeate him. He had made a fatal error in his calculations when he had allowed himself to be in such close quarters with the younger man, had allowed affection to blossom. But Raito had been different then, softer at the edges and warmer to the touch.
'Touch…'
L was not one to ignore his instincts, nor was he one to deny himself for the sake of convention. He had never cared what others thought, even if what he wanted directly stomped on their requests. So when L found he had an unquenchable urge to close the distance between himself and the simmering Raito to taste the rain that trailed down his lips, he did so without bothering to hesitate.
Cold. That was the only word that entered L's mind. Whether it was the rain that had cooled Raito's lips or a physical manifestation of his character, Raito's unmoving lips were like ice against L's warmed ones, sending shivers trailing down his perpetually hunched spine. But somehow it didn't matter as he stared into the wide mahogany eyes, filled with disbelief and shock.
And for just a moment, he saw the Raito he had spent months beside, the arrogant but well-meaning youth that had captured L's attention in ways much more involved than he would have imagined. The Raito that was his friend. The Raito that had made his heart speed up at inopportune moments and his professional judgment waver with a look. But then those eyes flashed red again, and his Raito disappeared, leaving behind the monster once more, with disgust evident in his gaze.
L smiled against those lips, hot breath fanning over them in a silent sigh. Loss was not as harsh as he had thought it would be, instead a freedom filling his soul. If he would lose, then he would chose the venue; he refused to be caught unawares.
"L Lawliet."
Trance broken, Raito tried to yank away, but was held firm by fingers which had snuck their way into his hair. L kept his eyes locked on the slowly more aware ones of his counterpart and repeated himself, wanting the meaning to be understood.
"My name is L Lawliet."
His lips still brushing the cold ones of Raito caused the sharp intake of breath to feel as if it was stealing his soul. When the younger man didn't respond but to move his lips tantalizingly against L's as he attempted to respond, L pulled away and gave a smirk, peering up through his sodden bangs.
"So, what will you do, Kira?"
Those eyes, so entrancing and guileless only minutes before, narrowed in incensed fury, hands that had somehow ended up on L's shoulders tightening painfully. L just stared, unaffected by the rage directed upon him, awaiting his fate.
And then those angry eyes cleared to a dark malevolence, a horrific smile stretching over those cold lips that L had kissed. "Kill you, of course."
'If I had to die, Raito-kun, I am glad it was by the hand of a worthy opponent. And wouldn't you know it… in the end, I was right.' And L smiled, the thought oddly comforting in those moments.
Flawed though Raito was, L hoped that in the next life, he might have a chance to know how things might have been. His smile grew wider, causing Raito's eyes to narrow in suspicion. The glare only made his stare intensify.
Raito popped open a strange compartment on his watch and withdrew a scrap of paper. L didn't bother tracking the movements, instead watching Raito's face.
Though he would remember in his last moments 'his' Raito, L knew that he hadn't been a façade, and that the one currently in front of him wasn't one either. L didn't understand the mechanics of Kira, but he was sure he had not been wrong about Raito, not then nor now. Behind Raito's eyes of hazel-red was the madman who'd stolen his heart.
As pain seized him, L leaned forward into the sneering man, letting consciousness escape him. And even as life ebbed away, his smile never faded, ironic and depreciating though it was.
Who wanted perfection, after all, when it was the defects that made things interesting?
A/N: I hate character death. No really. Despise it, actually. But here I am, for the very first time, writing it. -sighs sadly- Oh, L.
I am aware of the implausibility of this, but I thought it more fitting than the ignoble death L was given in the series, not to mention the yaoi elements my fangirl heart craves (well, the drying off scene was adorable in a trillion ways, but still).
Also, L is OOC, but I think he's not much more OOC than he was in that scene in the anime. He was in a weird mood, give him a break. XD
