Bittersweet

by Obvious Ghost

Get it?

"Yo, Rae!"

It was just... something about his voice. Something that told her he was plotting. Always annoying, sure, but once in a while there was an extra squeakiness to it. He'd yell just a little bit higher, and she could swear there was a mischievous smile hidden in the sound waves.

She paused, standing at the front of the main room. "What is it."

Behind the couch, something shuffled.

Raven narrowed her eyes.

"TA-DA!" Beast Boy sprang up, grinning widely, and held his arms wide like a magician after a magnificent trick. Although, with what he was wearing, he looked more like an assistant.

Raven couldn't help but stare. Jewelry. Jewelry. Probably plastic, but still. Hundreds of baubles and tiny beads were draped over his uniform. Why was he wearing jewelry?

"Um, Beast Boy-"

He cackled. "Nope! Guess again!"

"What." She blinked. He was just standing there, still smiling like an idiot, momentarily distracted when some of the beads fell from his left arm. There were even some in his hair. "Why are there beads in your hair?"

He frowned, but it changed back quickly. "Aw, fine, I'll tell you!" Planting one foot on the couch and throwing back his shoulders, he dramatically looked up and yelled, "I am... Beads Boy!"

Raven said nothing.

"Uh... I said, I'm Beads Boy!"

She fought to keep a neutral expression. "I'm going back to my room."

"No no no, wait!" Plastic trinkets flew as he scrambled across the floor. Finally catching up to Raven, he stopped. "Alright, this time, you gotta guess."

He vanished.

Taken off guard for a second, Raven quickly realized he'd morphed into something small. A faint buzzing signaled his location, and she glanced down to see a small, green bumblebee lazily drifting upwards.

"Don't tell me," she said dryly. "You're Bees Boy."

He appeared again, beaming. "Yeah! And-" Still in the air, he barely had time to blink before crashing to the ground. "Ow!"

Raven sighed. "Well, this has been fun."

Gingerly rubbing his elbow, Beast Boy quickly looked up. "What? No, I have more! I've been working on these!"

"I don't care."

"Raaaaveeeen!" he wailed. She gritted her teeth, trying to block out the noise. "Pleeeease?"

"Beast Boy, I will throw you across the room."

He leaped to his feet, scowling in determination. "You know I'll make that a game. Probably try to get more air each time."

She considered this. "Fine."

"YES!" His smile faltered. "Um... what was I gonna do next?"

"Don't. Ask. Me."

Completely missing the venom in her voice, he brightened. "Oh yeah!" He dashed to the kitchen section, throwing open the fridge. "Let's see, where'd it go-"

He spun around, proudly holding up three... vegetables of some kind. "Got it!"

Red. Vaguely bulb-shaped. Large leaves growing out of the top.

Raven closed her eyes. She probably couldn't fully meditate, not here and now, but she could try to take deep, relaxing breaths. Inner peace. Serenity. Calm. Contentme-

"I'M BEETS BOY!"

Breathe deeply. Breathe. Breathe. Throw him off the Tower. Breathe- wait, what?

It took all of her mental discipline, but she opened her eyes and said without any sarcasm, "That's great, Beast Boy."

The absolute delight in his expression nearly made her nauseous. "Awesome!" he chirped. "Alright, one more-"

He transformed into a bright green pelican, awkwardly waddling around her in a circle. The giant bill slapped into her ankle a few times.

Rolling her eyes, she decided to humor him. "Is it Beak Boy?"

He was back, crouching on the ground. "Aw yeah! You know I'm Bird Boy-" He stopped, blinking in wonder. "Wait, that's... that's even better! Rae, you're a genius!"

"...That's it." She turned. "I'm done."

"Aw, don't be like that!" Beast Boy pleaded. "Was it really so bad?"

"Absolutely."

He grinned again. "Whatever, Rae. You know you like my jokes."

The silence was heavy. Thick and ominous, like a dark fog.

"Listen to me." Raven's voice seemed to echo, causing Beast Boy to shrink back. "Your jokes are stupid and childish, but what's worse- they're predictable. Obvious. And they are not funny."

She turned to leave again.

"So..." A squeaky voice sounded from behind her. "You're saying if the jokes are more clever... you'll admit that I'm funny?"

She didn't turn around. He'd just be watching her, smiling innocently, completely unaware of how impossibly frustrating he was. She couldn't deal with that right now.

"I'm saying you can't make a subtle joke. You won't-"

"Oh, it is on."

She hesitated. "What?"

He sounded more confident, now. Even excited. "Challenge accepted, Rae. I'll be so subtle you won't even know I'm being subtle."

Why did this have to happen? It didn't matter if she tried to make him stop, or if she begrudgingly took part in his pranks, because he would just keep going.

She shook her head. "Great. Now-"

"Hold on!" Beast Boy coughed, then stood up straighter. "I'm gonna make it official." Throwing one arm forward, he tried to make a heroic face. "Let it be known throughout the Tower that I, the Boy of Beasts, will craft the ultimate joke, and it will be so subtle that Raven will acknowledge my comedic skills! I will not rest until I complete this mission. I will not stop searching for the funniest, the most intelligent, the cleverest possible joke, and when I finally have it, Raven is going to appreciate the humor!"

His proclamation echoed in an empty room. Embarrassed, he looked at the spot where Raven used to be. "Rude," he muttered.

[]

"I'm just saying, he's been gone for a while."

Cyborg shrugged, leaning against the doorframe of his room. "I'm sure he's fine, Rae. Might even be hiding as a bug somewhere, just messin' with ya."

"...I suppose." Raven glanced down the hallway. "You're probably right."

"Anyway, just remember what I said." Cyborg grinned.

She nodded, turning away from his room. "I will."

The hall echoed with Raven's quiet footsteps- she wasn't sure why she was making her way to the main room. Robin hadn't mentioned any alerts, so most of the Titans were trying to find ways to occupy their time. She figured she would just see who was around, or maybe use the free time to meditate. Stepping around the corner, Raven saw-

"Oh." She frowned. "You're back."

Beast Boy didn't say a word, eyes narrowed in concentration.

Raven shook her head, then stepped back to really take in the scene. Beast Boy was perched atop a stepladder, carefully holding a red plastic bucket on top of the partially-opened door of the fridge. It balanced for a second, but he had to reach up to steady it again every time it wobbled.

"What are you doing?"

He looked over, then snapped his focus back to the bucket. "I'm just... setting a trap."

Raven crossed her arms. "What, for me?"

Beast Boy chuckled. "No, I'm not pulling for you."

"Cyborg, then?" She tilted her head, visualizing the prank. "You're hoping he'll open the door, then get splashed by whatever's in there."

He nodded, a satisfied smirk on his face. "I'm not a betting man, but this is a sure thing."

That was... odd. Raven ignored it, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, where were you all day?"

Beast Boy's eyes lit up. "Woo-hoo hoo!" He crowed, leaping down from the ladder. "I-"

Raven winced as the bucket tumbled, showering him with a cascade of water. For a second, Beast Boy stood there, soaked and dazed, but then he shook it off. "I guess that's how it's gotta be," he shrugged.

Deliberately not reacting to his strange proclamation, Raven sighed. "You were saying?"

He nodded, swelling up with pride. "I've been to Tokyo, and to South Africa..."

Well then.

"You went around the world. In a day." In response, Beast Boy morphed into a bird. Probably one of those falcons. He seemed to like those. And she could have sworn he was still smirking at her.

Raven scowled. "I hope you don't really think I'd believe that."

Undaunted, he switched back and continued. "But my favorite place is-"

"Is this part of the joke?"

He wavered. "Huh?"

Raven looked at him thoughtfully. "You said you wanted to find a good joke." Eyebrows raised, she gestured towards him. "Is... this part of that?"

Beast Boy paused. Leaning forward, as if he was going to share a secret, he whispered, "Get it?"

Her first instinct was to nod, but a sudden thought made her stop. What if she said yes? He'd probably ask her to prove it, but if she said no, she'd basically be admitting that he did it. He came up with a subtle, clever joke that she didn't understand, and if he had been annoying before, he would be positively insufferable now.

Besides, she didn't really want him to stop trying. Not now, anyway.

So she simply shook her head. "Beast Boy, this is the opposite of clever."

Instead of objecting, he just laughed. "Aw, come on, Rae! No, hold on-" He stopped, thinking for a moment, then beamed. "...All that hate is gonna burn you up!"

"I'm sure." She ground her teeth. "Are you done? Because-"

Beast Boy interrupted, but he spoke too quietly for her to understand. "What?"

He repeated something, but she still couldn't hear it. "Beast Boy, are you even speaking English?"

He chuckled. "I'm slurring on purpose, Rae." He tried to stifle his glee, face growing red. "And- and it's-" Beast Boy burst into laughter. "And it's certainly worth it!"

Raven stared, blinking as he bent over sideways. Still laughing, he leaned on one arm, completely collapsed on the floor. "Whoo-hoo hoo," he babbled again.

She rubbed her forehead, hoping a headache wasn't on the way. "Please start making sense."

Beast Boy grinned up at her. "I'm not trying to hurt you, I just love to speak!"

"This is ridiculous."

"Oh!" He rolled onto his stomach, face propped up on his elbows. "Would you say it... feels like we're pulling teeth?"

She didn't say anything, simply drilling him with a flat expression. Smiling, he got to his feet. "Look, Raven, you gotta understand. Everything I do is..."

He frowned. "Huh. There's a word for it. Um..."

Raven did not look amused. He tried again. "You know, like that kind of chocolate... When something's kinda good, but kinda bad, too, and it's just-"

"Bittersweet?"

"YES!" Raven took a step back when he suddenly yelled, pumping his fist in the air. "GOTCHA! You said I couldn't do it, but I DID IT! I win this time, Raven! Woo-hoo HOO!"

She took a deep breath. Time to start the real prank. "I still don't get it," she said casually.

His celebration interrupted, Beast Boy's wide grin drooped slightly. "Hm? Oh, it's that song. You know, 'Party at the DMV' or something." Her blank look made him frown. "Aw, you know! One 'a Cyborg's favorite bands! You've heard the song. You totally heard it somewhere."

"Beast Boy, I can guarantee I've never heard of this."

"Oh, come ON. You're taking all the fun out of my victory." He pouted, disappointed. "Look, it's called 'Bittersweet'." He hummed a few bars. "Remember?"

Sighing again, Raven turned around. "You're completely making this up."

"What? No way!" He dashed around her, stopping her from leaving. "Look, I'll show you."

Running back to the main room's TV screen, he dropped to the carpet and started looting through the CD's. "Let's see... where'd it-" He stood quickly, confused. "It's not here!"

"One of Cyborg's CD's is missing," Raven said drily. "I wonder what could have happened."

"Hey!" He jabbed a finger at his own chest. "I'm the only one who gets to take Cy's tunes without asking!"

Cyborg stepped in from the hallway, squinting. "What's this about my music?"

Raven nodded towards Beast Boy, now frantically looking through the collection again. "Personally, I think he's gone crazy."

Without looking up, Beast Boy waved to his friend. "Cy, help me out. What's the name of that band? They did 'Bittersweet'."

"Did what?"

He spun around, glaring. "You know! Geez, you were listening to it, like, this morning!" He stopped, jumping up as something occurred to him. "'Panic at the Disco'! That's it!"

Cyborg crossed his arms, looking concerned. "Uh, B? You feelin' okay?"

He gaped. "Not you too!"

"Just sayin', none of that made any sense."

"It's a real band," he hissed, before storming across the room. "And I'm gonna prove it! ROBIN!"

Cyborg scratched his head, turning to Raven. "He been like this since you found him?"

She nodded. "I think he's really starting to lose it."

"I'm not crazy!" he yelled. With a huff, he started down the hallway. "Robin, come on! We need you out here!"

The Boy Wonder stepped out of his room, a bewildered expression on his face. "Beast Boy? What's going on?"

"Thank you." Dramatically pointing to the others, Beast Boy smiled. "Now, will you please tell these two that Panic at the Disco is a real band, and I am not making this up, and most importantly, that I am not crazy."

Robin just stared. "What are you talking about?"

"OH, COME ON!" With a screech of rage, Beast Boy darted past the open door, running through the room and hopping into the computer chair before Robin had time to stop him. "Okay, here we go. Gonna settle this once and for-"

He froze.

"You can't just barge into my room, Beast Boy," Robin muttered. He grabbed his friend's shoulder, quickly lifting him out of the chair.

"But... it's not... it can't..." he blubbered, staring at the computer screen. The band name was there, clearly spelled out in the search bar.

No results.

Raven shook her head. "I told you, Beast Boy. I knew you were making it up."

He tried to jump forward, but Robin held him back. "No, I wasn't! The Internet- it just- I mean, yeah, it was a joke, but it's not..." he trailed off, whimpering quietly.

"Beast Boy?"

Turning slowly, dazed and baffled, he saw Starfire floating gently behind him. "We... um... 'got you'?"

She brought her hands out from behind her back. Beast Boy stared down at the CD.

"Wait, what?" he squeaked, and his voice cracked slightly.

The room was silent for a second. His mind raced, trying to put it all together-

"Aw, BOOYEAH!" Cyborg cheered, holding a hand out to Robin. For his part, the leader grinned and returned the high-five, while Raven smiled quietly and shook her head. Starfire still looked unsure, but laughed along with the others anyway.

Wiping tears from his eyes, Cyborg sighed happily. "Man, that was classic."

Beast Boy looked at his friends, shifting his gaze to each of the other Titans with a blank stare. "Guys, what's going on?"

"Well, for starters..." Robin proudly looked back at the computer. "I hacked the search engine. Cyborg knew you'd look for either the song or the band, so I tweaked the computer so nothing would show up."

"Wait... Cyborg?"

His best friend's evil smile was practically breaking out of his face. "Planned the whole thing, B. Man, when you burst into my room, panicking because you didn't know what kinda joke to play on Raven, the idea just came to me."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Everybody was in on it?" he squealed.

"You know it." Cyborg beamed, proudly looking at the others. "When I said you should use a song, I could tell you chose the one that was playin' right then. So, since I already knew your plan, I tracked down Raven an' told her mine."

"No way!" He spun back to Raven, who was letting an amused smile show. "You were acting the whole time?"

She nodded, but Cyborg jumped in again. "Told everybody to act like they'd never heard the song, an' from there it was easy."

"And I hid the circular music-playing disc!" Starfire said happily.

Beast Boy was completely lost for words. They had... pranked him. Him. The master of jokes, tricks, and schemes. They finally got him back, and he hadn't seen it coming at all.

Something else struck him. "So, wait, I went around the world for nothing?" he blurted out.

The laughter stopped.

Nervously, Cyborg grinned. "Hah, yeah, really funny, B, but we know you were just jokin'."

He shook his head. "No, dude, I really did! Why'd you think I was gone so long?" Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small digital camera. Holding the screen up to Cyborg's face, he said urgently, "See?"

The first picture was Beast Boy, posing with a goofy smile in front of the skyline of a major city. Stunned, Cyborg passed the camera over to Robin, whose face went white. "That's- that's Tokyo, all right," he managed.

"Told ya." Beast Boy glared at them both, then grabbed the camera back and found another picture. He was here, too, wearing a wide hat and dark sunglasses, with a combination of bustling city and tall mountains in the background.

Robin stared. "No animal can go around the world in a day."

"Yeah, well, I did!"

Raven raised her eyebrows, as surprised as the rest of them. "You actually went to Japan and South Africa," she said slowly, "Just because it was in a song?"

He spun around, with a determined look in his eyes. "I wanted the ultimate joke, Rae," he said solemnly. "The prank to end all pranks. And then you guys came along and..."

Starfire coughed. The sound echoed off the walls of Robin's room.

Robin looked over to Cyborg. "So... did our prank work?"

"I dunno, man." He scratched his head. "I mean, somebody got pranked, right?"

"I think everybody did," Raven said quietly.

"Wow." Beast Boy blinked. "I don't even know what to feel like right now. I mean, everything's just sorta..."

Raven glared. "Don't even say it."

He smiled. "B-"

"Don't say it."

[]

I'm afraid I rather shamelessly stole the idea of 'Beast Boy uses song lyrics to mess with Raven' from a series of oneshots called "The Green Files" by Lady Bonny. I don't favorite a whole lot of stories, but this is one of them- the series is wonderfully written, and more to the point, one of the chapters (I think it's called 'What?') is really funny- that's where I got the idea.

I don't own Panic! at the Disco, but can you imagine if I did? If the people who own that band write Teen Titans fanfiction in their spare time?