Alex rider laughed as his best friend managed to face plant for the second time in as many minutes.
"Y'know mate, you're supposed to kick the ball, not yourself"
"Really? That's news!"
Alex laughed, Irene loved her sarcasm. He'd known Irene since he was five and she three. Her dad had been an old friend of Ian's and Alex could remember many happy summers spent in Texas with the girl. Then Ian had been killed and the whole spying gig had started. Irene had come over for part of the summer due to her 'readiness to pull a Sherlock and start shooting the wall'. That was her version to him anyway. To her parents it was 'A chance to intern with the ambassador to Great Britain, because diplomacy is a possible career choice'.
Irene grinned despite her cutting remark. She missed Alex, before Ian had died (she didn't buy the car crash thing, thankyouverymuch) she and Alex had exchanged emails almost every day, and chatted as often as their schedules and time difference would allow. Post not at all suspicious death Alex had all but dropped off the radar, so here she was come to check up on him.
And not a moment too soon if the scars Alex made a pathetic attempt to hide were any indication. The two were playing soccer… or Irene was pretending to attempt to and Alex was pretending not to notice. The ruse worked well for both of them, Alex was given a chance to relax and enjoy Irene's company complete with sarcasm and mayhem and Irene got a chance to give her best friend a much needed break, plus she wasn't bored.
Jack grinned out the window, watching the two teens play. Irene had arrived yesterday like a whirlwind of fresh air. Alex had gone to meet her at the airport while Jack waited at home, anxious to meet this much talked about friend. Her first sight of Irene had her raising eyebrows.
The teen managed to mix punk and classy in what ended up a perfect mix. Stylish jeans just cleared the ground in high-heeled black boots. Irene wore a black turtle neck with almost unnoticeable sparkles in the fabric under a faux leather jacket. She wore coiled snake earring, a ring with a pentagram, and an assortment of hair bands on her left wrist.
Jack had known just from watching them walk together that Irene was something else. Her stride was assured, comfortable, matching Alex's easily without seeming rushed. The younger girl reached out and touched Alex casually, and Alex let her. Alex didn't like to be touched as a rule, but Irene calmly draped herself all over the boy and Alex just laughed.
Jack was thankful for that at least. Irene matched Alex pretty well, she made jokes and laughed easier, but in the faint lines already around the 15 year olds mouth and the depth to her eyes Jack knew. She knew that the experiences might have been different, but Irene had grown up just as fast as Alex had. The girl didn't pry, but Jack could see the knowledge in her eyes when she looked at Alex.
Irene had insisted they all watch BBC's new Sherlock Holmes to explain her mention of pulling a Sherlock. That was the first time Jack had seen Alex truly laugh since Ian died. Like most teens Irene had a dirty sense of humor, but unlike most teens her jokes weren't crass, they were vulgar mixed with discretion, in an odd sense of the word. Irene could, and did, make anything perverted, but the vulgar words were said with a sophisticated smirk.
And so Jack was glad this strange woman/teen had come to stay with them, even if she was horrible at football.
After exchanging a few more barbs about Irene's lack of grace (though in reality despite her seeming clumsiness most days, Irene was one of the most graceful people Alex knew), Alex went inside to go grab a Frisbee.
He did not expect to find K-unit having a stare off with Jack.
"What are you guys doing here?"
"Hey Cub, uhm we're here to protect you?" Eagle looked less than sure on this.
"Excuse me?"
"We were ordered to kit up and come stay here for a while, something about a threat." Fox shrugged.
Jack glanced back and forth between the SAS men and Alex. Alex opened his mouth to explain when he heard a loud thump, and shortly after the front door opening.
"Uhm Alex?" That was Irene's guilty voice.
"In the kitchen."
"Irene walked into the kitchen to see the SAS men facing off against Alex and Jack.
"Right, where'd the man candy come from?"
"Erm…" Alex frantically thought for a lie.
"Never mind, there was a guy sneaking up to the house and I hope you didn't like him 'cause I think I broke it."
Alex narrowed his eyes at his friend, "You think you broke him?"
Irene nodded sheepishly. Alex sighed and motioned for her to lead.
There laying in the middle of his lawn with the soccer ball by his head was Yassen Gregorovich, out cold. Alex and K-unit both gaped in mild shock.
"Sweetheart, how exactly did you manage that?" Alex finally managed to ask.
"It was an accident?"
"You accidentally knocked out the world's best assassin?" Snake asked incredulous.
Irene whirled to face him arms crossing as she went into what Alex called 'defensive Texas girl' mode.
"Yes it was an accident, and did you just say assassin?"
Alex stepped in before Irene started throwing real punches, "Yes assassin, did I forget to mention I'm an MI6 spy?"
Irene glared at him, then began to laugh. Really laugh, as in doubled over gasping for breath. Everyone waited for the insanity to pass (silly people it never goes away).
"Let me guess, Ian was a spy but got killed on an assignment so you got pulled in to finish it off?"
"Pretty much."
"And unconscious over there killed him?"
"Yup."
"So… would it be a problem if I kept him?"
"We've been over this, you can't own people."
"BDSM says otherwise."
"BDSM is about kinky sex, not actual ownership."
"But no one wants him."
"You still can't have him."
"Can I at least video tape the two of you together?"
At that everyone choked. Alex glared at his friend, "excuse me?"
Irene grinned, "Oh you're still clueless, good. So if I can't keep him what do we do with him?"
"Let's start with getting him inside."
K-unit, still a bit mystified as to who the hell the weird teenage girl was, helped pick the assassin up and tie him to a chair. Alex then proceeded to give Irene a rundown of his life post Ian's death. After her response was 'Can I sign up?' K-unit voted Irene to be a crazy bitch they should all stay away from.
Yassen woke up to a pounding head and a very loud argument.
"OI get her away from me."
"Irene don't kill Eagle."
"But Alex!"
"You have to clean up the bodies if you kill them."
"You're supposed to be on our side Cub"
"Damn it put those scissors down"
"Open wide pretty birdie"
"Hell no"
"Hey look it's awake"
The last came from the teenage girl who had been trying to shove something in one of the SAS men's throat using scissors while the other three tried to stop her (and failed horribly) and Alex read a book.
Everyone turned to look at the assassin at Irene's interjection. The girl hopped down from the counter, set the scissors down and practically skipped over to the tied assassin. She poked him in the forehead.
"See Alex I didn't break him permanently, he shows no sign of a concussion, just a really bad headache."
Alex nodded, "Great, now I don't have to explain how my best friend took down the world's top assassin.
If you want the definition of bad day try: Being the best assassin in the world and getting taken down by an eighteen year old untrained girl with a football.
"Not bad for being untrained huh?"
"Next time aim for the nose."
"I wasn't trying to kill him. Even you hadn't started killing people at 15."
"Not that you haven't made attempts to kill people already"
Make that: Being the best assassin in the world and getting taken down by a fifteen year old untrained girl with a football.
Yassen really shouldn't have gotten out of bed this morning.