"Fevered Murmurings"

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an Inuyasha fanfiction

by

mkh2

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Note:  This is just a repost… yes, I did decide to move it to "Inuyasha: Thoughts." It's not very angsty nor very romantic; however, it does (hopefully) provide some food for thought. It was up since around September the 9th, I think.

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Insert standard disclaimer here – right now I'm too tired to think, and if I try any harder my brains will start to ooze out of my ears… (Tippy: eww… lovely imagery there. mkh2: thank you! Tippy: ::sweatdrops:: I was being sarcastic.) Anyways, everybody knows that Inuyasha-tachi belongs to Rumiko Takahashi… what more needs to be said?

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I had this on a disk for a while – pretty much forgot about it – and after getting rather shaken up today (about what, I'd rather not say) I decided to post this (after about of editing. It seems I wasn't really paying attention to my fingering when I first typed this up. Otherwise, this is your basic copy and paste (did it in WordPad – ech! What was I thinking?) Hope you like.

Oh, and one more thing, though this takes place after no specific date in the timeline, it just is supposed to occur after getting their little gang together (even meeting Kouga – I like him, he looks like Ryouga, ne? [I dig guys with fangs! . ::blush::]) and probably (preferably ^-^) after an encounter with Kikyo… or possibly right after meeting that one half-demon, Jinenji (remember him?, poor thing…)

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" " – indicates speech

' ' – indicates thought

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It had been a long day of traveling. Inuyasha had finally relented to Kagome's pleas and found a good place to stop for the night. As much as he hated to admit, the slight flush and faint sheen of sweat on her forehead had worried him. Naturally, he had to put on a big show before "giving in" to her demands. They had eaten dinner in silence (ramen, naturally) and went to their respective resting spots, Inuyasha leaping into a tree branch with a great "feh!" after watching Kagome wriggle into her (very comfortable and rather roomy looking, Inuyasha duly noted) sleeping bag. When Inuyasha observed Kagome's breathing even off, suggesting she was finally asleep, he skirted the surrounding area (you never know when you're going to be attacked) before bounding down to the nearby stream.

"Hmm…" mused Inuyasha. Sometimes – not often, naturally, after all, he's a demon and not a sentimental type of person (okay, half-demon, but still!) – sometimes it was nice to sit and look at the stars and the moon and the water and just sit and ponder, you know, just ponder… ponderous ponders? Inuyasha shook his head – somehow, that sounded so stupid – something like that silly wench who insisted on taking many breaks and helping others and other stupid stuff would think or say. He snorted and got down on his haunches. 'Hope she isn't sick…'

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'It's so hot!' Kagome sat up and, bleary-eyed, looked around the camp. She unzipped her bag and rolled out, getting it tangled around her feet. 'It's still hot.' She tilted her head back and blinked confusedly at the half-moon overhead. "Eto… it's very, very hot!" Glancing up at tree branch she had seen Inuyasha leap into, she saw that her favorite hanyou was missing. 'Wonder where he is.' After some moments she decided looking for him was a good idea and standing up, strained all her senses for any sight or sound or aura around so she could think of a good direction to head in.

'The sound of… rushing water… or at least trickling water…' Kagome wobbled around to an about face. 'I think I'll go… that a-way.' Stoically, she trudged off to where she recalled the stream to be. 'Heh, even if he's not there, it would be nice to cool off a bit.'

"Inuyasha…" Kagome murmured as she peered from around the tree.

Inuyasha's only response was to twitch his ears, alerting her that, yes, he heard her.

She slowly waddled down the grassy knoll to him and crouched down on the bank a few feet away from him. Wow, it was so hot… Perhaps she should put her feet in the water to cool off?

"Inuyasha…" Kagome murmured again, smiling dazedly, though somewhat blankly out at the rippling water. "What do you think should be done with the Shikon no Tama once this is all over? I know… I know you said you would become a demon but, but didn't you say you'd become a human for Kikyo? And if you did become a demon, wouldn't it be a waste of a perfectly good wish – I mean, you did say something about 'descending to the depths of Hades' to be with Kikyo, didn't you? You wouldn't get a chance to enjoy your powers, eh?"

Inuyasha turned to look at her wondering what could possess her to talk like that. A slight breeze blew her scent to him, lightly tickling his nose. Funny, there seemed to be a hint of illness – was she sick? Maybe this is why she spoke so frankly, a touch of delirium loosened her tongue, lowered her inhibitions.

"If Kikyo did take you to Hell, did you realize that, naturally, I would be doomed to Hell also? Kikyo still has some of my soul, after all, and damning her to Hell is the same as damning me to Hell. Why she's so determined to drag you down – you don't owe her anything; in fact, she owes you! Even when you thought she betrayed you, you never attacked her!" Her murmurings took on a hissing-like quality, her vehemence showing in the intonation more than in the pitch. "She attacked you, condemned you to death, or at least her version of an eternal sleep, but you never raised a finger to her. Even before, when you would attack, Kaede said you never raised a claw to hurt or kill any human. When you attacked the village, your aim was never to hurt anyone; you would have simply taken the jewel and left. You – it seems to me that you were already more human than Kikyo ever was.

"Am I even her reincarnation? I wonder at it." Her voice had calmed down, same pitch and tone as prior, not that the pitch ever went any higher. "Her memories have been sealed into her very bones and flesh and could not be erased even after burned – if your whole physical life could be uncovered by studying one's bones, as it is often found to be true in my time, then why not even memories? Emotions? Thoughts? Could it have been that all the taking of my soul had done was to really just jumpstart or reboot a machine that was already programmed for your downfall? Could it be that all I was, was just a battery?"

Inuyasha scrunched up his nose – eh… future terms are hard to get your head around. However, he did understand what she meant… and the idea intrigued him…

"Sometimes I wonder what should be done with the Shikon no Tama. You did say that you would take it and turn into a demon, though your thoughts seem to be conflicted at the prospect of being a human. I like you as you are, and if you did decided to remain a hanyou, what then? Should we use the jewel to save Kohaku? Do we wish for happiness? What is a pure wish, a pure wish that could erase the jewel from this earth, right out of existence? When I fuse it, will it simply go back in me? Will I continue to be able to go back and forth through the well? Will I simply find myself back in my original time, no choice given me? Will I remember this when all is said and done? Don't I need the jewel to travel between times? Would burrowing the jewel into the well enable me to continue time-hopping forever? What is best for us all? What needs to be done? I don't know. I want someone to tell me."

She tapered off and looked at the moon for a little while, her eyes glazed over. Inuyasha bit his lip; it looked, and smelled, like her fever was getting worse. She should go to bed, but… she wanted, needed to get this out – and he wanted and needed to hear it too.

"Inuyasha, I want you to know that, that, that whatever you decide I will support you… my feelings for you will not change. My feelings for you as a hanyou are the same for you as when you are a human or when you are youkai. No, let me restate that: I think my heart beats for you more firmly, more desperately; as a human, I fear for your life; as a youkai, I fear for your soul."

Kagome turned to look at him, a delicate flush over her cheeks and nose, lips somehow redder from the gentle nibbling she was wont to do when nervous.

"The only thing I worry about in the end is your soul – even if your life is forfeit, even if my life is forfeit – our souls are what is the most important part of us. I just want you to be safe and happy – I don't want you to die, I don't want you to go to hell, and I don't want you to change, because I love you the way you are… and I always will. I just hope that whatever happens with the Shikon no Tama – that you will remain you."

She grinned slightly. "Hey, didn't you say you'd protect me? How could you, if you lost your mind?"

The whole time she was speaking her voice was a low, soft murmur, sometimes dropping to the faintest of whispers, feathering gently over his ears. He swallowed hard. Now it was his turn to talk, right? He was a man, and as a man he should be more than capable of reassuring her against her fears. Clearing his throat, he turned to her, only to hurtle himself forward to catch as she swooned and almost fell head first into the stream.

'Baka girl,' he thought. 'When will she learn?'

~

Inuyasha stretched and hopped down from his perch. He had wanted to talk to Kagome since she had flopped over on the bank, finally passing out from her fever and lack of sleep. He walked over to her and poked her.

"Hey, hey Kagome." He blinked his eyes. 'No response, eh?' He poked her in the shoulder, leaning over her when *whap!*

"Gah! What was that for, wench?!" Inuyasha rubbed his red cheek.

Kagome yawned and stretched before blinking her eyes and turning to Inuyasha.

"Oh, sorry! Hit you again, did I?" Laughing slightly, Kagome got out of her sleeping bag and bounced over to her backpack. "Ramen for breakfast? Chicken or beef? Maybe both?" She rummaged through it, pulling out the small cups. "What do you think, Inuyasha?"

He blinked. "Chicken."

"Naturally. Could you get the wood for me?" She waved her hand breezily in the general direction of the pile of sticks they had gathered the night before.

Blankly, he picked them up and arranged them in the usual fashion before recalling what he had hopped down for in the first place.

"Eh, Kagome, about last night…" Inuyasha wrinkled up his nose, not sure how to begin.

Kagome looked up at him in surprise. "What? Did something happen last night?"

He face faulted. "What do you mean, 'Did something happen last night?' Don't you remember?"

"No. Was it important?"

He sighed and looked at her. "Not anything you need to worry about."

He sat and watched Kagome as she stoked up the fire and heated the water.

"Heh, I had a wonderful dream last night! There was this huge pot of oden, big as a swimming pool! I even swum in it, eating up the delicious oden, oden, oden –"

Inuyasha nodded his head at Kagome's ramblings, content to just listen to her voice as he stared into the low flames.

'It doesn't matter that you don't remember, or that we can't continue our talk – I already said I was going to protect you, if you let me, and in the end, that's all that really matters.'

~Owari~

And now time for Mikki! Whee! I spin around in circles! Lookit Mikki go! I spin faster and faster and – oomph! Hey! Who put that wall there?

Hee, just a note for any newbies (I should start putting the words in each one, ne?)… baka means stupid, or well… some other meanings aren't so nice, though it could also mean silly.

You can go now. The story is over. Go on. Shoo. … What are you still doing here. Leave already (but please leave a review or something… if you feel like it and have the time. ::insert standard cheesy grin here::)