Title: The Fun of Severus Snape
Rating: T
Summary: Snape had a bit of fun after he left Hogwarts and fathered two children with two different women, Harry with Lily and another child, with a muggle. During Harry's third year it comes out that he and another person are related. The real shocker is, Snape didn't know. Based on the Hidden Snape's on Potions and Snitches.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling's Harry Potter characters and I'm making nothing from this.
Chapter 1: Snape's Shocking Reaction
Warning: I answer the question what would Professor Snape do if he found out that he's a father. Well, his reaction is certainly going to be funny.
"Are you certain that this information is correct," Dumbledore asked the man.
"I'm most certain of it," he said, "When they both turned thirteen it was revealed."
"This is beyond mean, Albus," McGonagall said while Dumbledore began laughing his head off. "And I don't find this remotely funny."
"Oh the idea that he fathered two of the most annoying students that he thinks has come to this school is hilarious."
"Are you going to quit laughing and tell them or do you want me to tell them?" McGonagall asked.
"Oh please do tell them because I don't think that I'll be able to stop laughing," Dumbledore said and McGonagall rolled her eyes.
Men, really!
"Is he going to be alright?" the man asked her as they left.
"Give it time to go through his system and he'll be fine," she told him, "Thanks for letting us know. Heaven knows that child needs a better home than the Dursley's."
He nodded and then left.
Both Harry and Hermione were having Care of Magical Creatures and she was sure that they wouldn't mind getting away from Hagrid's class for fifteen minutes. She left the castle and made her way to Hagrid's hut, where the class was busy feeding Flobberworms.
"Hagrid, I need Mr. Potter and Miss Granger," she told him.
"Sure," he said and Harry and Hermione got up and joined her.
"We need to pick up one more person and then I'll take you three to my office," she told them.
"What is about?" Hermione asked her.
"You'll find out," she said and they reentered the castle.
They made their way down to the dungeons and she stopped, knocking three times on the door. A harsh 'enter' was called out and she opened the door. "I need to see you, Severus."
"After class is-."
"Now, Severus, and I mean it," she snapped.
"Fine," he said and he walked out, closing the door. "Make it quick."
"In my office," she said, "And don't ask any questions until I tell you why I've asked for your three to come with me."
The three of them were silent as they entered her office and she closed the door. She placed a powerful Silencing Charm on her office and then sat behind her desk, conjuring another chair for them to sit in.
"Now Albus would be telling you but he is laughing his old butt off," she said, "I find this to be beyond mean, but I agreed to tell you since I'm not busy going headlong into laughing until I die. A man from the Department of Inheritance Law, a small office at the Ministry of Magic, came to Hogwarts to inform the Headmaster that Mr. Potter and Miss Granger have come into their inheritance."
"And what does this have to do with me?" Snape asked her.
"Did you happen to have some 'fun' when you left Hogwarts?" she asked him.
"What I did is none of your business," he said.
"Can you please use your damn brain, Severus," she asked him, "Both of these students came into their inheritance, I've summoned you and asked you this question. Could you please use your brain, once again, and put the pieces together."
"No, no, there's no way-."
"As muggles today would say, way," McGonagall said. "The results of your little 'fun' are setting right next to you."
Snape's eyes rolled in his head and he passed out.
"SEVERUS!" McGonagall cried out, coming around and reviving him.
"W-W-What," he said.
"You passed out when I told you why you're here," she told him.
"I-I, oh gods I'm a-."
And he passed out again.
"Oh honestly, men," she said.
"No, this can't be true," Harry told her.
"I'm afraid that it is," she said, "You and Hermione are siblings."
"But he looks like his father," Hermione said, "and I don't have anything that says that I'm Professor Snape's daughter."
"The Ministry official said that you, Miss Granger, have come into your inheritance last year, but the thing didn't alert them until your brother came into his. This is how it works in this case, it seems. Your status will be changed from Muggleborn to Half-blood. Once moron wakes up, I will be talking to him more."
"I don't like being Snape's son," Harry told McGonagall, "It's not fair! James should remain my father."
"Pot-Harry, I know that you don't like this but there's nothing that we can do," McGonagall said, "You were born of a union of Lily and Severus and Hermione was born of Severus and her mother. This also changes your living conditions."
"What do you mean?" Harry asked her.
"Since there is a living parent, even though he's passed out right now, you can not be returned to the Dursley's. I'm sure that your mother's family won't miss you."
"So I'm not going back," Harry said.
"No, you won't," McGonagall said, "Now why don't you both head back to Gryffindor Tower while I try and talk to Severus that won't include passing out."
They both nodded and left.
When McGonagall finally woke Severus up he looked as though the world had imploded. He looked down at his feet and said, "Why didn't Lily tell me that she was pregnant?"
"I guess she didn't want James to think that she considered you more important than him," she said, "But what we have now is a problem and you know it."
"And what problem is that?"
"What problem? You have two children, both of them in the house that you can't stand," McGonagall said, "The Ancient House of Prince does have protections against wizards going against the house. You're going to have to publicly give notice that you do have two children."
"I know that," he said, "But the other Gryffindor's aren't going to like it."
"And I'm the Head of Gryffindor House," McGonagall reminded him, "I have the power to make their lives miserable or have you forgotten that."
"You didn't do that when James and his friends were bullying me."
"Don't remind me of my past mistakes," McGonagall said, "Now I want you to spend time with them, like a father does. I believe that the next Hogsmead weekend is coming and Harry has told me that his Aunt and Uncle didn't sign his form. You could sign it and spend some damn time with them. I'm sure that Harry wouldn't mind."
"I don't know how to be a father," Severus told her.
"Then this is good practice," she said, "Also help Harry out during Potions and stop blaming Hermione for things. She's your heir, last time that I checked."
"Fine," Severus said.
"Oh and I get to be godmother," McGonagall added.
"And who signed you up for this job?" Severus asked her.
"Because I care about both Harry and Hermione equally," she said, "So that makes me a natural fit for a godmother."
"I've just entered the insane circus," Severus complained.
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"Are you okay, Harry," Hermione asked him.
"Do I look like I'm okay?" Harry demanded and when he saw Hermione biting her lip, he added, "I'm sorry, Hermione, I didn't mean to take it out on you. It's just, Snape's our father. The man that's hated us since the moment we arrived is our bloody father."
"He didn't seem to know this truth," Hermione told him.
"Maybe mum knew how rotten he was," Harry said.
"Well she must have cared about him to go to bed with him," Hermione said, "And I don't even understand how my mum didn't know that the man that she was with was a wizard."
"He probably wasn't dressed like he is," Harry said.
"Well, even though this was a shocking thing, I'm glad to know that I have a brother," Hermione told him, "I was getting tried of being an only child and you can finally get away from the Dursley's."
"Yeah, that's the only good thing about it," Harry told her, "And I'm happy to have you as a sister."
"Thanks," Hermione said and she put her head on his shoulder.
When the rest of the class came back from Magical Creatures Ron at once wanted to know what McGonagall had wanted. Both Harry and Hermione knew that Ron would most likely explode if he found out and probably hate them.
"Professor McGonagall wanted to know if she could have our forms," Hermione lied.
"And what did you tell her?" Ron asked.
"Well I handed mine in but Harry said that he still didn't have his signed," Hermione said.
"Bummer," Ron muttered.
"Yeah, I know," Harry said, "Look, can we not mention Hogsmead. I don't want to be reminded that I'm not going…ever."
"Sure, Harry," Hermione said, feeling sorry for her brother.
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"So what are you going to do, Severus?" Lupin asked when Severus told him what McGonagall had revealed to him.
"I don't know," Severus said, "I mean, Harry is my son and Hermione is my daughter. The Dark Lord would hunt them down if their not under the protection of the Noble House of Prince, but I'm now even more afraid that Black will kill them for the Dark Lord."
"I'm going to agree with you on that," Lupin said, "But I think that they should be under the protection of the Noble House of Prince, just for their safety."
Severus nodded and then said, "I need to head to Gringotts, there's something that's in the Prince vault that I now have access to."
Lupin nodded and Severus got up and left.
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A/N: Things are going to have to change for Severus and how he does things in his classroom. It's going to take time for Harry to get use to being Snape's son, but, at least, he's fine with Hermione being his sister. I think that shows how powerful their bond is. Another note: I'm still waiting for the seven reviews for my first story and I will have it uploaded when I reach that goal.