A/N: Wishing everyone a happy Christmas, and here's a carol for all to celebrate with. The syllables have to be abused a bit when sung, and also note that "I watch you sleep" corresponds to "five golden rings". I do not own Twilight. I apologise for any offense. And have fun. Spread it with your own discretion.
For those who don't know, Cedward, or Cedward Cullory in this case, is the name Edward Cullen combined with Cedric Diggory. It is a term often used to describe the result of mistaking one character for the other, since in the movies they are both played by Robert Pattinson. For instance, when someone writes a Harry Potter fanfic involving Cedric and an OC, but in actual fact has written a story about Edward Cullen and an OC, 'Cedward' may be appended to the 'Cedric' in the story. It is not, I repeat, NOT a pairing. Yet.
On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me:
"My name is Cedward Cullory!"
*
On the second day of Christmas my true love said to me:
"You smell tasty,
And my name is Cedward Cullory!"
*
On the third day of Christmas my true love said to me:
"I read minds,
You smell tasty,
And my name is Cedward Cullory!"
*
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love said to me:
"I'm really fast,
I read minds,
You smell tasty,
And my name is Cedward Cullory!"
*
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love said to me:
"I watch you sleep,
I'm really fast,
I read minds,
You smell tasty,
And my name is Cedward Cullory!"
*
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love said to me:
"I have super strength,
I watch you sleep,
I'm really fast,
I read minds,
You smell tasty,
And my name is Cedward Cullory!"
*
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love said to me:
"I drink lion blood,
I have super strength,
I watch you sleep,
I'm really fast,
I read minds,
You smell tasty,
And my name is Cedward Cullory!"
*
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love said to me:
"My skin is sparkly,
I drink lion blood,
I have super strength,
I watch you sleep,
I'm really fast,
I read minds,
You smell tasty,
And my name is Cedward Cullory!"
*
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love said to me:
"I'm pale and pretty,
My skin is sparkly,
I drink lion blood,
I have super strength,
I watch you sleep,
I'm really fast,
I read minds,
You smell tasty,
And my name is Cedward Cullory!"
*
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love said to me:
"I hate Jacob Black,
I'm pale and pretty,
My skin is sparkly,
I drink lion blood,
I have super strength,
I watch you sleep,
I'm really fast,
I read minds,
You smell tasty,
And my name is Cedward Cullory!"
*
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love said to me:
"Let me hear you breathe,
I hate Jacob Black,
I'm pale and pretty,
My skin is sparkly,
I drink lion blood,
I have super strength,
I watch you sleep,
I'm really fast,
I read minds,
You smell tasty,
And my name is Cedward Cullory!"
*
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love said to me:
"I would die for you,
Let me hear you breathe,
I hate Jacob Black,
I'm pale and pretty,
My skin is sparkly,
I drink lion blood,
I have super strength,
I watch you sleep,
I'm really fast,
I read minds,
You smell tasty,
And my eyes are the colour of peeeeee!"
And I told him, "Get away from meeee..."