So, my first fic on this site, whatsoever. The grammar and english may not be the top ten, but I've tried my best. This is just the prologue, more chapters are following. I'm thankful for reviews and all that. :)

Something To Believe In

Prologue

x

The snow was falling from the sky like it was the most natural thing in the world. And I guess it kinda' is, actually. You know, during christmas and all. Well, okay, christmas is yet twentyfour days away, but that's not keeping the snow from falling, now, is it? But I don't mind. It's so peaceful just sitting at the top of my balcony, wrapped up in a dotted blanket, a cup of coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other. The snow was looking like soft pearls melting in your hands.

Below my feet, or should I say my balcony, the cars were driving, filling the air with the sound of wheels touching asfalt and the smell of gas reaching for the stars. It's a dark night, off course, and you can hardly see the stars above your head. If it wasn't for the streetlights, you wouldn't be able to see your own hand. But yet I can see people walk around on the streets below, shopping christmasgifts, buying a cup of coffee or heading home from work. Heck, some may even be heading for work! I couldn't say I envied them, but atleast they had somewhere to go. Somewhere to be.

And here I am, freezing my butt off in the cold night while trying to ignore the thoughts having the party of the year in my head. I tried to stop listening to them months ago. Trying not to answer the silly questions about what could have and what might not have been if I just had some balls. Maybe I could wish for some for christmas?

Okay, for christmas I want;

1. Balls of steel.

2. A vacation from my brain.

3. Or maybe a new brain?

4. The love of my life.

That shouldn't be so hard, eh? It's not that I'm asking for much. Just some klichés and maybe even happiness, you know? Doesn't all people deserve to be happy? At least for just one day, this sacred time of year. Or mabe I don't deserve to be happy? Maybe I don't deserve to eat, to sleep an entire night without waking up sweating and screaming. Maybe I don't deserve to feel at all. Oh, stop that, Rei! You're being redicolouse. You deserve just as much as anyone else, to say the least.

I've been there for my friends, I've been there for my family, I've been there for anyone who has ever needed me. I've been studying, working, volunteering, donating small amounts of my salary to people from WWF and stuff like that. I have, through my twentyfive years on earth, been a good boy and a good citizen.

So why don't I deserve to be loved?

Maybe I'm just loving the wrong person.

As I take a new sip from ny now cold coffee, I can hear the distant ringing of a telephone. It's clear and cheerful tone is echoing through my apartment, bouncing around the walls like a ball. I let it ring, though. I always do.

Then silence meets me, but soon it's interrupted by my answeringmachine.

''Hi, you've called Yong's apartment! I'm not in at the moment, but if you have something on your mind you'd like to tell me, leave a message after the beep.''

Wich was followed by a loud beep, and then met by more silence. Since the door to my balcony was open, I could barely make out the sound of breaths on the other line. I've been getting lots of those lately, someone calling in the middle of the night just breathing. I've never bothered to care much, not about anything. A quick look into my messy kitchen could be enough proof of that. Dirty dishes lying all over the place, empty boxes from fast-food restaurants and the choking smell of old milk. There's even a sticky spot on the floor I don't bother getting rid of, even though I've lost a good pair of socks because of it's existense.

But then something really unexpected happens. Somehow, the person on the other line decides to say something.

''Uh, hi Rei.''

Wait, how did they get my number? And how do they know my name?

At first I don't recognise the voice, but it must be someone who knows me... Wait, everybody knows me. I'm Rei Kon, known blader worldwide, for crying out loud! Wait, that came out wrong...

''I was just wondering... Well, we were just wondering, if you don't have anything planned for Christmas, maybe you'd like to come visit us? You know? Catch up old times. It's been a while.''

From somewhere deep inside the depts of my mind, I recognized the voice. Not enough to tell who it was, but just barely to keep myself from getting frightened. Who was that?

''If you do, call this number and we'll talk.''

Then, there was a long silence. A long, long silence wich almost made me scared that they'd hung up. But then...

''We miss you. Bye!''

Left was only me and my small apartment, a cup of cold coffe with just a hint of sugar in it, and a cigarette long burned out. It took me minutes, maybe eternitys, to pick upp the phone and call back.

''Hey, it's Rei...''