Kids, I've realized we've discussed the most important events that led to how I met your mother but, there were a few crazy encounters I felt I needed to skip to get to that point. Will since you now know that story, let's discuss a few of my favorites I couldn't mention before. Lets call them the doppelgänger Sagas. If you recall we've, met a few of our look a like's previously, some we've passed in a glimpse like lesbian Robin. Others we had the honor of getting to know on a more personal level .Like the time stripper Lily and her scary Russian boyfriend ripped us out of 200 dollars each.
In late June 2012 your cousin Marvin was a healthy 6 week 10 lb boy,that your Aunt lily and Uncle Marshall had welcomed into the world. And needless to say they were both doing the two step about going back to work. Partially because they weren't ready and partially due to Alina also known as Jasmine or Stripper lily.
Our story starts in our old Manhattan apartment, I left the Happy New family.
"Lily for the last time, OK, you can't wish my mom to disappear to the Bermuda Triangle , either over seas or at the end of the street, though awesome it would be to see something like that happen. We just can't. At least not until I find a away to safely bring her back" Marshall bickered with his wonderful yet seemingly devious wife.
"And for the last time Marshall! I never said I wanted her lost" Lily corrected " I said to go down.. in a plane... in some remote never heard of before island, surrounded by giant apes and ants. Kind of like a cross between Tom Hanks in cast away and King Kong." Lily grabs Marvin's diaper bag and places it at the wheel of the stroller.
"She's Marvin's grandmother , and has every right to see him just as much as your father". Marshall picks up his infant son from his crib and proceeds to dress him in his father and son outfits Ted had purchased him ,in honor of Marshall's fatherhood. It was
A Star Wars theme black and white windsy saying the force be with you on both of their backs and on his front was printed boldly I AM YOUR FATHER and Marvins saying NOOO.
" My father is more than welcome to join her also, I'll consider it their gift to me.. one big out of Lily's life family island reunion" the thought of it put a smile on her face briefly.
" yea you should be more concerned what could happen if they were actually left alone that long together"
Those words cringed and echoed in Lily's head. Suddenly her mind started wandering and thoughts flashed thru her. Erick's mother and her dad getting close, drinking coconut milk under the stars, her in a grass skirt and him naked.. with only her hands to cover his lower half. She shivered "that's a sight I'll never unsee"
"What's that?"
"Nothing...so I'm going to the school today to pick up a calendar, new class roster and to meet the new parents and children for the upcoming year."
" Don't they usually do that sort of thing a week or two before school starts not when it ends?"
"Yea but a lot of the teachers wanted to get it out the way now and focus on something more important in the beginning of the year"
"Like class activities and getting to know the kids?"
"Like drinking with friends and spending time with our son you say ?, exactly" she corrects sarcastically.
"And what are you and Marvin doing today?" she's reaches over to play with the tiny tots dangling toes in the stroller.
"Will moms plane should be flying in soon so where just going to go meet her at the airport. "
"Surprise, surprise no broom" Lily mutters under her breath.
"What's that?"
"Nothing, anyways you two have fun" She leans into kiss her young child and husband.
As Lily exits the apartment building to the streets , she's notices a few people handing out flyers. The first one from a band called Lime Disease was being handed out by a gentlemen in a brown suede vest with a camel colored silk back and fedora to match with peacock feathers. "Come see us at OKAYS! Grand reopening Tonight, half off admission and 3 dollar drinks til 11." He attempts to pass lily a flyer. "No thanks, got school" she smiles and rushes pass.
Another a lady with light blonde hair and braids who was definitely a casual "sandwich " eater was wearing a blue and yellow flowered romper, preaching about save the environment. " Save Mother Earth at our capture green fever drum circle tonight we've got herabal tea and herbs!"
"Oh..,no, sorry.. school, you know " Lily nervously passes by her as well.
A lot of sick names beginning with green today, she's thinks to herself. Hopefully Marshall passes by and doesn't take our son out on a green run with Hannah Montana all grown up over there.
And last a lady wearing an all black uniform with a single leaf on the pocket of her shirt, clearly handing out something work related.
"Hi there, " she greets cheerfully with a broaden smile ,showing a perfect set of teeth. "Where a new massage parlor opening up and was wondering would you interested in today! only a chance to receive our complete Bliss! Package, a value of 1,345 dollars. This includes a free facial, mud bath, mani-pedi and 45 mins Swedish massage with complimentary snacks." The lady holds out a flyer infront of the tempted lily.
Lily looks back at the two people she already passed , who were seemingly very interested to hear her answer. She didn't want to come off rude being though she passed up their offers but this was clearly something that's wouldn't happen to her again in her lifetime.
"Is it possible I can come back after school?" Lily inquired
"I'm sorry but no, where only taking in people til 12 today"
Lily stares at her watch. Already 11:15. She knew she would be in school til well past 3.
"Only til 12 you say?"
"Uh, huh" the masseuse smiles" plus where giving away 500 dollar gift cards to the first 10, a grand prize give away of a 2013 Toyota Corolla and just for coming you and a special someone will receive a gift certificate for a future visit of your choosing at WEEDS! (The name of the massage parlor)"
Lily looks back one last time at the two people she passed and gives them the sad eyes and pouty lips. They look at her with a smile and thumbs up.
"Go for it Lily, you deserve it" says the hippie girl
"Yea especially for pushing out a watermelon sized Erickson, even though you didn't have the hips for it" says the band member. At least that's how it happens in her head.
"I'm sorry, .. but, school" she chuckle sadly.
Just as she's getting ready to turn away. Lily quickly turns back and grabs the flyer , she takes off running down the street screaming back "I DESERVE THIS !"
Meanwhile backstage at the Lusty Leopard our look alike Alina aka Jasmine aka stripper lily was arguing with her scary Russian boyfriend and bodyguard Arvydas.
"This is not all , or what I want to do for the rest of my life" Jasmine Screams at Arvydas in their native tongue." You promised me when we came to a America, I would be a big a star"
"You are a star Jasmine" Arvydas attempts to calms down his beloved." 6 days a week from 5-5, men worship you... like! A star and throw you their wallets..literally!" He holds in his hand a wallet from patron obsessed with the Lily look alike, he opens it up to read the name on the identification card " William aka "scooter" NY Native 31 and organ donor, imagine how much we can get for his kidney alone". Aggravated Jasmine grabs the wallet from his hand and throws it against the wall.
"I meant real fame, real money and real worshipers. Not this lusty child's plaything. These men are like babies, taking from them is way too easy."
"But, darling we can't afford to right now, we still owe the Russian Brovalski for getting us here in the first place" he pleads. (Kids, the Russian Brovalski is basically a mob or gang.. in the circus)
"Her eyes widen with a fiery inferno and disgust , with a tight mouth she mutters" I..don't..care! If I was a big star like you promised our debts would have been paid off before we even set foot on American soil" She forces him up against the wall and he trips into the chair that hit his legs." Give it a little more time Jasmine Darling" he stretches his hands out to receive her, only to be surprised with a index finger pushed to the center of his chest.
"No, no more of this waiting will I waste here or with you Arvydas". Jasmine grabs her trench coat hanging above his head on the wall and throws off her wig.
"Where are you going Jasmine doll?" Arvydas weeps
"Don't call me that" she springs back at him " And I'm going to do something you obviously couldn't for me. To find stardom on my own." She turns around and walks from back stage to center floor, leaving a weeping and dismayed Arvydas behind. On the floor she bumps into her favorite guest.
" Hey Jasmine not to rush the wallet screening that Arvydas said was very important , cause .. will you know I trust you guys completely. And the money is definitely of no concern you can keep it. I was just wondering if I could get my ID back and Allergy card? cause I'm suppose to carry it with me at all time." Scooter takes a second to gaze upon his puppy love idol for a second, only to realize she removed her fake long red hair with the pump rock locks. "Oh, I see you have the same fire kissed natural red hair with a touch of cola black too, just like her... I love you" Scooters words rush together in an effort to not scare off his replacement lily. .
"This is goodbye lusty boy, I leave here for better life , somewhere new " Jasmine says in her best English but still with a thick Russian accent she couldn't shake. "But for good times , I give you goodbye show." She opens her trench coat to reveal her hot pick negligee and fish net stockings with black leather gogo boots. Scooters mouth drops and mumbles repeatedly, eventually having to sit down back in the same chair he was in for the past 3 hours when Jasmine first walked into the club for her shift.
She's closes her coat and walks past her patron and out the front door vowing to never see that place again.
As she bustles along the streets and catches the bus, her mind wanders. Would she ok? All she's ever known is Arvydas and the lust leopard for the past 5 years. Where will she go? She's never been as far as the lusty leopard not without him anyway. And where does she start on her journey? The Brovalski made her famous back in Russia they made her feel she could make it big anywhere, and yet she hadn't since moving to America. She had no skills , no real education ,not even her own ID. She was using the name of an 86 year old widow who suffered from dementia.
With all her thoughts in mind and nothing with her but the clothes under her coat. Jasmine found her self in a nice part of town walking the streets of Manhattan being gawked at by some strangers. But, welcomed by a warm smile from others. One in particular just happened to be Marshall Erickson, who confused the stripper for his wife.
"Will hey honey, what are you still doing here I thought you were heading to the school " He opens his arms to embrace her as though they haven't seen each other in such a very long time. And kisses her on the cheeks . He steps back to examine her feeling something was a miss, "Lilypad were you wearing that when you left the house earlier? "
Jasmine looks at the well dress man, confused herself but ,intrigued she's goes along with him, and thinks .What did she have to loose.
" I change for you, clothes earlier were to constricting"
Marshall listens to her recognizing the accent" Are you playing stripper again?" He asks in a low tone almost a whisper.
"Baby I told, before Big Fudge! Loves surprises but you gotta let me know a head of time so I can get the suits out of dry cleaning. But maybe we can try later when I get mom from the airport" he steps back and claps his hands together, as if he had a sudden epiphany. " By the way I'm going to need you to be home later til mom gets settled in her hotel room, I have to head back to the office to send off some paper works for the enviormental studies program"
Office! Jasmine thinks , her eyes widen suddenly more interested than before. Just as she looks away towards the street a bus passes by, with this mans face on it, but having a very handsome mustache.
This is it .she thinks ,my ticket to stardom. She smiles and nods his way" So you important man?"
Marshall grins bashfully" will I am to many important creatures in the wild, but mostly to you and Marvin"
He reaches over to the stroller carrying his infant son whose cooing in the cutest way.
Jasmine looks at this as an opportunity for a business venture and makes her move. "What say I and you, go somewhere for fun time and for 60-40 split"
Marshall excited by the idea and confusing the affection for playful flirting replies back with the same foward gesture.
"Will, not now I got to get my mom remember?"
"Bring mom" Jasmine insists " whatever makes you happy"
Marshall bursts to a smile so wide it couldn't be contained and he lets out no more than the sound of a mouse going eek
" I am so happy to hear you finally say that"
"So deal then" Jasmine attempts to seal the agreement " for 80-20 split" with a slight adjustment .
"Oh baby you know with marshmallow it'll always be 100% " Erick boasts
Over whelmed with excitement and beside herself Jasmine exclaims with a warm embrace. And Erick happily accepts it.
"So we go to your place, da?"
Just as Jasmine getting ready to take Marshall arm in arm, a woman fastly approaches straight towards them.
Who is she ?, a rival perhaps? Jasmine holds steadily to her new business partner.
The woman, with dark brown hair in a pink summer dress and white thin blazer speaks " Lily?, what are you still doing here?" She smiles " we are so going to be late meeting the kids and parents at the school". She pulls at her arm taking the supposed Lily
Away from her hubby. " Marshall, I'm sorry but, you don't mind if I steal away the lovely lady in your life, do you?"
Jasmine consistently shakes her head side to side, giving the insuation she didn't want to go.
"Will of course not Carrie, I have to pick my mom up anyway " Marshall blows her a kiss. " I love you Liliypad and will see you soon." Marshall takes the stroller in hand and turn and walks the other way. And gets into the rented vehicle, he purchased for the occasion.
"Oh my god Lily you are such a lucky woman, I only wish I had a guy that great" Carrie awes over him. Then turns the opposite direction with her in arm.
As Jasmine watched the clean cut, nice dressed man named Marshall walk away from her. Again she could only wander to herself. Where was he going? Where was She! Going? Those questions circled in her brain but the one that mattered most was, how soon could she make it back to him?