She wasn't really sure exactly why she was so upset, now that she took the time to think about it. It was just that she'd walked into the Common Room and seen him kissing her under the mistletoe, and something inside her had just snapped. She had promised herself a long time ago that she would never let it slip to him exactly how she felt about him, and now she had inadvertently done just that while also announcing it to the whole of Gryffindor. Although when she really thought about it she'd also promised herself an even longer time ago that she could never feel this way about him. She sighed and banged her head against the wall, longing for the solitude of Christmas break, which began in a few more hours; then she remembered that when he had heard she was staying at school alone, he and his friends had quickly signed up to stay as well to keep her company. Which meant there really was no escaping James Potter.
"James. What exactly are you doing? In the middle of the common room? With my best friend?" Lily asked, trying to keep her tone even. She felt rather like she was about to panic and fly into a thousand pieces at once.
"Mistletoe," James said, with a grin and a nod towards where the stuff was tacked on the ceiling, obviously not catching onto the slightly crazed look in Lily's eye.
Lily glared at the offending weed, willing it to spontaneously combust. "Well keep your antics to yourself in the future. Some of us don't wish to walk in here and be assaulted by visions of that."
"Lily." Nancy started in the calming tone she reserved for when her best friend was being truly batty.
James was frowning, just realizing that something was wrong. "Lily, it was only a bit of holiday fun."
"Nothing like celebrating the holidays by watching your best friend kiss the bloke you fancy." Lily snapped. "But I reckon it's all okay, since it was in the name of holiday fun after all. No harm meant. Let's just see how many hearts we can actually hear snap because of that damned weed Sirius nailed to the ceiling. I hear it's actually an audible sound, quite loud like the crack of a whip. How many people this holiday season will kiss someone they aren't dating and cheat on their boyfriend or girlfriend in the name of the holiday spirit? Sounds like the perfect holiday pastime to me. It's despicable, really."
Lily was shouting by this point, and the entire common room was silent, listening to what she had just said. Whispers broke out around the room, bets were placed on whether Lily really did fancy James or if she was just speaking figuratively, but all that Lily cared about was the fact that she felt as if she'd been punched in the stomach and her voice was getting all thick like she was about to start crying.
"Lily." James said, feeling quite helpless at the hurt look on her face. Something he had no doubt was his fault, though he was astonished by the knowledge that something as innocent as kissing Nancy under the mistletoe would hurt her so much. Nobody could have prepared James for this moment of revelation, when he realized the girl he'd fancied for so long now felt the same way about him. Even more astonishing was the fact that he may have screwed up his chance with her before it even truly started. All because of a little sprig of mistletoe.
"Lily, I didn't-" Nancy started, but it was too late. Lily had already disappeared out of the common room, obviously on the verge of tears. Nancy shifted uncomfortably. "Sorry about that. I'd go after her and explain, but I never can find her when she runs off like this. She'll come back eventually, you know." Nancy clapped James on the shoulder. "She's going to be really embarrassed by what she said when she comes back you know. Try and go easy on her."
James sighed and closed his eyes briefly. "The only question now is do I go and talk to her now, or wait and run the risk of her coming up with some crazy explanation?"
"If you know where she hides, then I'd say now." Nancy snorted, heading over to sit with Sirius, Remus, and Peter. "You know how hard she is to talk to once she's got an idea in her head."
James groaned and slowly followed Lily out of the common room. This was going to be one hell of a Christmas Holiday. He paced outside of the room of requirement, which she'd shown him only a few short days ago. He'd been amazed that she knew a secret about the castle that he had not discovered, and appeared to have kept it from even her best friend for seven years. It had amazed him even more that she was so eager and willing to share this same secret with him now. So as James reached for the door handle, he felt a little like an intruder, almost as if he were breaking her confidence in him.
"Oh, it's you." Lily said, barely glancing in his direction. She was curled up in an armchair that faced the window, for once ignoring the magical shelves of books that you could never read all of, because they replaced themselves with new books every time you left the room.
"Of course it's me." James said, closing the door behind him and sticking his hands in his pockets. "Who did you expect?"
"I was hoping for nobody." Lily muttered, laying her head on her knees, which were tucked up in front of her and being hugged tightly. "I'm sorry I yelled; I feel like an idiot."
"I'm not sorry you yelled." James said.
"Why? You didn't deserve it. Nor did Nancy. I'm just a selfish twat and had to go get in the way of everything. Let's just forget it all happened."
"Can we not?" James asked, perching tentatively on the armrest of her chair. "Because if we pretend it didn't happen, then I wouldn't possibly know that you feel the same way about me as I do about you. Which is why I'm not sorry you yelled."
"What?" Lily said, glancing up at him. "I'm so confused. You kissed Nancy, so I assumed-"
"No." James shook his head, his eyes not leaving hers. "You were wrong, Lils. It was only a friendly, innocent kiss between old friends, meant as a holiday tradition and neither of us thought of it as more. And then I saw your face; I reckon it would be the same for me, coming in and seeing you kiss Sirius under the mistletoe. I never dreamed that it would hurt you, Lily. You have to believe me."
"I do." Lily said, struck by some chord in his voice, or the truth of his statement shining in his eyes.
"Look." James said with a small smile, gesturing at the plant that was growing inexplicably out of the ceiling, the room answering his request. "Mistletoe."
James leaned down from his perch on the arm of the chair to kiss Lily, her hands slowly finding their way into his hair, and his to her waist. He stood up and pulled her closer to him, never once breaking away. When they finally pulled apart, the smile on her face echoed the one on his.
"Was that just holiday tradition?" Lily teased, knowing the answer was no. She could tell by the way he looked at her, and tucked her hair behind her ear.
In reply, James tugged her out from under the mistletoe and kissed her once more, and suddenly Lily had the strong desire to cultivate mistletoe by the cartload and market the wonderful stuff. But she found she'd much rather kiss James Potter instead.