Chapter 1- Only the Name Remains

Lucas stood in a group with his frat brothers, all ready to start chugging their beer, the crowd around them chanting the name of who they believe would win. Chants of "Mad Dog! Mad Dog!" could be heard from a rather large section of the crowd.

It was no secret that Lucas Friar had undergone a dramatic personality change in the last month. Gone was the most mature guy in the fraternity... in his place was "Mad dog"... an obnoxious party boy who didn't seem to care about anyone but himself.

His old friends would be hard pressed to recognize him. He had bulked up courtesy of spending several hours in the gym every day. His grades had fallen far below expectation and in a move guaranteed to shock even his best friend, Lucas now sported the start of a linear tribal tattoo on his right shoulder.

Only Lucas knew the reason for his new persona... knew that it was all his own doing.

Just as the chugging contest was about to begin, a murmur spread through the crowd. As heads turned, the wolf whistles started, followed quickly by an elbow in the side. "Check out that Angel. I'd like to know all her secrets" Lucas rolled his eyes as the guys egged each other on. Lucas demanded that the group get back to what they were doing when the white feathery tip of a wing caught his attention. He turned his head to bellow out a rude comment when the pounding of his heart caught his attention.

It couldn't be... could it?

As the owner of the wings turned in his direction, his heart stopped when he recognized Riley. His Riley looking as gorgeous as ever. Without realizing it, he stepped forward to intercept her when her gaze met his and much to his dismay, looked right through him. It was in that moment he remembered... she was not his Riley anymore... she was his ex and he was the one who made that nightmare his reality.

Riley had debated whether she should go to the party. Her heart wasn't really in it but she didn't want to give Lucas Friar the satisfaction of her staying home. She hasn't caught so much as a glimpse of him since he broke her heart. He swore he'd love her forever... funny how forever ended shortly after college started. It was then that he pledged Immadick and so are U or whatever the heck it's called... she knows that's not the name but it makes her giggle so in her mind? It fits.

Suddenly, having a steady girlfriend wasn't what he wanted... essentially, she wasn't what he wanted anymore.

But he didn't just dump Riley, he dumped their friends too. They haven't seen him since the night of their breakup...

Having spent weeks creating her costume (she created his too before destroying it with a pair of kitchen scissors in a fit of rage) and tired of moping around wondering where it all went wrong... she agreed to attend with her sorority sisters.

As she walked in and looked around, she knew she wouldn't be staying long. She was not a big partier and she hated to be around people whose main concern was how hammered they could get. The catcalls made her uncomfortable and she did her best to ignore them.

The closer she got to the center of the room, the more her heart started to pound. It had been months since she felt the electricity she always felt when she got near Lucas. She looked around quickly but didn't see him anywhere.

She took a step forward and bumped into someone... as they turned, her heart stuttered, stopped then fell to her stomach, which in turn fell to her feet.

Dressed only in black pants and a pair of black wings, stood Lucas. He stood there like the embodiment of a fallen angel. While everything on the outside had changed, his eyes had not. Since the day, they met, they have always been able to speak volumes without saying a word. As a matter of protecting herself, she refused to meet his gaze, instead staring at something just past him. She wasn't exactly sure what she was protecting herself from... fear of emptiness in his eyes? Contempt? Fear that he would see the secrets in her eyes?

His hair was a lot longer now. Gone were the short little spikes she loved to run her fingers through. One of the tactile things she loved the most was playing with his hair, whether it was while they were kissing or when he was resting his head in her lap...she would run her fingers through it...stopping occasionally to massage his scalp as well.

His shirtless torso revealed that his body had grown stronger. While she didn't act like your typical college freshman, she was still a woman. She'd be lying if she said that she didn't realize or respect the new changes to his physique. She had always felt safe in his arms and the visible additions made her long even more for her safe haven.

On his shoulder was the start of a tattoo. Some lines had been filled in, others were still just an outline. Oh, how her fingers itched to trace those lines.

It only took a second for her mind to catalog all of the physical changes he had undergone.

What she couldn't see and was desperate to know? What brought about these changes and did he only change physically? At his core, was he the same Lucas Friar she had always known?

Lucas might not want to be with her anymore but that doesn't mean she wanted him to suffer... much. No matter how far apart they are... he will always have a special place in her life. He was the first boy she ever liked, her first date, her first kiss, her first boyfriend, her first and to this point only, her first love and her first heartbreak.

As she begins to move past him, he whispers "Hi", looking at the ground she whispers "Hey" and as that word leaves her lips it's as if the world stops. They are both momentarily stunned, each waiting for the other to say something, do something... anything at all.

It was a mere second or two but to them it felt like hours. Riley was lifting her head when Lucas was suddenly surrounded by his frat brothers again. In between their chants for "Mad Dog to chug it" were prepubescent howls of "Mad Dog is on the loose" and "Look out ladies, the Mad dog is in heat." Riley walked away from the crowd shaking her head slightly... if someone had bet her $1000 she would have said there is no way Lucas Friar would behave like that. At least the Lucas Friar she had known wouldn't have. This Lucas? She doesn't know and honestly doesn't want to.

She spots her friends in the corner when Matthew yells out "Riles! Get over here Matthews you little minx." Riley smirks at his over exuberant exclamation as she joins them at a corner table. Matthew stands up, wolf whistles and twirls her around so he can look at her costume.

"Damn girl. That costume should be illegal... you are smokin'!" Matthew clutches his hand over his heart and pretends to be having a heart attack. "How are you still single?!" Matthew asks as there is an abrupt break in the noise.

"I'm newly single. Seems my boyfriend... correction my ex-boyfriend felt that being tied down in college wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to be free to ummm... pursue other interests."

"Don't be lyin' to me girl. Your dumbass ex threw away Filet Mignon so he could sample at Betty's Buffet of Bimbos. He's not worth your time. Bless his heart he's a fool. Hang with me girl. We will find you a man who prefers quality over quantity. Grade A beef over chuck wagon chop. Champagne over..." Riley laughs as she listens to Matthew go on and on. He never fails to make her laugh, to boost her ego and tonight, to help keep the memories and tears at bay.

The urge to party left Lucas as soon as he saw Riley. It was the first time he had any contact with her since he ended things. She didn't call, didn't argue, didn't make up reasons to see him. She simply accepted his decision and walked out. Hell, she didn't even slam the door. Since he was inebriated at the time, he was quite grateful for that fact. Just as the sun broke the horizon the following morning, there was a heavy knock on his dorm room door. As he threw the door open, ready to tell the jackass to quit knocking so damn early, a box of his belongings was shoved into his chest. When he looked up from the box, he met the murderous gaze of Josh Matthews. Before he could utter a word, Josh delivered a right hook to his jaw and told him in no uncertain terms to "Stay the hell away from my niece asshole or you will long for the days when Tombstone was your biggest fear." Lucas, still drunk from the night before, simply rolled over from his place on the doorway floor, kicked the door shut and went back to sleep. In the days that followed, he simply chose to forget everything… except the next party. He ignored the calls, texts and visits from Farkle and Zay. Ignored the texts and calls from Izzy. He even ignored all contact attempts from Auggie. He simply ignored everyone outside of his frat brothers. They became his circle. In no time at all, his life was a cycle of parties every night and the gym every day.

But like a hamster on a wheel… he didn't know how to get the cycle to stop. Wasn't even sure if anything or anyone would be waiting for him when it did.