A/N: This is a songfic based on Things We Lost in The Fire by Bastille. I suggest listening to that while/before reading this story. Takes place directly after Deathly Hallows, but before the epilogue.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own Things We Lost in The Fire.
Things we lost to the flames
Things we'll never see again
Harry sat on his old bed in the Gryffindor common room. He was extremely tired, given that he had just defeated a Dark Lord, but sleep would not find him. He was too busy thinking about the thing he'd lost in the fire.
Hedwig, Mad-Eye, Remus, Tonks, Fred, Dumbledore, Snape, Dobby. The list went on.
But he could have saved them. He could have, but he didn't. He didn't save them, and he'll never see them again.
All that we've amassed
sits before us, shattered into ash
He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice Ginny glide silently into the common room. She sat down on the bed next to him and placed her hand on his shoulder.
"It's not your fault, Harry." But she didn't understand. It was his fault. He was being so selfish that he didn't even bother to save everyone from shattering to ash.
"It is," he barely whispered, but Ginny heard him.
"No, it's not. Harry, none of this is your fault."
"It is!" he screamed at her. "It's all my fault! I could have saved them but I didn't!"
He was shaking, and Ginny must have noticed. "No, Harry. If anything, you saved us. You killed Voldemort, and he would have just killed them anyway. You don't always have to be a hero, Harry."
As much as he didn't want to admit it, Ginny was right. He had a hero complex and he knew it. He was so convinced that he didn't save anyone, when really, he saved everyone.
"Let's go down," said Harry.
"What?"
"You heard me. Let's go to the Great Hall. I want to see everyone." So they went down.
These are the things
the things we lost
the things we lost in the fire fire fire
These are the things
the things we lost
the things we lost in the fire, fire, fire
Harry thought that he had wanted to see everyone, but he was wrong. He couldn't stare the families in the face while telling himself that it wasn't his fault.
They had all lost too much. The Weasleys lost Fred, Teddy lost his parents, and Harry lost everybody. He had to be isolated from everyone to keep from breaking down in a fit of guilt.
"No," whispered Harry when he saw all the Weasleys huddled around Fred's body, sagging on each other to stay upright. "No."
He turned, walked straight out of the Great Hall, and had no intentions of returning. He could hear Ginny calling his name, could hear the moans of grief coming from the families of the dead, and he could hear his walls crashing down upon him. He had spent so long building up his walls, and they were falling. He was collapsing in on himself, and he was suffocating. He turned a corner and slid down the wall slowly, letting his tears fall freely.
He had lost so much in the fire.
We sat and made a list
of all the things that we have
Down the backs of table tops,
ticket stubs and your diaries
I read them all one day
when loneliness came and you were away
Oh they told me nothing new,
but I love to read the words you used
Twelve, Grimmauld Place. A sad, sad place. Almost as sad as Hogwarts.
Almost.
Hermione had convinced him to come to Grimmauld, saying that it would "help him get the weight off his chest." Yeah, right.
"Harry," she said across the old, dusty table that sat in the kitchen of number twelve.
Harry looked up and raised his eyebrows, but he did not talk. He had not talked in awhile.
"Harry," Hermione repeated, "I hate seeing you like this. We need to do something to cheer you up."
And then, Harry spoke for the first time in months.
"Like what?"
Hermione looked surprised for a moment, but she quickly concealed it.
"Well, let's make a list."
"A list," Harry repeated. Hermione nodded. "Of what?"
"Of all the good things we have."
So Hermione got a pen and paper, and Harry sat still.
"We have Ron," Hermione suggested, and wrote that on the list.
"Ginny," said Harry. Hermione smiled and wrote down Ginny's name, too.
"Voldemort is gone."
"Malfoy's not a prat anymore." Hermione laughed.
"Bill and Fleur are happily married."
"I have a Godson." Hermione looked at Harry wide-eyed.
"What?" she gasped.
"Teddy Lupin. Remus made me his Godfather." Hermione looked ready to cry.
"Harry, that's... that's so sweet." Harry smiled. He hadn't eve seen his Godson yet; he was living with Andromeda. Yet he already loved him more than anything in the world.
"I found Remus's diary the other day," Hermione blurted. Harry raised an eyebrow.
"Where?"
Hermione showed Harry the diary, and left him alone to read it. He read the first entry, which was dated back to his third year.
Sirius is innocent. Harry is a very nice boy. He's just like his father. Now Sirius is on the run, and I don't know where he is. I know he's been sending letters to Harry, but he must only have time for him. He hasn't sent me anything. Yet.
It was short, and it told him nothing new. He already knew Sirius was innocent, and that Remus though he was like his father.
But he smiled anyway, because he knew that Remus had written those words. They were pure.
And he loved to read the words he used.
These are the things
the things we lost
the things we lost in the fire, fire, fire
These are the things
the things we lost
the things we lost in the fire, fire, fire
August fourteenth, 1998, was a sad day because it was the day Andromeda Tonks died.
She had lived a long life, and she died of natural causes, but it was still a death no less.
So on August seventeenth, 1998, Harry sat with Teddy Lupin at Andromeda's funeral. Teddy was too young to understand what was happening, so he bounced around with his usual turquoise hair.
But when he saw his Godfather's ashen face, he mimicked Harry's frown and turned his hair gray, making Harry smile.
After the service that took place at The Burrow, Harry, Teddy, and Ginny went up to her room. They played with Teddy for a while, and then he said his first word.
"Daddy!"
Harry's smile fell and he stared at Teddy. Teddy looked back at him. He wanted to tell Teddy that he was not his father, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't bring himself to take the proud grin off of his Godson's face and tell him that his father was dead.
So he said nothing for the time being, because he had lost too much in the fire.
I was the match and you were the rock
Maybe we started this fire
We sat apart and watched
all we had burned on the pier
You said we were born with nothing
and we sure as hell have nothing now
You said we were born with nothing
and we sure as hell have nothing now
Harry and Ginny sat in the backyard of The Burrow, concealed by a tuft of long grass. Harry unconsciously pulled up the thick grass and let it seep through his fingers. A ladybug landed on Ginny's outstretched finger and she giggled. The summer air was thick with dew and smelled of lillies.
"It's all over now," said Ginny softly. "It's finally perfect."
Harry shook his head. "No, it's not." Ginny frowned and sighed.
"Harry, what else do you—?"
But Harry silenced her with a kiss. He kissed her lips strongly and passionately.
"Now it is," he breathed. Ginny laughed and nestled her head in the crook of his neck.
"We were born with nothing, Harry. But we sure as hell have nothing now."
"That's not true," said Harry. Ginny raised an eyebrow. "We may have been born with nothing," Harry continued, "but we have each other now."
Ginny laid back on the sweet grass, taking Harry with her.
They didn't have Fred, Remus, Tonks, Dobby, Hedwig, Mad-Eye, Dumbledore, Andromeda, or Snape. But that was okay. Because they still had Teddy, and Hermione, and Ron, and Mrs. Weasley, and Mr. Weasley, and George, and Percy, and Bill, and Charlie, and Fleur. But most of all, they had each other.
And those were the things they lost in the fire.
These are the things
the things we lost
the things we lost in the fire, fire, fire
These are the things
the things we lost
the things we lost in the fire, fire, fire
Fin.