A.N. This is my very first Songfic ever. You probably don't know this Song, 'cause it's german. It's called "Wenn eine Hoffnung stirbt" sung and made by Peter Maffay. (You can translate it to know what he's singing about, it's really kind of depressing and fits into this scene very well.) It's a song from the musical/audio play Tabaluga & Lilli. This song reminded me so much of this scene that I HAD to write it. And I also wanted to write this scene anyway so I thought a songfic's fine too. I hope you like it, and please bear with me if it's not so good...
Disclaimer – I don't own FFVII.
When Hope Dies
„I'll come back, when it's all over."
That's what she said to him in his dream, before she went to the City of the Ancients all by herself. Now Cloud and his group were on Tiny Bronco and made their way to that city, too. But for Cloud it wasn't fast enough. He always mewled to get this thing to be faster and always asked how long it takes. Then finally they arrived there, once they found the Lunar Harp, to get through the sleeping forest.
The Forgotten City looked like an underwater landscape, but Cloud didn't pay any attention to his surroundings, he wanted to find his flower girl as fast as possible! No...She wasn't his. At least not yet. But he hoped that she'll soon be his. He realized his feelings for her recently and now that she was out of his reach, he realized it even more.
They all searched for her everywhere, but didn't find her. Cloud became extremely irritated, as the group wanted to rest and search for her tomorrow, but he let them. Everyone went fast asleep in one of these seashell-like buildings, but Cloud remained awake. He just couldn't sleep. Not that he knew that Sephiroth's near. Near HER and might going to kill her...He just had to find her as fast as possible!
Then he felt something. He felt the flower girls presence and heard her voice calling him in his heart. „Guys wake up!", he called everyone, while they awoke and went to him. „What is it?", asked Yuffie and yawned loudly. „Do ya know what TIME it is?", yelled Cid annoyingly, while Cloud turned to his friends. „Aerith is here...and so is Sephiroth."
„Wa, wa, wait a minute. Are you serious?", asked Cid, to make sure, while Cloud nodded. „But how can you tell?", asked Tifa.
„...It's not an excuse. I feel it in my soul."
„Then let's go!", said Cait Sith and the others nodded in agreement.
„If this is true, we must hurry. It can happen something terrible at any moment.", said Vincent „...Right. Let's hurry and find Aerith."
„Yeah, lead the way, spiky!", said Barret, while Cloud did as he was told. They went back to the giant seashell like building, with the lake in front of it, and found a hidden path, that led them down. They went downstairs and saw a small shrine in the middle of a lake and inside of it knelled a certain green eyed girl. „Aerith!", called Cloud and went into the shrine, after waving the others away.
Just as he arrived her he felt strange...He didn't have any control of his body anymore. He reached up and took the handle of his sword and held it in front of him. The ex-SOLDIER came closer to her and held the sword up above his head. She didn't move. Her eyes were closed and she looked like she was praying. She looked so peaceful...Cloud brought his sword down, about to slash her, but his friends hold him back by yelling:
„Cloud!"
„Stop!"
„What are you doing?" Cloud backed away from her quickly. „Ugh...What are you making me do?", he said. He knew that it must be Sephiroth who controlled him again and he hated that he was able to do it. The flower girl opened her emerald green eyes and looked at him, while smiling. All Cloud could do was staring into her glowing eyes that seemed to look straight into this soul. Those eyes always made his heart to beat ten times faster than normal, but he kind of liked it. But then Cloud saw a shadow behind her and looked up to see Sephiroth falling down, his sword raised. Clouds eyes widened and he wanted to pull her to him, but he couldn't move, nor could he speak to warn her. Sephiroth landed behind her and stabbed her with his long sword through her stomach.
Those few moments felt like hours to Cloud. His heart pounded loudly in his ears. Sephiroth, who let the sword in her body a bit longer just stared at Cloud with a sly smile on his face. The silver haired man pulled the sword out of her body and the young Cetra fell forward, her eyes closed again and the Materia in her ribbon, which is "good for nothing" fell down and bounced into the water beneath them. Cloud caught her, before she hit the floor, cradling her in his arms. „...Aerith.", he mumbled and shook her gently, hoping she would open her eyes again and smile at him, but she remained still. „This can't be real!"
Die Sonne steht so tief
und sie wärmt nicht mehr.
Den Namen, den ich rief
hörst du längst nicht mehr.
Cloud couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that Sephiroth actually killed her. There was still so much he wanted to tell her...so much he wanted to do with her, but now...This won't ever happen...Just before Sephiroth appeared, he wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to tell her, even if all their friends were here too and listened, what she meant to him. No matter what, or how, he wanted her to finally know how much he loved her. But it's too late now...and the warm feeling he always got, when she's near him was quickly replaced by a cold one...
Mich binden die Gedanken an.
Es hörte auf, eh' es begann.
Why didn't he do something? He was supposed to protect her! He was her bodyguard! But what did he? He let her die. He froze on this spot and did nothing, but watching her die and he hated himself for this. He knew it makes no sense to cause himself guilt, but he thought if he just was a bit faster., if he just pulled her out of harms way, he would've saved her and she would be still alive. But he let Sephiroth kill her, like he wanted it, too.
Was mir den Atem nimmt
ist ein Schuldgefühl.
Ich weiß, da das nicht stimmt,
doch das hilft nicht viel.
Und alles ringsumher bleibt stumm.
Es bleibt zum Schluss nur noch "Warum?"
Sephiroth began to talk about going north and that the flower girl will be soon a part if the planet. He also said that the Promised Land will be over the snowy fields and that he'll become a new being by uniting with the planet and also with...„Shut up!", yelled Cloud and interrupted Sephiroth. The blonde haired man bowed his head closer to the Cetra and trembled, her blood drenched his clothes, but he didn't care. He looked up to Sephiroth abruptly. „The cycle of nature and your stupid plan doesn't mean a thing!" He slowly turned his head back to the flower girls sleeping face. „Aerith is gone. Aerith will no longer talk, no longer laugh, cry...or get angry..."
Wenn eine Hoffnung stirbt
und alles in dir kälter wird,
dann bleibt dir selbst
nicht mal die Traurigkeit.
He held her body closer to his and bowed his head forward. „What about us...What are WE supposed to do?" He always wanted to be closer to her and hold her. But not like this. Cloud rested her gently on the floor and began to tremble. He felt some tears forming in the corner of his eyes, but fought hard to not let them fall. „What about my pain? My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning."
Wenn alles sinnlos scheint,
das Leben ist dein größter Feind,
dann hilft dir auch nicht einmal
mehr die Zeit.
Auch nicht die Zeit.
Sephiroth looked to Cloud. „What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me you have feelings too?" Cloud quickly stood up to face Sephiroth. „Of course! Who do you think I am?" The silver haired man began to laugh. „Stop acting as if you were sad. There's no need to act as though you're angry either." He raised into the air, looking down at Cloud. „Because, Cloud. You are..." He flew high up into the air and Jenova-LIFE appeared in front of him. Once he, Red XIII and Yuffie defeated Jenoca-LIFE they stood there in silence and looked at the sleeping flower girl sadly. Red XIII began to howl, Yuffie held onto Cloud and cried madly, Tifa knelled down next to her and touched her face and hair, before she covered her mouth, squeezed her eyes shut and ran off and the others stood there and just looked at her.
Und alles ringsumher ist stumm.
Es bleibt zum Schluss nur noch "Warum?"
The group left, while Cloud gently picked the flower girl up and carried her to the secluded lake. He felt like he went in slow motion. His eyes were fixated on the Cetras face. He stared at her intensely, as if she'll open her eyes by his stare, but her eyes remained closed and no one would see those green orbs ever again. Clouds heart pounded painfully in his ribcage. It practically screamed for her. Everything in him is screaming for her, but she won't reply of his screams. In this moments all hopes shattered like glass, and so did his heart. Since the first time he met her, he began to hope for a better future. Not just for the planet, but for himself too. She was the one, who pulled him out of his lonely, selfish mercenary being after all. He knew he can't do this alone. He needed her help to get this happy future. He just wanted to end this as fast as possible to spend the rest of his life with her, but as always fate didn't allow him this and took her away from him. Cloud felt like HE was stabbed moments ago, it was almost like he could feel her pain. It felt like Sephiroth cut a giant hole into his heart. No matter how he described it, it didn't change the fact that he was in pain and felt cold and lonely. And it wasn't just any pain. It was the worst pain he ever felt in his whole life. And as he carried her outside he also got a great feeling of emptiness, which overwhelmed, till he felt nothing anymore. All his feelings took the flower girl with her to death...
Wenn eine Hoffnung stirbt
und alles in dir kälter wird,
dann bleibt dir selbst
nicht mal die Traurigkeit.
Cloud and the group arrived the lake. The blonde went into the water, until it covered his waist. He held the flower girl above the water, but hesitated. Cloud didn't want to let her go...He rather wanted to die with her right here, right now. He couldn't help, but started to hate life. Life was cruel. And the planet itself was cruel for taking the last Cetra, the last planets hope away from him to the lifestream. But Cloud couldn't die now. Sephiroth still has to pay...to pay for burning his hometown and now he has to pay for killing her like this! But even if he killed Sephiroth, what will he do then? Even if he payed for all this, it won't bring her back, so why fight him? Then the planet will be destroyed, so what? But then Cloud remembered how the flower girl loved the planet. He had to save the planet for her. And he couldn't really hate the planet, though...His flower girl will be soon a part of it...and he could never hate her. The group watched him sadly. They knew how much her death effected him, but they couldn't imagine how broken he really was. Cloud still held onto her tightly, unable to let her go and he new that not even time could heal his wounds. He bowed his head closer to her face and kissed her forehead. „...I love you...", he murmured to her lifeless body and let her sank into the water a bit, still holding her. He watched her for a bit longer, before he released her. Cloud watched her sinking into the lake and tried to keep his control. He wanted to take her and pull her out of the water again, but he had to let her go and this caused him even more pain.
Wenn alles sinnlos scheint,
das Leben ist dein größter Feind,
dann hilft dir auch nicht einmal
mehr die Zeit.
Auch nicht die Zeit.
Dann hilft dir auch nicht einmal
mehr die Zeit.
Cloud watched her, as she sank deeper and deeper into the water. Everything around him went completely quiet. He didn't heard Yuffies cries, nor Red XIIIs howl, the silent prayers of Tifa, or anything else. He didn't even care about the cold water, or his wet clothes, as his eyes remained on the flower girls body. The only thing that left was: why?
Es bleibt nur "Warum?"
Why didn't she tell them about her plans? Why did she went to the Forgotten City all alone? He wondered if she knew that this would happen...that she would die here. He thought she wanted to meet him! Even though he still didn't get what she meant...
Bleibt nur "Warum?"
But most importantly was...Why didn't he do something to prevent all this? A great bodyguard he is...What bodyguard would let the client die? As everyone stood there in silence they noticed a light breeze around them. Since they arrived this city, they didn't felt something like wind. They mused it could be the flower girl, telling them she'll be always by their side, but Cloud either didn't notice, or ignored it. He was deep in thought, replaying every single memory he had shared with her. Their very first meeting, where she sold him a flower. Their official meeting in the church of Sector 5, after he fell from the Mako Reactor 5. Their journey through the planet. Their date in the Gold Saucer. And their experiences in the Temple of the Ancients. And the most bittersweet memory of all: the "great future" Cait Sith prophesied them...Cloud continued to watch the Cetras body sank deeper into the water, till she disappeared into the depths of the lake. Even though he couldn't see her anymore Cloud continued to stare into the water and wondered: Why did she even had to be a Cetra? If she was just a normal human, nothing of this would've ever happened and she might be still alive...But she was a Cetra and no one could change it, as much as Cloud wanted it. She was the last Cetra and now it's up to him and the others to save the planet. But he couldn't get the last thought off his mind: Why? And why AERITH of ALL people?
Es bleibt nur "Warum?"
