Title: The ARK Angels of DX and the Ten Bridesmaids
Author: Kaykyaka
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the WWE and TNA characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.
Ratings: K
Characters: Shawn, Cameron and Cheyenne Michaels, Amy 'Lita' Dumas Michaels, Hunter Hurst Helmsley, LC Helmsley, Aurora Rose Helmsley, Chyna, Trish Stratus, Melina and Johnny 'Nitro' Hennigan, Randy Orton, Carlito, Edge, Ric Flair, Batista, Torrie Wilson, the Hardyz, Ashley, Candice Michelle, Shelton Benjamin, Krystal Marshall, Maria, John Cena, Rey Mysterio, Angie Mysterio, Dominic and Aaliyah Mysterio, Vickie Guerrero, Sting, Kurt Angle, LAX, the Kliq and the TNA roster.
Summary: Krystal has narrowed her bridesmaids list down to 5 WWE Divas and 5 TNA Knockouts but will any of them make it to the wedding? Find out in the next adventure of the ARK Angels of DX.
Chapter One – Having Your Cake and Eating It Too
DX HQ, Stamford, Connecticut at 4pm:
Shawn and Hunter were at DX lnc going over stuff from this weeks RAW and Smackdown shows, there was no house show today so they had a chance to catch up on some paperwork, something the former main events weren't very used to but it was a side of the business they were both more than willing to learn. The build up to the Great American Bash was going very well and house show attendance figures were up, Rey Mysterio was back and Trish Stratus and Randy Orton were the hottest heel couple since Edge and Lita, things were going great.
"Kudos to Orton and the future Mrs. Orton and we should buy Rey Mysterio a fruit basket, their stuff has been amazing going into the Bash," Hunter said and Shawn nodded equally impressed with effort of the three brands this month.
"And to think it was all Shelton's idea to put Trish and Randy together," Shawn Michaels said with his feet up on Vince McMahon's former desk looking through the stills from Monday Night RAW while Hunter looked through the stills from Smackdown. Trish had gone from RAW to Smackdown sabotaging all of John Cena's matches for Randy Orton so the Legend Killer would go into The Great American Bash as the uber heel that everyone wanted to see John Cena defeat. Of course, that left very little room for Shelton Benjamin and Jeff Hardy, both of whom wanted World Championship matches against the WWE Champion and had both made their ambitions known to Shawn and Hunter many times, "What are we gonna do with the rest of the card?" Shawn asked Hunter who was sipping his water on the couch from the other side of the room.
"Edge vs. Undertaker vs. Batista for the World Heavyweight Championship," he said.
"And?" Shawn asked wanting to hear Hunter's next idea.
"Matt Hardy vs. MVP vs. Rey Mysterio for the United States Championship," Hunter added.
"Another triple threat?" Shawn continued and Hunter got annoyed with him.
"My ass vs. your lips for the Kiss My Ass Championship," Hunter replied and threw his water at Shawn who caught it before it could do any real damage, "Come up with some matches yourself if you're so smart,"
"We got the main event – John Cena vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship," Shawn said sipping Hunter's water, "CM Punk vs. Kane for the ECW Championship and Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix for the Women's Championship,"
"Add that to my card and that sounds like a pretty hot show to me," Hunter said.
"But what about Jeff Hardy and Shelton Benjamin?" Shawn asked.
"Put them in a match for the Intercontinental Championship," Hunter replied and Shawn sighed.
"Again? No I want Ken Kennedy vs. Carlito for the Intercontinental Championship," Shawn said.
"Fatal Four Way?" Hunter suggested.
"No," Shawn said.
"Then what?" Hunter asked frustrated.
"How about a 2 out of 3 Falls match, first match is a street fight, second match is a submission match and the third match is a last man standing match," Shawn suggested and Hunter smiled.
"I like it," he said getting excited, "The Great American Bash is going to be awesome!"
Shawn put his hand up indicating he wasn't finished, "There is one stipulation," he added and Hunter creased his brow in confusion.
"Stipulation?" Hunter said, "What?"
"The winner gets a shot at the WWE Champion at SummerSlam," Shawn finished and Hunter laughed, "What's so funny?"
"You really want those two to be Champion don't you?" Hunter said, "they're your favorites, admit it,"
"Its time Hunter, Shelton vs. Jeff is a gold standard feud no pun intended and if we add the WWE Championship to that, SummerSlam could have one of the best main events in years!" Shawn said and Hunter nodded.
"Well I'm not disputing that," Hunter said and Shawn smiled happy with the stills and the roster in general, "Its not enough that we're throwing Shelton a surprise birthday party he's main eventing SummerSlam for the first time in his young career, if beats Jeff at the Great American Bash that is,"
"Man this water tastes kind of sweet," Shawn said screwing the cap back on.
"I know I gave Aurora a sip and now it tastes like candy," Hunter said, "Must have been from when Jeff Hardy kissed her goodbye, that Rainbow Haired punk left Skittles all over the house, I've never been so glad to see someone leave my home,"
"What about The McMahons?" Shawn asked.
"Oh yeah, evil and rich or colorful and wreckless? Hmmm, I kinda miss Jeff now," Hunter said.
Shawn rubbed his hands together, "I'm excited about this PPV, let's go home I wanna tell Amy all about it," he said getting off Vince's old leather chair and heading towards the door and Hunter smiled.
"Are you excited about the PPV or about seeing your wife?" Hunter asked and Shawn gave him a beguiling smile.
"What do you think?" he answered and threw Hunter's water back at him and the Cerebral Assassin caught it and finished it closing the office door behind them.
At the Sandbox, 7pm:
The house was packed with WWE Superstars who were there to surprise Shelton Benjamin but there was an added bonus of seeing Amy who was getting bigger and bigger as the months went by.
"We miss you Amy, have the baby already so you can come back to work," Victoria said and all the Divas agreed.
"And leave my home, you must be crazy I love it here but its even more fun when you guys come around to visit," Amy said embracing the guys and gals of the WWE in turn.
"What you doing Hardy you don't need to hug Amy you're here all the time," MVP said to the Charismatic Enigma whose babysitting duties were officially over and was back on the road with the rest of the locker room.
"I think someone's jealous," Jeff Hardy said to MVP, "don't worry Montell you'll get a girlfriend someday,"
"Hey I got a girlfriend!" MVP replied embarrassed about his single status and Jeff teased him further.
"Don't tell me she's not coming right?" he said.
"No she's here, she's just going to the bathroom," MVP said and Matt Hardy rolled his eyes while Jeff laughed at the former United States Champion.
"There's no lying in this House of God Montell," Amy warned MVP.
"Sorry Big Red it's just not being Champion isn't very good for my sex life, girls are only interested in being with a Champion," MVP explained.
"I'm a Champion and I'm still single," Matt Hardy said and MVP rolled his eyes.
"That's not the kind of thing you wanna broadcast in a room full of people Matthew!" MVP replied and Amy and Jeff exchanged glances.
"Matthew, since when is MVP calling you by your full name?" Amy asked Matt.
"These two have gotten real close since I was away," Jeff explained putting his arm around Montell Vontavious Porter and Matt Hardy while Shad and JTG shook their heads.
"Yeah a little too close, ya'll both need to hook up bad, you know before the queer eye syndrome sets in," Shad said wearily and Amy patted Shad on the shoulder.
"Two guys with no girlfriends, it's only a matter of time," she said jokingly and Cryme Tyme nodded while Matt and MVP felt like throwing up.
"That's it we need girlfriends Matthew, who do you know that's single?" MVP said and Matt turned around to Victoria who shook her head.
"No, you two are way too immature," Victoria said and MVP looked at Mickie James.
"With your attitude you'd be lucky if you got hooked up at all this year," Mickie James said and MVP sighed.
"We need to explore other avenues the Divas just aren't biting," MVP said.
"I agree, the girlfriend search begins tonight," Matt Hardy said and the two rivals swam through the Divas to find out who was available while Shawn put the last of the birthday decorations up.
"How does that look?" Shawn asked Hunter who was inspecting the sign from below, "Is the S straight?"
"I've asked myself that many times Shawn but after scoping your wife I'd say you definitely are straight." Hunter replied and Shawn rolled his eyes while Cryme Tyme laughed.
"What's with all the gay jokes?" Jeff asked, "All I'm saying is if ya'll gonna throw Shelton a surprise birthday party I better be getting one too, my birthday's just around the corner," Jeff Hardy said and Hunter huffed.
"Sorry Jeff no-can-do, your birthday's on a Sunday and we'll all be at church," Shawn said and everyone laughed.
"BURN!" Cryme Tyme said.
"So throw me a party on Saturday," Jeff said and Hunter scrunched up his face indignantly.
"Where do you get off asking us to throw you a birthday party on Saturday, like we don't have better things to do than to celebrate your birth, I'm still shocked you're still alive with that stunt you pulled on RAW this week," Hunter said and Jeff smiled while everyone gave him kudos for yet another death-defying stunt.
"I want three tiers on my birthday cake, one for each decade that I've been alive just like Shelton's," Jeff said and Amy knocked him on the shoulder.
"That's enough outta you old man, where's Shelton he should be hear by now, did you guys remember to pass the message along for him to be here tonight?" Amy asked her husband.
"Yes we did now will someone please tell me if this S is straight?!" Shawn demanded losing his temper.
"The sign looks fine dad now get down before you hurt yourself," Cameron said coming down from his room with LC and Cheyenne.
"Thank you son but I've done pretty well with ladders in my lifetime, say hello to everyone," Shawn said.
"Hello everyone," Cameron replied and everyone said hello right back, "Ya'll might as well go home because Shelton's not coming," Cameron said and Shawn looked down at Cameron in shock.
"What?!" Shawn cried and lost his footing on the ladder and fell off onto Cheyenne who caught him like he was a feather.
"Be careful daddy, this is not PPV," Cheyenne said putting her father back on his feet while everyone looked at her in amazement, then they remembered that she was the Girl with Phenomenal Strength.
"What do you mean he's not coming? I told him to be here because I had to talk to him about something important!" Shawn said his blue grey eyes lighting up more than lights at Christmas.
"He had a SCAB meeting that he couldn't get out of," Cameron said laughing a little which Shawn noticed.
"You mean Sting, Kurt Angle and Christie Hemme threw him a surprise party of their own," Shawn said and Cameron nodded thinking the whole thing was pretty funny and burst out laughing.
"I can't believe he's not showing up!" Hunter said in shock, "I told you letting Shelton hang out with TNA was a bad idea, what if he goes to Florida and never comes back?" Hunter complained to Shawn.
"I would never do that boss," Jeff Hardy said.
"Shut up Hardy because of you I can't get Aurora to sleep without covering her from head to toe in glow paint!" Hunter replied and Jeff went quiet for awhile before laughing out loud too.
"How do you know SCAB are throwing Shelton a birthday party?" Shawn asked Cameron.
"I got a text from Tristen asking me if I was coming," Cameron said still giggling along with LC and Cheyenne.
"Well you can't go!" Hunter said angrily.
"Can we go?" Cryme Tyme said raising their hands bashfully.
"Nobody can go!" Hunter replied and the other members of the WWE roster thought twice about raising their hands to ask if they could go to Shelton's birthday party in Orlando, Florida.
"After all that time I spent putting that sign up, Shelton's partying with TNA?" Shawn said emotionally, "I gotta tell you Cameron, this hurts!" he said sniffling and he pulled out his cell-phone and dialed Shelton's cell phone number.
At Universal Studios, Orlando, FL:
"Hello?" Sting answered picking up Shelton's cell which was lying on the table covered with confetti, streamers and some party hats.
"Steve, what are you doing answering Shelton's cell-phone?" Shawn demanded and the Stinger gestured to Shelton to come to the phone.
"Shelton your favorite half of DX wants to talk to you," Sting said and Shawn blushed.
"Hello?" Shelton said.
"I'm your favorite half of DX?" Shawn asked elated and Hunter slapped him around the head, "I mean Shelton, what are you doing in Florida I told you I had something important to talk to you about!"
"I just figured you wanted me to stop calling you about the WWE Championship," Shelton said.
"I wanted you to come to the Sandbox because me and Hunter have thrown you a surprise birthday party and all the WWE Superstars are here waiting for you!" Shawn said and Shelton's heart swelled.
"Really, I have two surprise birthday parties?" Shelton said clutching his heart, "I didn't know you cared?"
"What do you mean you didn't know we cared? Shelton you're one of the best wrestlers in the whole world how could you say that to me?" Shawn said and everyone looked at the Heartbreak Kid questioningly and Hunter tried to gloss over his best friend's rampant display of affection for one of his favorite young WWE Superstars.
"I'm sorry boss but you haven't exactly been nice to me lately, you're always ignoring my calls, telling me to back off. Kurt, Sting and Christie Hemme aren't like that, they can't get enough of me," Shelton said and Shawn scratched his head.
"Okay, I get Sting and Kurt their icons but how does Christie Hemme fit into SCAB?" Shawn asked.
"She's a Christian and she's hot that's enough," Shelton said and Shawn thought of a way to get Shelton to leave SCAB.
"Let me talk to Krystal," Shawn asked.
"Forget it Shawn, you're not going to talk to my fiancé and get her to think she can't trust me around Christie Hemme," Shelton replied and Shawn jumped up and down in aggravation.
"How sad is that?" Christie Hemme said overhearing Shelton and Kurt and Sting agreed sipping their non-alcoholic cocktails.
"Very sad," Krystal said clinking glasses with Christie Hemme, "Imagine if I couldn't trust one of my own bridesmaids,"
"Bridesmaids?" Shawn repeated overhearing Krystal, "Shelton did Krystal just say that Christie Hemme is one of her bridesmaids?"
"Yeah along with four other Knockouts and five WWE Divas." Shelton said and Shawn frowned, the WWE and TNA in the same room, how's that gonna work? He thought, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you boss but I couldn't let my clique down. I'll bring you back some of my birthday cake and share it with everyone in Minnesota tomorrow, it's got 4 tiers!" Shelton said.
"But your only 30 what's the 4th tier for?" Shawn asked.
"One layer per SCAB member, the first layer is Sting, the next tier is Christie, the third tier is Angle's and-"
"-And the 4th tier's Benjamin," Shawn said sarcastically.
"That's right, I've got a pretty cool clique haven't I? I gotta go they're gonna throw me up in the air for each year I've been alive I just hope I don't throw up on the new shirt Kurt Angle bought me!" Shelton said and hung up leaving Shawn in shock about the cake, the shirt and the bridesmaids list.
"SCAB made Shelton a cake with their names on it and get this – it's got 4 tiers!" Shawn said and everyone gasped.
"But ours has only got 3 tiers!" Hunter said panicking.
"I know they totally out-tiered us!" Shawn said competitively.
"Is he coming back?" Hunter said and Shawn nodded.
"He said he'll bring us all some cake in Minnesota tomorrow," Shawn said but Hunter wasn't impressed with that news.
"I'll tell SCAB what they can do with their cake, we should go over there and drag his ass back here to WWE turf!" he demanded.
"Don't be ridiculous, you can't stop Shelton from having friends outside the WWE locker room," Amy said.
"Amy with all due respect you're five months pregnant you can't see your feet from your boobs right now, how am I supposed to trust your judgment," Hunter said and Shawn raised his foot ready to execute a little Sweet Chin Music but Hunter ducked out of the way.
"It was probably Krys' idea," JTG said, "She probably wanted to be close to Shelton they are getting married in a few weeks,"
"We know that, that's why Big Kev offered her a spot in the Kliq so she could be closer to us!" Hunter said, "Now she's gone and made party arrangements for Shelton with the enemy and the enemy probably wants her to have the wedding in Florida too!"
"TNA are not the enemy, they're our competition there's a difference," Matt Hardy said.
"They are the enemy and if we're not careful TNA could pull a stunt like they did earlier in the year when they tried to get me and Shawn to join their roster," Hunter said.
"They didn't get us to join their roster we wanted to go to TNA to get revenge on Vince remember?" Shawn reminded Hunter.
"That's not how I remember it," Hunter said his memory failing him.
"But that's how it happened," Shawn reminded him.
"Okay you go ahead and ignore the facts but I smell trouble Shawn, big trouble," Hunter said.
"Well you better get used to that smell because Krystal's got bridesmaids from TNA and WWE," Shawn said folding his arms and the eyes of the male locker room swelled.
"TNA Knockouts!" MVP said making eyes with Matt Hardy who shook his head in agreement with what Montell was thinking, "Looks like we won't be single for the wedding Matthew!" he said and they slapped hands and did a little dance.
"What's up with them, three months ago they were killing each other now they're best friends?" Jeff asked Amy who was looking forward to seeing some of her old friends from the TNA locker room again despite Hunter's rant.
"Its like I said before, two guys no girlfriend, it's only a matter of time," Amy replied turning to her husband and she planted a long kiss on his cheek while caressing his waist, "Don't worry you won't lose Shelton, what's one tier when your boss is one of the greatest wrestlers of all time?" she said.
"She means me right?" Hunter said as Shawn lent his head on Amy's ignoring Hunter.
"If Shelton and Krystal's marriage turns out anything like ours he can have cake and his wedding in Florida too," Shawn replied and kissed his wife while Hunter shook his head.
"You're making a big mistake," he said while the ARK Angels devoured the cake that was intended for Shelton's Birthday Bash tier by tier.