Hey, so this is the other story I've been working on that's been floating around my head since the premiere. It's a different style than Diving in Together, but I hope you enjoy it all the same.

Please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: This is not mine. Anything recognizable belong to AWM and ABC. This is purely for entertainment purposes. NO copyright infringement is intended.

Those Three Little Words
Chapter 1: Kate

All I can hear are the birds chirping away outside. Well, that and my own thoughts whirring away inside my brain. As someone who is used to running around like a maniac on little food and even less sleep, I'm getting restless. It's nice to be with my dad; after mom died, we don't spend nearly enough time together. But being cooped up for a month is already making me go stir-crazy. I've been here ever since I was released from the hospital.

My chest still has a dull ache to it, but it is nothing like it was that moment when my partner – my friend – walked out on me. Sure, I told him that I would call him, but I didn't expect him to walk away so easily. I expected him to fight for me.

My thoughts stray to where they go so often these days. Any time my father leaves me alone – longer and longer as the days passed – I am brought back to that day. Every time I close my eyes, I see his face. The man who was like a father to me. The man who betrayed me.

But every time my eyes are open, I am assaulted with memories, some good and some bad, but the one that I revisit the most is the one that I wish that I could erase forever.

"You don't remember…the gun shot?"Castle asked, his pause giving everything away. I wanted nothing more to say 'Yes,' but I knew that I couldn't. I had already gotten myself into this lie, and I wasn't going to back out. Not now. Not after I told him that I don't remember much of anything. There was only one way to go.

"No," I said, my heart breaking. I've always thought that his eyes were expressive, but it wasn't until I say that flicker of hope die in his blue eyes that I realized just how much he shared with one glance. During the long pause, I had seen it in his eyes…the question that he really wanted to ask me. I felt it in my eyes – begging him to say it, so I wouldn't have to be the same one. "They say there are some things that are better not being remembered."

That was a low blow, even for me. But it had to be said. I knew that Castle would be coming the moment he heard I was awake, and I knew what I was getting myself into. I decided it long before he entered the ICU. But I had a moment of doubt, when he first walked in. How scared he looked, yet so happy. There was a split second where I didn't think I could go through with it. A moment where I thought I truly would tell him that I remembered everything.

Josh's kiss brought me back to my senses. He saved my life. He broke the law to keep me alive. And no one could compete with that. At least, that's what I tried to convince myself of.

I pushed the conversation further into a realm that I don't want to enter. I was setting him up, but he didn't know that. He just thought I was being vulnerable. Another moment of shattered hope for him. But my plan was meticulous – lead him into a conversation that I could easily back out of and cut off any communication until I could put all of it behind me.

"Kate—"

"Castle," I interrupted him, knowing this was the moment. It was now or never. "I'm really tired right now."

I could see the disappointment and annoyance in his eyes, but I didn't let him know how I felt. I used the poker face I had perfected over the years and used the guise of being drugged to get him to leave.

"'Course," he said, getting up from his chair. "'Course. We'll talk tomorrow."

Now or never.

"Do you mind if we don't?" There is was. There was no going back. "I just need a little bit of time."

"Sure," he said, still hoping I meant a couple of hours. "Sure. How much time?"

"I'll call you, okay?" I asked, lifting my eyes to his.

"Sure," he said again, moving towards the door. I wanted to call him back. I wanted more than anything to say, 'Castle, wait. I remember everything.' He would come back to my bed, and even though I looked awful, he would tenderly take my face in those big hands of his and he'd kiss me gently on the lips, reminding me of that kiss we shared outside of the warehouse months ago. But I couldn't. I'd already closed that door. I knew that I wouldn't talk to him again until I solved my mother's murder. Then, maybe then, I'd heal enough to see if he was still waiting.

He looked back once more, memorizing my face. I heard the door shut and I slowly closed my eyes. The magnitude of what I had just done hit me full on. The dull ache in my chest that was being muted by morphine was replaced with a pain that I hadn't felt in twelve years. The pain of my heart being ripped from my chest and torn into pieces.

The ache of the bullet wound has since nearly dissipated, but there is still that jagged hole from when I shut him out of my life.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when my father enters my room with a tray full of eggs, toast, and milk. Nothing acidic. No coffee.

"You hungry, Katie?" he asks, placing the tray over my lap.

"Dad, I can get up to go to the kitchen, you know," I tell him. I'm tired of being waited on hand and foot. There is nothing I want more than to be able to call up my favorite Chinese restaurant, and have them deliver my favorite dish. Nothing.

"It's only the morning, Katie. You should save up your strength for a short walk later."

I sigh, knowing I've lost this battle. I pick up a fork and put a miniscule bite of eggs in my mouth. They're light and fluffy, just the way I like them.

"Good girl," my dad says, and I'm suddenly brought back to a memory in such a distant past, that I almost forgot about it.

"Good morning, Katie Bug," my dad said cheerily, coming into my room. "Time for school."

I rolled over and felt my head pound. I could hardly move a muscle, let alone think about going to school.

"Katie?" my dad asked again. I usually got out of bed the moment he began talking, so he must have known something was wrong. I heard him walk over my bed and he pulled back the covers slightly. I shivered and whimpered in protest. He laid a cool hand on my forehead and it felt wonderful. "Katie, you're burning up."

I groaned and pulled the covers back over my head. I could tell he was going to the bathroom to get the thermometer, and possibly my mom. She was usually better in situations like these than he was.

"So Katie, I hear you're sick," came my mom's voice. I tried to answer her, but my throat was on fire. "It's okay, sweetie, mommy's here."

I gathered my strength to send her a withering glare. I hadn't called her mommy in years. I was eight years old. A big girl. I didn't need to call her mommy. She was mom, ma, or mother, depending on my mood.

"Right, sorry," she said, holding up her hands, feigning innocence. "Stick this in and don't move," she said, gently placing the thermometer in my mouth. It felt like a stick of ice, compared to my burning mouth. She sat with me and stroked the hair from my sweaty forehead while she waited for the mercury to settle.

After a couple minutes – what felt like the longest minutes ever – she pulled the stick from my mouth and tilted it until she could see the read out.

"Well, well, my darling, looks like someone here has gotten herself sick. You, young lady, have a fever of one-oh-two point nine."

I couldn't even answer her.

"Don't worry, I'll bring you some Tylenol. Let me just call the firm and let them know that I won't be coming in today," she said, getting up from my bed.

"No," I croaked. I didn't want her to miss work because of me.

"Katie, I'm not going to let you here alone with your father. Maybe tomorrow when the worst is over."

"Gee, great to know you have such faith in me, Jo," my father said from the door, chuckling. He was holding the bottle of Children's Tylenol and my favorite cup with water.

My mother rolled her eyes and went to my dad. "I know you're perfectly competent, but…" she trailed off.

"I'm just kidding," dad said, laughing. "I know you'd feel better if I were here. Go call your firm; I'll give Katie her medicine."

"Thanks, Jim."

My mom walked out of the room and my dad came to kneel by my bedside. He gently lifted me into a semi-sitting position so I could swallow the medicine.

"Does it have to be liquid?" I asked faintly. I hated the taste. It made me gag.

"Can you swallow a pill?"

"Of course I can, daddy, I'm eight."

"Are you sure you want to try the grown up pills?"

"Yes," I said, wanting to do everything in my power not to have to swallow the thick liquid.

"Why don't I cut up some chewables and you can practice on those," my dad suggested, pulling out the box from his pocket.

"Did you know I was going to ask?" I demanded.

"Katie Bug, you're a big girl, and I knew you'd ask sooner or later. So, look what else I brought."

He pulled out a pill cutter and showed me how it worked. He cut the first chewable into quarters and handed me the small box and another pink colored pill. "Here, you try."

I took the medicine in my small hands and pushed down. I felt a satisfying snap as the pill broke.

"Once more," he prompted. I repeated my motions and lifted the cover. I dumped the quartered disks as well as a considerable about of pink powder onto my dad's hands and he held up the glass of water. "Take one, and put it on your tongue. Take a sip of water and swallow normally," he instructed.

I took the first small piece and set it on the middle of my tongue. I took a sip of water and swallowed. The pill got stuck on my tongue and didn't move. I scraped at it with my teeth and tried again. It went down, but I coughed at the strange sensation, so it came back up.

"Ew," I said, spitting out the soggy pill onto my dad's open palm. "That was icky."

My dad was making a face at the slimy blob of pink on his palm, but laughed. "It's okay, Katie. No one gets it on their first try. Here, take another one."

I tried again and this time I still had to scrape with my teeth, but it went down. "I did it, Daddy! I did it!"

"I know, Katie. I'm so proud of you. Now see if you can try without having it get stuck on your tongue."

I took another quarter and tried once more. This time it went down without any problems. I swallowed and smiled brightly. "No problems, Daddy."

"Good girl," he said, smiling warmly.

"Can I take the rest now?" I asked.

"Hold on a moment. Did you, Katherine Beckett, just ask me if you could take more medicine?"

"Don't call me Katherine," I protested. I hated my name.

"Your mother needs to be here for this," he said, laughing. "Jo!"

My mom came running, the phone still clutched to her ear. "What?" she asked frantically.

"Katie just asked if she could take the rest of her medicine," my dad said, smiling proudly.

"That's it? Here I thought she was getting worse. Wait…did you just say she asked?"

"Uh huh," I said, nodding my head. I was sitting up on my own now. The triumph of conquering another battle gave me the strength I needed to sit up by myself.

"How'd you do it, Jim?"

"She asked if she could take grown-up pills, so I cut up some chewables and taught her how to swallow pills."

My mom shook her head and smiled. "I want to see this," she said, coming to my bed.

I proudly took the last quarter of one of the pills and set it in the middle of my tongue. I took a long sip of water and swallowed. I opened my mouth wide, so my mom could see that the small bit of medicine was gone.

"Well, Katie," she said, rubbing my back soothingly. "Looks like the end of an era."

"What era?" I asked.

"The era of begging, coaxing, and fighting with you to take your medicine. You can do it like a grown up now."

I smiled at my mom's approval. I was glad she was proud of me. I got better faster than I ever had, and I was back in school in two days.

"Katie?" my dad asks, drawing me from my memory. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," I assure him. "I was just remembering the time I first learned to swallow a pill."

"That was a momentous day," my dad agrees. "I know you must want to rest," I roll my eyes. "So I'm going to go, but call if you need anything, okay?"

"Don't worry, Dad," I say. He kisses my forehead and leaves the room. I sigh deeply and stare at my breakfast. I'm not so hungry, so I set it aside, telling myself I'll eat it later.

I can't stop myself from thinking about all the people I haven't talked to. I can't remember the last time I heard Lanie's sassy voice telling me that she was going to smack me. I can't remember the last time I rolled my eyes at something ridiculous that Ryan and Esposito said. I can't remember the last time I smelled the comforting aroma of coffee and dry erase markers that make up the 12th precinct. I can't remember the last time I stood across from him, with a desk between us. I remember everything that happened from the moment I got hit with that bullet, but everything before that is what's a blur.

When I was still in the hospital, every time the door opened, I wished it was Castle coming to say that he wasn't going to give up so easily. But no, Castle never once came. The boys didn't talk about him, and I didn't probe. I'm sure he must have known when I was being discharged from the hospital, and yet he still didn't come by.

I was sitting on the bed with my legs dangling off the edge. I'd been recovering for a month already and I could stand on my own. I could go to the bathroom on my own. I could put on a button down or zip up shirt on my own. I could laugh lightly without it hurting too much. But that's about it. I still couldn't walk down the hallway without getting winded. I still couldn't put my pants on by myself. And I sure as hell couldn't be a cop.

I sat thinking about what would come next. How long would I be out of the force? I knew I had to go back, but once I solved my mother's murder, would I still be a cop? How long would I have to sit and do nothing?

The door opened, pulling me from my head. I looked up, a bubble of hope in my chest that it might be Castle. But of course it wasn't.

"Hey Josh," I greeted. I felt a strange sense of déjà vu, especially since I knew what was coming next.

"Hey, babe. You look better."

"Thanks. I feel better. I'm out of the hospital gown."

"I can see."

He came and sat in a chair across from me, laying his hands on my knees. I wanted desperately to pull them away, but I didn't have the strength.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking into my eyes.

Those words sounded weird coming from anyone other than Castle. We had asked each other that question more times than I could ever count, and it still sounded strange coming from anyone else.

"Josh," I began.

"Not now, Katie, please," he said, pleading.

Again, I felt a sense of déjà vu. I was going to my dad's cabin, and Josh and I had had this conversation before. We talked about whether he would be able to come, and the verdict was that there was too much going on. He was offered another Doctors Without Borders mission, and he was scheduled to leave in three weeks. He wouldn't be able to make it up to the cabin before then, what with packing and his duties at the hospital. When he told me he wouldn't be able to come to visit me, I knew that this wouldn't work. But I didn't want to break up with him while I was still somewhere where he could see me every day. That's why I waited until now.

"No, Josh, I think this is important. I'm going with my dad to get better, and you're going off to Malaysia."

"So?"

"You're not going to see me before you leave and by the time you get back, I'll be back on the field. I think it would be best if we didn't see each other anymore."

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"Yeah," I said, feeling bad, but knowing that it was the right thing to do.

"Why? Was it something I did?"

I smiled wanly and bit the corner of my lip, knowing I couldn't answer that. There were so many things that he did and so many times when he missed out. I chose the easy answer.

"No, you're really great, but I don't think that this is going to work."

"Why not?"

"Because you're going away and I'm going to get better and then go back to work. We're both too busy."

"Is it because of that Writer-Monkey?" Josh asked, bringing out the everlasting argument.

"No, I haven't seen him in weeks," I said, not able to correct him. I couldn't bear to say his name. It hurt enough to think it.

"Some partner he is," Josh scoffed.

"Focus, Josh," I chastised, the words feeling foreign in my mouth. I couldn't remember the last time I had used them. They tasted of him. Of Castle. "I'm going back to work. It's who I am. I'm going to heal and then keep fighting bad guys. I think this has run its course."

"But Katie, I saved your life," he said in a desperate plea to win me back.

I took a deep breath. I know he saved my life, but that could only go so far. My other partner had also saved my life. More than once. It was no longer fair to Josh to keep him in this relationship.

"I know, but I can't Josh. I don't know how else to explain it to you. I'm going away. You're going away, and by the time we're both back, it will be just as it was before."

"What was wrong with that?" he asked. I couldn't believe how thick he was being.

"We hardly saw each other. We were both busy and our heads were too wrapped up in work to truly be together. I can't live like that anymore."

I watched him watching me, as if trying to memorize my face. This was the only time that I was glad Castle left so quickly. I didn't have to draw it out longer than necessary.

"Fine," Josh finally said. "But don't expect me to be waiting here if you change your mind."

I shook my head. "No, I'm making my stand."

Josh nodded and stood up. I closed my eyes when his lips gently touched my forehead, letting what I was doing sink in.

He walked out without looking back.

I close my eyes, trying to block out what happened in the next couple of hours. I left the hospital and was taken to this cabin. By the time I got here, my chest was aching and I was exhausted. My father had to nearly carry me to the bed.

I know I did the right thing with Josh. He is Malaysia helping underprivileged children have a second chance at life, and here I am, cheating death and not strong enough to laugh in its face.

I feel tired and lie back on the plethora of pillows on my bed. I turn on the TV to watch some mind numbing cop show. If I can't be there to catch the criminals, why not watch someone else do it?

I feel my eyes get heavy and the next thing I know, I'm pulled into a lull of sleep.

"Katie?" my dad asks, shaking me awake.

I blink, trying to get my bearings in the morning light. I look around the room and it doesn't look familiar. Then I remember. I'm not in dad's cabin anymore. I'm in my room at my apartment.

My dad brought me back yesterday and last night was the first night I had spent in my apartment in three months. It didn't look lived in, but it was clean. There was not a dust mite anywhere, and no moth balls either.

"Morning, Dad," I say, sitting up in bed. I'm glad that it doesn't hurt to move anymore. I'm fully healed and then I remember – I'm going back to the precinct today. I had convinced my father to let me come home a week early, and I'm so excited to go back to work. After three months of not doing a thing, the thought of going back to some sort of normalcy was what I could only imagine coke felt like to an addict.

I swing my legs to the side and lift myself off my bed. I go through the motions of the morning, my stomach giddy at the thought of going back. As I move around my room and bathroom, I realize how happy I am to be back and how nice it is to feel that I'm finally coming back.

"Katie, are you sure you want to do this?" my dad asked for the hundredth time. "You have another week's leave. You sure you want to go home today."

"Yes, Dad. I feel great, and I just want to be back in the city."

We'd had that conversation multiple times a day for the past week – ever since I first mentioned that I wanted to go home early.

He helped me pack up what things I had and loaded them into his car.

"I'm driving," I said, grabbing for the keys.

"No way, Katie," my father protested.

"Please?" I tried again.

"Not a chance."

He held them out of reach and hopped into the driver's seat, sticking the key into the ignition. I had no choice but to accept that he would be driving me back to the city. I sighed dejectedly and buckled my seat belt.

I leaned back in the seat and closed my eyes. The gently hum of the motor and the smooth ride over the highway lulled my to sleep, and I wasn't aware of anything until my dad shook me awake. I looked out the window and almost cried at the sight of my apartment building. It had been so long since I had been here. Not since before his funeral.

"Ready?" my dad asked, holding my lone suitcase. I took my jacket and purse and looked at him.

"As I'll ever be."

We rode the elevator in silence, my stomach fluttering with thousands of butterflies. Would it be as I left it? Would it hold too many memories? Would I still like it? My mind buzzed with questions. We finally made it to my floor and I stepped off the elevator. I saw my door and I felt a rush of memories flow through my veins. It felt good to be home. Finally.

I unlocked the door and pushed it open. I was expecting to be hit with the musky scent of a place that no one had been into in a long time. I expected dust bunnies everywhere. It was nothing like that. Everything was spotless and just as I remembered it when I left, wearing the uniform I hadn't worn in over four years.

I took a slow walk through the apartment, looking at each room, scrutinizing it to see if there was anything out of place. Everything I saw reminded me of him. The couch made me think of that meeting we had right before the funeral. The pillows reminded me of when Castle came over to help me plan the fundraiser for my mother. The kitchen reminded me of when he made me breakfast that one time, even though that was in a different apartment.

I couldn't get him out of my mind. No matter how hard I tried, everything had an association with him. Everything reminded me how I had lied to him and shut out my best friend. How I pushed him away when I needed him the most.

"Well?" my father asked, jerking me from my reverie.

I took a deep breath, pushing all thoughts of him out of my mind. "It's home," I said. I went into my bedroom and lifted a pillow to my face. I breathed in the comforting scent and I felt a weight being lifted from my shoulders. I was home.

I am home. I slip on my mother's ring and my father's watch. I holster my gun and clip my badge to my waist. I slip a backup gun into my purse, along with my cuffs, wallet, phone, and whatever else I might need for the day. I take a moment to look in the mirror and inspect the reflection. Yes, Detective Kate Beckett was back on the beat.

I get mentally ready to return to the precinct. I wonder how people will react when they see me, especially my team, since I haven't made contact in a long time. But most of all, I keep in mind the three little words I never plan on repeating to anyone.

I remember everything.

I hope you enjoyed that! I have Rick's POV all done, but I'm going to wait until I get some feedback, so the next chapter is all on you. Review and let me know if you want the next chapter!

Have a great week,
Mangotango101