This is Season 7. Following the Caryl episode and into the preview for the next. It's short but...I hope you all enjoy it. Thanks for reading. I got the idea for this one shot while listening to Lady GaGa's song Million Reaons. (Obviously).
He'd looked her in the eye and told her they all returned. She knew him. And maybe that was why she let him by with it or maybe she couldn't be the reason that dam broke behind his stormy eyes. Everything was so tense but still seamless with him. Comforting and fuck she'd missed him. Still she wasn't able to take her eyes off him. To never think you would ever see your heart again, to resign yourself to saying goodbye without ever speaking the words, well it was shattering. His dry laugh was like a balm on her tattered and torn soul.
The candle light was low and flickering. Casting dancing shadows over his worn form. He was trying for her. It made her think of Aaron talking about inviting Daryl over to dinner. It felt like so long ago that him and Eric laughed at the recounting of that story. He had horrendous table manners that to her had become and endearing part of him. He was trying and it was making her eyes burn in a way she couldn't deal with at the moment. If she broke in front of him she knew he'd shoulder her pain. Take it from her like he'd done with Sophia. He'd put her back together and help her the way he always did because that was Daryl. He was her rock but she had to be her own. It was obvious that something was wrong with him so she wouldn't put her pain on him. He'd gave her the strength since meeting her to be on her own two feet and that was what she was trying to do. Daryl Dixon was someone of honor and she admired that.
He'd hugged her so tight that she felt her ribs ache. It was deep in her bones even after he'd let her go. Walked down those steps and into the dark. Even after she could no longer see him again that ache didn't leave. He'd left a piece of himself with her. Branded her.
"Why'd you go?"
Such a simple question and yet it ripped her apart worse than anything. Not since Sophia had she felt such pain. Love was funny like that. It wasn't a romance novel. He'd told her that once. It gave her a laugh at the time but he was right. It wasn't because love hurt. It hurt every day knowing he could die. It was funny because despite knowing that loving that person you had the potential to break your own heart, possibly never recover, you done it in spite of yourself. That any of them could die but never so much as him. If Daryl died Carol knew she wouldn't be far behind him. So she ran.
"Why'd you go?"
God, the look in his eyes was worse than when Merle died. She knew that something was wrong. He was skittish. Battered, bruised, wrecked...it reminded her of the shelter. A place she hated thinking about. But nevertheless she did. That book they both knew he took and read. A book she never questioned him about because if Daryl wanted to talk about it he would. It was the look in his eyes when she seen the book fall that was looking at her then. To think she'd wounded him in a way his own father had made her want to vomit. He'd tried to tell her then. He reached out but even then she was gone. Her mind a world away. She stayed for him and left because of him. It was messed up but there was no other words for it. Love made you do funny things.
She had a million reasons to go. To never look back. Survival. Sanity. Healing. Never kill again….Who wanted to watch the people they loved die? No one. She been there done that and she refused to watch the rest of them go. She refused to fathom a world without Daryl Dixon in it. So she justified her decisions, her seclusion. Who wanted to watch as they turned into the villain? It was the reality of this world.
"Why'd you go?"
She had a millions reasons to walk away…..
Her night was full of cold sweats and nightmares. Every heartbreak made it hard to sleep. Every sting of regret and pain making it harder to go on. When she closed her eyes she seen his blue ones looking at her like she was his lifeline. It was familiar. It was home. She should run for the hills. She should be done with them. Disappear. It wouldn't be long now until Rick, Maggie, Glenn, Michonne, Carl….until they all knew where she was. Yet she felt like she was forever still after hearing Daryl's voice. A prayer in the dark of night.
Even with all the reason she had to walk away; he just needed one good one to stay.
"Why'd you go?"
Carol adjusted the pack on her shoulders. Her eyes landing on the boy in front of her. "Where's Morgan?"