Chapter One

John Watson sat down at the only free bar stool, placing his cane beside him. He looked up and the bar tender and asked for a beer, his voice numb with pain. Three weeks, and he still couldn't believe it. Couldn't get his mind wrapped around the thought that he was gone. John closed his eyes for a moment and rubbed his forehead.

He wasn't going to cry again.

"I'll pay for his to." The thick Walsh ascent came from beside him. It made John open his eyes and look up. The man whom the voice belonged to was young looking, younger then Sherlock. His face was very childish, though he seemed like he'd seen his fair share of danger. It was in his eyes. The man's eyes reminded John alot of Sherlock's. He was dressed in a very nice looking suit, his hair done up perfectly.

John then realized that the man had just payed for his beer. "Thank you." He said, managing a small, fake smile.

"Your welcome." The man turned to him, sipping at his own drink. "I am Ianto, It's nice to meet you." He said with the same fake smile John had only just used on him. Ianto held his free hand out to John. John took his hand and shook it slowly.

"Hello Ianto. I am John." He said before turning back to his drink.

The two of them sat in silence for a moment. An uneasy feeling passing between them. Like they both wanted to talk, say something- anything to the other one. But they didn't know how. Or they just didn't know what to say. It was more then a little obvious that they were both sad.

Sad.

It didn't seem to be the right word. Bent up. Twisted. Angry. Tired. Miserable. Distort. Those seemed to be the right words. Better anyways, to how the two were feeling. And the two could feel it on each other. Radiating off of each other. It was uncomfortable, yet comforting. Comforting to know that someone else new how you felt.

Ianto nodded and rubbed his forehead, clearing his throat before speaking. "You look sad John." He said slowly not wanting to push his bounders. But he needed someone to talk to. He hadn't had anyone to talk to is so long. It was starting to make his skin crawl, and his eyes water.

John chuckled, it was an odd chuckle. It wasn't happy, or cheerful in away way at all. "My best friend-" his voice cracked, but he cleared his throat, whipped his noise. "-died." He said like the word was a tune of bricks. John quickly took a large drink of beer, hoping it would stop the tears. Which it did.

Ianto looked over at John. The hurt was so clear on his face, and in his voice. Whomever had died, it was more than just a friend. John loved his best friend as more than a friend. That was plain to see, as clear as day. Best friends could be missed alot, true. But Ianto knew the look someone got when a lover died. In fact, Ianto knew that look all too well. "I am sorry for your loss." Ianto said glancing back to his own drink.

"Thanks." John said quickly. He'd hoped to either end the conversion or, at the very least, change the subject.

It was only then that he noticed how sad the other man looked. As if someone had just killed his puppy. "You look sad, to, Ianto."

The suited man nodded slowly. "I had to leave someone," he spoke, his voice shakier then he thought it would be. "And I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to him." He explained in a softly. "and I am scared he might forget me." He added, voice breaking.

Here was John, a man who's just had his lover die, clearly a mess. Is this what Jack was like? Is this what Jack was going throw? Was he at all like John? Completely twisted up, in a way that he could never be un-twisted? Never be the same...?

Ianto shut his eyes quickly, telling himself that Jack was strong. That he would get over him. That he was going to fine and so was Jack. Even if they had to be apart...

Then a hand touched his shoulder. The touch made Ianto open his eyes, and look at John. Face-to-face.

"Why can't you go back to him?" Asked John, his eyes looking almost panicked.

Ianto turned to him completely. "Someone, who knows more than I do, more than anyone..." He tailed off a second. "A Doctor," Ianto started again, shaking his head "Said he has things he needs to do. And I can't be alive- around- for him to do them." Ianto tried to explain without giving away too much. As much as he wanted to talk, he couldn't tell too much. Spoilers.

John watched Ianto for along moment. "This man, you love him?" John asked raising an eye brow. "And he thinks you're dead?" He asked again. He'd suprized himself with how bitterly cold his voice came out. Ianto nodded and John stood up. Ianto nodded, yes, slowly. "Then no matter what he needs to do, he'll want you at his side."

Ianto sighed "I can't. You just-"

John shoved Ianto off his seat. "Don't tell me I don't understand." He snapped. "Now got to him!" He nearly yelled, actually getting angry. "Tell him you're alright. That you're live." John's voice dropped into a low drawl. "Because trust me he's been praying for it. He wants you with him, he wants you there." He lightened up just a bit "Now please, Ianto, go tell your man that you're alive... that you love him. I promise he won't forget that. Not as long as he lives." John begged him, just about willing to get down on his knees.

"But the Doctor he won't-" Ianto started only to be cut off by John for a second time.

"Look, I am a Doctor to." John said quickly "A war Doctor." He added, putting a hand on Ianto's chest and pushing him towards the door. "And I know, that what you need more than anything is to go back to him." He gave Ianto another small push. "Please go back to him. Make sure he knows that you love him." John's voice cracked with emotion, but he went on. "Don't make the same mistake as I did."

Before they reached the door Ianto turned to John. "I am going to find him." Ianto said starting to push the door open. "His name is Jack by the way." He added, truly smiling. The name Jack making his eyes lightly up. Like when Sherlock used to get a new case.

"Thank you, Ianto." John said with a smile.

Ianto stopped and turned to John. "Is there any possibility that he's still alive?" He asked carefully. "The man you love?"

"Anything's Possible with him."