A loud bang and a bright flash of light from the general direction of Wheeljack's lab on the Ark had everyone on the battlefield momentarily stunned. The noise and bustle grew louder but the gunshots had ceased as mechs from both factions tried to regain their bearings.

Optimus Prime took the opportunity to deftly kick Megatron, who had the Autobot commander pinned to the ground and at the mercy of the his fusion cannon, off into the clouds of dust that now settled over, well, everything. Optimus picked himself up, tuning into the general chaos that now gripped both the Decepticons and the Autobots. A movement behind him caught his attention.

"Jazz," he acknowledged the presence, amazed at how his third-in-command could slink around like that when everyone was so disoriented. But then again, Jazz wasn't head of special ops for nothing.

"Something happened," the black-and-white said, coming to stand next to his commander. Optimus sighed; "something happened" never meant anything good in a situation like this.

"Any idea what that 'something' is?" Optimus questioned as he tried to squint through the settling dust.

"Nope, not really..." Jazz hesitated for a moment. His commander looked down at him.

"And?"

Technically, Optimus couldn't see behind Jazz's visor, but it didn't take a psychic to sense the ops officer's amusement, a feeling the Prime thought was vastly out of place at the moment. Jazz, picking up the vibe of disapproval from his commander, hurriedly went on the defensive.

"Woah it ain't what you think Optimus," he said hastily, but failed to wipe the fading grin on his face completely.

Optimus was not amused.

"Eh... well, how do I put this," Jazz scratched his chin. He quickly plastered a disarming smile on his faceplates at the dark look his Prime was giving him.

"Alright okay, I don't really know what happened, but I was fighting with Thundercracker when that flash and bang went off. One of the beams kinda hit him. Then he – " Jazz made a 'poof' noise and a gesture with his hands. Optimus frowned in confusion.

"But I thought only Skywarp can teleport."

Jazz shook his head. "Nuh uh, I don't think he teleported..."

Optimus waited.

"I think... he shrank."

ooo

He was only half right. Thundercracker did shrink, but he didn't just shrink.

The former jet was now hiding behind some bushes, inspecting himself in mortified horror. He was no longer metallic, strong and shiny. He had no null rays, no armor, no electrical systems and energon in his body. He was every Decepticon's worst nightmare.

He was a human.
A squishy, defenseless, and naked human, no less.

A noise from around the bushes startled him. A head, along with its upper torso emerged from the bushes, and caught sight of the curled up Thundercracker. The stranger started and scrambled away. Thundercracker jumped at the sudden movement.

"Wh-who are you?" the newcomer demanded, arms raised defensively and sharp eyes narrowed. Thundercracker momentarily lowered his own raised arms; he'd recognize that voice and attitude anywhere.

"Starscream," he said quietly, and smirked at the startled look the dark haired man shot at him.

"It's me, Thundercracker."

It took a moment of suspicious staring and several once overs before the former Air Commander decided to believe the wavy haired human really was Thundercracker.

And then the fuming began.

"I don't believe this!" Starscream ranted, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Look at us! We're squishies! Fleshbags! HUMANS!" And he wrung his hands in an expressive display of frustration.

Thundercracker ignored him and instead chose to peer through the bushes to try and see what was happening. The dust had more or less settled, and from the looks of it... the Decepticons had retreated. His shoulders sagged.

Another rustle had the both of them turning around and silencing Starscream mid-rant. A third man was now crawling into the clearing, completely unaware that Starscream and Thundercracker were watching him.

"Skywarp?" Starscream immediately asked without thinking. The man snapped his head their way and froze. Thundercracker felt like slapping his commander; some common sense would suggest that Skywarp as a human would never have blonde hair in a shade that pale.

And also, had that really been Skywarp, his immediate reaction certainly wouldn't have been to dart back into the bushes like a frightened rabbit.

Thundercracker leapt into action and pounced on the blonde before he could get away. But the stranger was surprisingly strong for someone of such a lean frame. Thundercracker was no lightweight either, but his strength alone was simply not enough to hold the thrashing blonde man down.

"Slaggit Starscream stop zoning out and help!" he snarled.

And with a startled look, the third finally jumped into the fray of writhing and struggling naked bodies.

ooo

Wheeljack didn't have to lift his head to know that his commander was currently boring holes into his entire frame with just his optics. That flash and bang was from his lab and no amount of words or pleading was going to save him from the holy wrath of an enraged Optimus Prime.

He was in such deep, deep slag.

A/N: First time I'm posting fics! Its not beta read so I apologize for poor language and any typos. Feel free to let me know if there're errors and such. Reviews and comments are greatly appreciated!

Second chapter will be up eventually... when I get off my lazy butt to type up the rest aha.