My Backwards Walk
One-shot
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or any of its characters or plots. I mean no infringement, this is for personal benefit only.
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing: John Sheppard/OMC
Word count: 11,129
Rating: NC-17
Summary: There's a wedding, a reunion, and a massive cake. Too bad there's not really a plot.
Warnings: Sex, language, canon is my bitch… which is to say, that you shouldn't really look for it here. Hints of past abuse.
Beta: None
Author's Notes:
- This is what happens when one watches too much Glee… 0_o (And no, they don't start singing.)
- This is as close as I get to a kid fic, I think. Ha.
- Backwards Walk belongs to Frightened Rabbit.
"Daddy? Why don't I have a mommy?"
Robert Sheppard looked down at his son. "What makes you think that?"
"Because I only have a daddy!" Johnny answered with his five-year-old logic.
"Every child has a mommy and daddy," Robert answered carefully. "But your mommy was very busy, so she left you with me. She knew I could take care of you and love you."
"When will she be not busy anymore?"
Robert reached out and brushed some hair out of Johnny's face. "I'm not sure, son. Are you okay with just having a mean, old, daddy?"
Johnny giggled. "You're not mean, daddy! And you're not old! You're the bestest daddy, ever!"
Robert kissed the top of Johnny's head. "Why, thank you, Johnny. I'm glad to hear that."
"I love you, daddy."
"I love you, too, Johnny."
"Are you going to leave me, daddy?" Johnny asked. "If you get too busy?"
"Never," Robert promised. "You're stuck with me for life, kid."
Johnny grinned and hugged his father's knee. "You're stuck with me, too, daddy!"
"There's no one I'd rather be stuck with," Robert smiled. "Now, it's time for all little boys to get ready for bed!"
"I'm not little, daddy! I'm a big boy, now!"
Robert reached out and tickled Johnny's side. Johnny giggled loudly and ran off towards his room. Robert watched him go for a second before following the laughter down the hall.
John gasped and woke up quickly, sitting up. He took a deep breath and clutched at his blanket.
"John?" A voice asked sleepily.
"Go back to sleep," John whispered.
"Is everything alright?" A warm hand settled on John's back and rubbed it soothingly.
"Yeah, just a dream."
"Must have been some dream; your heart is racing."
John turned to his partner and touched a shoulder. "I'm really fine, Matt."
"You know I never believe you when you say that, John," Matt answered easily.
John sighed. "I know. It's one of your more annoying qualities."
"One of my more endearing qualities, you mean," Matt corrected.
John snorted. "Sure."
Matt's warm hand tugged John back down next to him and Matt threw an arm across John's waist, snuggling up to his back. His hand rested low on John's stomach and its weight was a welcome comfort.
"Want to talk about it?" Matt asked quietly.
"Not really."
One of the things John loved most about Matt was that he didn't pry. Matt knew when to leave things alone. John thought it was because the man had the patience of a saint. Matt said it was because he was the youngest of five children and used to not being told anything. John said that should only make his curiosity grow bigger. It was a debate they'd been having for years.
"I love you, John," Matt said simply.
John swallowed and remembered how his dad used to say the same thing. "I love you, too, Matthew."
Matt kissed the back of John's neck. "Goodnight," Matt whispered.
"'Night."
"One of these days," John drawled, coming up behind Matt. "You're gonna get in trouble for that."
Matt finished knotting his tie and met John's eyes in the mirror. "Nah, Colonel Carter likes me."
"Only 'cause you're BFFs with Jackson," John said with a roll of his eyes. He reached around Matt from behind and straightened the tie out. "We have a uniform code here for a reason."
"If the reason is to make everyone here look like unattractive, shapeless blobs, then well done, you've succeeded. But I refuse to be lumped into that category, as do Teyla and Ronon. At least they see sense," Matt added, with a disapproving look at John's regular black outfit.
"Hey, black is slimming," John grinned.
"Like you need to be slimmed," Matt scoffed.
"I really wish you'd at least consider a shirt with less buttons."
Matt turned around in his arms, eyes sparkling, "But then where would the fun in that be? You like my buttons."
John's hands moved to Matt's chest and he touched the row of shiny circles there. "Hmm."
"Are you joining me for breakfast today, babe?" Matt asked.
"Yeah, I'll have to eat fast though, I've got a meeting with Carter at nine."
"You know that's bad for your-"
"-digestion," John finished. "I know, Dr. Parker. Can't do anything about it though."
Matt grimaced. "You know I hate it when you call me that."
"Definitely not what you were saying a couple nights ago," John smirked.
Matt flushed. "That was… different."
"There's nothing wrong with your last name, you know."
"So you've been saying," Matt sighed.
"It's perfectly normal."
"It's perfectly plain, you mean."
"As long as you don't go changing it to something crazy."
"Like what?" Matt asked with a raise of his eyebrows.
"…The Doctor Formerly Known as Matthew?"
Matt laughed. "What? You don't think that's a good alternative?"
John tapped the ring on Matt's finger. "You know you could always be Dr. Sheppard."
"What happened to waiting?"
DADT had only been revoked a few months previous, and while the whole base knew that John and Matt had been together for years, no one said anything; it was the giant elephant in the room. They never did anything to bring attention to themselves, and no one mentioned it to anyone else. Now that John was free to be with him, well, it was harder than they'd thought to break years of ingrained habits. They'd also decided to ease the base into their relationship-knowing and seeing were two different things. So for now they ate their meals together, and Matt was frequently there to see John off-world.
John sighed. "I'm tired of waiting. It's been years, Matt."
"I know," Matt soothed. "It's just a few more months. You're stuck with me, John Sheppard." He quirked a smile.
"You're stuck with me for life, kid."
"You're stuck with me, too, daddy!"
"There's no one I'd rather be stuck with."
John shook his head and tried to put the memory out of his head. Matt must have caught something on his face as he frowned and said, "What's wrong, John?"
"Nothing," John denied. He stepped back out of Matt's embrace and Matt's frown persisted as he followed John out of the bathroom. John grabbed Matt's white medical coat from where it rested on the back of a chair.
"John…" Matt said, as he accepted the jacket.
"It's really nothing," John insisted.
Matt nodded slowly. "Okay."
John offered his partner a half-smile. "Ready?"
Johnny ran to his dad. "Daddy! I have a boo-boo! It hurts!"
Robert frowned and set aside his newspaper, bending down to John's level. "A boo-boo? What happened, Johnny?"
Johnny sniffed and a couple tears fell down his cheeks. "I was running and tripped." He shoved his elbow out for his dad to see. "It's bleeding, daddy."
"Why, so it is," Robert agreed. "Let's go fix that, okay?"
"You can make it better?" Johnny sniffled.
"Don't I always, Johnny-boy?"
Johnny smiled. "Yep!"
John made some instant hot cocoa and went to stand on his and Matt's balcony. He leaned against the railing and sipped the hot beverage, blowing over the top before each sip to cool it. There was a slight breeze, and John shivered. He was standing in just his boxers, as he didn't want to wake Matt up by opening up drawers.
He stared out over the ocean as he wrapped his hands around his mug. John hadn't spoken to his dad in fifteen years, not since he had confessed to being gay. His dad had slapped John across the face, and told him to get out, that he never wanted to see or hear from him again.
John's chest ached as he remembered that day. He and his dad had always been close, since it had only been them growing up. His dad had never dated, devoting, instead, all of his time to John. John hadn't thought his father would react like that and it had stung. It had hurt John so deeply that from a few months after that, until Matt, John had wanted nothing to do with men anymore. It was stupid, but John had held a small hope that maybe he wasn't gay. Maybe he could still be straight, and he and his dad could fix everything.
Then he'd met Matthew Parker.
Matt was a little flamboyant, and as extroverted as John was introverted. They were a weird match and John knew it. But he also knew that he was gone on the other man from the moment he first set eyes on him. Matt had been a part of the first wave on Atlantis, and soon enough, John had become familiar with all of the infirmary doctors. The first time Matt had walked into the room, a small swish to his hips, and a game theory tie around his neck, John had been hooked.
He still wasn't sure what it was about Matt that grabbed his attention. Matt said it was his innate awesomeness. John had to agree, at least partially, because, yeah, Matt was awesome. But there was more to it then that. Matt was just… different. He was different to John.
Matt was funny, he was smart, he was talented. He was everything that John could ever hope for in a guy. He also didn't seem to mind that they had to keep their relationship private.
A warm blanket settled on his shoulders, and John felt Matt plaster himself to John's back. "You shouldn't be out here in the cold, babe," Matt whispered.
"I didn't want to wake you."
Matt snorted softly. "I'm a doctor, John. Everything wakes me up."
John knew that, but he held eternal hope that just once Matt would sleep through John's restlessness. "Sorry," he murmured.
"I don't mind." Matt rested his head on John's shoulder. "Now, I've given you a few days to work through whatever's bothering you, and since it's two in the morning and you're standing on our balcony in your underwear, I'm going to assume you haven't. So I need you to talk to me. Please, John."
John looked down into his cocoa. "I've been having dreams."
"Yeah?" Matt's hand slipped into the blanket to caress John's stomach.
"More like memories." John exhaled. "About my dad, from when I was younger."
"Did something happen to him?" Matt asked in concern.
John shrugged. "I don't know. I'd be the last to know, I think."
"You could write him a letter," Matt suggested softly.
John laughed mirthlessly. "I don't even know where he lives anymore."
"I'm sure McKay would have no problems hacking into some government server to find out for you," Matt said dryly.
"He doesn't want to talk to me."
"It's been over a decade, John. Things change, people change."
"He hit me, Matt," John said, voice cracking in the middle. "He hit me and then said he never wanted to see me again, that he didn't have a son."
"I know, babe," Matt said gently.
"I miss him," John admitted softly. "I want to tell him so many things. I want to tell him all about you and Rodney and Teyla and Ronon. I want to tell him what it was like to fly an F-22 and a 302 and an Apache and a Blackhawk."
"Maybe…" Matt said slowly. "When we go to visit my parents next month, maybe we can look your dad up. We don't have to talk to him, but between your Black-Ops stealthiness, and my awesome ability to fit in anywhere-" John snorted. "-we can be really creepy and just make sure he's okay. And, you know, if we happen to be there and you just happen to want to talk to him…"
"You're insane, you know that, right?" John asked, amused.
"It's all a part of the charm."
They stood there quietly for a moment before John sighed. "I should be over this, right? It shouldn't still bother me."
"He's your dad, John. There's no time limit on how long it takes to get over this kind of thing."
John gulped down the rest of his hot chocolate. "Ronon and I are going to beat up Marines tomorrow."
"You know I love it when you get sweaty," Matt murmured. "And I especially love it when you get sweaty with Ronon."
John laughed. Matt didn't try to hide the fact that he thought Ronon was incredibly hot. Matt was a bit of a flirt, but John didn't mind, because he knew whose bed Matt would be in every night.
"I think we might need a doctor on hand, to treat any injuries that might occur…"
"Gee, having to watch a bunch of hot, sweaty men, beat each other up… that sounds like a hard job." Matt sighed dramatically. "But I suppose somebody has to do it."
"I can see if Keller's free…" John mused.
"She's definitely busy," Matt stated confidently. "I think I might be the only one available."
"Well, I wouldn't want to take you away from all of your research…"
Matt laughed and hugged John closer to him. "Love you, John."
"You, too."
"All set, Johnny-boy?" Robert asked.
"Yup."
"I'm only a phone call away, if you need me," his dad reminded him.
"I know," John answered with a smile.
"And it's just a few hours drive, so I expect you to come visit your dear old dad sometime, got it?" Robert asked, mussing up John's hair.
"You're not old, dad. In fact, I have it on good authority that you're considered a 'hot dad'."
"A 'hot dad'?" Robert repeated with a grin. "Who told you this?"
"Benny said his sister told him," John answered. "And you know how she is."
"Ah, yes. Melanie's such an… interesting young lady."
John laughed. "We'll see."
"Don't break too many hearts, Johnny-boy. College is a crazy time for kids."
"I'll try not to, dad."
Robert leaned in and pulled John into a tight hug. "I love you, son. I'm proud of you."
John swallowed. "Thanks, dad."
They moved apart. "Remember, just a phone call away."
"I know."
Robert smiled, this time sadly, as he got into his car. John watched as he drove away, standing there until he couldn't see the vehicle any more.
"Another dream?" Matt asked, voice full of sleep.
"Yeah."
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Not really."
Matt kissed John's temple. "Okay."
Matt's parents were some of the coolest people that John had ever met. Matt told him that when he had come out, at the wonderful age of seventeen, that his mom had literally said, "That's nice, dear. Can you pass the mashed potatoes?" And that had been that. His mom started a PFLAG chapter, his dad, a lawyer, began to take several pro bono cases involving gay rights, and Matt's brother and three sisters had all started pointing out guys that he had liked the day after Matt came out.
It was like some fairytale coming out. The way that every gay kid wishes it would go. Matt had been incredibly lucky, and he knew it.
When John had first met Matt's parents, about four years ago, they had given John the kind of hug that made his chest ache just a little. They'd opened up their house to him, and John called them 'Mom' and 'Dad'. It felt a little like a betrayal to his own dad, but Steven Parker wasn't trying to replace John's own father, he was just an extra one.
John loved them, and he knew that they loved him. So he and Matt made the effort to visit them at least once a year, although John tried to squeeze more in. Steve and Diane were very understanding about their difficult schedule and John was grateful that they never seemed to mind it when he and Matt were recalled before their leave was over, or when they cancelled their leave all together.
Matt's arms were wrapped around John from behind as John reached out to push the Parker's doorbell. It was cold, and snowing, and Christmas lights brightened up the neighborhood. It was the first time that they would be on Earth for the holiday since they'd gotten together, and John had to admit he was a little bit excited. Matt had stories of traditions and pie and tree decorating that left John wanting to experience it all for himself.
Matt nuzzled John's neck, and small puffs of hot air warmed John's chilled skin. "You're so cold, babe," Matt said. He hugged John even closer.
"It's snowing," John said stupidly. "And I'm not cold."
"You lived in Antarctica," Matt said dryly. "There's no snow there?" He leaned in closer to John. "And you are too, cold."
"There's snow in Antarctica," John conceded. "But there's also huge parkas and warm blankets and hot coffee."
Diane took that moment to open the door and a smile stretched across her face as she ushered them both in. John reached around Matt to drag both of their suitcases back into the house, Matt's being considerably larger than John's. His partner definitely had a small obsession with clothes.
The Parker's house was warm and inviting and there was a tree set up in the corner, just waiting to be decorated. John smelled cookies and coffee and burning wood in the fireplace. Matt peeled off John's layers, leaving him in a black t-shirt and a red flannel over-shirt. He pushed John towards the fire while he hung up John's jacket, sweatshirt, and scarf.
There was no one there but Diane and Steve, Matt's siblings were nowhere to be seen, although John knew they would be there tomorrow to help decorate the tree.
Diane pulled John into a hug before he could sit down. "It's great to have you here, John," she said into his ear. She stepped back, leaving her hands on John's shoulders as she looked him up and down. "Gosh, Mattie, do you feed him at all?"
Matt laughed as John flushed and walked over to John them. He slung an arm around John's waist and held him tight. "He's in a perfectly acceptable weight range for his height, mom."
Diane patted one of John's cheeks. "You're just so thin, John. But you look good-both of you do."
Steve chose that moment to emerge from the kitchen with a tray of food and mugs filled with coffee. "There they are!" He said excitedly. "It's great to have you boys here. We sure miss you guys when you aren't around. Those e-mail updates just don't quite do the trick."
"Sorry, mom," Matt apologized. "Maybe we can send home some video messages."
Diane's face lit up. "That would be wonderful."
Later that night, John was on his back, in Matt's old room, staring up at the ceiling. Matt on his side facing John, his head propped up by his hand. His free hand was in John's left hand, their fingers tangled together.
"Do you ever think about leaving Atlantis, and settling down on Earth?" John was surprised at the question, surprised that it had been him who asked it.
Matt took a moment to respond. "Not really," he began slowly. "Sure, I miss my family, and the food, and the clothes, and god, all the porn available… but I feel like I belong there. That Atlantis is so much more than me, you know? All these other things are so small compared to what I can do there, the people I can help. Why? You thinking of leaving?"
"Sometimes it's just so much," John sighed. "I love Atlantis, and the people, and the family I've made there, but I just… sometimes I just need a break from it all. When I'm there, it's like I always have to be on, I always have to be ready for the next catastrophe, and then the one after that, and the one after that. There's no time to breathe. God, the last four times I tried to get you to fuck my brains out, we were called away before we ever really got started. Doesn't it bother you sometimes?" John asked.
Matt shrugged as best as he could in his position. "Sure it bothers me, but I accept it. It's been like this since before we ever started dating, John, and I don't think it's going to change anytime soon." He rubbed their joined hands over John's chest. "I thought… I thought you were over this, John," he said gently, not unkindly. "We both know that Atlantis comes first. I thought you were going to talk to Evan about taking on some more duties, spreading the work out more."
John turned his head so he was looking at Matt. He studied his partner's face and saw love, compassion, and honesty there. John inhaled sharply. "You're so beautiful." He reached his right hand up and traced the outline of Matt's face. "Matt…"
Matt's eyes fluttered closed and he let John ghost his fingers over his face. "I love you."
No matter how many times he heard the words, they never failed to stop a warmth from blossoming in John's chest. "Marry me," John said quietly. "Marry me while we're here on Earth."
His partner's eyes flew open and locked onto John's. "You know, in my dreams you're always on one knee when you ask." He paused. "And naked."
John didn't hesitate. He pulled away from Matt and sank on to one knee on the side of the bed. Matt's expression went from slightly amused to joyous in seconds. "Marry me," John repeated. "Spend the rest of your life with me, Matthew Parker. I promise to make it worth your while. I promise to always treat you as you deserve. I promise to love and cherish you for as long as I possibly can." He reached out and grabbed Matt's hand. "I love you, Matthew. Will you do me the honor of becoming my husband?"
Matt's eyes glistened with unshed tears of joy as he launched himself off of the bed and into John's arms. "Yes!" He exclaimed and John felt everything wrong in his life disappear as something clicked into place inside of him.
Matt's mouth met John's in an excited rush and John braced an arm against the bed to stop them both from tumbling over. He pushed himself and Matt back up onto the bed and let Matt fall on top of him.
An hour later they were both naked and sweaty and John was feeling like the luckiest man in the whole goddamned universe.
"Does this mean I can't wear my ring until we're married?" Matt asked, playing with the ring John had given him two years ago.
John lightly touched his own as he answered, "I can't imagine not wearing mine for any reason. Maybe we can take them off right before the ceremony."
"Agreed," Matt said, resting his head on John's shoulder. "You know, Daniel will never forgive me for getting married while he's not here."
"Rodney will probably have a few words to say, too," John said. "But I don't care. This is for us. We can video-tape it or something."
"There is so much to plan," Matt said tiredly, but not without excitement. "We have to apply for a marriage license, and schedule a date at City Hall… you did mean a City Hall wedding, right, John?"
John shrugged. "It's probably the quickest way, but I wouldn't say no to a reception with lots of cake and lots of booze, and some dancing."
"Clothes!" Matt exclaimed. "We need tuxes or something… and a cake, and announcements, and oh my gosh, there is so much to do."
John smiled and stroked a hand down the back of Matt's head. "We have three weeks. Think we can do it?"
"Pfft," Matt scoffed. "I could do it in one," he said confidently. "I'll have to see if there's a free room at Hanscom."
"Air Force Base?" John asked in surprise.
"Yeah. They should have some rec. rooms we can use," Matt mused. "I'll call them tomorrow."
"How do you even know about Hanscom?" John asked.
"Please," Matt said. "It's only like twenty-five miles from here." Here being Boston, Massachusetts. "And it's not like they fly their planes overhead so quietly that nobody knows they're there."
"Huh."
It wasn't that it was a secret base, it was just… John hadn't expected Matt to know the local Air Force base off the top of his head.
Matt gently rubbed his fingers over one of John's nipples. "Are you sure about this, John? Really sure?"
"Positive," John confirmed. "We've been married for a long time, Matt. It'll just be official now."
"I love when you're ridiculously mushy," Matt said, kissing John's bare chest. "You know that, right?"
"Yeah," John answered. "And stop trying to start something that neither one of us has the energy to finish."
"Aww," Matt pouted. "Fine. But tomorrow morning, you're all mine."
"Just remember that your parents are down the hall."
The next few days were a whirlwind of activity. John went with Matt to apply for a marriage license, and then to make an appointment at city hall for next week. He also went with him to look at a rec. room at Hanscom AFB and gave his approval. But when Matt started talking announcements, clothes, food, and cake, John took shelter in Matt's room and left everything else up his partner. Matt was definitely in his element, and John was just happy.
On the fifth day of their visit, right after returning home with their marriage license (Massachusetts had a three day waiting period, which John had previously thought was only for guns), and before lunch, John picked up his cell phone. He sat alone on the edge of the bed, fingers hovering nervously over the numbers.
But John had never been a coward and, as Matt put it, was too stupidly brave for his own good. So he dialed a number he knew by heart and waited as the phone rang.
After two rings a deep voice answered. "Hello?"
John swallowed. "I-I'm looking for Robert Sheppard."
"This is he. May I ask who's calling?"
John was frozen. He couldn't answer, couldn't make his mouth move to form words or his name. "I…"
"Hello?" Robert asked again. "Who is this?"
John hung up abruptly and stared at the phone in his hands. His dad was still living in the same house he had been all those years ago. It would take two hours by car to get from Boston to Hartford, Connecticut. And John wasn't sure why he was thinking about that now.
The door opened and Matt entered cautiously. "John?" He blinked at John's figure. "Oh, you're awake. My mom had thought you were up here taking a nap."
John gestured Matt over, setting the phone aside. Matt settled onto John's lap sideways and John wrapped his arms around the other man to keep him in place and Matt's arm settled around John's shoulders. "Did you need something?"
"Daniel called."
"He called?" John asked, confused. "From Atlantis?"
Matt laughed softly. "He was at the SGC. Apparently upon hearing the news of our upcoming nuptials, McKay browbeat the brass into giving your team permission to come back to Earth. Him, Teyla, Ronon, and Daniel will all be arriving later today via the Daedalus. Daniel wanted to know the best place to beam into."
"Oh," John said. "So they're coming? Where will they stay? We need to call around to hotels."
Matt played with the neck of John's t-shirt. "Nah, my parents are gonna put them up here, in my siblings old rooms. We have the space."
"Oh. Wow. That's… really generous of them."
Matt shrugged. "You're family, John. And they're your family, so by extension they're ours, too."
John dipped his fingers into the back of Matt's jeans, sliding down warm skin, past his boxers. "I called my dad," he blurted.
Matt froze. "What? John? Why didn't you tell me? I would have been here with you! What did you say? What did he say?"
"I-" John's throat closed and the words felt stuck. "I just wanted to see if he was still living there. I asked to speak to Robert Sheppard and… it was him, Matt. He's still at the same house. I… I couldn't think of anything to say, so I hung up."
"Call him back," Matt said firmly.
"I-Matt."
"I'll call him," Matt decided. He reached for John's phone and John didn't stop him as he hit redial.
"Hello?" That same voice answered.
"Is this Robert Sheppard?" Matt asked.
"Yes, this is he."
"Hi, my name is Matthew Parker." John grabbed for Matt's free hand and clutched it in his own.
"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Robert asked.
Matt shook his head even though Robert couldn't see him. "No. I'm… I'm calling to invite you to my wedding."
"Your wedding?" Robert asked, bemused.
John's hand tightened in Matt's own and before he could stop him, Matt pressed on. "Yes. It's on December 26th at City Hall in Boston, room 317, at 3pm."
"I'm sorry," Robert apologized again. "I'm not sure I understood you. You said you want to invite me to your wedding? Even though I don't know you."
"That's correct," Matt confirmed.
"Why would I want to go?"
"Because I'm marrying your son," Matt informed him. "December 26th, Boston City Hall, room 317 at 3pm," he repeated.
"I…" There was silence.
"Please don't be late," Matt said before hanging up.
"Matt…" John breathed. He buried his face into Matt's shoulder. "What if he doesn't come."
"He will."
"But-"
Matt put a finger over John's lips, silencing him. "He will."
"You're something else, you know that?"
"Oh, yeah," Matt said. "I'm awesome."
[Some content has been edited out of this scene, please check my homepage or Wraitbait for full content]
Unbeknownst to John, Matt deployed Rodney and Daniel to do his bidding, sending Ronon as backup. He gave them directions to John's father's house, the keys to his dad's car, and them sent them out. Robert Sheppard would be at that wedding, if Ronon had to follow through on threats to make it happen.
While they were gone Matt's parents had volunteered to show Teyla around Boston, and they left shortly after that, leaving Matt and John alone in the house.
Matt waited until he saw the tail lights on his parent's car before pouncing on John. John had laughed happily and let himself be dragged upstairs to their shared bedroom.
Matt kissed John while he undressed them both. John's mouth was warm and hot and wet and al kinds of perfect. John unbuttoned Matt's jeans while Matt sank to the floor, taking John's pants down with him until they pooled around his ankles.
John was panting hard and small moans escaped his mouth. "Jesus, Matt," John swore.
When Matt pulled away, John was so close to the edge, that it was probably a little bit cruel to leave him hanging, but John didn't complain, he just let himself fall onto the bed with Matt.
Matt worked off the last of their clothes and leaned back. "I want you, John."
"Fuck," John swore as his eyes darkened. Matt pushed a bottle of lube into John's hands. John shook slightly as he worked the top off.
John was a nervous top. He worried too much about Matt to actually enjoy it very much, and Matt, who was usually on the bottom if only because he was just a little flamboyant, had switched to being an almost full time top. He occasionally missed being on the bottom, and would coax John through the process. When he'd first discovered that John Sheppard, the John Sheppard, badass Air Force pilot, was a bottom, Matt was sure that his world had tilted on its axis a little.
John was a lot like the guys he'd previously dated-commanding, secure, and in charge. Except that Matt had soon learned that that part of John Sheppard was for other eyes only. That wasn't who John was behind closed doors. Behind doors, John was a lot more unsure and insecure. It had taken a while to get used to that, but Matt had liked John from the get-go.
Matt's eyes roamed John's naked figured and watched as the bottle of lube slipped from John's hands. Matt reached forward and took John's hands in his own, careful not to get lube everywhere. "Hey," he said firmly. "You've got this, John. We've done this before, you know how to do this."
John's green eyes met his own, filled with uncertainty, and he nodded. John took his time preparing Matt, and nothing Matt could say would speed up the process. He'd tried everything. Matt figured John had had a bad experience in his past, but whatever it had been, John was close lipped on the whole thing.
Matt wished john would move just a little bit faster, but the one time he had tried to get John to do that, John hadn't spoken to him for a week afterward.
Matt had been angry then. He had confronted John on having control issues, always having to do things his way. What he hadn't expected was for John to break down crying and yelling that Matt had no idea what he was talking about. There had been a broken look in his eyes when he pleaded for Matt to understand that he couldn't do that, he couldn't be like that.
That was when John had officially begun bottoming and Matt topping. It had been a long drawn-out conversation and John hadn't admitted to anything, but Matt was a doctor. He'd seen abuse cases. He'd seen people-men and women-just like John, and it wasn't that hard to put the pieces together. Most of the time, John hid it well; hid whatever demons from his past that were still haunting him, but every once in a while they shone through, and they almost always came to light when John topped.
Matt had asked, once, if John didn't want to top at all. Matt had admitted that he would miss it, miss being filled, but that for John he was willing to give it up. John had met him with a determined look and decided right there and then that he would top once a month. And he did. Every month since then, in the four and a half years that they'd been together, John had topped once a month. Although no matter how many times they did it, John always seemed to be in pain. Pain that Matt wished he could heal as easily as he could heal John's body.
John's hand was squeezing Matt's tightly as he sunk in. When he was finally as far in as he could go, John slumped on top of Matt, and took a few calming breaths.
"How ya doin', babe?" Matt asked softly, pressing a kiss to the side of John's head.
John's voice was muffled against Matt's skin. "I'm fine. How do you feel?"
"Like my dick will fall off if you don't move soon," Matt said easily.
John laughed a little and sat up. "We wouldn't want that."
"Definitely not."
With that, John began to move in and out of him, taking such care with Matt's body that Matt could only feel cherished and loved. John set a slow but steady rhythm, panting above Matt as they moved together. Matt wrapped his hands around John's wrists, where John had his hands on the bed for support. He slipped into what John referred to as 'Doctor Mode' for a second, checking John's pulse. John hated it when Matt checked up on him, but Matt couldn't help it.
"How am I doing?" John asked.
"Pretty good," Matt answered. "I give you an A."
"It's all those laps I do with the Marines," John grunted.
"Yup."
John's hand snuck between them and wrapped around Matt's hard cock. It slid up and down it with ease as he slowly began to get Matt off.
"John…" Matt gasped.
"Matthew…"
Matt loved the way John said his full name sometimes. "John, god, John." John leaned down and his head fell onto the pillow next to Matt's, his breath hot against Matt's ear. Matt moved one hand up to cradle the back of John's head. "I've got you."
"Matthew…" John said again, but this time just a little bit brokenly. Matt knew that there were probably a lot of emotions coursing through John right now. Lust, desire, love-being the immediate ones. But under that there was probably plenty of fear, anger, hopelessness, sadness, and who knows what else.
"This feels great, John," Matt breathed.
"Yeah?" And Matt knew he wasn't asking just to have his ego stroked. Matt was pretty sure that when it came to sex, John had very little ego.
"Yes," Matt promised. "God, John, I love you so much."
John tucked his head in against Matt's neck. "Love you, too."
And with that, Matt felt himself go over the edge, with John close behind, whispering his name.
"Can I help you?"
Rodney looked at the man who had answered the door. His hair was a deep brown, he had hazel eyes, thin physique, pointed ears. Oh, he was-
"Definitely a Sheppard," Rodney muttered.
From inside the house, a deep voice called, "Hey, Rob, who is it?" Then the door was opened wider and another man, about the same age as Robert Sheppard, answered the door, arm sliding naturally around Sheppard senior's waist.
Rodney's eyes widened. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me."
The unknown man frowned. "Excuse me?"
Rodney pointed his finger at Robert's chest. "You kick your own son out because he's gay and then you turn out to be just as gay?"
Robert paled but didn't speak. His partner did. "Excuse me, just who are you, and how do you know John?"
"John Sheppard is my best friend," Rodney declared proudly.
"He's my teammate," Ronon put in.
"And he's about to marry my best friend," Daniel offered.
Robert sighed and took a step back into the house. "Won't you come in?"
Rodney felt a bit like Hansel who had been invited into a house made of candy. Daniel pushed passed him. "We would love to."
So Rodney followed him in with Ronon close behind him. The house was large, Rodney might even go so far as to call it a mansion. Although it fit right in with the other houses they had passed in Hartford, Connecticut. What shocked Rodney the most were all of the pictures of John. There were photos on the walls and tables that held images of John Sheppard at every age.
"Where did you get all of these?" Rodney demanded, looking pointedly at some of the photos. "Were you stalking him?"
"Rodney," Daniel cut in. "Let's introduce ourselves before we start alienating them, alright?" He looked back at their hosts. "I'm Dr. Daniel Jackson, this is Dr. Rodney McKay-"
"-PhD," Rodney cut in.
"And this is Ronon Dex," Daniel finished.
John's dad nodded and he bit his lip in a way that Rodney had seen John do a hundred time. "I'm Robert Sheppard and this is my partner James Jenkins. Can we get you anything to drink? Some coffee perhaps, to warm up?"
"No, thank you," Daniel declined before Rodney could say yes.
"Shall we sit?" Robert asked, gesturing to two uncomfortable looking couches. Rodney wondered why expensive furniture was always uncomfortable.
So they sat down with Daniel on the left, Ronon on his right, and Rodney in the middle. They faced Sheppard and Jenkins. Both men had a somewhat pained look on their face, and Robert Sheppard was pale, with deep, dark circles under his eyes.
Jenkins cleared his throat. "If your purpose here is to convince Rob to go to the wedding… he has already decided to go."
"That was half of our purpose," Daniel conceded. "The other half was to ensure that you weren't going to cause any problems for John."
"I won't cause any problems," Robert said. "I promise."
"I'm sure you also promised to love Sheppard forever," Rodney bit out. "So forgive us if we're a bit skeptical."
"There's no one I love more in the world than John," Robert said wearily. "I know you won't believe me, but it's true."
"If that's how you treat people you love, than I'd hate to see what you do to your enemies," Rodney scoffed.
"I made a mistake," Sheppard said softly. "I know I did. And I've tried to fix it. I've been looking for John for almost six years, now. I've done everything I could. I even hired two private investigators! But I was road-blocked by the Air Force at every turn. I thought… I thought that maybe he had died in combat, or was MIA… I…" He took a deep shaky breath and James put his arm around Robert's shoulders. "I can't believe that after all of these years, it as John who found me," he admitted. "I moved back here about six years ago, when I started looking for John. I wanted him to be able to find me, if he ever wanted to."
"Let me get you some water," Jenkins murmured. He rubbed Robert's back for a moment and then stood up. "Are you sure I can't bring you anything?"
"No, thank you," Daniel answered for them all, again.
James left, leaving them alone with Robert. Robert looked up at them. "Can you tell me about him? What he does now? How he is? About-about Matthew Parker?"
"John is a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Air Force," Daniel began slowly.
"A Lieutenant Colonel," Robert whispered in awe.
"He's the military leader of a top-secret joint military/civilian base. I'm afraid we can't disclose it's location," Daniel apologized. "Rodney or Ronon could probably tell you a little more about him."
Daniel looked at him expectantly and Rodney scowled in return. "I don't think Sheppard would appreciate us gossiping about him to his dad," Rodney said bluntly.
"I'm with McKay on this," Ronon added. "Sheppard likes his privacy."
Daniel dismissed them with a roll of his eyes. "John is fine. He's great, actually. His men love him, he's well-respected, and he's an amazing leader. Matthew Parker is… a medical doctor assigned to the same base as John; that's how they met. They've been together for four and a half years. His family lives in Boston now, but they're originally from New Hampshire… I'm not sure what else to tell you."
"Did John… did he ever finish his Master's?" Robert asked. James took that moment to walk back in, carrying a glass of water. He set it down in front of Sheppard and reclaimed his seat.
"Two years ago, he finished his doctorate," Daniel said quietly.
"His doctorate," Robert gasped. "Where at?"
"MIT," Rodney snorted. "Where else?"
"In mathematics?"
"Applied," Daniel said, while Rodney said, "Theoretical."
Rodney turned to glare at Jackson. "It's theoretical."
"I've seen his diploma, Rodney. It's applied."
"We'll see about that," Rodney challenged.
Daniel sighed. "So, yes, he finished his Master's."
Robert Sheppard looked at them and instead of seeing an older, more aged, but still strong, version of John Sheppard, all Rodney saw was an old broken man, with little hope for the future. "Does John really want me to come?"
"Sheppard wants a lot of things he'll never talk about," Ronon answered for them all. With that he stood up and headed for the door. Rodney followed him without a word.
"Uh, thank you for your time," Daniel said hastily. "We hope to see you there."
Rodney was out the door before he head Robert Sheppard's answer, but he hoped for his sake, it was along the lines of 'I'll be there with bells on'.
"I want ice cream," Matt declared.
Matt's siblings-Sean, Amanda, Jennifer, and Casey-all stopped what they were doing, to turn and look at him. Matt flushed a little and John smirked in his direction.
"It's like twenty-two degrees outside," Amanda said. "How could you possibly want something cold to eat?"
Matt shrugged. "We don't really get a lot of ice cream where we're stationed. I miss it." He turned to John. "Let's go to Ben and Jerry's."
"I'm driving," John insisted. Matt, it turned out, was a terrible driver when there was snow. John had feared for his and Matt's life on at least two separate occasions since their arrival. He pulled his hoodie on over his head and when he could see again he noticed that everyone was still looking at them, Daniel, Rodney, and Ronon included. "What?"
"My idiot brother says he wants ice cream and you just go along with it?" Casey asked.
"Why not?" John asked, shrugging on an overcoat. He handed Matt his scarf.
"Because it's freezing!" Casey answered easily. "You're going to go out in this weather for some ice cream?"
"Yep." John looked around the room. "Does anybody want anything?"
"I'll take some chocolate," Rodney put in.
"Strewberry," Ronon said.
"Strawberry," John corrected with a semi-nervous glance towards Matt's family.
"Can you bring me back some butter-pecan?" Daniel asked. "Or, hmm, maybe some coffee flavored… or ooo that Chunky Monkey one…"
"Want to just come with us?" Matt asked, amused.
Daniel offered them a sheepish smile. "Let me get my jacket; it's upstairs." He headed out of the room and John looked around expectantly.
"Anyone else?"
Matt's family seemed to blink in unison as if realizing that yes, they really were going to get ice cream in the middle of winter.
"I'll get the notepad," Matt said, as his family began to call out orders.
There was no line at Ben and Jerry's when they arrived, which was good, because John had handed the single worker their notepad filled with orders while Matt perused the selection. John came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Matt's waist. "See anything you like?"
"Oatmeal Cookie Chunk," Matt said, although he didn't sound very decided, and he kept looking back and forth between that and the Phish Food.
"What's Daniel getting?" John asked, glancing towards Matt's best friend.
"He said something about Cherry Garcia… I'm not sure, though. I think he might get like three different things." Matt sighed and leaned back in John's arms. "I miss ice cream when we're on Atlantis."
"Let's buy an ice cream machine while we're here," John suggested. "Then we can try it with some of that weird milk that we don't like to think about where it comes from. And sugar, or whatever else goes into it."
"You, my dear lover," Matt said, leaning back and turning his head to face John. "Are so incredibly smart." He leaned in and gave John a quick kiss and when they pulled back, John saw Daniel start to head for them.
"I'm getting some to eat now and some to take back to Matt's," Daniel announced with a grin. "I love ice cream."
Matt laughed. "Who doesn't? Even Ronon likes it, and he's not even from this galaxy."
"We've spoiled him," John said. "He really only knows the best things about Earth… ice cream… pizza… beer… football…and Ferris-"
"-wheels," Mat finished. "It's too bad it's December, we could have taken him on one."
"Next time," John sighed.
"Yup." Matt sighed happily. "I love ice cream."
"D-Money!"
Daniel looked up from his computer to see Matt grinning in his doorway. "What have you done now?"
"Nothing," Matt said innocently, sliding into the room. The glance back over his shoulder did nothing to allay Daniel's concerns.
"Uh-huh," Daniel said. "I know you better than that, Parker."
Matt scrunched up his face at the name. "Sheppard," he insisted.
"Not yet," Daniel answered.
"Close enough." Matt collapsed onto the bed, ending up with his head near Daniel's hip. "Soon, D-Money, I'll be a married man, and you won't be able to have your way with me ever again!"
Daniel laughed. "Like I've ever had my way with you. I think John would kill me if I even thought about it. Which I haven't," he added hastily. "Because, you know, not gay…"
"Nah," Matt countered. "John's a pretty laid-back guy, or haven't you noticed? He'd probably just ask to watch."
"In that case…" Daniel offered his best leer. Matt broke out laughing and Daniel let a mock-pout slide onto his face. "What? Don't like my sexy look?"
"If that's your sexy look, I'd hate to see your constipated look," Matt laughed.
"Okay, okay," Daniel conceded. "So what are you doing here anyway? Don't you have a gazillion and one things to be doing?"
Matt shrugged. "They're done."
"Really?" Daniel asked, surprised. "Everything's ready?"
"Yup. John and I are going over on the morning of to set up the rec. room, make it a little bit festive. And my parents are going to swing home and pick up the food after the ceremony and bring it there, while Sean and Amanda go to pick up the cake. We have our tuxes ready, marriage license ready, wills changed…"
"So since you finished all of that, you decided to come bother me instead of hanging out with your sexy fiancé?"
"Ha!" Matt exclaimed. "I knew you were waiting for me to move out of the way so you could make a play on John."
Daniel rolled his eyes. "Oh yes, that's exactly what I was planning. You caught me."
"I thought so, D-Money," Matt grinned.
"So," Daniel said, more seriously. "Are you ready to be a married man?"
"I've considered myself a married man for years," Matt said, snuggling into Daniel's side. Daniel lifted his arm and settled it around Matt's shoulders. "But now I get a tax break."
Daniel chuckled. "There is that, I suppose. How's John doing with all of this?"
"He's the one who asked," Matt pointed out, then sighed. "I think he's excited to get married, but it's a bit eclipsed by the nervousness of seeing his dad for the first time in years. I'm starting to think I shouldn't have invited him; John has been up and down for days."
"For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing. John wants his dad there, and from how it looked, Robert Sheppard wants to be there, too."
"Tell me about him," Matt requested softly.
Daniel's fingers sifted through Matt's hair as he thought about how to answer. "He looks like John," he said finally. "And he has little mannerisms that are just like John's. He seemed sad, though. He's gay… or at least bi."
Matt froze and looked at Daniel. "What?"
"I didn't tell you that? Yeah. He's living with a man… James Jenkins. I'm not sure how long they've been together; he didn't say. But they looked pretty comfortable with each other."
"That's going to kill John," Matt said quietly. "His dad throws him out and then turns around and finds himself a male lover? What the fuck is that about?"
"He was probably a latent homosexual," Daniel theorized. "To the point of repression, and John's admission forced him to confront a part of himself he'd been hiding from."
"Ugh," Matt sighed, burying his face into Daniel's shoulder. "I've heard all of this in med school. I just never thought it'd have a real application in my life." He took a deep breath. "I have to figure out how to help John through this. The psych rotation was always hard for me," he confessed.
"Just be yourself," Daniel said.
Matt groaned. "That is the worst advice ever. I seriously don't know why people continue to give it."
Daniel laughed softly. "Maybe some people actually know who they are."
"Or maybe some people have no other shitty advice to offer," Matt said pointedly.
"True," Daniel admitted with a chuckle. "Very true."
"Matthew," John began softly. He felt Matt squeeze his hands gently in encouragement. John was never one for public speaking, especially if it involved so many private emotions. "You get me," John said simply. "You accept everything about me, and still love me. And I love you for that. I promise, on this day, to be there for you for the rest of our lives. I promise to love you and cherish you and never let you forget how special you are to me. You came into my life and just took my breath away, and I'll never forget it. And today you make me the luckiest man alive." John paused and Matt's smile was so fucking beautiful that John forgot to breathe. "Oh," he added. "And I promise to let you organize our closet the way you want to, for the rest of our lives."
Matt laughed softly, along with everyone else in the room. His eyes sparkled with happiness and love and John let everything else fall away except this moment, right now, between the two of them.
"John," Matt said quietly. "You complete me in ways I didn't know could exist. You're so amazing, and understanding, and brilliant that I don't know how I could have ended up with you. But I did," he said. "And I'm never giving you up. I promise to love you forever, no matter what. And I promise to be the best husband you could ever want. I promise to overlook the fact that you spend your day getting sweaty with Marines… as long as you keep inviting me to watch," Matt winked. "I love you, John."
John didn't really know how the rest of the ceremony went. He was aware of Matthew, and had a vague awareness of the person conducting the ceremonies, but there was nothing else. It was just them.
When Matt leaned in for a kiss at the end, John automatically met his lips with his own. And it was so natural to pull back and rest his forehead against Matt's and whisper how much he loved him, that John didn't even really think of this as any different than the hundreds of other times that they had done that. Except this time he was startled out of his reverie by clapping and catcalls from Matt's siblings.
Then everyone was rushing upon them and John tightened his hold on Matt's hand, unwilling to let go even as he was pulled in every which way by people wanting to hug him and congratulate him.
Nothing really clicked in until someone who wasn't Matt's family, or from Atlantis was standing in front of him. Then it all came crashing down and John felt his pulse quicken.
"Thank you for coming," he said quietly. Politely.
"My thanks to your husband for inviting me, John," Robert Sheppard said warmly. "It was a beautiful ceremony."
John nodded automatically even though he didn't remember most of it. "I, um…" he bit his lip nervously. "There's a reception in an hour… at Hanscom, if you, um, want to come."
"I would love to come," his dad answered with a small smile.
"Okay then," John said, a bit unsure. "I don't…" he turned to Matt, who was nonchalantly chatting with his own parents, but John knew that he was really listening into his conversation. "What's the room number again?"
"It's in the McKinley building," Matt supplied instantly. "Room B, you can't miss it. John and I put up a couple of signs this morning."
Robert nodded. "I'll be there."
Matt poked his head into their conversation. "Now, if neither of you two mind, I'm going to steal John away and do some dirty things to him before we have to be there."
John flushed a deep read and hissed, "Matt!"
"What?" Matt asked innocently.
"You can't just say stuff like that!"
"Too late," Matt said sweetly. He dragged John out of the room, leaving more catcalls behind him, and they made their way to one of the rental cars as fast as they could, as it had begun to snow lightly.
John opened the door for Matt and he slid easily into the passenger seat. He ran around to the other side and got in, starting the car. "Should we have ditched everyone like that?"
"Definitely," Matt said. "Especially if we want to beat my parents back to their house and still have time for sex."
John started the car. "Matt!"
Matt laughed. "You're such a prude, John. It's quite endearing."
"I'd just prefer keeping out private life, private," John muttered, pulling out of the parking space. "And having sex in your parents house is not the way to do that."
"Just drive quickly," Matt urged.
"I'll drive safely," John countered.
Matt sighed and grabbed John's right hand in his own. "Do both."
Matt looked immaculate when they walked into the reception hall. John, on the other hand, looked like he had just engaged in as much debauchery as he really had. Matt said it was the hair. Looking down at his black button-up shirt, John was sure it was the way that one of the buttons was off. He flushed as he tried to subtly fix it.
Their friends and family clapped as they entered and Matt grinned while John gave everyone an awkward wave. There was music in the background, food to the right, cake to the left, and alcohol right in front of them. John headed straight for the booze.
He poured a beer into a glass for himself and made a Cosmopolitan for Matt, who accepted it with a hurried thanks before downing half of it in one go. John wondered if Matt was as nervous as he was, or if it was the fact that vodka had nothing on the swill that Radek handed out in old mason jars.
They chatted politely with everyone while John pushed food into Matt's hands and Matt pushed even more food into John's. They really were perfect for each other.
John was still too sober when Matt pulled him onto the makeshift dance floor. And whoever choose the cheesy music playing the in background should reconsider their want to be a DJ, but John ignored it all when Matt rested his head next to John's, and held him close enough that John felt the heat from Matt's body as intensely as he had two hours previous.
"I love you," Matt whispered. "Thank you for this."
"Meh," John answered.
"Really, John," Matt insisted. "I know you did this for me."
John pressed a kiss to the side of Matt's head. "Maybe a little bit for me, too."
"Are you gonna talk to your dad?" Matt asked gently. "He looked so proud of you today, babe."
"I thought maybe… afterward," John admitted. "I just need some time alone with him."
"Please," Matt said like John was stupid. "Like I'm going to leave you alone with the guy who hit you last time he saw you. That's really not happening, John."
"You can come, too," John allowed. "I think I spied a Denny's on the way here… I thought we could go there. Get some egg-nog milkshakes or some coffee."
"I'll let my parents know our plans, so they don't wait up for us."
"I keep thinking about what you said… about him living with someone, with a man," John said. "I just can't wrap my head around that. When I was growing up it was just me and my dad, you know? I'm not sure he even had friends; he spent all of his free time with me."
"People change, babe," Matt soothed. "It sounds like your dad really wants to mend things. I know you're still so hurt, John, and no one would blame you if you decided it was too late, but…"
"Yeah?"
"But I think you want to. I know you want to. So let's not worry about the future, okay? We'll just aim for tonight."
"Who said anything about the future?" John muttered.
Matt laughed softly. "Babe, you wouldn't be you if you weren't worried about tomorrow."
John sighed. "Fine, yes, alright. Egg-nog shakes, those fries with the cheese and the bacon, and no-worrying about tomorrow."
"At least order a salad first, John."
"Ugh," John groaned. "I've just realized I've doomed myself to a life long lecture on eating better."
Matt kissed him on the cheek. "And you're going to love every minute of it."
John had nothing to say to that, because Matt was right; he would love every minute of it.
Denny's was completely empty. It was Boxing Day, and Matt had expected at least a few other people taking refuge in Denny's from the madness that was the day after Christmas. But no. It was just him, John, John's dad, and the really bored waiter and cook.
Matt stole a sip of John's egg-nog shake while John stole more than a sip of his chocolate one.
They sat in a booth, with John nervously bouncing his leg up and down underneath the table. Matt was pretty sure that he was the only one who knew that John was doing that, as above the table he was the center of calm. Too many negotiations with Wraith, Matt decided.
Robert Sheppard broke the silence, while awkwardly twisted a straw wrapper in his hands. "So, um, do you two live together already? Or do you have that to look forward to when you go back."
Matt waited for John to answer, but his husband seemed to have taken a special liking to the design on the table, so Matt answered instead. "We've been living together for a couple of years, now," he supplied.
"Ah." Robert touched a French fry, as it to pick it up, and then abandoned it at the last second. "Do you have anything special planned for the honeymoon?"
"This is it," Matt said. "We've only got three weeks of leave. So we have another week or so here, and then we go back."
"Where's back?"
"Classified," Matt said apologetically. "Sorry."
Robert waved the apology away and they fell back into an uneasy silence. Matt felt John shift next to him, and knew that if Matt hadn't been sitting on the edge, John would have bolted already.
Matt swallowed. "It was really great of you to come to the wedding, Mr. Sheppard."
Robert looked up and met Matt's eyes before they drifted over to John's. "I wouldn't have missed it for the world," he said honestly. "John, I… I don't know how to make this better between us. What I did was… it was inexcusable and you have every right to never want to talk to me again. But if there's even just a small chance that you might want to try and fix things a little bit… I know I don't deserve it…" He trailed off at John's silence and looked down again.
"Dad," John choked out, and Robert's head snapped up. "I do want to fix this. I… I have so many things to tell you. I-I flew and Apache… I thought it was huge the first time I stepped onto one…"
John was holding something that Matt couldn't see when he walked in. He didn't hesitate to stride over to John and wrap his arms around his husband's stomach, leaning his body against John's. It took less than a second for John to lean back into him, even as he kept perusing his… Matt looked down… letter.
"From your dad?" Matt asked, nuzzling John's neck.
"Mm-hmm," John answered distractedly. "He's moving into a smaller house with Jim."
"Ah," Matt said, kissing John's warm skin. "Did he send cookies again?"
John pointed towards the desk, and Matt saw a large tin filled with at least three different kinds of cookies. "Help yourself."
"I love that your dad still overcompensates for the past with copious amounts of sweets," Matt said. "Next time tell him to send some cauliflower."
John finished reading and folded the letter in thirds again. "Yeah, I'll get right on that," he said, turning around in Matt's arms. "How was your day?"
"Meh," Matt said. "Marines fall down and cry, and I patch them back up again."
John rolled his eyes. "Like you don't love seeing them shirtless."
Matt grinned. "You know me too well." He walked John backwards to their bed. "You know who else I love seeing shirtless…"
"Rodney?" John joked as he was pushed down onto the mattress.
"Nope."
"Teyla?"
"Ew."
"Ronon?"
Matt paused. "Well, yes, but even more than him…"
"Damn it," John said lightly. "I told Lorne to keep his shirt on around you."
Matt fell on top of him and slipped his hands under John's shirt. "I had no idea I married a comedian."
"Have to keep you entertained somehow," John said, lifting his arms over his head so Matt could strip off his shirt.
Matt looked down at him. "God, you're so fucking gorgeous."
"And all yours," John promised.
"All mine," Matt smiled.
"Daddy?" Johnny asked.
"Yes, Johnny?" Robert answered.
"What's that?" He said, pointing up towards the sky.
"It's a helicopter," Robert answered. He squinted even more. "An Apache, I think."
"It's so cool. I want to fly one someday," Johnny declared.
"You'll have to tell me all about it when you do," Robert said. "I've never been on a helicopter.
"Never, Daddy?" Johnny asked, wide-eyed.
"Nope," Robert replied with a shake of his head. "Never. But I know you will someday."
"When I do, I'll tell you all about it," Johnny promised.
"Sounds like a plan, Johnny," Robert smiled. "Sounds like a plan.