I have no excuse for this. Seriously, I apologize to you, dear readers, because this is just...well. I'm not a good writer-not even in Czech. And this, guys, is in English. Still not scared?
Okay. I'm not even sure how this began. But I found the begining of this fic a few hours ago and I sorta decided to finish it. Because writing can keep me awake and alive even when the wonderful caffeine fails. And I'm like...really tired right now, school is bad, life is even worse and when I finally get to bed, I end up having nightmares. Great.
The fic itself...was supposed to be a long story of Starscream remembering his relationship with Megatron. But in the end, I was able to write just one memory. And I screwed up anyways.
The purple light
Once again, he failed himself. Left for death by those closest to him, abandoned, betrayed by his own comrades, brothers even, he watched their silouettes disappear in the dull sky. Flat on his back, with energon slowly pooling under him as his life was leaving him, he yelled their names, cursed them, wished them death, and in hopeless pleas begged them to return and take him with them. Too late, he realised. They weren't going back, not for him.
Series of warnings flashed across his vision, but he casted those annoying signs of his own weakness aside and tried to focus on more pleasant things. True, he could'nt remember much, but even the little he could think of would be just enough before he'd offline permanently.
The only memory that came to his mind was one of the most recent. It had been, Starscream knew exactly, after the horrible fiasco in Egypt. It had been just him and Megatron, both freshly repaired after the fight, their bodies clean and perfect, but there had been no soldiers to admire their polished frames. With the Fallen gone and majority of their army offlined, they had been the only ones left on the Nemesis, in their own misery.
He was plotting. Various plans, battle schemes and possible traps were born in his processor, precise and ingenious, but he had no troops to perform those actions with. It almost hurt him, the death of unknown soldiers, that had meant nothing to him, but everything to their cause. They had entered the war with hundreds of soldiers. And now? Soundwave was still hovering over the Earth, latched to an army satellite, Barricade was still pretending to be a part of the police. And he, Starscream, and their not-so-mighty leader, Megatron, were locked on the Nemesis and mourned their loss. Maybe, there were more Decepticons somewhere, scattered across the galaxy, but that would mean there were more Autobots, too. Starscream had stopped to believe in better future long ago, had refused to cling to the name of their possible salvation-Earth. In the end, the planet brought them death, not life as they had expected.
Heavy footsteps tore him from his musings. He recognised the sound and turned around just in time to face his leader. Once again, he found himself surprised by how strong Megatron could look even in times of a complete defeat. No one, not even the great Optimus Prime, had this ability that had always fascinated Starscream. Megatron seemed to be completely unaffected by the presence of his treasonous second, but the schemes partly hidden behind the jet's wings caught his attention.
"Fool."Megatron snarled and pushed Starscream aside. His optics quickly scanned the almost finished battle plans, searching for any mistakes, and finding none."We wouldn't win even if we had those sooner."Megatron finally said, subconsciously rubbing the repaired side of his face that had been so mercilessy destroyed by Optimus. "Tell me...what makes us weaker than them? What is the thing we don't have and they do?"
Starscream heard the faint edge in Megatron's voice. His leader seemed to be strong, but felt the defeat just like everyone else. "Right now, they have soldiers. And resources. And allies. And the Prime." Starscream wasn't sure about the answer, he had wondered about those things even before they reached Earth."And we have nothing left."
He stiffened as a loud sigh escaped Megatron's vents. Hot air caressed his wings, just like the faint cybertronian breeze he had adored so much. "How is this possible? We were the ones fighting for a greater good. We wanted to revive Cybertron and overthrow the corrupt council! So why?"Megatron roared and Starscream stepped back, letting the sharp edge of the console painfully dig into his back.
Of course he knew the answer. Megatron had never been meant to win, not with his politics and the motto, "Peace through tyranny." And the army of freaks, sadists and mechs not brave enough to join the noble Autobots. And if not for that, the war wasn't about Cybertron anymore. They fought against the Autobots- their former enemy, the council, the rich, were long dead. But Megatron failed to see that.
"Maybe we should try to find the rest of our army before the Autobots can do the same?"Starscream offered just to avoid answering Megatron. "Soundwave can send an encrypted signal anytime you tell him to."
Megatron growled. Any suggestion meant disrespect, especially when said suggestion came from his second. "I will command him whenever I see fit."
"Of course, mighty Megatron."Starscream replied mockingly and smirked. He knew Megatron would not hit him, not after wasting so much metal and time on repairing him. Actually, Starscream couldn't remember the last time Megatron had used violence to discipline him. Maybe, it was really a matter of the past.
"And finish those. And make more, if you can manage. I do not wish for you to run around the base just out of pure boredom."Megatron finally said and walked away. Starscream listned to the heavy footsteps, and while keeping a cool facade, inwardly smiled.
Megatron had just praised him in a way, by approving of his battleschemes. Maybe it was a meaningless thing, but that had never mattered to Starscream before.
Just a few breems later, Starscream was forced to face Megatron again, that time in a very different fashion. After a few hours of sitting and working, he really wanted to stretch his body, possibly in a flight. The only problem between him and the freezing air was Megatron, or better to say, the permission he had almost never granted.
"Just for a while. I have already finished the work. I need a break!"Starscream screeched. Megatron's total ignorance of the others' wishes and needs was simply amazing, and not in a good way.
"There are no breaks in the war. And you haven't done enough. Go back and make at least two times more of the plans. Till then..."
Starscream slightly parted his lips, but Megatron sileneced him just in time "They could spot you. And no matter how I hate the fact, I need you in this war. Getting yourself killed would help neither you, nor me or our cause."
Starscream had no answer to that. He pressed his lips into a grim line and almost began to walk away, when Megatron stopped him. "You still don't realise, how slagged we are, Starscream. That was our last chance. Now, we can only fight for survival."
"I know that!"Starscream spat. "But we can still win. The Autobots are weak, pathetic, and defensless, maybe we still have hope!"
"Figures."Megatron waved his hand. The smile on his face was slightly disconcerting as well as the dim glow of his optics. "You are far too young and naïve to understand. I will show you, how deep the things run, how helpless we are."A moment of silence and then the leader spoke again."Open up."
Starscream didn't know if he should feel honored, proud, scared or horrified by what Megatron was going to do. It took him a moment to realise and a few minutes to fully understand the meaning of Megatron's proposal. For it was something very rare, Megatron had never spoken of such a thing before. The Fallen had asked him to do it but only to see Starscream's true intentions. However Megatron seemed to want to make the complete act.
Starscream took a deep breath and then send overrides to his armour locks. The plating of his chest shifted and the room was suddenly illuminated by pale blue light. His spark glowed in the dark and Megatron stared at the crystal, stunned. His optics were dim, his lips parted, his intakes heavy.
The jet almost smiled. He knew how pretty he was, how much he could turn others on, how badly Megatron wanted him. His self-consciousness seemed to grow in moments like that, when even the tyrant admired him with a needy look in his optics.
"Good." Megatron sighed and then, in one step, closed the distance between them. His hands found Starscream's waist and pulled him to the tyrant's chest. Starscream almost leaned into the touch as he felt the cool plating of his lord against his own overheated frame. "Are you ready?"
Starscream nodded and Megatron's chest plating retracted, revealing a crystal as red as the warlord's optics and maybe even brighter. Pale blue immediately reached for the burning crimson, small tendrils of light hesitantly touching and and dancing together, joining in a bright swirl of colours.
Starscream shuddered, when their sparks met. He felt Megatron's thoughts mingle with his while his mind traveled through the bond, dividing between their bodies. The world around them no longer existed, only him and Megatron and that they were one, mattered. He could touch his own wings through Megatron's hands, he could see his own spark through Megatron's optics. And then the reality shattered. The fragments of the present reamined somewhere deep inside him while the world spun around and he suddenly found himself lost in Megatron's memories.
The weight of realisation crushed him as if he was a fragile sparkling, not an armoured soldier. What he saw, what he felt in Megatron's core, left a dark, hollow space in his own spark. The things Megatron showed him, memories of horrors long forgotten, the very beginning of the war, the hatred, the pain of the loss, the cold dead hope...
Somewhere far, far away, he felt a sharp tug as Megatron tore away his cover. Starscream heard himself cry out when Megatron's spike sank into him. The pain brought him back to the real world, though not exactly to his body. Their sparks and minds remained linked and now, the connection became physical.
It hurt at first, Starscream was unprepared, scared. The movement was uncomfortable, even for Megatron. The tyrant groaned and kissed the jet hard. Starscream moaned into the kiss, clinging to the larger frame. Strong hands stroked his wings, caressed them and lightly scratched their surface, Megatron's lips were firmly pressed to Starscream's in a deep kiss. Their sparks surged and pulsed, blue melting into red, crimson blending with azure into glowing beauty which somehow resembled the Decepticon purple.
Starscream felt the lubricant trickle down his thighs as Megatron finally moved within him. It wasn't gentle-and Starscream would never want it to be-the warlord's thrusts were hard, the pace fast. The pleasure-and Starscream couldn't distinguish between Megatron's and his own- pooled inside their bodies and without a warning erupted in a bright flash of light as their systems went supernova and total bliss took over.
Things were never the same again after that. Starscream could not think of Megatron the same way he usually had before. And the unforgiving tyrant seemed to loose his sharpness around the jet at times. Starscream thought they had crossed a line with their merging, but he never found enough will to regret.
And in his last moments, he found comfort in the memory. He had probably lost his hope and faith back then, but he had also found something else to fill the empty space. He closed his eyes, letting a joyful, purple light fill his vision, as the life left him forever.
The smut part was supposed to be longer. Though there was no energy left in me to write it. Sorry XD And I know I shouldn't put commas everywhere. But I just have to :'D
Well, anyways, if you've made it so far, it shouldn't be difficult to review. Because that's why I did this. (I seriously need to get soooooo much better to pass the leaving exams next year. Care to help me?) I'm ready to hear honest criticism.