From the beginning she's felt it - the presence of a third party in their relationship. At times it's so overwhelming that she wonders why she stays with him. But then he does something uncharacteristically thoughtful it's as if she was the most important person in the world to him. The feeling never lasts. Sometimes it's days, sometimes it's only hours before she's back to being second best. Forever in competition with a dead woman. It's an unfair fight, and one she knows she can never win.
There are days when he questions if he should really be in another relationship. It's too soon. He sees Claire's ghost everywhere. It's not fair to Abbie. He knows she feels her presence too. He should give Abbie up. Playing second fiddle to a ghost is too much to ask of anyone, but she's under his skin just as much as Claire was. It's just unfortunate that Claire got there first.
Chaos roiled around them as the cops tackled the man to the ground, disarming him. Too little, too late. He dropped to his knees beside Abbie and pressed a hand to her wound, feeling her hot life-blood pumping from her with every second. "I can't do this again," he thought. "I can't lose another…"
She knows the precise minute their friendship died. As he knelt above her, a hand pressed to her chest trying to staunch the flow of blood, she watched as the panic in his eyes slowly gave way to a mask of calm dispassion. The sirens in the background got louder as she fought to stay conscious, but as the world faded to black she felt chilled by his touch.
When she returned to work eight weeks later the mask had been replaced by an impenetrable wall. Not once had he been to see her, or even called to ask how she was. His signature was there on the Get Well card from the DA's office, but it's just one of many.
She's not sure why it happened, but their relationship is purely professional now. Even the combative friendship they had established early on has been replaced with a cold polite distance. She struggles to find any joy in her job so when the offer from the U.S. Attorney General's Office comes she accepts immediately and slips out of his life with barely a goodbye.
She's not sure he'd even noticed. For her part, her trust and faith in love and friendship is dented just a little more.
Lennie's not too happy with me these days, and Detective Benson glares at me any time we cross paths. I know Abbie was close to both of them. But Lennie of all people should understand. He should know why I had to cut her from my life. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but it was necessary, and Abbie will be much better off without me, personally and professionally.
Still I can't shake the impression that Claire's ghost watches me with more than a hint of reproach now.