** Disclaimer: I don't own LotR, Tolkien does. Don't sue me, you won't get
nothing.
A/N: I'm not using Elvish, I think it's dumb. This is my story, so if you don't like it, Kiss my Ass and get over it. Thank you very much.
Once upon a time, (it started that way, cuz none of this Elvish crap is real) there was this girl, named Chanté. She was a fairy. She was in love with this boy named Sam. He was a hobbit, cuz he was short and didn't wear shoes. Well, there was this other guy named Gollum, and he didn't wear shoes either. He loved Chanté. (now, I bet you're wondering what's up with Frodo. He's busy being invisible with that dumb Ring)
So, Sam wanted to marry Chanté. SO they were gonna get married. At the wedding, when the preacher said "If anyone knows any just reason why these people should not get married, speak now or forever hold your peace."
Gollum stood and cried out," I loveses her!"
But Chanté decided she didn't want to marry Sam, so she ran out of the church because she wanted to marry Legolas because he wore shoes. Well, when she got to Legolas, he was on his deathbed. Why, you ask? Because Jack Sparrow, (i mean CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow) turned him into a skeleton person (undead). Well, Chanté decided she didn't want to marry a skeleton person. So she went to find Frodo, but she couldn't find him because he was invisible (with that dumb Ring).
So then, she went to find Sam, but Sam was married already to Amanda, her maid of honor. And they were making babies in the big castle. And Chanté said, "I don't want to marry Gollum, but I want to get married." So, Chanté was walking down the street and found a Waffle House, and she went inside because everyone knows your name at Waffle House. She pulled out her handy-dandy cellphone and called Brandi and said, "I'm in Egypt. But tell Monica I'll be there to play the keyboard in five minutes." as she hung up the phone and got done with her vanilla coffee, she went and looked for Frodo, but still couldn't find him because of that dumb Ring.
SO, (this is getting really boring) like the book says, "Alls well that ends well", but that's a lie because Chanté don't got no one to marry. Until she see Neal walking down the street in a big chicken suit. And Chanté said, "Neal, marry me."
And he said, "HARK! No, I'm going to find Amanda."
And then, Chanté decided she was not going to get married and live in a house with a bunch of cats, but then remembered she hated cats and bought Gollum as a pet instead.
So, then, she goes and buys herself an apartment and decides she going to be by herself for the rest of her life (with her pet Gollum)
And Amanda leaves Sam for Neal. But she didn't like the chicken suit so she decided to go marry Justin Timberlake and have 10 kids. The kids names were: Sally, Jessie, Suzy, Billy, Bobby, Gene, Mary, Sue, Johnny, and Shaniqua.
And Sam died of a broken heart. Monica played in the band without Chanté because she never showed up because she was in her house by herself with her pet Gollum. Brandi worked at the dump and drove her dumptruck around everyday. And accidently ran over Legolas because she didn't see him on his deathbed. She then ran away with Jack Sparrow (I mean, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow).
And they still can't find Frodo because of that dumb Ring.
A/N: I'm not using Elvish, I think it's dumb. This is my story, so if you don't like it, Kiss my Ass and get over it. Thank you very much.
Once upon a time, (it started that way, cuz none of this Elvish crap is real) there was this girl, named Chanté. She was a fairy. She was in love with this boy named Sam. He was a hobbit, cuz he was short and didn't wear shoes. Well, there was this other guy named Gollum, and he didn't wear shoes either. He loved Chanté. (now, I bet you're wondering what's up with Frodo. He's busy being invisible with that dumb Ring)
So, Sam wanted to marry Chanté. SO they were gonna get married. At the wedding, when the preacher said "If anyone knows any just reason why these people should not get married, speak now or forever hold your peace."
Gollum stood and cried out," I loveses her!"
But Chanté decided she didn't want to marry Sam, so she ran out of the church because she wanted to marry Legolas because he wore shoes. Well, when she got to Legolas, he was on his deathbed. Why, you ask? Because Jack Sparrow, (i mean CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow) turned him into a skeleton person (undead). Well, Chanté decided she didn't want to marry a skeleton person. So she went to find Frodo, but she couldn't find him because he was invisible (with that dumb Ring).
So then, she went to find Sam, but Sam was married already to Amanda, her maid of honor. And they were making babies in the big castle. And Chanté said, "I don't want to marry Gollum, but I want to get married." So, Chanté was walking down the street and found a Waffle House, and she went inside because everyone knows your name at Waffle House. She pulled out her handy-dandy cellphone and called Brandi and said, "I'm in Egypt. But tell Monica I'll be there to play the keyboard in five minutes." as she hung up the phone and got done with her vanilla coffee, she went and looked for Frodo, but still couldn't find him because of that dumb Ring.
SO, (this is getting really boring) like the book says, "Alls well that ends well", but that's a lie because Chanté don't got no one to marry. Until she see Neal walking down the street in a big chicken suit. And Chanté said, "Neal, marry me."
And he said, "HARK! No, I'm going to find Amanda."
And then, Chanté decided she was not going to get married and live in a house with a bunch of cats, but then remembered she hated cats and bought Gollum as a pet instead.
So, then, she goes and buys herself an apartment and decides she going to be by herself for the rest of her life (with her pet Gollum)
And Amanda leaves Sam for Neal. But she didn't like the chicken suit so she decided to go marry Justin Timberlake and have 10 kids. The kids names were: Sally, Jessie, Suzy, Billy, Bobby, Gene, Mary, Sue, Johnny, and Shaniqua.
And Sam died of a broken heart. Monica played in the band without Chanté because she never showed up because she was in her house by herself with her pet Gollum. Brandi worked at the dump and drove her dumptruck around everyday. And accidently ran over Legolas because she didn't see him on his deathbed. She then ran away with Jack Sparrow (I mean, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow).
And they still can't find Frodo because of that dumb Ring.