ALRIGHT, if your new, then hello my friends, you have stumbled upon a thing im doing because i saw another guy do it.
My plot bunny archive. The title will have the fandom inside of it and if i ever desire to begin the story i will take it of of this and post it in its own story.
For those of you who have followed me then sup, these are the things i write randomly instead of working on the other three storys.
These are also unedited so, eh.
Also, any other authers out their, a question.
Do you have to do the guidelines thing for every new story or is my account defunct?
(0-0)
You ever have a shitty day?
You wake up with cat shit on your floor.
You get called and it turns out that you're place of work is closed because someone decided to crash into the building.
You go to your car and it turns out someone took your gas.
You walk to the gas station and wait for an hour because they aren't open.
You walk back and when you get ready to go hang out with your friends they cancel.
Today has been pretty shitty.
Eh, could be worse. At-least i get to shoot my nugget before the weekend.
Oh, yeah, the nugget, its the Mosin-Nagant. The thing the Russians used in world war two.
Its pretty cool. Loud as fuck, like, hammer of god when compared stuff like ARs.
Anyway. I had fun. Shot some targets.
Today was pretty boring though.
Intill i opened my trunk.
"Meow."
Looking up at me like its normal was my cat. Bonzei. Dont ask about the name.
Looking around my trunk at all my shit that is now out of place i see my bow and arrow quiver covered in my ammo for my nugget and my pistol.
The other side has my box of tools and random shit knocked over and spilled on the floor.
And she was sitting on top of my play-station that i forgot to take out.
Picking her up, and putting my nugget into the trunk, i get into the drivers seat.
I set her down next to me and start driving.
So, me. I am what you call a self aware asshole. But im a funny asshole. Just ask my friends.
Im twenty, American, pretty chill most of the time. I have a pretty fucked up moral system. I'm native American, a good six foot five. I usually just wear jeans a t-shirt and an open hoodie.
I also monologue a lot. And i have a active imagination. Like sticking everything i need in order to survive the zombie apocalypse in my car imagination.
Anywa-WHAT THE FUCK
Slamming my foot on the break i skid to a halt in a intersection.
The honks died down when they saw what i saw.
Some weird green circle in the air.
seeing some weird thing in the road i do what every American would do.
Grab a Glock.
As i was about to heroically walk up to it and poke it someone did something ingenious.
Someone hit the car in the back, that hit the car in-front of it, moving up two more cars and then pushing my cars bumper into the green.
Then the thing started pulling my car into it.
And the doors wear locked. and the window wouldn't go down or break.
So, as i was pulled into possible death, i did what anyone would do.
I stuck my hand out the window and flipped the bird.
(0-0)
As the explosion dust was blown away from a quick wind spell Louise looked at the spot of summoning with hope, ignoring her classmates.
"Did Zero summon a chariot?"
"I know shes Zero but this doesn't even make sense."
Louise looked at the red and black chariot with a twitching eye.
'It is finly crafted.' was the thought of the voice of reason in her head.
It didnt help.
"Professor Colbert, i cant have that as a Familiar let my try again!"
"Im sorry, but the summoning ritual is a sacred thing and it must not be trifled with."
Louise started moving to the chariot with as much dignity as she could.
As she stood in-front of it she began to cast the binding spell.
Then a cat jumped on her face.
"MEOW!?"
"DAMMIT CAT!"
Swinging the door open stood a tall, black haired Germanian looking man holding a strange blocky shape with a handle.
And he was speaking Albion. Granted, a strange dialect of it, but Albion non-the-less.
It was at this point he stopped and looked around.
"Uh, hi."
(0-0)
'Why am i surrounded by uniformed school students in a castle?' Was the first thought in Johns head.
Why Bonzei was straddling some little girls face was the second.
"Uh, hi."
"Louise summoned a Germanian? HAHA."
"Yeah, wait, why is he in a horseless chariot though?"
As the girl with, pink hair, got up she looked at John with rage.
"Just who are you commoner?"
"Uh, I don't speak French."
The girl let confusion pass her face for a second before responding with more anger.
"It is called Tristianian and who are you?" She said in English.
"Im john. And why am i here? Last thing i remember is getting pushed into a green porta-HOLLY SHIT WERE AM I?"
The little girl got even more red in the face.
"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK IN SUCH A CRUD MANOR IN-FRONT OF YOUR BETT-"But she was silenced with cat as Bonzei jumped on-top of her again.
"Can someone tell me whats going on?" John asked ignoring the snickers from the other kids.
(0-0)
Colbert was worried.
The Familiar was still holding the strange item. And the item looks a lot like a advanced flintlock variant that has been circulating around.
"Uh sir. It appears there has been some confusion, you have been summoned to serve as miss Valliere's Familiar."
"Uh, whats a familiar do?" The, very tall, man asked looking at Valliere being subdued by a Cat.
"You will collect ingredients and protect and serve me in any way i see fit!" Louise exclaimed as she got the cat in a firm grip. Why does the cat look like its smirking.
"So, let me get this straight." The man started. "You took me against my will," Oh no, "Brought me to some random place that i have no clue of were it is," Colbert began preparing a flame spell for short ranged engagements, "And now you want me to do what you say for no reason?"
"Of course!"
"No."
"Good, now stand sti- what?"
"Fuck that, im not going to be some slave boy to some random kidnapping little girl."
The crowd began snickering from behind before His gaze landed on them.
"And you guys are in deep shit to, when the government finds out about some group of people in the wild with teleporting devices and kidnapping tendencies they are gonna bomb you to shit!"
That shut them up. The thought of war with were this man was from didn't sit well with them even if they were small the metal working of the carriage and the threat of violence made the smarter students relies that they just witnessed the beginning of a political shit-storm. Well, maybe not that exact phrasing, but the point stands.
As John was ranting at them Louise finished the spell and kissed him on the lips.
"...Why did you do that?" John asked as he looked down at the Pinket.
Then the burning started.
"FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
John clenched his hand and hissed out something half resembling a word as he sank to his knees in agony.
He might have passed out if not for two things.
He was slightly drunk.
And he has burnt himself on numerous occasions, having slight pyromaniac tendencies. And by that i mean he gets to close the the fire when he has smores.
Then it went away.
"WHAT WAS THAT?"
"That was the binding ritual Familiar."
"Im still not doing what you tell me."
(0-0)
The two sat looking at each other while Bonzei made herself comfy on all the nice pillows.
"Alright. I think we need to put down some ground rules."
"Who says you are the one in positions to make demands!"
"The fact that you did kidnap me and by law im legally allowed to smother you in your sleep?"
Louise paled.
"Or i could just break your neck with my 'uneducated commoner brute hands'."
And paler.
"Oh yeah, theirs also the window and the fact that you cant fly."
Louise reached for her wand on the table only to see the cat holding it in her mouth chewing on it.
She looked back at John with fear in her eyes.
The he laughed.
"HAHAHA, the look on your face is priceless. Heh, no im not gonna kill you. Im already done at being murderously mad at you. I thought it over and if what Colbert told me is true then im in a different world. And to be honest, im kinda glad."
"What?"
"My world is kinda shit at the moment. Nothing fun to do. Well, Meaningful fun, at-least. We have covered our world and we arent going into space yet. Kinda just sitting and doing jack shit."
"LANGUAGE! And what are you talking about? Being from a different world? Thats ridiculous."
"My google maps and pictures disagree with you..."
(0-0)
Seeing Louise eyes widen in surprise is kind adorable to watch. Wait what? Dick what the fuck man. Thats not my fetish, and i know its not yours. Yeah you better not get hard.
"You, Your, How strong are your mages to be able to do this?"
"We don't use magic."
"WHAT?!"
"Well while you browse that im gonna go get stuff from my car brb." He said walking out the door.
'That was a good exit.' As john got to a stair case he heard something.
"Oh Kaity my beautiful love."
"Guiche your so handsome."
As John walked down he pointedly ignored the violation of his young virgin ears.
"Arent you the Zeros familiar?"
"Yes by."
Guiche stood with a finger up and his mouth open as if to say something. Then he stopped caring and went back to the First year.
John got to his car and popped the trunk. He grabbed some things. Blanket, pillow, machete. Only what you would normally take. As he set his hand on his Glock he felt weird. He felt great, he felt flighty , he felt like he could go three rounds with Mike Tyson. Then he started lifting of the ground.
"Dafuck?"
Floating upside down he saw Louise, the gay looking dude, a girl with a big glasses and a massive wand, and the big...cleavage...tall...'NO DICK NOT NOW'.
"What do you think your doing Familier?"
"Getting a blanket and pillows." John said as he waved said items around.
"YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO FAMILIAR!"
"My name is John." He said while eying Bonzei creep up behind Guiche.
"Yes, well commoner, you need to-"BEHIND YOU!" John screamed. Guiche Wipped around, wand ready, to fight a small cat lying on its back.
"Awwwwww-"HETROSEXUAL PILLOW FIGHT!"
Guiche was summarily smacked with Johns pillow. It didnt really do anything.
What, he may be a bitch but even bitches can take pillows to the face and not be fazed.
It did distract him long enough for John to take his wand out of his hand.
"GIVE THAT BACK!"
John looked over to cleava-Kirche and handed her the wand.
"Since you didnt try to magic mike me ill let you hold this intill he learns that its rude to do that to people."
Kirche could only grin in amusement. The last time she meet someone like John was when she meet the royal jester during a party.
"So whats your name?" John asked the short girl with the staff.
"Tabitha."
"Okay, see you guys tomaro, i have a Pinkett to educate." John said as he swung Louise onto his back.
"PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!"
"No."