Title: Perceptive Hearts I.
By Jaye Reid.
Written: April 10 - 11th, 2002.
Spoilers: Seasons 1 - 3.
Category: 2 Part Vignette
J/D Romance.
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: Not mine never will be. Property of AS and WB.
Summary: Josh POV.
When you eavesdrop, you shouldn't complain about hearing the truth.
Archiving: 'Boulevard of Misdirection'
http://users.mcmedia.com.au/~jayereid/jldmmain.htm
fanfiction.net and anywhere else if you ask.
Authors notes: URGH! I'm busy... I don't have time for this! But wouldn't you know it, Josh and Donna wouldn't listen and decided they needed to do this. Same timeframe but from two POV's... I wrote this one first if you prefer to read it in order. Josh wouldn't let Donna get a word in when he started telling his version of events... that's why I wrote this one first. .
As always, Bridget looked this over and passed comment prior to posting. Ta!
~*~
Am I superior or what?
No need to answer, we all know it's a true statement.
I am the Ultimate Political Operative.
Ultimate.
I think it has a nice ring to it.
I've spent since eight this morning up on the Hill, and now I am back in my domain to proudly display my kill and share my spoils.
Okay... so Donna would say that my ego arrived here five minutes before me... but she can be a bit of a killjoy sometimes.
Speaking of my killjoy... she's not at her desk.
Damn.
How can one make a proclamation of... of... *supremacy* over the enemy if she's not here to share it?
Well... not here listening to me brag.
Ahhh... voices. I hear voices.
No, not like that.
I can hear said missing-in-action assistant in my office. I can also hear someone else. I don't know whom, and I can't place the voice. Is it Ginger?
I approach my office and I now I recognize the other voice.
Oops... I should know that one.
It's Amy.
I stealthily step back against the wall near my door.
Hey!
It's my office.
So don't say I shouldn't be eavesdropping...
This might be interesting.
I wonder what Amy is doing here in the middle of the day?
Oh... middle of the day.
As in lunchtime.
I think I might have asked her to have lunch with me.
And if I'm not mistaken, I think Donna mentioned that I have a lunch with Senator Rees at 12.30.
I really should check with Donna before I ask Amy to lunch...
No, strike that thought before it grows legs and walks on it's own. Asking Donna if I can have lunch with my girlfriend doesn't sound right.
"So, who is this?"
What or who is Amy talking about?
"You don't know?" I hear Donna reply.
"No I don't. I'm guessing this is Josh, but the girl? There's a larger copy of this one in his bookcase at home. I figure to have a picture of him when he was a kid with someone - well..."
"It's his sister."
My beautiful sister Joanie. I don't think I've ever...
"Ahh... I didn't know he has a sister, he doesn't mention her."
"Had, not has. She... she died not long after this photo was taken."
Nope, obviously I haven't said anything to Amy about Joanie. Really I don't know if that is something intentional or whether I just assumed she knew years ago.
"Oh. He never said anything about..."
"It's... they were close. He doesn't like to talk about it."
I'm getting the distinct impression I don't want to listen to anymore of this conversation. But like watching one of those crappy reality TV shows... I can't seem to walk away.
Donna is right; I don't talk about Joanie much. I mean, I guess I don't have to. Donna knows the story... she knows many stories about Joanie and well, Amy just... yeah, doesn't. I guess it's not a subject you can just slip into conversation. You know, 'when I was a little kid my big sister who I adored, cherished and used to annoy the hell out of, died in a fire - and I lived.'
Not a great conversation opener eh?
"There seems to be plenty he doesn't talk about - the shooting for example."
Oh, now I *really* wish I had burst in here without the thoughts of covertness and what not.
"We... he... Rosslyn and the aftermath... it's not a topic we, any of us here discuss in any great detail."
"The aftermath? His recovery you mean?"
Come on Donna... please don't... yeah I know, I'm supposed to be in a relationship with Amy, but I just didn't get around to telling her about the PTSD. Don't tell her about the PTSD Donna... please... don't tell her, don't tell..."
"Yes, his recovery. It took months and he hated relying on people to do things for him."
Thank you Donna...
"I know you like him too."
What is Amy talking about? Of course she likes me... geez she works with me almost 24/7. Well maybe not quite the full twenty-four hours these days, because I have had to spend some time with Amy and well... get an hour sleep here or there.
There's a small pause, and I then hear Donna.
"Can I speak frankly?"
Uh oh... Donna speaking frankly is - actually rare these days. It's been a while now. She used to do it to me all the time. She'd wander into my office and close the door behind her. I knew I might as well put the pen or file, or whatever I was doing aside, because Donna Moss had her 'I'm gonna speak frankly' face on.
I miss it.
"You only like him Amy? When Josh gets involved in something - anything - he gives it one hundred and fifty percent. You're his girlfriend, you have to more than *like* him. I know Josh, and if he wants this to work between the two of you, he's going to be investing everything he can emotionally. God Amy... if you don't love him, don't let him think you do."
You know, it's lucky I'm being stealthy here. If I wasn't, I would have collapsed on the floor by now.
The air seems to have abandoned my lungs.
It's me.
They're talking about *me*.
Okay... don't say it, yeah I know I have an extraordinary ego. But working around Donna who just loves to bring my down a peg or three... I need a big ego to begin with to compensate.
Amy only likes me?
Well that's interesting to know.
Donna thinks that when I really want something, I give it one hundred and fifty percent? Yeah, she knows me well. Why do I suddenly feel like I've been cheating Amy here?
Simple.
She's not even getting one hundred percent, let along one fifty.
There's silence, and I know I have to be on the lookout for signs one of them or both are leaving my office. I quickly glance around, and no one seems to have paid any attention to the fact I'm standing here.
"J and I... it's not... well, it's not forever. Come on, it's not like I could really see myself sitting on the porch in the rocking chair with him in our twilight years."
"Does he know that?"
Hmm, yeah Donna - I do know. Funny, I'm not upset about it. I'm figuring here that I should be, but honestly... I don't think I could see myself in that picture with Amy either.
There's no answer from Amy to Donna's question.
"He needs someone to *love* him, not just *like* him."
That little statement on my well-being was from my killjoy assistant.
"That's what you're for. You don't like him do you? You love him. You *could* see the whole sitting on the front porch watching..."
Whoooa Amy. Sheesh, what is she doing suggesting something like that in the White House? In my office! What if someone was to overhear...
Hmm...
Yeah, like I just did.
Come on Donna, tell her. Tell her that... well that...
"It doesn't matter that I love him - it's you he goes home to."
Oh...
Umm...
Well...
Yeah?
She loves me? Like, okay... ego back into operational mode here... the tone in Donna's voice tells me she's not talking about loving me like... like a sibling or something.
She means the real stuff here.
Wow.
"He doesn't come home to me Donna. And even if he did, it would only be the shell. His head is in this... the politics and as much as it may surprise you, someone in this room that isn't me holds his heart. I'm not stupid Donna, I know it's only a matter of time before he figures it out."
Hmm... I guess the time is now eh? Does this mean Amy is waiting for me to break up with her? It sounds like it, doesn't it.
"If it isn't politics, Josh will never figure it out."
Ha! That's what you think Donnatella Moss!
"Donna, if you want him... look, I don't want to sound like a martyr here, but if you love him..."
"What you think I should just tell him? 'Good morning Joshua, here is your schedule, senior staff is in 5 minutes oh and by the way I'm in love with you?' I could see *that* would go down well. My God, I don't believe I'm having this conversation with his girlfriend."
You know, she's just guaranteed that I'm gonna listen to every word she says when she gives me my schedule in future. I wouldn't want to miss that gem if she decided to slip it in there. And if she can't imagine she's having this conversation with my girlfriend, well just imagine how I feel! That's of course if she knew I knew... which she doesn't and she can't because then I would have to 'fess up to being out here listening in and I don't think that would be a good move.
"But it's the truth."
"Yes but..."
"It's the truth Donna. Actually you know the first thing I asked him when he dropped by was whether you and he were dating. He said you weren't and that's obviously true... but you two have something... J and I... well there was no way it would have worked."
"Amy..."
"Just tell him. Anyway, I should go. As you said before, he must have double booked lunch. I'm gonna get going and..."
Whoooaa... time for me to exit really quickly here.
I back away and move around the partition to Donna's desk.
Okay, deep breath. I didn't just hear Donna tell Amy that she loves me, or Amy tell Donna to just tell me.
"DONNA!!!"
"DONNATELLA??"
"Must you bellow Joshua?" she says as she strides out of my office with Amy close behind her.
"Well we run a country here, you should know to be at your desk when I arrive back from an extremely fruitful slaying on the Hill." I reply leaning my back against the doorway. Casual... I can do this...
"J... fruitful slaying? Isn't that an oxymoron?"
"Or just plan moron?" Donna adds with a grin.
"Hey Amy. What is this? Gang up on the brilliant political operative day?"
"Oh please!" states Donna, pushing me aside so she can get to her desk.
"J... you seem to have double booked lunch. You really should have asked Donna if we could have lunch together before you asked me."
Funny, it doesn't sound wrong when Amy says it.
"Oh... well, I'm not sure when we can catch up again so..."
"Give me a call J," Amy called to me. She was already heading down the hallway.
"Okay," I yelled back. Yeah, sometime... well before I leave office I should.
"Josh... Senator Rees..."
"Yeah Senator Rees..."
"Josh, are you okay? You look a little..."
"I'm fine... everything's good."
I'm *not* fine, everything is *totally* upside down and I don't really know what to do next. My Assistant is in love with me, my girlfriend isn't and I... I think... damn, I know I'm with the wrong woman.
Tell Donna that?
Yeah - soon.
I'm gonna tell her soon.
The end.
By Jaye Reid.
Written: April 10 - 11th, 2002.
Spoilers: Seasons 1 - 3.
Category: 2 Part Vignette
J/D Romance.
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: Not mine never will be. Property of AS and WB.
Summary: Josh POV.
When you eavesdrop, you shouldn't complain about hearing the truth.
Archiving: 'Boulevard of Misdirection'
http://users.mcmedia.com.au/~jayereid/jldmmain.htm
fanfiction.net and anywhere else if you ask.
Authors notes: URGH! I'm busy... I don't have time for this! But wouldn't you know it, Josh and Donna wouldn't listen and decided they needed to do this. Same timeframe but from two POV's... I wrote this one first if you prefer to read it in order. Josh wouldn't let Donna get a word in when he started telling his version of events... that's why I wrote this one first. .
As always, Bridget looked this over and passed comment prior to posting. Ta!
~*~
Am I superior or what?
No need to answer, we all know it's a true statement.
I am the Ultimate Political Operative.
Ultimate.
I think it has a nice ring to it.
I've spent since eight this morning up on the Hill, and now I am back in my domain to proudly display my kill and share my spoils.
Okay... so Donna would say that my ego arrived here five minutes before me... but she can be a bit of a killjoy sometimes.
Speaking of my killjoy... she's not at her desk.
Damn.
How can one make a proclamation of... of... *supremacy* over the enemy if she's not here to share it?
Well... not here listening to me brag.
Ahhh... voices. I hear voices.
No, not like that.
I can hear said missing-in-action assistant in my office. I can also hear someone else. I don't know whom, and I can't place the voice. Is it Ginger?
I approach my office and I now I recognize the other voice.
Oops... I should know that one.
It's Amy.
I stealthily step back against the wall near my door.
Hey!
It's my office.
So don't say I shouldn't be eavesdropping...
This might be interesting.
I wonder what Amy is doing here in the middle of the day?
Oh... middle of the day.
As in lunchtime.
I think I might have asked her to have lunch with me.
And if I'm not mistaken, I think Donna mentioned that I have a lunch with Senator Rees at 12.30.
I really should check with Donna before I ask Amy to lunch...
No, strike that thought before it grows legs and walks on it's own. Asking Donna if I can have lunch with my girlfriend doesn't sound right.
"So, who is this?"
What or who is Amy talking about?
"You don't know?" I hear Donna reply.
"No I don't. I'm guessing this is Josh, but the girl? There's a larger copy of this one in his bookcase at home. I figure to have a picture of him when he was a kid with someone - well..."
"It's his sister."
My beautiful sister Joanie. I don't think I've ever...
"Ahh... I didn't know he has a sister, he doesn't mention her."
"Had, not has. She... she died not long after this photo was taken."
Nope, obviously I haven't said anything to Amy about Joanie. Really I don't know if that is something intentional or whether I just assumed she knew years ago.
"Oh. He never said anything about..."
"It's... they were close. He doesn't like to talk about it."
I'm getting the distinct impression I don't want to listen to anymore of this conversation. But like watching one of those crappy reality TV shows... I can't seem to walk away.
Donna is right; I don't talk about Joanie much. I mean, I guess I don't have to. Donna knows the story... she knows many stories about Joanie and well, Amy just... yeah, doesn't. I guess it's not a subject you can just slip into conversation. You know, 'when I was a little kid my big sister who I adored, cherished and used to annoy the hell out of, died in a fire - and I lived.'
Not a great conversation opener eh?
"There seems to be plenty he doesn't talk about - the shooting for example."
Oh, now I *really* wish I had burst in here without the thoughts of covertness and what not.
"We... he... Rosslyn and the aftermath... it's not a topic we, any of us here discuss in any great detail."
"The aftermath? His recovery you mean?"
Come on Donna... please don't... yeah I know, I'm supposed to be in a relationship with Amy, but I just didn't get around to telling her about the PTSD. Don't tell her about the PTSD Donna... please... don't tell her, don't tell..."
"Yes, his recovery. It took months and he hated relying on people to do things for him."
Thank you Donna...
"I know you like him too."
What is Amy talking about? Of course she likes me... geez she works with me almost 24/7. Well maybe not quite the full twenty-four hours these days, because I have had to spend some time with Amy and well... get an hour sleep here or there.
There's a small pause, and I then hear Donna.
"Can I speak frankly?"
Uh oh... Donna speaking frankly is - actually rare these days. It's been a while now. She used to do it to me all the time. She'd wander into my office and close the door behind her. I knew I might as well put the pen or file, or whatever I was doing aside, because Donna Moss had her 'I'm gonna speak frankly' face on.
I miss it.
"You only like him Amy? When Josh gets involved in something - anything - he gives it one hundred and fifty percent. You're his girlfriend, you have to more than *like* him. I know Josh, and if he wants this to work between the two of you, he's going to be investing everything he can emotionally. God Amy... if you don't love him, don't let him think you do."
You know, it's lucky I'm being stealthy here. If I wasn't, I would have collapsed on the floor by now.
The air seems to have abandoned my lungs.
It's me.
They're talking about *me*.
Okay... don't say it, yeah I know I have an extraordinary ego. But working around Donna who just loves to bring my down a peg or three... I need a big ego to begin with to compensate.
Amy only likes me?
Well that's interesting to know.
Donna thinks that when I really want something, I give it one hundred and fifty percent? Yeah, she knows me well. Why do I suddenly feel like I've been cheating Amy here?
Simple.
She's not even getting one hundred percent, let along one fifty.
There's silence, and I know I have to be on the lookout for signs one of them or both are leaving my office. I quickly glance around, and no one seems to have paid any attention to the fact I'm standing here.
"J and I... it's not... well, it's not forever. Come on, it's not like I could really see myself sitting on the porch in the rocking chair with him in our twilight years."
"Does he know that?"
Hmm, yeah Donna - I do know. Funny, I'm not upset about it. I'm figuring here that I should be, but honestly... I don't think I could see myself in that picture with Amy either.
There's no answer from Amy to Donna's question.
"He needs someone to *love* him, not just *like* him."
That little statement on my well-being was from my killjoy assistant.
"That's what you're for. You don't like him do you? You love him. You *could* see the whole sitting on the front porch watching..."
Whoooa Amy. Sheesh, what is she doing suggesting something like that in the White House? In my office! What if someone was to overhear...
Hmm...
Yeah, like I just did.
Come on Donna, tell her. Tell her that... well that...
"It doesn't matter that I love him - it's you he goes home to."
Oh...
Umm...
Well...
Yeah?
She loves me? Like, okay... ego back into operational mode here... the tone in Donna's voice tells me she's not talking about loving me like... like a sibling or something.
She means the real stuff here.
Wow.
"He doesn't come home to me Donna. And even if he did, it would only be the shell. His head is in this... the politics and as much as it may surprise you, someone in this room that isn't me holds his heart. I'm not stupid Donna, I know it's only a matter of time before he figures it out."
Hmm... I guess the time is now eh? Does this mean Amy is waiting for me to break up with her? It sounds like it, doesn't it.
"If it isn't politics, Josh will never figure it out."
Ha! That's what you think Donnatella Moss!
"Donna, if you want him... look, I don't want to sound like a martyr here, but if you love him..."
"What you think I should just tell him? 'Good morning Joshua, here is your schedule, senior staff is in 5 minutes oh and by the way I'm in love with you?' I could see *that* would go down well. My God, I don't believe I'm having this conversation with his girlfriend."
You know, she's just guaranteed that I'm gonna listen to every word she says when she gives me my schedule in future. I wouldn't want to miss that gem if she decided to slip it in there. And if she can't imagine she's having this conversation with my girlfriend, well just imagine how I feel! That's of course if she knew I knew... which she doesn't and she can't because then I would have to 'fess up to being out here listening in and I don't think that would be a good move.
"But it's the truth."
"Yes but..."
"It's the truth Donna. Actually you know the first thing I asked him when he dropped by was whether you and he were dating. He said you weren't and that's obviously true... but you two have something... J and I... well there was no way it would have worked."
"Amy..."
"Just tell him. Anyway, I should go. As you said before, he must have double booked lunch. I'm gonna get going and..."
Whoooaa... time for me to exit really quickly here.
I back away and move around the partition to Donna's desk.
Okay, deep breath. I didn't just hear Donna tell Amy that she loves me, or Amy tell Donna to just tell me.
"DONNA!!!"
"DONNATELLA??"
"Must you bellow Joshua?" she says as she strides out of my office with Amy close behind her.
"Well we run a country here, you should know to be at your desk when I arrive back from an extremely fruitful slaying on the Hill." I reply leaning my back against the doorway. Casual... I can do this...
"J... fruitful slaying? Isn't that an oxymoron?"
"Or just plan moron?" Donna adds with a grin.
"Hey Amy. What is this? Gang up on the brilliant political operative day?"
"Oh please!" states Donna, pushing me aside so she can get to her desk.
"J... you seem to have double booked lunch. You really should have asked Donna if we could have lunch together before you asked me."
Funny, it doesn't sound wrong when Amy says it.
"Oh... well, I'm not sure when we can catch up again so..."
"Give me a call J," Amy called to me. She was already heading down the hallway.
"Okay," I yelled back. Yeah, sometime... well before I leave office I should.
"Josh... Senator Rees..."
"Yeah Senator Rees..."
"Josh, are you okay? You look a little..."
"I'm fine... everything's good."
I'm *not* fine, everything is *totally* upside down and I don't really know what to do next. My Assistant is in love with me, my girlfriend isn't and I... I think... damn, I know I'm with the wrong woman.
Tell Donna that?
Yeah - soon.
I'm gonna tell her soon.
The end.