Dethklok - Pickled Deth

A Nathan and Pickles FanFic

By: Kotomi

Chapter One:
Shakespear Is The Question

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I grabbed my old Shakespear book off the shelf lazily. Today was boring as hell and I thought I was going to go insaine from the silence. Toki and Skwisgaar wree on a trip to the "Guitarist Convention" where they got to meet other guitarists that were slower and inferior to them. Murderface was also gone. He thoguht it was a good idea to go to Las Vegas to find an erotic bass guitar that he was looking for. I opened the book to my favorite page and read aloud my favorite line:

"To be or not to be, that is the question."

I let out a gruffy laugh and recited the line over and over again. That line was so short, yet had a power ful, funny ring to it. It may not sound "brutal" enough to you, but it definatly does to me. The more and mroe I recited that line, the louder my cackles got. I didn't notice Pickles coming through the door with a vodka bottle clenched in his hand.

"Would you shut the Hell up? God, you dochebag! I'm trying to watch my show!" Shouted Pickles while shaking the bottle vigorously.

"Are you watching something?" I questioned, trying to keep myself from laughing histerically.

"No..." Muttered Pickles . "I am trying to watch something Nathan. Would you be so kind-"

"TO BE OR NOT TO BE, THAT IS THE QUESTION!" I bellowed in the most brutal voice I could muster.

My seriousness faded away quickly as I started to laugh at my own joke. I swear that line is the most brutal, metal line written in history!

"Ha-ha. Very funny dochebag. Just please keep it down." Said Pickles as he quickly shut the door.

Sheesh! What's his problem? He comes in here all snoody like a pathetic jack-off and tells me to please keep it-

"Oh my God he said the Bad Word!" I screamed without thinking.

Something WAS definatly wrong with him. He said the Forbidden Word. Please. Maybe he had a little too much to drink or something and was unaware of his unacceptable behavior. He didn't look like he was drunk, even though he had a beer bottle in his hand. He looked...sober. OK. Something is REALLY wrong with him.

I went back to reciting my favorite line, but more quietly for Pickles sake. My laughs died down to a minimum as the line lost its funny appeal. Damn. I guess I have no choice but to go check up on Pickles. I close my book reluctantly and tossed it onto the sofa as I started towards his room. I remembered to knock this time. Unfortunatly, last time I did not. I caught him naked laying on his bed. He was jacking-off to a porno video loaned from Murderface. It was embarassing seeing him like that, but...it didn't really bother me in general. Hell, all of us men do it!...right?

"W-what do you want?" Don't come in!" Said a faint voice.

I heard shuffling from inside his room and mumbling as well. He quickly opened the door looking as sober like I've never seen him before. He had a look of guilt, but mixed with some type of pleasure as well. Must be the drugs...

"What? What do you want dochebag? I'm busy..."

"Uh..." I blanked out.

"Ok, let me know when you brain starts to work again block-head." Said Pickles flatly as he began to shut his door.

"No!No!" I said as I held open the door. "Can you give me another drumming lesson?"

I tried to look sincere about it, so he would take up on my offer.

Pickles opened his mouth slightly. "Uh...I guess...Only a quick one ok?"

He grabbed a pair of old, beaten drumsticks and closed his door.

"We're practicing in your room."

"Why can't we practice in your-"

"Because I don't want you in my room dochebag."

I didn't ask anymore questions. I could tell that he was getting annoyed with me. Usually he doesn't get easily annoyed with me because he knows that I'm a little slow at times. He's only cranky after being aroused or something. I don't want to find out though.

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Dedication:

To Hailey

May Metalocalypse Slash Parings Never Die

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This is the first chapter of this lovely parring. I want to at least get 5 reviews since this isn't a popular show/band to write about. Let me know what you think!