Dreamy Eyes
By Tahiri Solo
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Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, places and such mentioned in this story. They are property of Lucasfilm. I own nothing and am in no way making any money off of this story. The song belongs to Christina Aguilera. Not to me. Also, if this story bears any resemblance to stories written by others, that is purely coincidental. No infringement is intended.
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A/N: I've never actually heard this song. I just happened to run across the lyrics online, and I was like, hey, this is a Jaina/Zekk song! LOL! I hope you all like it! J 'n' Z 4EVA!!
*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*
In her dreams, he was there. In her dreams, she felt his strong arms wrapped around her, felt the tickle of his breath on her ear as he whispered tenderly to her, smelled his comforting scent as she pressed her nose into the fabric of his shirt while clinging fiercely to his wiry body . . . . She finally felt his lips caressing hers . . . . Heard him say all the things she had yearned to hear for so long now . . .
In her dreams, all her wistful fantasies were fulfilled.
But when she woke, that was a different matter entirely.
*I'm reaching out to touch you
In the middle of the night*
Jaina Solo's brandy brown eyes fluttered open, and she blinked sleepily at her surroundings in confusion, until she realized that she was in her student's quarters in the Jedi academy on Yavin 4 . . . and that what she held so tightly in her arms was her pillow and not Zekk.
She groaned and thrust the pillow away from her, not caring when it fell off her bed and onto the stone floor. Jaina drew a hand across her eyes, movements rough with frustration, to catch her tears before they made their way down her cheeks.
Why did she always have to have these dreams?
*And I don't know if I've been sleeping
But I hold my pillow tight
Are you real or are you
My imagination playing games*
As she curled into a ball and struggled not to cry, Jaina felt cold. Not just outside, but inside. She longed for Zekk's comforting warmth, knowing that he was the only thing that could chase away the chill in her heart.
She hated having these dreams. She felt the pain of Zekk's leaving constantly; the ache never left her. But normally, she could keep it under control . . . except for when she had these dreams.
Jaina marveled distractedly at how just one person could affect her so much.
But then again, she thought, it wasn't just any person.
It was Zekk.
And she loved him.
She always had.
*I can't set you free
You'll always be
My one eternal flame*
Sighing deeply, Jaina attempted to drive all thoughts of the dream from her mind. She succeeded, save for one image burned indelibly into her brain:
Zekk's gorgeous emerald eyes, surrounded by a dark corona.
No matter what she did, how hard she tried, she could not erase the picture of the eyes she had loved since she first saw them, years before. They had always held the power to entrance her, and it took intense effort on her part not to get lost in their beauty every time she looked in them.
She longed to see them again, sparkling down at her with that gentle look Zekk always had when he saw her. It made her feel warm inside, gave her some slight hope that he might actually feel the same way for her.
*Your dreamy eyes
They just won't say goodbye
Well it must be my fate
Cause I just can't escape
And the passion never dies*
Jaina sniffled, but she refused to cry. She had cried enough over Zekk - and if there was one thing Jaina Solo never did, it was cry. Once again, she marveled at the affect Zekk had on her. Her feelings for him made her feel weak and vulnerable in a way that she had never experienced before. Every time he left, every time she was forced to watch him leave her yet again, it tore another piece from her heart. If she discovered that he did not feel the same way for her as she did for him, she knew that her heart might simply shatter into a million irreparable pieces.
That thought scared her like nothing else.
And what was, if anything, worse, he was off bounty hunting. She had absolutely no idea where he was, she couldn't see him, talk to him, hear his wonderful voice . . . And the absolute worst part of it was, he could be killed and she wouldn't even know it or have a chance to tell the one person she loved goodbye.
As much as she fought against it, that thought finally broke Jaina down into tears.
*Ohh, dreamy eyes
No matter how I cry
I just can't reach you
Dreamy eyes*
After several minutes of lying curled up in a ball on her bed and crying miserably, hating herself for her tears, Jaina finally managed to stop crying. Her body, stiff before, relaxed, and she wiped her tears with her sheet, not particularly caring if it got wet.
She loved him so much, with a depth and intensity that almost frightened her. She saw so much when she looked into his eyes, which she still could not get out of her mind. Sometimes, she thought she could even see visions of the future they could have together . . . and those moved Jaina nearly to tears. She yearned for them to actually come true.
*You're a vision of tomorrow . . .*
Jaina could also see memories of the times they had spent together reflected in the emeralds of his eyes. Ever since they had first met, years before, he had been her best friend, the person she could always turn to with her problems. No matter how silly they might be, she knew he would never ridicule her. The fact that he had been a street urchin many people had regarded as a hoodlum had never made any difference to her. She saw the person he truly was inside, not what everyone else saw. He was still her best friend, always would be her best friend. She would trust him with her life . . . despite everything.
Who would have thought? Jaina mused. That I'd end up falling in love with my best friend? But I'm not sure if I'm lucky or cursed.
*And a ghost from yesterday*
If only Zekk knew what happened to her every time he touched her, or even smiled or looked at her. Her body reacted to him in the worst - or was it best? - way. Her heart would race, and it was a struggle simply to keep her mind straight and not say or do something completely idiotic. He even made her dizzy.
But despite the way she reacted to him, and the pain of her hidden feelings, Jaina still felt completely comfortable with Zekk. There were rarely any awkward moments between the two. The normalcy of their relationship sometimes stunned Jaina, but she assumed that it was a result of having been so close for so long. In a way, she found it comforting - no matter what happened, or how they both changed, they would always have each other.
She just hoped she didn't scare him away from her by doing something stupid, such as falling apart at his feet.
*And I'll be trying not to let you
Take my breath away*
As she lay there on her bed, Jaina thought back to the times they had run into each other after he had started bounty hunting, especially their last encounter at Mechis III. He'd looked so cute with that shocked look on his face when he first saw them. Jaina smiled slightly to herself. There was no denying that the young man was incredibly handsome, with his long, almost-black hair, high cheekbones, and those piercing emerald eyes . . . but Jaina firmly thrust all such thoughts from her mind, not wanting to make herself any more upset than she already was.
Instead, she remembered the last time she had seen him, on a rooftop on Mechis III. She'd been desperately searching for the right words, afraid, as always, that this might be the last time she ever saw him and wanting to let him know how she felt . . . But she failed to force the words past her lips. Jaina could have kicked herself, but all self-reproach vanished as Zekk stunned her by suddenly pulling her into his arms and nearly crushing her to him in a fierce embrace. He'd held her so close she could feel his heart beating, and Jaina could have simply clung to him like that for uncounted minutes. But finally, he had - reluctantly, Jaina wondered? - pulled away and went into his ship, leaving her yet again, to stare after his ship, fighting tears. His words still rang in her ears: "I'll see you soon, I promise."
"How soon is soon, Zekk?" Jaina murmured to no one in particular. "Am I ever going to see you again?" If she closed her eyes and imagined hard enough, she could almost hear Zekk's voice answering her, as if he were standing in her room instead of off Force-knows-where.
Even the imaginary echoes of his voice made her smile, for she could just envision him standing there and saying with a grin, "Have I ever broken I promise to you? I told you I'd be back, and I will be."
It was true, she realized. He never had broken a promise to her - and she had a feeling he never would. Smiling, Jaina reached down to pluck her pillow off the floor and hugged it to her again.
She would see him again. Waiting might tear her heart in two, but she would see him again, eventually. And even if she had to wait a thousand lifetimes, she would never forget him - and she just hoped that he would never forget her.
*You're a summer breeze that comes and goes
But somehow lingers on
Tell me how can I forget you
If you're never really gone*
Jaina closed her eyes again, allowing the images of Zekk's emerald eyes to dance across her mind's eye. She envisioned hearing his gentle voice tell her all the things she had always wanted to hear from him, ran her fingers over her lips and imagined what it would feel like if he kissed her . . . relived every moment of her dreams in her memory.
Why did she torture herself like this? Jaina wondered. Why did she keep thinking of these things, things that could reduce her to tears? Why didn't she just stop all this and forget about the dreams and the person they starred?
It was simple. She couldn't. She wasn't capable of forgetting about Zekk, and seriously doubted if she ever would be.
I almost hate myself for being like this, Jaina thought. But I'm in love. Does being in love make you weak?
She didn't know. But something told her that it didn't.
*Your dreamy eyes
They just won't say goodbye
Well it must be my fate
Cause I just can't escape
And the passion never dies*
Jaina bit down hard on her lip to keep the tears she suddenly felt welling up in her eyes from escaping. But despite her best efforts they came anyway, sliding down her cheeks in a hot flood. She made no move to wipe them away, did not even bother to try to stop them, surrendering to her tears.
"Look what you've done to me, Zekk," she whispered through her tears. "Look what happens when you leave me. Why do you always have to do this? Why can't you just stay?"
She muffled her crying with her pillow, determined not to let anyone hear her and come in to see what was wrong. She did not want to be seen like this, to have to explain the cause of her pain.
Her feelings for Zekk were something she wanted to keep to herself.
*Ohh, dreamy eyes
No matter how I cry
I just can't reach you
Dreamy eyes*
Finally, with a sheer act of will, she forced her tears back and wiped her face on her sleeve. She blinked repeatedly to dispel the wetness still lingering on her eyelashes. When she finally decided she didn't look like she had been crying, Jaina lay back on her bed, feeling too exhausted to even sit up.
"I never realized being in love could take this much out of you," she murmured to herself, trying for some wry humor. She let out a tiny giggle, but then she was once again assaulted with thoughts of Zekk. She wondered if there was anything that she could do to make him feel the same way about her.
Was she pretty? She had never really thought about it. Could that be why he didn't like her?
No, she finally decided. I don't know if I'm pretty or not, but I do know Zekk, and I know he's not that shallow. If he liked me, he wouldn't care what I looked like. It has to be something else.
Was she too young for him? Their age difference had never really made any difference to Jaina, but she realized that it might make a big difference to Zekk, considering the fact that she was three years younger than he was. He probably saw her as more of a little sister than anything.
Jaina groaned. "Wonderful. The man I'm in love with thinks of me as his little sister. Life could not be any more perfect."
As upsetting as this new realization was, something in Jaina still absolutely refused to give up hope. Perhaps it was the stubborn Solo blood running through her veins. She wasn't sure, but whatever it was, it told her that there was always a chance.
And as long as there was the slightest chance, she would never give up.
*What do I have to do
To get that close to you
And your . . .
Your dreamy eyes
They just won't say goodbye
Well it must be my fate
Cause I just can't escape
And the passion never dies*
Jaina finally decided that she had had enough of this for one night. She was going to forget about Zekk - at least for the time being - and get some sleep. If she let this happen to her every time she had one of those dreams, she would be walking around with huge dark circles under her eyes, which would definitely attract unwanted attention to herself. They came too often and too close for comfort. With a small sigh, she lay back down and closed her eyes.
But the moment she did, her mind was once again flooded with images of Zekk. Unwillingly and without her control, tears began sliding down her cheeks once more.
"Augh!" Jaina growled. "Not again!" She frantically tried to wipe them away, but no matter what she did, they refused to stop coming. Finally, she just gave up and let them come, racking sobs shaking her body.
She wept until she finally cried herself to sleep. The last thing she saw before she drifted into unconsciousness could only have been an illusion . . . but it filled her with a sense of peace nonetheless.
Through her tears, she saw a young man with long dark hair and bright green eyes standing by her bed. He bent and smoothed a strand of hair away from her forehead, and the moment his lips brushed ever so gently against hers, she drifted softly into blackness.
*Ohh, I try so hard to release you
But no matter how I cry
I just keep seeing through
Dreamy eyes*
As Jaina tossed and turned in her bed, yet again plagued by dreams, she was completely unaware of the fact that somewhere far, far away, a young man lay tossing and turning in his own bed, dreaming of her.
*Ohh ohh, ohh ohh yeah
Dreamy eyes*
By Tahiri Solo
*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, places and such mentioned in this story. They are property of Lucasfilm. I own nothing and am in no way making any money off of this story. The song belongs to Christina Aguilera. Not to me. Also, if this story bears any resemblance to stories written by others, that is purely coincidental. No infringement is intended.
*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*
A/N: I've never actually heard this song. I just happened to run across the lyrics online, and I was like, hey, this is a Jaina/Zekk song! LOL! I hope you all like it! J 'n' Z 4EVA!!
*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*
In her dreams, he was there. In her dreams, she felt his strong arms wrapped around her, felt the tickle of his breath on her ear as he whispered tenderly to her, smelled his comforting scent as she pressed her nose into the fabric of his shirt while clinging fiercely to his wiry body . . . . She finally felt his lips caressing hers . . . . Heard him say all the things she had yearned to hear for so long now . . .
In her dreams, all her wistful fantasies were fulfilled.
But when she woke, that was a different matter entirely.
*I'm reaching out to touch you
In the middle of the night*
Jaina Solo's brandy brown eyes fluttered open, and she blinked sleepily at her surroundings in confusion, until she realized that she was in her student's quarters in the Jedi academy on Yavin 4 . . . and that what she held so tightly in her arms was her pillow and not Zekk.
She groaned and thrust the pillow away from her, not caring when it fell off her bed and onto the stone floor. Jaina drew a hand across her eyes, movements rough with frustration, to catch her tears before they made their way down her cheeks.
Why did she always have to have these dreams?
*And I don't know if I've been sleeping
But I hold my pillow tight
Are you real or are you
My imagination playing games*
As she curled into a ball and struggled not to cry, Jaina felt cold. Not just outside, but inside. She longed for Zekk's comforting warmth, knowing that he was the only thing that could chase away the chill in her heart.
She hated having these dreams. She felt the pain of Zekk's leaving constantly; the ache never left her. But normally, she could keep it under control . . . except for when she had these dreams.
Jaina marveled distractedly at how just one person could affect her so much.
But then again, she thought, it wasn't just any person.
It was Zekk.
And she loved him.
She always had.
*I can't set you free
You'll always be
My one eternal flame*
Sighing deeply, Jaina attempted to drive all thoughts of the dream from her mind. She succeeded, save for one image burned indelibly into her brain:
Zekk's gorgeous emerald eyes, surrounded by a dark corona.
No matter what she did, how hard she tried, she could not erase the picture of the eyes she had loved since she first saw them, years before. They had always held the power to entrance her, and it took intense effort on her part not to get lost in their beauty every time she looked in them.
She longed to see them again, sparkling down at her with that gentle look Zekk always had when he saw her. It made her feel warm inside, gave her some slight hope that he might actually feel the same way for her.
*Your dreamy eyes
They just won't say goodbye
Well it must be my fate
Cause I just can't escape
And the passion never dies*
Jaina sniffled, but she refused to cry. She had cried enough over Zekk - and if there was one thing Jaina Solo never did, it was cry. Once again, she marveled at the affect Zekk had on her. Her feelings for him made her feel weak and vulnerable in a way that she had never experienced before. Every time he left, every time she was forced to watch him leave her yet again, it tore another piece from her heart. If she discovered that he did not feel the same way for her as she did for him, she knew that her heart might simply shatter into a million irreparable pieces.
That thought scared her like nothing else.
And what was, if anything, worse, he was off bounty hunting. She had absolutely no idea where he was, she couldn't see him, talk to him, hear his wonderful voice . . . And the absolute worst part of it was, he could be killed and she wouldn't even know it or have a chance to tell the one person she loved goodbye.
As much as she fought against it, that thought finally broke Jaina down into tears.
*Ohh, dreamy eyes
No matter how I cry
I just can't reach you
Dreamy eyes*
After several minutes of lying curled up in a ball on her bed and crying miserably, hating herself for her tears, Jaina finally managed to stop crying. Her body, stiff before, relaxed, and she wiped her tears with her sheet, not particularly caring if it got wet.
She loved him so much, with a depth and intensity that almost frightened her. She saw so much when she looked into his eyes, which she still could not get out of her mind. Sometimes, she thought she could even see visions of the future they could have together . . . and those moved Jaina nearly to tears. She yearned for them to actually come true.
*You're a vision of tomorrow . . .*
Jaina could also see memories of the times they had spent together reflected in the emeralds of his eyes. Ever since they had first met, years before, he had been her best friend, the person she could always turn to with her problems. No matter how silly they might be, she knew he would never ridicule her. The fact that he had been a street urchin many people had regarded as a hoodlum had never made any difference to her. She saw the person he truly was inside, not what everyone else saw. He was still her best friend, always would be her best friend. She would trust him with her life . . . despite everything.
Who would have thought? Jaina mused. That I'd end up falling in love with my best friend? But I'm not sure if I'm lucky or cursed.
*And a ghost from yesterday*
If only Zekk knew what happened to her every time he touched her, or even smiled or looked at her. Her body reacted to him in the worst - or was it best? - way. Her heart would race, and it was a struggle simply to keep her mind straight and not say or do something completely idiotic. He even made her dizzy.
But despite the way she reacted to him, and the pain of her hidden feelings, Jaina still felt completely comfortable with Zekk. There were rarely any awkward moments between the two. The normalcy of their relationship sometimes stunned Jaina, but she assumed that it was a result of having been so close for so long. In a way, she found it comforting - no matter what happened, or how they both changed, they would always have each other.
She just hoped she didn't scare him away from her by doing something stupid, such as falling apart at his feet.
*And I'll be trying not to let you
Take my breath away*
As she lay there on her bed, Jaina thought back to the times they had run into each other after he had started bounty hunting, especially their last encounter at Mechis III. He'd looked so cute with that shocked look on his face when he first saw them. Jaina smiled slightly to herself. There was no denying that the young man was incredibly handsome, with his long, almost-black hair, high cheekbones, and those piercing emerald eyes . . . but Jaina firmly thrust all such thoughts from her mind, not wanting to make herself any more upset than she already was.
Instead, she remembered the last time she had seen him, on a rooftop on Mechis III. She'd been desperately searching for the right words, afraid, as always, that this might be the last time she ever saw him and wanting to let him know how she felt . . . But she failed to force the words past her lips. Jaina could have kicked herself, but all self-reproach vanished as Zekk stunned her by suddenly pulling her into his arms and nearly crushing her to him in a fierce embrace. He'd held her so close she could feel his heart beating, and Jaina could have simply clung to him like that for uncounted minutes. But finally, he had - reluctantly, Jaina wondered? - pulled away and went into his ship, leaving her yet again, to stare after his ship, fighting tears. His words still rang in her ears: "I'll see you soon, I promise."
"How soon is soon, Zekk?" Jaina murmured to no one in particular. "Am I ever going to see you again?" If she closed her eyes and imagined hard enough, she could almost hear Zekk's voice answering her, as if he were standing in her room instead of off Force-knows-where.
Even the imaginary echoes of his voice made her smile, for she could just envision him standing there and saying with a grin, "Have I ever broken I promise to you? I told you I'd be back, and I will be."
It was true, she realized. He never had broken a promise to her - and she had a feeling he never would. Smiling, Jaina reached down to pluck her pillow off the floor and hugged it to her again.
She would see him again. Waiting might tear her heart in two, but she would see him again, eventually. And even if she had to wait a thousand lifetimes, she would never forget him - and she just hoped that he would never forget her.
*You're a summer breeze that comes and goes
But somehow lingers on
Tell me how can I forget you
If you're never really gone*
Jaina closed her eyes again, allowing the images of Zekk's emerald eyes to dance across her mind's eye. She envisioned hearing his gentle voice tell her all the things she had always wanted to hear from him, ran her fingers over her lips and imagined what it would feel like if he kissed her . . . relived every moment of her dreams in her memory.
Why did she torture herself like this? Jaina wondered. Why did she keep thinking of these things, things that could reduce her to tears? Why didn't she just stop all this and forget about the dreams and the person they starred?
It was simple. She couldn't. She wasn't capable of forgetting about Zekk, and seriously doubted if she ever would be.
I almost hate myself for being like this, Jaina thought. But I'm in love. Does being in love make you weak?
She didn't know. But something told her that it didn't.
*Your dreamy eyes
They just won't say goodbye
Well it must be my fate
Cause I just can't escape
And the passion never dies*
Jaina bit down hard on her lip to keep the tears she suddenly felt welling up in her eyes from escaping. But despite her best efforts they came anyway, sliding down her cheeks in a hot flood. She made no move to wipe them away, did not even bother to try to stop them, surrendering to her tears.
"Look what you've done to me, Zekk," she whispered through her tears. "Look what happens when you leave me. Why do you always have to do this? Why can't you just stay?"
She muffled her crying with her pillow, determined not to let anyone hear her and come in to see what was wrong. She did not want to be seen like this, to have to explain the cause of her pain.
Her feelings for Zekk were something she wanted to keep to herself.
*Ohh, dreamy eyes
No matter how I cry
I just can't reach you
Dreamy eyes*
Finally, with a sheer act of will, she forced her tears back and wiped her face on her sleeve. She blinked repeatedly to dispel the wetness still lingering on her eyelashes. When she finally decided she didn't look like she had been crying, Jaina lay back on her bed, feeling too exhausted to even sit up.
"I never realized being in love could take this much out of you," she murmured to herself, trying for some wry humor. She let out a tiny giggle, but then she was once again assaulted with thoughts of Zekk. She wondered if there was anything that she could do to make him feel the same way about her.
Was she pretty? She had never really thought about it. Could that be why he didn't like her?
No, she finally decided. I don't know if I'm pretty or not, but I do know Zekk, and I know he's not that shallow. If he liked me, he wouldn't care what I looked like. It has to be something else.
Was she too young for him? Their age difference had never really made any difference to Jaina, but she realized that it might make a big difference to Zekk, considering the fact that she was three years younger than he was. He probably saw her as more of a little sister than anything.
Jaina groaned. "Wonderful. The man I'm in love with thinks of me as his little sister. Life could not be any more perfect."
As upsetting as this new realization was, something in Jaina still absolutely refused to give up hope. Perhaps it was the stubborn Solo blood running through her veins. She wasn't sure, but whatever it was, it told her that there was always a chance.
And as long as there was the slightest chance, she would never give up.
*What do I have to do
To get that close to you
And your . . .
Your dreamy eyes
They just won't say goodbye
Well it must be my fate
Cause I just can't escape
And the passion never dies*
Jaina finally decided that she had had enough of this for one night. She was going to forget about Zekk - at least for the time being - and get some sleep. If she let this happen to her every time she had one of those dreams, she would be walking around with huge dark circles under her eyes, which would definitely attract unwanted attention to herself. They came too often and too close for comfort. With a small sigh, she lay back down and closed her eyes.
But the moment she did, her mind was once again flooded with images of Zekk. Unwillingly and without her control, tears began sliding down her cheeks once more.
"Augh!" Jaina growled. "Not again!" She frantically tried to wipe them away, but no matter what she did, they refused to stop coming. Finally, she just gave up and let them come, racking sobs shaking her body.
She wept until she finally cried herself to sleep. The last thing she saw before she drifted into unconsciousness could only have been an illusion . . . but it filled her with a sense of peace nonetheless.
Through her tears, she saw a young man with long dark hair and bright green eyes standing by her bed. He bent and smoothed a strand of hair away from her forehead, and the moment his lips brushed ever so gently against hers, she drifted softly into blackness.
*Ohh, I try so hard to release you
But no matter how I cry
I just keep seeing through
Dreamy eyes*
As Jaina tossed and turned in her bed, yet again plagued by dreams, she was completely unaware of the fact that somewhere far, far away, a young man lay tossing and turning in his own bed, dreaming of her.
*Ohh ohh, ohh ohh yeah
Dreamy eyes*