Big, sharp knives should never be left within reach of children. Even if under supervision. But, in Kushina's defense, turning her attention to the couch that had mysteriously caught on fire (and it should be noted that matches should also never be left within reach of children, even if that included hunting beneath the cushions to make sure that the babysitter who knew better than to smoke inside the house didn't smoke inside the house) was far more important than the knife she had left unguarded on the kitchen counter.
It wasn't like she had realized that her son was resourceful, and that the gleam of the blade had been too much a temptation for him. With his little friend, they managed to slide a chair up to the counter and grab the cutlery as, all the while, Kushina practically screamed the fire into submission out of sheer fury that it dare nearly harm her child and his playmate.
Lee's already huge eyes widened even further as an idea struck him, watching Naruto carelessly turn the blade one way and then the other, pretending it was a sword.
"Naruto, Naruto, let's make an oath, a blood oath that we'll always be best friends and we'll never let anything come between us!" It was possible he had seen too many movies, the kind where there was a daring battalion of friends who fought back-to-back and could only be separated by death, if even then. But that was the fault of his adopted father. "We'll use that to make the cuts."
"Won't that hurt?" Naruto's expression scrunched up. "I don't wanna stab myself!"
"We won't stab ourselves. We'll just prick our fingers or something!" He grabbed the knife and slid the edge over his palm. Surprisingly, it did hurt, but he tried to hide it as a trail of blood welled. "S-see? We're n-n-not stab-b-bing o-ourselves…"
"Bushybrow, you're crying!"
"I-it doesn't h-hurt! It'll f-feel better in a m-moment! I'm y-young, i-it'll heal!" He sniffled. "O-owie…"
"Don't worry, Bushybrow! I'll do your oath-thing and then we'll be everything you just said!" He took the knife back and – "GGGAAAAAAAAH!"
"I-I told you! D-don't stab yourself!"
.
.
.
Naruto and Lee discovered for the first time that there was a Right One. There were a lot of Ones, Kushina explained to them as she petted her husband's blonde hair out of his face, him sleeping like a baby, but only one Right One. "And people will always tell you that you'll know the moment you see the Right One, but it's really a lie. I spent years hating his guts and then…" Her eyes glazed over and she stared off into the distance.
"Then what, momma?" Naruto whispered, stars dancing in his baby blues. Lee was just as captivated. "Then you fell in love with daddy?"
"Oh, yes. I fell long and hard. Up until the day you were born, he was my everything. Back when we first started dating, when I wasn't making fun of him for being such a fluff," she tugged his ear and he unconsciously grumbled, "I learned that, as corny as it sounds, we were meant for each other. He keeps me calm, I keep him smart, he cleans, I cooks, we argue, I win, we make up! I know he'll be mine from now till forever."
"A Right One sounds a lot like a special person," Lee thought out loud. "Papa told me that my special person would complete me."
"A Right One and a special person is pretty much the same thing…" she agreed. "But it sounds cooler to say Right One, like saying, Lee, you are the Chosen One! More dramatic, yeah?" Kushina waggled her brows and Lee flushed.
"I wanna a Right One!" Naruto fell forward and Minato groaned as his son's head impacted with his unguarded belly.
"I want one too!" Lee nibbled on his fist. "My Right One has to be strong so we can spar together like papa's teaching me and my Right One has to love Naruto like a brother."
"My Right One has to be pretty like you, momma! And that thing Bushybrow said!" The two rascals grinned at each other, so many innocent things dancing in their guileless eyes.
Kushina sighed exasperatedly and smiled. "You two will find your Right Ones, I believe it." Then, in a soft, affectionate breath, "my little weirdo duo."
"Hey!"
.
.
.
Naruto and Lee were thirteen years old when they thought they found their Right Ones. They found heartbreak instead.
The blonde was on a hospital bed due to his own heartbreak and a search party was trying to track down Lee's. Love really hurt and, somehow, they had seen it coming for each other. Just not for themselves.
Naruto made a shallow cut along the seven-year old scar on his palm (that went through to the back of his hand but that painful experience was one neither of them wanted to relive for the horrors they had faced afterwards) and then handed the surgical blade over to Lee, who did the same. They smashed their palms together and the blood smeared.
"We'll never fall in love again unless we both agree that they're the Right One," Naruto said solemnly.
"Agreed!"
"And I'm swearing off guys!"
"Agr – w-wait, what?"
"Guys are assholes!"
"But, Naruto… you are a guy. I'm a guy too."
"Yeah? Well… We'll have a sex, a sex, uh… what're those things called?"
"… A sex… change?"
"Yeah! We'll be girls!"
"But I don't want to be a girl. Besides, girls like guys. So even if we weren't guys anymore, wouldn't we like guys?"
"I'm a guy and I liked a guy! Why can't I be a girl and like a girl?"
"No reason…" Lee coughed into his uninjured hand. "Yosh! By the Power of Youth, I declare this oath UNBREAKABLE!"
"Hell yeah! Now I'm gonna go be a girl! And you're coming with me."
Lee stared sulkily at his feet as Naruto dragged him out of his hospital room and hobbled around, looking a sex change. They were, after all, already in a hospital.
Minato caught up with them midway down the corridor. "Whoa, boys, where do you think you're going? And, hey, why are your hands bleeding?"
"Shut up, guy!" Naruto jabbed a finger in his stunned father's direction. "You're an asshole!"
In hindsight, Naruto wished he could have taken it back. It was pretty hard, even for a thirteen-year old, to watch a full grown man cry. And then Kushina smelled the scent of salty tears on the wind, somehow, possibly a superpower she had as a mother, and that was when the true regret settled in.
Lee and Naruto, after what felt like hours of screaming, were put back in the hospital bed together, belly down, with their bums on fire.
.
.
.
Tenten was a very sweet girl and Lee liked her. Not as much as he had liked Sakura, but his heart was definitely in the relationship!
And then Naruto had to point out the painfully honest truth: Tenten was in love with their other classmate, Neji. Tenten would never look at Lee like he looked at her. She just wasn't the Right One.
"Geez, Bushybrow," Naruto grumbled, "are you like secretly a home wrecker? You keep going for the chicks that want to be with other dudes! Here, lemme help you with your next crush."
He played with the end of his braid. He had decided to grow out his hair for Locks of Love. "Naruto, I do not think it's possible for you to help me with my next crush…"
"'Course I can! Don't tell Naruto Uzumaki what he can and can't do!"
Lee sighed and tucked his knees to his chest. "I know."
"Hey, that's not the Bushybrow spirit." Naruto scowled. "Gimme some Bushybrow spirit!"
"Naruto, please, I have just had my hear-"
"You don't get depressed, remember? What would Bushierbrow think? C'mon, gimme some spirit! You're Lee Rock, you're all brawns and soul, whattaya gonna do? Get over it! Ready? Gimme some of your old spirit."
"You know what?" Lee stormed to his feet. "You're right! I am Lee Rock, adopted son of Gai Maito! I do not get depressed, I get happy and passionate and I will not give up on finding my Right One! YOSH! You have inspired me with so few words, Naruto! Thank you!"
The blonde snickered. "I thought it'd work. You're not hard to rile up."
"I will continue my search! And so shall you!"
"Er… Yeah. Sure." Naruto's gaze sidled away and Lee winced as he realized his mistake. "I will too."
They both knew he wouldn't.
.
It took two months before Lee honestly got over Tenten. Then he made the active choice to help her get what she wanted, even if it wasn't him. That active choice included slapping Neji across the face (what Hyuuga needed a greater challenge? They were widely known for their monstrous pride), disappearing with Neji, and then returning many bruises darker with the lilac-eyed man.
It worked though. Neji asked Tenten out and… Tenten accepted. That same night, Lee and Naruto celebrated Lee's matchmaking success with alcohol and, as seventeen year olds, learned that neither of them had any tolerance whatsoever. But the truly remarkable thing was learning that Lee became the green Hulk when drunk.
Fixing a wall was one thing, Patching up the Lee-shaped hole in the wall and doing community service for terrifying their next door neighbor's kid by bursting into her room unannounced (through said Lee-shaped hole in the wall, much like the Kool-aid man, actually) was another thing.
"But are you sure that was me and not you? I think I would have felt as if I had run through a wall when I woke up," Lee said as they picked up litter along the highway.
"Don't forget that girl threw her cat at you," Naruto reminded grouchily. He could think of better places to be than where he was. But they were buds for life and, even if Naruto had been guilty by association (he wasn't sure how that worked when drunk, but it had), they suffered together so that they could be happier together.
"Well, I do recall some scratches when I came to but I always assumed that I became delusional or something or another."
"Nope. Pussy got you in the face."
"N-Naruto!"
"What? I was talking about the cat." He snickered at Lee flushed like a beacon at sea. "Aw, man, mom and dad are gonna kill us when they get back from Italy." Naruto wasn't sure if it was a good thing that they had been away this entire time.
"Poppa will be displeased with us once he returns from the Shanghai International Karate Tournament," Lee added mournfully.
Naruto frowned into the distance. Another mile to go. "He's gonna whip our asses with the shiny belt he'll get, huh?"
"It is very likely." They looked at each other at the same moment. Then they laughed. "Well, it was nice knowing you, Naruto. Hopefully we'll be good friends again in the next life." He reached out a hand and Naruto shook it firmly.
"Same here, Bushybrow. Hey, if my parents kill us first, I just want you to know that I never really cared that you wear spandex."
"If poppa kills us first, I would like for you to know that I have always wondered what I would look like in one of your jumpsuits."
"… Wanna switch and see how it feels?"
.
Neji showed his gratitude to Lee by inviting him and his adopted dad over to dinner with Tenten, his uncle, and his one cousin. Hiashi was a very respectable man and, though he frowned for a moment upon his and Gai's less than perfect attire, welcomed them openly enough. Tenten was already present, wearing a very beautiful, very flashy sleeveless dress with a slit skirt and Mandarin collar. Lee was happy that he felt nothing when he looked at her because Neji was there in the next moment, fawning over her in a controlled, icy way that would have made Lee want to kill the man had he not had figured out that this was how the Hyuuga were expected to act. Cool. Collected. Untouchable.
Lee was all fire and passion and the Springtime of Youth, so he didn't really see the appeal behind their lifestyle. He didn't challenge it, though. Instead, he occupied his time with Neji's cousin.
Hinata could literally have descended from Heaven and he would not have been surprised. She was beautiful and kind and loyal and all he had to do was look into her lilac eyes and watch her flash her soft, honest smiles to know that.
He felt a camaraderie spirit in her.
"You're Lee Rock?" she whispered. Lee nodded, a little confused when her face lit up with respect and hope. "I saw the news covering on you, three months ago? You donate your time to the orphanage and teach the children self-defense."
"W-well…" he wasn't used to being singled out for it. Honestly, that had been a spontaneous interview that he still wouldn't have believed had happened had it not been for the news clipping his adopted father had literally stitched into the refrigerator door.
"A-and…" she blushed. "You're best f-friends with… Naruto?"
"Oh, yes! We've been friends for as long as I can remember, the weirdo duo his parents called us! We were always getting into trouble and, and…" His voice always rose above a whisper whenever he started talking about his best friend. He took great pride in Naruto and Naruto tended to act the same way about him, though he was usually loud to begin with.
Everyone at the table stared at him. The need to run out the door was overwhelming.
Then Tenten laughed. "You two still are the weirdo duo!"
Gai loped an arm around Hiashi's shoulders. "The stories I could tell you about these two devils! Wasn't two years ago that they climbed to the top of Hokage Mountain and came back down with a mountain lion! HAH HAH HAH, we beat their bums blue and made them carry her all the way back up! You know what? The mountain lion came back! Doesn't matter who or what you are, once you meet the weirdo duo, you fall in love!"
Lee stared darkly at his fork. If only.
"And can you believe what they did this year? We give them an apartment and they get dr-"
"We're having fabulous weather lately, aren't we?" Lee pointed out kindly to the gawking table as he force-fed his adopted dad a daring red substance. "With just the right amount of rain so that the ground can grow fertile and green! Oh, gosh, poppa, you're turning purple! QUICK, milk!" He threw the tiny container into the air and Tenten scrabbled to catch it.
Hinata, Hiashi, and Neji leaned over to find out what she was gawking at. The label read Bhut Jolokia chili pepper. "I can't believe you just shoved the hottest spice known to man down your dad's throat," Tenten breathed as the Hyuugas quickly retreated.
"I'm sure there's hotter," Lee appeased, stealing a jug from a hurriedly approaching servant.
"Umm… maybe undiscovered." She leaned towards the cowering Neji. "Why is this out on the table anyway? I thought your family's taste buds were super sensitive?"
Her boyfriend scowled at her. "It's not ours. I've never seen it before in my life."
For a moment, they were quiet. Very, very slowly, they turned as one being to stare in horror at Lee and then his plate, which was indeed sprinkled with a fiery red substance that was most definitely not to be found on the table.
"I dare you to take a bite," Tenten whispered.
"Only if you want me to die."
.
.
.
Sometimes, Lee swore he felt eyes on the back of his head. The short hairs on his nape would stand up and his heart would stop beating for one precious moment.
He looked wearily over his shoulder but saw no one. Distracted, Naruto managed to surprise-tackle him to the gravelly track and straddle his waist. "Whatcha looking at, Bushybrow? Did you see a squirrel?"
"No… no… I thought I felt – ah, but it doesn't matter." The feeling left as suddenly as it had come. Maybe it was his imagination? Naruto was still frowning, though. Lee had to lighten the mood! "Naruto Uzumaki, I challenge you to a race!"
"A race, huh? You ready to get your ass kicked?" The blonde waggled his eyebrows at him and smirked. Lee put on his most determined face and scrambled out from under his friend, dashing to his feet.
"You only say that because you're scared you'll lose to me," he stated haughtily. Some of the joggers catching up to them looked fearfully at each other and made the quick decision to skirt to the outside of the track. On the inner field, the small game of tag football came to a stop as the atmosphere took on a dark, heavy feel.
The gym teacher quickly started two timers and not a moment too soon as Naruto and Lee zipped past, neck to neck, running fast enough to be a blur to everyone watching in horrid fascination.
Lee won by .2 seconds.
.
.
.
There were people in his life that Lee never thought he would see again. Like the mountain lion he and Naruto had befriended those precious years ago or, even less likely, Sasuke Uchiha.
He stared at the raven-haired man blocking his way and wondered which would be better company at the moment. "What are you doing here?"
The Uchiha sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was still fashioned in what Naruto had so endearingly termed a "duck butt" way. "You're not even going to smile for me, Lee?"
"No. No, I'm not. As a matter of fact, I might just have to hurt you."
"Listen, Lee – "
"Answer my question," he cut in coldly. "What are you doing here?"
He paused for a long moment, glaring at Lee, and he thought that maybe he wasn't going to answer. That maybe he would just leave… again. And it would hurt Naruto again because Lee didn't have the heart not to tell him about it. They were friends for life, lies to them was death to someone who wanted to live forever.
"… I came back for Naruto."
"Oh, have you now?" Lee tried to walk around him. Sasuke intercepted. "Listen, it's wonderful that you've come back, maybe you can go visit Sakura, she still cries over you, you know. Oh, but leave Ino be, she and Shikamaru are going out now. And I've got to go to the market."
Sasuke tilted his head down. "Ramen?"
"What I'm purchasing is none of your business."
"Damn it, Lee, I've changed since I was thirteen years old, okay? I've… I've gotten over it."
"You have gotten over the assassination of the entire Uchiha family and the framing of your big brother?" Sasuke flinched and gritted his teeth. Lee's gaze softened. "Sasuke, I want you to know that we hurt with you for a very, very long time after that night. It was the first time I saw Naruto cry since he stabbed his hand. But it's a few years too late and Naruto has just stopped expecting you to come marching back and start a fight with him. Please, do whatever you've been doing, but don't hurt him again."
"I came back, doesn't that mean anything?" He glared at Lee.
Lee glared right back. "You came back after leaving to begin with. Doesn't that mean anything?" He dodged around Sasuke, had his braid grabbed, and was dragged into a tea shop.
His first instinct was to fight. His second one was to not fight in public.
Sasuke pushed him into a chair and took the one across from him. He propped his elbows up on the table and stared at Lee over his steepled fingers. "Give me five minutes with Naruto, don't you owe me – him – that much? If he doesn't forgive me…"
"Of course he'll forgive you. Naruto forgives everyone, and he would especially love to have you back." It broke his heart but it was the truth. Even when he had known that Sasuke would only hurt Naruto in the end – because who wouldn't have been able to see it with the Uchiha's attitude, his bloodlust? – he had also known that Sasuke was the Right One for his best friend.
He and Naruto had fit together like two pieces to a puzzle, like white and black, Yin and Yang. Lee could say from now till the end of time that Sasuke had been a bad choice, but that wouldn't change the fact that he had also been the best choice.
"You don't forgive me, though."
"You weren't the one who stayed by his hospital bed with his broken heart." And broken body.
He ducked his head. "I was the one who put him there, I know. I had to leave, Lee, you don't understand what the situation was. He wouldn't let me, I offered to…" He glimpsed at Lee's less than welcoming frown. "You already know that, though, don't you?"
"I don't know why you would ever think that Naruto would leave behind his family and friends to chase after your revenge. The thing I understand less is why you would leave behind the last person on earth who loved you for who you were for the same reason."
"You didn't understand then and you never will, you never knew your family."
"I never knew the family that gave birth to me, but I can tell you here and now that I know the family who raised me. Naruto is my family, poppa is my family, Minato and Kushina, Kakashi and Iruka, Jiraiya and Tsunade… I know my family. I also know that they would want me to live a long and happy life if anything, anything was to happen to them."
Sasuke's knuckles were white. "Your 'family' isn't mine. Your 'family' doesn't have the same fundamentals mine did."
"No. But you still had Naruto."
"Damn it, I offered to take him with me!"
"You offered to take him away from everything he loved!"
"He loved me."
"And he still does." Silence fell, solid and cold. The shop keeper suddenly found something to do in the back room and the waitress avoided their table like the plague. "That's why I suggest you not see him, not unless you can prove that you don't plan on abandoning him again."
"Lee… I…"
Humbling the Uchiha like this almost made Lee want to cry. It was the first time ever he had seen Sasuke look so infuriated and defeated and upset at the same time. "You what?"
"Five minutes, that's all I need. Whether to get him to take me back or to say goodbye, it doesn't matter."
"You clearly haven't heard of the oath we –"
"Why do you think I came to you first? Everyone in this town knows about that oath, hell, they know about it." He gestured to an aged couple trying to disappear into their booth. Put on the spotlight, they quickly paid and wobbled out of the diner. "All I want is five minutes. I can prove myself in five minutes or I can put everything to rest. Five minutes."
Lee was breaking. Because Sasuke was right, he did forgive everything. He remembered Naruto, how forlorn and beaten he had been. And he thought of how happy he would be to see Sasuke again, to be with him again. His Right One. Was it worth the risk? He kept stubbornly silent.
Sasuke slumped into his seat. "What if I give you something in return?"
"What are you talking about?" Now they were bargaining? Over Naruto? The idea of it made Lee feel dirty.
"I've been going in and out of the mafia for the past few years," he whispered lowly so only they would hear. Lee's heart stopped. The mafia! "And I picked up a few things. Lee, listen very carefully and don't look out the window." He put his hands flat on the table. "A branch of the mafia is headquartered in the Sahara desert, run by a boss named Gaara Sabaku. His left and right hand are his siblings, Temari and Kankuro."
"Why are you telling me this?" Lee hissed.
"Keep quiet and don't scream. Gaara is watching you."
"WHAT? W-why? If he's in the Sahara desert, then –" he stared bug-eyed at Sasuke. Very carefully, he removed the Uchiha's hand from his mouth. "Forgive me." Oh Gosh, a mafia boss wanted him dead. Oh, Gosh, the mafia knew him. Oh, Squirrels, this was exciting. Naruto would be excited. He had to tell Naruto!
Oh, but wait, right… Five minutes. But he hadn't agreed to anything and Sasuke had told him just enough to scare the life out of him and, and he wasn't using his best friend as a bargaining chip!
Sasuke stood up anyway, put down a bill for the nothing they had bought, and glared at Lee. "Five minutes. Tonight at seven, leave the apartment. I won't do anything he doesn't want me to do, okay?"
He didn't want to agree. Lee thought of Naruto's sunny smile. "F-fine. But only five minutes! I'll be counting and if you're a second over…"
"You'll roundhouse kick me like Chuck Norris," he finished.
"Oh, no. I'll be much worse than Chuck Norris."
Sasuke left. Lee stayed. On one hand, he didn't have to believe Sasuke. On the other, Sasuke had never lied to them. He had never promised to stay, had always said that he would avenge his family, and had gone to the dark side as he had threatened to do.
The mafia was following Lee. But why?
.
It took nearly a half hour for him to explain the entire encounter. Naruto just couldn't get over the fact that Sasuke was back. Then he couldn't believe that there was mafia in the desert. Finally, the thing he couldn't believe was that the mafia was following Lee.
"Maybe this Gaara guy has a crush on you. Yeah, it's one of those romantic stories where the big bad boss falls in love with the chick working at the flower shop!"
"Naruto, I'm a man, and I work at poppa's dojo."
"Close enough!" Naruto fell back against the couch and stared up at the ceiling. "Gaara sounds familiar, have we met him before?"
"I don't think so. Gaara sounds like a hard name to forget." And he doubted he would have forgotten meeting a mafia boss. "Naruto, are you okay?"
"… Yeah, I'm good. I mean, it's not like… It's not like…" Lee watched in silent awe as holes bloomed in the wall just above the futon. "That asshole! That bastard thinks he can come back now? What the hell, what changed? So he decides that he wants to talk to me? Fine! Bushybrow, when he gets here, I want you to take a walk, got that?"
"Understood! Then I'll come back in five minutes and if he's not gone…"
"No, I mean I want you to take a walk. What I have to say to him is going to be longer than five minutes and I don't want you interrupting us."
"B-but I made a threat! I have to uphold it or else, or else I am not an honest man."
"Bushybrow, do it for me, okay? Please?"
"I… I… Okay, but call me if you need me. I'll be here before Sasuke even knows what hit him!"
Naruto carefully removed his fist from the most recent hole and Lee quickly grabbed the first aide to wrap up the bleeding knuckles. The blonde watched him patch him up with angry eyes. "You know what pisses me off the most?" he asked in a harsh whisper.
Lee stared at his work, silent as the grave.
"I've already forgiven him."
.
Lee left two minutes before seven, just in time to run into Sasuke on his way up and glare at him. Sasuke paused and grabbed him by his braid. "Be careful out there."
"You care what happens to me?" He wanted to be sarcastic. He came off as serious instead.
"No, not really. But…" His gaze slid up and Lee wondered for a perturbed moment how many times Sasuke had stood in that spot, staring at the ceiling as if he could see their apartment. Sasuke had never asked for directions here, had he?
Which begged the answer to the question of how long Sasuke had been back.
"Naruto would be sad if anything happened to me," he agreed instead. "I would be sad if anything happened to him… like having his heart broken again or something along those lines."
"I'm trying to make up for it!" Sasuke snapped.
"Even when we'll forgive you," because Lee knew that wasn't an if, "we will never forget."
"I don't care if you'll remember from now to the end of time. I just want my idiot back."
Lee couldn't stop the smile. "My idiot". That last night, the same night neither he nor Naruto could have guessed what would happen the next day, Sasuke had said that. Naruto had screamed "Bastard!" and Lee had been there to see his best friend who probably was about as easy to embarrass as a war-battered grandpa blush like a girl.
"Good luck." He coughed into his hand. "Maybe you'll even live to see sunlight again."
"… He's pissed."
That wasn't a question. "Naruto might not have been strong enough to keep you back then, but he's strong enough to bring you down this time around," he answered anyway.
"It's a good thing I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon." He sidled a pointed look at Lee.
"Maybe." Lee left.
Sasuke and Naruto needed to talk. Lee needed to… do something. Only for as long as Naruto didn't need him and then he would be back like a flash of lightening!
.
"You don't remember me." It wasn't a question.
"Pardon?" Lee looked up and blinked at the redhead bent over him. When he had been unable to think of anything else to do on a Monday night, the tea shop had proven to be an available distraction. "Umm… should I remember you?"
The stranger gravely took the seat next to him. "Red hair. Sandbox. You hit me when I said that family didn't matter."
"Oh! Oh, yes, I remember you now…" He smiled fondly at the memory. "You were a very strange child." He had wondered where the boy's parents had been, or at least a babysitter. So he and Naruto had tottered over, nine and ten years old, and asked where his family was. The answer had enraged them both and then, somehow, after Lee had hit him and Naruto had vented, they ended up playing together in the sandbox.
"Why the sandbox? Slide's funner!" Naruto chirped.
"More fun, you mean," Lee corrected.
"Yeah, whatever."
The mystery redhead stared at the elaborate figure of a woman he had made out of sand and a pitcher of water from the nearby fountain. "It reminds me of home. When my father is done, we'll go back and I'll be…" He stopped and looked so angry that Naruto and Lee endeavored to distract him.
Lee, thinking 'what would poppa do?' leaned over and petted the redhead. "It's okay," he said, even though he wasn't sure what he was talking about. "Life will go on!"
A half hour later, it occurred to Lee that they had never asked for his name. The redhead blinked at him when he asked. "My name is G-"
Lee hadn't heard anything after that, though. Only Naruto had been close enough to catch the rest of what the child said because then a bully had come up and shoved sand in Lee's face, screaming in his ear that he was a freak. That had been a huge mistake on the bully's part, as Naruto and the redhead rushed to Lee's aide. But then their new friend had turned out be a scary-experienced fighter for being so small and they had had to call an ambulance to pick up the bully…
By the time they had carted the kid away, the strange child had disappeared.
"Forgive me, but I never did learn your name."
The redhead waved off his apology and, seeming to think that he was being summoned, the waiter on call came over and the mystery man made an order.
Lee sipped his hot chai tea. "What brings you back to our humble town, if I may ask? I always assumed you lived in a desert somewhere."
"I do." He watched Lee. "My father died."
"Oh! I'm so sorry, that must have been hard –"
"He was an asshole, don't keep apologizing."
"I… I see… Forgi-, I mean, um…"
He actually smiled. Lee smiled abashedly back. "That was actually four years ago, but there were matters of importance I had to sort through first before I could do what I've wanted to do since we first met."
"Really? What was –"
Lee was eighteen years old when he had his first kiss. When the redhead pulled away, he gulped. "N-nine year olds s-shouldn't be thinking of k-kissing other boys."
"You said it yourself, I was a strange child." A sputtering waiter put down a cup of tea in front of the redhead and all but ran away, ears blushing red. "My family thinks I make an even stranger man."
"Y-you've learned to appreciate your family?"
"Yes. That day with you and Naruto put some things into perspective for me. I will always be grateful for that, it made my position as boss much easier to commit to."
"A boss? But you're so young!" He wondered what sort of business the redhead was boss of. In all honesty, it could be nothing more than a supermarket. But then, the nearest desert wasn't for nearly four hundred miles and no one on a supermarket paycheck, boss or otherwise, would make the trip for old memory's sake.
"There was little other choice."
"There is always a choice!"
"I made the choice, then."
"… Oh." He finished his chai and the redhead studied his cup, following the curves and loops of the gleaming black paint with darkly circled aquamarine eyes. "As long as you feel you did the right thing, that is all that matters!"
"I've never felt regret over my actions," the redhead agreed. "I've come into the habit of not wanting to regret what I do with my life."
"YOSH!" his yell startled everyone at the shop, minus his rediscovered friend who seemed to have been expecting it. "That is the best way to live, um… I still have not caught your name."
He drank his tea nonchalantly. "Gaara."
Lee's heart stopped. "G-Gaara? A-are you sure that's your name?" That had to be the stupidest question asked in the history of stupid questions.
"Yes. Gaara is my name. As in the mafia boss Sasuke sold out to you today. It's not what you think, I'm not here to kill you, so stop trying to signal the waiter. I do know sign language."
Lee quick put his hands down and stared at the redhead with wider-than-life black eyes. "S-sorry… I have, um, I do not think I've had the pleasure of meeting a-a mafia boss before."
"No, but you've had the pleasure of meeting seven of my subordinates, two of them my siblings."
"So you have been watching me!"
"Yes."
"How long, exactly?"
"Three months."
Lee was overwhelmed by a wave of relief. So feeling as if he was being watched hadn't been him going crazy, it had been Gaara doing… doing… "May I know why you were watching me?"
"If I must demonstrate again," the boss sighed and, before Lee could even think about the fact that mafia bosses had to have guns on them and that this mafia boss was leaning towards him again, kissed him a second time, longer and harder than the first with the promise of many more to come. "I was analyzing you for a decent way to approach. You haven't changed much since we were children, but I've never experienced a 'crush' before, so I wanted to be careful."
"G-Gaara… I think the technical term for that is stalking."
"It's not stalking unless you know and don't want it."
"Well I know now."
"You don't want it." It wasn't a question. Gaara appeared to be the kind of man who never really asked as much as told.
"I don't, I, well, that's a very strange question."
"I still don't have an answer."
"I don't even know how to!" His phone went off. They stared at each other, Lee in shock and Gaara unruffled. Then Gaara reached into his pocket, ignored his yelp, and snapped out his cell.
"Hello." Lee squawked, blushing red as Gaara absentmindedly settled a hand on his upper thigh. "Naruto, unless you direly need Lee at the moment, I demand your permission to date him. Yes, you know me. No, this isn't a joke. I'm the redhead from the sandbox, the one Lee hit. Of course you remember me now. Yes, my name is Gaara. Yes. No, I'm not going to kill Lee. I'm not here to kill Sasuke either but I should. I'm aware of the oath, I can honestly say that everyone from here to my homeland know about the infamous oath of the weirdo duo. I don't know how, it just happened. No, you can't talk to Lee right now, he's currently unable to speak."
Which was the truth. Were he to try, he most likely would have made some pitiful mousy squeaking noises as he watched Gaara's thumb pet his inner thigh through his tights.
"Whether you let me date him or not, I plan on kidnapping him either way."
"W-what?"
"Yes, I do believe I'm the Right One for him." Gaara listened for a moment and Lee could almost hear Naruto roaring over the connection. "Agreed. I'll have him home by midnight."
"What are you talking about?"
"Goodbye." He snapped his phone shut and slipped it back into his pocket. "Sasuke and Naruto have mended their relationship and your blood brother finds me amusing. The last thing to do is woo you."
Not even Lee said "woo" anymore. He could almost pass out from the shock and embarrassment. "I, I never agreed to this." There was meeting an old friend and falling in love… and then there was meeting a mafia boss and being whisked away. There was a romance novel… and then there was an action-packed movie with a bunch of explosions and, poor book, the romance novel was blown to bits of charring paper.
This could only end badly. A shiver of excitement went up Lee's spine anyway. Picking up a mountain lion should have ended badly too.
"All brawns and soul," Gaara quoted and Lee pondered on how he knew that. "You won't pass up on this experience."
Lee stared at his feet. Then, slowly working his way up to a grin, he laughed. "Well, when you put it that way!"
Author's Note: Mwa hah hah! Merry early Christmas, Sarah!