Summary: Have you ever daydreamed about a colleague?
Genre: General Angst/Romance
Rating/Warnings: Rated: T (at the most); no warnings.
Spoilers: None.
Disclaimer: All NCIS characters are the property of Bellisarius Productions, Paramount, CBS and the appropriate copyright holders within those companies.
DAYDREAMS
By Aunt Kitty
After you've known someone long enough, you have a hard time remembering when you didn't know them. I'm sure if I sat down and thought—really thought about it, I could remember when I didn't know her. When I didn't work with her. But it's difficult.
She's quite different from anyone I've worked with. From anyone I've known, even. Very bright. I wouldn't be wrong to go so far as to use the word brilliant. Witty. She makes me laugh when I least expect to. A way with words that—well, it's unlike anyone else, that's for sure.
And beautiful. My god, is she beautiful. Eyes that take my breath away. All the right curves in all the right places. We danced at the holiday party years ago; if I close my eyes, I can remember every move, every step. The smell of her perfume; her hand in mine, fingers laced together, the other hand pressed to the small of her back, drawing her as close as I dared in such a public place. And a smile—
I sound like I'm in love, don't I?
Yes, well… I guess I am. Took me long enough to admit it.
I can't count the times I've lost her or almost lost her—to other men, most of whom didn't deserve her… to the dangers of the job, times I thought I'd have to make it through the rest of my life without her. Without her. The two coldest words imaginable.
And…I'm not sure, but… I don't think it's a one-way street, either. She's a little flirtatious, a little risqué in her comments—not just with me, with a lot of people. Men and women, just to make things even more interesting. But I've always felt there was a little something… more… when she'd joke around with me. A glance held just a moment longer; her voice a note or two lower, her smile just a shade sultrier… Oh, my. Things like that can keep a man awake a long, long time.
I've tried to tell her before, but, as the song says, the words come out all wrong. Sometimes she's said things that make me wonder if it's not just fun and flirt on her side—but before I can screw up the courage to ask, the moment is gone and we're back to work, back to light banter and slightly sarcastic comments. But the months turn into years without our noticing and one of these days I might not be there to ask.
Today. Today I'll ask the question that wakes me up at night, that runs through my mind as she walks away from my desk with a smile and a cheery wave, that makes me walk faster into the building when I see her car is already in the lot.
Do you feel for me what I feel for you?
Do you love me as much as I love you?
Do you?
Can you?
Will you?
"Ducky? Hey, Ducky? Yo, Earth to Duckman!" She ruffles my hair playfully. "You in there? Daydreaming again? What are you thinking about?"
My courage fades like the mist... but still I smile. "Just lost in thought, Abby. Just… lost in thought."
finis