I don't own these characters at all. They belong to there rightful owners, so don't sue me! I live in the desert!
SO THE RAIN BEGINS AGAIN
Misao paced the length of the room nervously. She had been quite ill and was unable to attend the mission that the Oniwaban Group was on at the moment. Misao hadn't even found out the full details of the mission either. No one was telling her much, just bits and pieces. All she knew was that everyone was returning today. What totally surprised Misao was the fact that her Aoshi-sama had gone along too. He had stated quite plainly that more experienced men were needed. Had he thought she was not ready? That she wasn't a good enough ninja to go on missions? Misao was so determined to lead the members into this battle but somehow she had come down with a strange sickness and fell into a deep slumber for about 2 days. Well that is what was told to her. Misao had her suspicions as if someone was trying to stop her from attending. NO! Okina would never allow that to happen. I am old enough and strong enough to go along!
Misao walked out of the room and into the back yard. She needed to clear her thoughts so she decided to go and sit in the garden. Misao really wasn't one to sit around quietly and do nothing, but what else was there to do? Omasu and Okon were here as well and didn't need any help in the kitchen. They were preparing a feast for everyone when they returned. The garden was wet from the previous rain that occurred about 15 minutes ago but that didn't stop Misao from sitting in it. The wind had picked up and all the fragrances of the flowers surrounded her. She began to get restless and decided to arise and start picking flowers to place around the Aoiya. About 5 minutes into her picking a loud voice could be heard from the front gate.
"OKON…OMASU…GET A DOCTOR QUICK!" Shiro's voice rang through the Aoiya. Misao threw the flowers she had gathered in her hands and ran to the front. She had come to a sudden halt at the site of the group. Some members were being carried on stretches, others were limping badly and there were deep cuts, scratches and bruising all over them. Misao ran to help the injured into the building while some lucky uninjured members began collecting hot water to clean everyone's wounds. Misao was in a daze. How did this happen? Was there an ambush? Had the Oniwaban Group been betrayed? These thoughts were cut off as the doctor had arrived and began helping the injured with Okon and Omasu's help. Misao sat back in a corner as she was told to stand back and wait. Horrifying thoughts quickly came to her mind Where is Aoshi-sama? Has something happened to him?
Misao cut her thoughts short as she watched Shiro move closer to Okina and begin a conversation. Something was definitely wrong. Okina's face expressions changed dramatically with whatever Shiro was talking about. Okina and Shiro then turned their eyes to Misao and she knew it had something to do with her Aoshi-sama. Misao jumped to her feet and ran to where they were standing. Her sudden out burst had not surprised anyone.
"Where is he? Where is Aoshi-sama? What has happened to him?" Misao was now standing in front of them. All eyes where on her now. She did not care though. What had happened to her Aoshi-sama? He was the greatest swordsman she knew he had to have survived. She silently stared at the two men in front of her demanding, with her eyes, what had happened.
"It was like he was the Okashira all over again Misao. He just demanded we leave. That we should run now. He told us that we weren't cowards for retreating. That we had saved so many lives already, but now he said we had to save ourselves before it was too late. He said he'd take care of the rest of them. That he could manage on his own. He demanded we leave on his orders. So we did." Shiro ended his explanation there. He felt ashamed for leaving. Aoshi-sama had said to leave though. They would have disgraced themselves and Aoshi if they didn't listen to his orders, so they had agreed. They had left without looking back.
Misao couldn't believe what was just said. They had left Aoshi-sama behind, to fight for himself. Her eyes began to tear up and she started shouting at Shiro, not thinking about anything she was saying. She was so angry that they had not come back with him.
"I can't believe you left him alone. You left him to defend for himself. How could you? How could you be so mean, so thoughtless? I hate you! I hate you!" Misao's tears began falling down her face and Okina went to hug her but she shrugged away and walked to the other side of the room where she sat down. Okina placed a gentle hand on Shiro's shoulder and began talking to him. Misao couldn't hear any of it. She was so angry that this had happened. She sat in the corner of the room hoping that her Aoshi-sama was alive and well. She silently began to pray to all the gods for them to spare her Aoshi-sama.
Thunder rolled through the skies signalling another rain was coming very shortly and right on queue it started raining hard. There was the quiet whispering of Okon, Omasu, Okina and the doctor until a loud thumping noise of weapons hitting the floor could be heard. Misao's head jerked up and to her amazement, there stood Aoshi-sama in the front doorway of the Aoiya. The noise had come from him dropping his kodachi's on the floor.
"Aoshi-sama!" Misao had yelled at the top of her lungs and ran towards him, tears of happiness in her eyes. What surprised Misao was the fact that he didn't even register she had called him. As Misao got closer she could smell blood. A scream came from Misao's lips as she saw the sight of him. Aoshi was standing in the doorway drenched from the downpour outside and yet still covered head to toe in blood. Some was obviously from the many bandits he had to fight to get away from but most was from the injuries he seemed to be suffering from now. His usual expressionless face now bestowed the fact that he was both hurt and in a lot of pain.
"Doctor quick, Aoshi-sama needs help" Misao yelled back to the doctor and went to grab Aoshi to pull him inside but was too late as he fell into unconsciousness and landed on the floor with a loud thump. The doctor raced over to check Aoshi's vital signs and was glad to find him still alive. With assistance from the uninjured men they successfully carried Aoshi upstairs and into a private room. Misao stood bewildered in the doorway angrily cursing herself I should have been there? I should have helped him and protected him! She was snapped out of her thoughts when Okon placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. Misao looked up at the girl and placed a strong face on but deep inside she was falling apart. She bent down and picked up Aoshi's kodachi's and held them to her chest and went in the direction the men had taken her Aoshi-sama.
Misao could faintly hear the voice of the doctor talking to some of the other men but realised the door was closed. She decided to wait outside and sat on the floor leaning against the opposite wall with the kodachi's still held tightly to her chest. It had only been about 15 minutes when the doctor and the others emerged from the room, but it felt like eternity to Misao. The doctor saw Misao's frightened gaze and teary eyes but proceeded to give her the news.
"He is a very lucky man indeed. Any longer and… It does not matter. He is alive and now safe. You may see him but please, he is in bad shape and will not be able to talk to you. His body has induced so much pain that I had to give him medicine which will make him sleep for quite some time." And with that the doctor-patted Misao's shoulder and left to see how the other injured men were holding up. Misao rose to her feet and entered the room silently. Candles flickered right near Aoshi to feel the room with some light. Miso drew closer to Aoshi and when she saw how he looked the kodachi's hit the floor first then she second and she began crying into her hands. It was horrible, so horrible. He was covered in bandages where he had obviously been hurt in some way. They were everywhere. There were bandages around his arms, hands, chest and stomach, feet and one was wrapped around half his face. She observed this, as a blanket had not yet been placed over him. Misao too noticed that they had washed and cleaned Aoshi, as he no longer smelled of blood and he was now only clad in a loose pair of pants. Several moments passed and Misao's cries had stopped and turned into soft sniffles. Misao realised that even though Aoshi was unconscious he still shivered from the cool night breeze that drifted through the window. Misao then reached for the blanket and securely placed it over him. She left the room to go back downstairs and make a cup of tea. She needed to calm her nerves. Aoshi-sama was all right now but she still shook from the scene he made. Misao entered the kitchen and realised that Okina had just finished talking to the doctor. The doctor made a silent nod at Okina and began walking towards Misao.
"I have been informed that you are going to be the one looking after Aoshi?" Misao could only stare at the doctor but gave him a shaky nod. It had seemed that Okina told the doctor to tell her how to help Aoshi get better as he knew that she was never going to leave his side. Misao listened carefully to what the doctor was telling her and instructing her to do if any circumstance occurred. The doctor had left late that night and now everyone began to retreat to his or her room for a long rewarded rest. Okina had squeezed Misao's shoulder and smiled gently at her as he pushed her in the direction of where Aoshi was resting.
"He may need your presence with him for comfort Misao-chan" Was all Okina said and turned to go to his sleeping quarters.
Misao entered the room and noticed that Okon and Omasu had made a bed up for her to sleep in and watch over Aoshi. She had to smile at that. They knew her too well. Misao picked up the bed and laid it right next to Aoshi so that hopefully he could feel her presence and proceed to get better faster.
After that Misao left the room to get some clothes and belongings from hers and proceeded to change into her sleeping wear. She was now back in "their" room and realised that he had kicked off his blanket and was now facing the doorway. Misao rushed right over and felt his temperature and realised that this is exactly what the doctor was talking about. He had told her that Aoshi would probably go through hot and cold flushes, and right now he was hot. A bowl of water was on the small table and Misao grabbed the cloth and soaked it in the water. Once she rinsed the cloth of excess water she began folding it and placing it on his forehead. As the cloth made contact with his skin his face seemed to relax and Misao was in awe at how beautiful Aoshi looked right now minus all the bandages. His usual expressionless face didn't show pain anymore and that made Misao smile. It had been about half an hour now and Aoshi had begun to shake with the effects of coldness happening. At this turn of events Misao didn't even blink an eye and securely placed the blanket around Aoshi. The shacking had ceased and Aoshi had rolled over onto his back again. Misao now sat in the silence of the night and waited for her Aoshi-sama's next "move". After about ten minutes Misao's shoulders relaxed as nothing happened. She now sat on her futon and proceeded to stare around the room. Was this were he usually slept? The room is so lonely, so lifeless. There were no pictures and hardly any furniture in here. Misao brushed these thoughts aside as she realised he was hardly here anyway. He was always at the temple. Misao began twirling her long braid in her fingers feeling quite bored. She noticed her brush sitting on the floor near her and proceeded to undo her braid. Her long hair fell down her back limply in soft wavy curls and shorter parts cascaded down her front. She picked up the brush and began working out the knots. Misao finished her brushing and was about to re-braid her long hair when she heard a moan coming from Aoshi. This was different. The doctor had not said anything about this. What was she going to do now? Misao crawled closer towards Aoshi and felt his temperature but he was neither hot nor cold. Aoshi moaned again, this one seemed more pained though and Misao bit her bottom lip trying to decide on what to do. In her last attempts to come to a decision of trying to calm her Aoshi-sama down she placed his head in her lap and began to hum a soft tune hoping this would help. She could still hear Aoshi moaning but it had become less and less as she had placed one of her hands in his hair and began moving it around in some unknown pattern. Misao let out a large sigh, as this seemed to work. Moments later the room fell into silence. Hours seemed to pass by but went unnoticed by the two occupants of the room, as they both were sound asleep. Aoshi's head was still cradled in Misao's lap and she had fallen asleep resting against one of the walls.
It was around lunchtime and a slight rustling of the door jolted Misao from her slumber to see Okon place a tray of lunch and Aoshi's medicines and bandages right next to her. Misao silently looked at Okon and was about to refuse the food when Okon began talking softly.
"Please eat it Misao. You know that if Aoshi-san ever found out that you didn't eat anything while he was recovering he would be most displeased." Misao looked at Okon and realised that this would be the truth and nodded her head. Before Okon left the room Misao's quiet voice stopped her.
"Thank you Okon. I'll bring the tray back down later." Okon realised that Misao had finished talking as her eyes were now closed. She must be real tired. Was she up taking care of Aoshi-san all night? Actually that wouldn't surprise me one bit. Okon smiled and closed the door behind her and went back downstairs.
Misao breathed in a deep breath and started following the doctor's orders that raced through her mind. All the medicine was dissolved and all she had to do was feed it to Aoshi. She gently held his head in one arm and carefully placed the cup at his lips. With little bits at a time the medicine was soon drunk and Misao placed Aoshi's head back on the pillow. The next part sent a light blush to Misao's cheeks but she soon scolded herself for acting so childish. She had to redress Aoshi's bandages everyday until he was able to do it himself. Misao began at his head and unwrapped it. The doctor had said just to wipe the gash once and then pat it softly dry. A bandage was not needed here anymore. Misao saw that Aoshi had bruises on his neck from where a bandit/s had obviously tried to strangle him. Misao eyes feeled with tears but she sucked them back bravely. She looked at the bandage wrapped around his chest and realised she had to get him to a sitting position. Now Misao knew Aoshi was not a light man but it seemed easier then she thought. His body moved to her commands and she was very thankful. The bandage fell silently on the bed and Misao gasped at what she saw. There were literally hundreds of scars on her Aoshi-sama's chest, indicating all the battles he had been in. Now there were new ones to add to the so-called "collection". Misao did not care though. She thought he was beautiful. Snap out of it Misao! You're here to help Aoshi-sama get better! She silently berated herself. After about an hour or two of carefully attending to Aoshi's injuries, the last thing she did was roll his pant legs back down to cover up the bandages on his calf muscles and place the blanket back over him.
Misao opened the window again and looked outside to see the sun shining with a few clouds in the sky, but not enough to cause rain. Misao hurriedly changed and raced downstairs to return the tray to Okon. She smiled her thanks again and ran outside to pick the flowers she had forgotten about yesterday.
*********************************************************************
The day had passed for Misao as she was again wearing her sleeping clothes. She had returned to hers and Aoshi's room making sure he was all right. The doctor said not to help him all the time. His body needed to fight the pain and even though Misao was reluctant to leave, she was glad for the break. She had placed different bouquets of flowers all around the house and different sorts in the room she was staying in so it would help Aoshi find comfort. The room was again silent and began to fidget so she decided to talk to Aoshi-sama. It didn't faze her one bit that he wouldn't reply, that is how he always was, conscious or not.
"Aoshi-sama? I don't know if you can hear me, but I want you to come back. We all want you to come back. Please get better. Don't you understand that were here for you. That I'm here for you! I want to help you Aoshi-sama." This wasn't working. Misao was getting all worked up. Maybe she just needed to talk about stuff in general and not get so personal. So she began again.
"Its such a beautiful day Aoshi-sama. I went into the garden and picked all these flowers. Don't worry when you get better you'll be able to walk through the Aoiya and see them all. There are different sorts in every room. The doctor said I had to have a break and that your body needed to work itself out, so I went to the garden. I was doing that yesterday while you and the others were away. I wanted to surprise everyone but look what happened. They got hurt from the mission. You got hurt. I should have been there. I should have protected you. I'm so sorry Aoshi-sama, so sorry." Misao had begun to cry. She hadn't meant for it to happen she just wanted to see those ice-blue eyes again. A few moments later Misao felt a soft touch on her bare skin and gasped. She looked down to find that Aoshi's eyes were open and staring at her, with confusion and asking her a silent question of what had happened and why she was here.
"Aoshi…" Was all Misao said and she began to cry tears of joy.
*********************************************************************
The gentleness of the rain has awoken me from my slumber, calming my ragging heart from my continuous nightmares of the night before. It's trying to soothe my soul and wash away my pain.
This is not like me though. Everyone else seems to be up and doing his or her usual chores around the Aoiya. I have not yet descended from my room to nod at their greetings and move on to the temple. That is when I remember what has happened over the last few days. Most of my bandages have been removed, as they are no longer needed. Only one on my right hand and a large one around my chest are present to remind all the household members of what has occurred. As I dress for the day I feel a comforting aura surround me as though guarding me from some hidden danger only it can sense. I shake off my sleepiness and head down to the kitchen to find some tea. As I enter no one is inside but they have had the exact same thoughts I was thinking a moment ago. Hot tea has already been placed into some cups. I decide to take one and walk back up to my room and begin my meditation there. I begin to ascend the stairs and realise that this comforting aura has not left me and as I enter my room I notice that the aura's presence is most strong in here. I do not think it as annoying rather I am confused at why it feels the need to give me protection. I brush the thought out of my mind and approach the window and open the shutters. I descend to the tatami mat slowly and a low groan escapes my throat as I can still feel the effects of what has happened to me. The smell of the rain floats into the room. I take a deep breath and close my eyes to concentrate on meditating.
Images flash through my mind lightning fast and yet I still catch a glimpse of them.
**** FLASHBACK ****
Visions of my four fallen comrades practising, talking or playing with a very happy and energetic Misao-chan. The night I watched Misao-chan sleep and then I left with the others breaking all my promises. The time where I nearly killed Okina when I completely lost it. An older Misao faithfully preparing my tea, bringing me lunch and trying to strike up a conversation with me in the temple. Her beautiful smile and innocent ocean-blue eyes trying to pry something out of me. Those blue eyes pierce through to my soul even though she does not know it. I can see her loneliness, her yearning for me to find peace. Why does she waste her time on me? Then the last few images are of Misao. Most of them are of her crying, crying for me.
My last image is fading away from me…Misao. She is sitting right at my side dressed in her sleeping yukata and her hair cascading freely down her body. Her glorious scent is all through the room and as I wake groggily from my slumber I hear her crying. My heart feels pain as the last of her words have shattered through to my soul… '…I should have protected you. I'm so sorry Aoshi-sama, so sorry' and then my eyes opened. I brushed her bare skin to grab her attention and when she saw my eyes were open she said 'Aoshi', no "sama" and then she cried her heart out.
**** END FLASHBACK ****
I opened my eyes and cast a glance at the window and realise that it is still raining. The aura has surrounded me through my flashbacks and it is only now that I realise it comes from the one special person that I hold dearly in my heart. Misao I can now smell her perfume scent in the room, after all she had spent the last few days in here, watching over me, protecting me. My eyes have now closed again as I take a deep breath and inhale her scent into my body. My eyes snap open as I hear muffled voices coming from outside. Silently I stand and see two lone figures walking in the rain.
I decide to go outside and proceed to observe. As I take the long way around I notice the yard is quite open and proceed to climb onto a branch which is covered in leaves which will hide my presence. It is still raining and as I rest on a lower branch my hand brushes on my chest to drive away the pain I have just caused my body. I can now clearly see Shiro. When I see a glimpse of the other person my eyes widen in surprise as I notice it is Misao. She is not wearing her usual outfit though. As I observe from my perch she is wearing a beautiful light blue kimono and her long hair is flowing in the cool breeze. They are too far away for me too hear the conversation they are having, but I observe the body language being exchanged. I noticed that Misao has now bowed her head and seems to be blushing slightly. I shift positions when I notice Shiro tilting Misao's head back up and smiling back at her. They now share an embrace and I look down at my hands, which I have now realised, are deathly pale and turned into fists. A tiny voice in my head answers my own silent question… You are jealous, my silent voice replies back to me plainly. You don't like that someone else is holding her, even when it is a friendly gesture, when you know you are the one who wants to be doing that. What is stopping you anyway? Are you that much of a coward? I throw these thoughts into the back of my mind and realise that Shiro and Misao have gone. They have obviously finished whatever conversation they came out to have and left. Then why are you still sitting in this tree? The small voice replies back to me sarcastically. I shrug my shoulders at the question and open my ever-present black shirt and undo my bandage around my chest. Hopefully the cool rain will help ease the pain I have caused it before. I close my eyes and try to relax. They soon snap open when I hear her voice from below the tree.
"Mou, Aoshi! You know its not nice spying on people when they are having a private conversation." Misao jokingly said while smiling shyly up at me. I could do nothing as I looked at the beautiful woman before me. How did she know I was here? I couldn't hear anything that was exchanged between the two of them so I felt no shame. I decide to descend to the ground and leap down from the branch. A low groan escapes my throat again as I have caused my injuries more pain. Misao was immediately by my side and helping me stand properly. She has placed one of her small hands across my chest and covers my many scars where the pain was irradiating. Her gentle touch on my skin begins to take the pain away.
"Come on Aoshi. You know you should be resting upstairs." Is all she said. She has now placed my arm over her small shoulders and snaked hers around my waist to help guide me back to the Aoiya. My mind is in a daze at this sweet gesture and I quickly realise that we are now standing at the door to my room. I don't even recall walking up the stairs. I look down at the woman beside me and realise she has that look of determination on her face again. I say again as I saw it etched in her features when she wanted to take care of me many times before. We have now entered the room and Misao is putting slight pressure on my shoulders indicating she wants me to sit down. I comply with her request and now I sit and observe her every move. Misao has moved from one side of the room to the other grabbing a towel and bandages. She is now sitting in front of me and has taken off my wet shirt. She has begun to dry me and I place my hand on one of hers to stop. Our eyes meet and before I can refuse her help she has already begun talking.
"Don't even think about trying to come up with some excuse to get out of this one Aoshi because I will not hear of it. Please, just for a couple of times in your life let a woman help you. Let me help you. If you're afraid that someone will find out that you received help from a woman you need not worry, I shall not tell a soul. Please let me care for you Aoshi." I looked at her face and noticed she had cast her look to the side and blushed beautifully at her confession. I was struck dumb found at what she had said. She wants to help me. Of all the people in the world she wishes to take care of me. My heart constricted in my chest and all I could do was remove my hand from hers. That was all the indication she needed as she continued to dry me off. I closed my eyes and let her aura and perfume scent comfort me once more, like it had been doing for years now, only I was too thick-headed to realise it. Her scent was becoming intoxicatingly strong and my heart beat grew faster. My skin tingled at being touched by her petite hands and as I opened my eyes I realised Misao had to hug me in order to wrap the bandage around my chest. She soon attending to me and silently rose to her feet and began packing everything away. She opened my window to let in some more light and that is when I realised her clothes were still wet. She had taken care of me without even giving herself a second thought. I too rose quickly and padded towards her. I stood right behind her and wrapped the towel around her small frame. Misao had turned in my light embrace and briefly hugged me in one of her arms while the other held the towel closed. I felt safe and warm even though Misao was drenched from the rain that still continues to fall outside.
"Misao you should change into something warmer. You might become ill and Okina would worry." I had stated plainly. You mean you would be the one worrying. The small voice inside my head berated me for being so casual with her. Misao pulled away from me and with a silent nod she left the room.
I sat back down on my bed, leaned against the wall under the window and listened to the drizzle continue to fall outside. What was taking her so long? Was she even coming back into the room? My eyes began to droop closed and her name slipped past my lips as the world fell into darkness.
**** BEGIN FLASHBACK ****
More and more bandits were coming out of the forest. Where the hell did they all come from? I silently wandered to himself. I knew there was only one thing left to do, retreat, but not me, just the others. I needed to protect them. So I began to speak my orders.
"Shiro take the others and leave right now. You aren't cowards. I can deal with the rest of them. Go now before it's too late. That's an order!" The last part was yelled and even though there was a look of surprise on Shiro's face he silently nodded and the members retreated back into the darkness of the night. I let out a quick sigh, as the other members were safe. Now it was time for myself to retreat. In that split second I was now surrounded by a group of 10 bandits. This was not looking good.
"Quick they're getting away" One of the bandits had stated but he went down with a loud thump as I sliced opened his back with both of my kodachi's. I showed no emotion but I could clearly read the looks of surprise that filtered across the bandits' faces. All at once they charged at me swinging their weapons like lunatics. Some had actually struck me fair and square as I let down my guard to fight off some others. What amazed me the most was how ridiculous these bandits were fighting. Here I was outnumbered and if the bandits actually worked together they could have killed me. One of the bandits was coming straight towards me and in that split second all I could do was throw my right hand out and catch the blade of the man's weapon. That bandit went down in a flash seconds later. Another two men, one slicing his weapon over my chest while the other tried to strangle me, fell to the ground dead moments later. The battle took only about 10 minutes, but to me, that was ten minutes too long. The other bandits had retreated and now I stood painfully looking into the darkness. My body was in so much pain. The bandits' bodies were littered all over the forest floor and the only sound that could be heard was the rustling of the leaves and my rugged breathing. I wiped the blood of my kodachi's and re-sheathed them and began the long painful walk back to the Aoiya.
The rain fell hard and soaked me through, but the stench of my blood and the bandits would not leave me. I'm nearly there…I must survive…Misao… And with those thoughts in mind I kept walking. Blood poured from the wounds I had sustained. My feet were excruciatingly painful from all the pressure I was putting on them. Actually I was quite amazed they had kept me up for so long. My blurry vision could make out the front door to the Aoiya. I flinched at the extra pain I caused my right hand as I slid the door open. I could not hold my kodachi's any longer and they hit the ground. As I stood in the doorway a voice reached my ears…Misao? It had to be her, that scent was right beside me now. Pain, so much pain. Misao…I'm sorry. I could feel my body grow weak and only welcomed the darkness, which gladly took me to another place.
I now stood in complete darkness alone. I began walking around and realised that my body is not in as much pain as it had been before.
"Where am I?" I asked out loud, secretly hoping that someone would come along.
"In you" A voice I didn't recognise answered me back.
"What?"
"You are in your own mind Aoshi. I am here to help you make a choice."
"My mind? Is it really like this? So dark? So alone?"
"It does not have to be like this you know. You must choose Aoshi. Do you wish to return or do you wish to stay?"
"Return? Return where? I don't understand"
"To the Aoiya, your home of course."
"Home…Is everyone all right?" I asked in a small voice.
"Yes, everyone is alive. Are you sure you are asking about everyone? Or do you just want to know about someone in particular? You know you must stop this madness. She is waiting for you and she worries. Do you know that she cries every night because you have not found your peace? But now she cries more. You have been badly hurt and she was unable to protect you? Do you know how much that kills her inside? Don't you know she loves you so much."
"What? Who are you talking about"
"Misao of course"
"Misao…" As soon as I voiced her name, a bright light exploded and my eyes opened to see a crying Misao talking to me '…I should have protected you. I'm so sorry Aoshi-sama, so sorry' My heart thumped in my chest. I brushed her soft skin to get her attention. A soft gasp came from her as ours eyes met, mine asking her a silent question of what had happened and why was she here.
"Aoshi…" Was the only thing Misao had said as she began to cry tears of joy.
I was a quite surprised with Misao's next move as she laid down next to me and wrapped an arm around my bare chest, hugging me to her, while she cried into my neck. I had closed my eyes now and thanked all the gods that I had made it back. That I could see her again. 'She is waiting for you and she worries. Do you know that she cries every night because you have not found your peace? But now she cries more. You have been badly hurt and she was unable to protect you? Do you know how much that kills her inside? Don't you know she loves you so much.' Thoughts ran through my mind Was this really true? Had she been taking care of me and waited for me to return to her? I opened my eyes when her cries had finished and she wasn't embracing me anymore. I looked to see Misao blushing lightly and in her embarrassment she began to babble.
"I'm sorry Aoshi. I didn't mean to overact. I was just so glad. I'm so happy you're awake. I've been waiting for ages. It felt like forever. I thought you might never come back. Thank you. Thank you so much for coming back. I'm so grateful. Please…Please don't leave again. I don't want to be alone anymore. I love you Aoshi! Please let me protect you and take care of you" I was in awe at how beautiful Misao looked dressed in her sleeping yukata with her hair cascading freely around her and the tatami mat. I snapped out of my daze when I registered the last bits of her statement '…Thank you so much for coming back. I'm so grateful. Please don't leave again. I don't want to be alone anymore. I love you Aoshi! Please let me protect you and take care of you' I heard a gasp and looked over at Misao. Her hands were slapped over her mouth, her eyes closed tightly and her head turned to the side. She blushed bright red as she now figured out that she openly confessed her true feelings to me.
"Misao…I thank you for taking care of me." Her eyes opened and searched mine. As I looked into hers I knew the expressions they showed. Thankful for not bringing up what she had said and yet sadness as I didn't even acknowledge her little confession. Deep inside I was in awe. In the sense of love, Misao was the brave one and I the coward. I began to fall into a deep slumber again as my body decided it had been up long enough. Misao voice carried softly to my ears before I fell into a deep sleep.
"I'll take care of you Aoshi."
**** END FLASHBACK ****
I awoke from my slumber to hear a soft humming register in my ears. How long have I been out? I had wandered to myself. My eyes were covered by my long bangs and so I watched the beauty in front of me without her even knowing. Misao was sitting close to me, obviously giving me comfort and humming a soft tune. Her loose sleeping yukata draped over her well-proportioned body. Her eyes were closed and her head tilted to the side as she brushed her long wavy hair. It pooled in her lap and when she was done, she proceeded to flick it around, where it fell onto the tatami mat she was sitting on. My breath caught in my throat as I realized she began to rise as if leaving the room. I could not help but call her back, not wanting her to leave.
"Misao?" She turned towards me and smiled that beautiful smile that lit up her whole face.
"Did you sleep well Aoshi? You seemed to be mumbling in your sleep. Were you dreaming?" I gazed into her eyes and realised that she had begun to call me Aoshi. I liked it. What was I going to say? The thoughts that kept running through my mind is of what she had accidentally confessed to me the other day. She loves me and yet I sit here and do nothing. You are a coward! The voice inside my head has stated to me plainly. Yes. I am. I merely nod that yes I slept well and I did dream. I wanted to change the subject and for some unknown reason the image of Misao and Shiro embracing came racing in my mind.
"So, how did you know I was in the tree and what were you and Shiro talking about?" I had asked unfazed. Her eyes pierced through mine and she blushed lightly and bent her head down. I waited patiently for her to tell me what happened.
"I will always know the presence of the one I hold dear in my heart. I wanted to apologise to him for acting so rude. He had explained that you ordered them to leave. He said that you could take care of the rest. I started yelling at him, telling him how could he be so mean, so thoughtless. I just couldn't bare the thought that you had been left behind with no help. I wanted to race after you to protect you, but I didn't know where you were. I prayed to all the gods to spare you so you could return to me. I just wanted to be with you." I was now struck speechless. Misao was baring her heart and soul to me and all I could do was take it in and just ask more questions.
"What did he say?" Misao's gaze turned to mine and quickly moved away. Her blush was getting stronger now.
"He said it didn't matter. He knew it was coming anyway. He had said that he wasn't hurt because he knew me too well. He stated quite frankly that everyone knew I was going to scream my head off at him. I still felt bad though. He then stated something that was true though 'We all know how our Misao-chan acts when it comes to her Aoshi-sama'. I guess I was just hurt that I had been left behind again." I had to smirk at Shiro's statement. Yes we all know how Misao-chan acted all those years ago, but not now. She has changed so much. More beautiful then ever though. Snap out of it! It felt so easy to think but was it really that easy to say.
"No. I don't think so." I stated quite plainly. Misao's face showed confusion and she opened her mouth to ask me what that meant but I decided to open my heart up to her and tell her exactly what I felt.
"The statement, I mean, we all know that if you were younger you would have done things differently. You see everyone still sees you as Misao-chan because they are afraid that you have grown up on them too fast. Believe me I was one of them. Okina is coming around to the fact that you are a young woman now and not quite as predictable as you used to be. You are all grown up and able to leave all of us behind. You see I knew the Misao-chan back then and I knew exactly what you were thinking about before even you did. The Misao now is someone I don't know and someone who I can hardly predict. That is what scares me. The young Misao comes out every now and then just to let everyone now you haven't completely changed and that makes me feel safe from not feeling anything towards you at all." I cast my head down and my eyes were closed tightly. I let out a loud sigh. There I said it. I told her my fears of her changing too much and leaving us behind. Well mainly leaving me behind. My eyes snapped open and looked to hers. She had placed one of her hands on my cheek. Unshed tears glistened in her eyes as she began to speak.
"I-I…" I had to smirk at the picture she made. Misao was struck speechless at my confession. It is the most I have ever spoken in such a long time. Although she cannot think of what to say at this moment, I wait patiently to hear her outcome of this. She begins to speak again only this time her voice grows weaker as she finishes her confessions.
"Don't say that. I would never leave this place. I would never leave you Aoshi. Don't you know it yet? I want to be here at the Aoiya and most of all I want you to be with me! Misao-chan is always here because I am her and the Misao now, which will never change. If you miss Misao-chan a bit just look through me…look into my eyes and you'll see. They haven't changed. They well always be Misao-chan. You just need to look into your heart and realise that she'll always be there. I will always be there because that's where I belong and you will always belong in mine. I love you Aoshi and no matter what you do, you'll always be my Aoshi." All her words pierced into my heart over and over again as I tried to grasp exactly what was said. Love? She felt love for me since she was little and it has only progressed over the years. I have betrayed her so many times and yet she still wants me to feel love. Not just anyone's loves, but hers. My eyes are now searching her face and my heart beats wildly at the site of her. Her ocean-blue eyes are staring at me. They hadn't even left my face and yet the tears have begun to fall down her beautiful face. Her hand has shakily lifted to my face and brushed my tear away. I am crying! The thought of that was quite strange but now I understand. I am here to protect her and to love her like no other and she the same for me. I lean forward and brush my lips over hers lightly. She has gasped and I pull away fearful that I have done something wrong. The look in her eyes and the smile on her face tells me otherwise. She now throws her arms around me and hugs me for dear life as though I am ready to disappear.
"Thank you for giving me the best memories of all Misao" I know I am not quite ready to confess to her my true feelings and she doesn't seem angry by this. She has now kissed me shyly, but quickly pushes away and blushes for being so straightforward. I tilt her face back up and show her with my eyes and my mouth that she doesn't need to be afraid anymore. The look of shock has spread evenly over her facial features as she traces a finger over my bottom lip, which has turned into a smile. A laugh bubbles up from her throat as she kissed and hugged me with joy and all I did was return her embraces.
***********************************************************
I wake to find that Misao has fallen asleep curled up in my lap with her arms wrapped securely around my waist, trapping me in her embrace. I can hear the sound of the rain falling outside again. So the rain has begun again…I silently wander to myself. This time the rain has succeeded, it has soothed my soul. I no longer feel pain. I strengthened my embrace around her and silently thank her for everything. I have been saved from my own darkness by the angel that lies peacefully in my arms. Unconsciously Misao also tightens her embrace as if she has heard my thoughts. I look down at her and realise I have woken her from her slumber. I apologise with my eyes for waking her but she smiles up at me and kisses my hand, then places it on her heart. Her beautiful eyes are back on mine and she places a soft gentle kiss on my lips. As she moves in my embrace to find comfort once more I now have the courage to say what I have wanted to say for so long.
"I love you" I am amazed at how easy it is to say. As she looks up at me, her eyes sparkling, I had to laugh at her reply.
"I know Aoshi, I know" And then she hugs me tightly to her. I embrace her as well and we both let out contented sighs. I smile at this as she giggles. I look down at her small frame locked in mine, her face pressed on my chest and her hand absently rubbing across my chest giving me comfort and two words come to my mind, mine forever.