It wasn't that he felt depressed it was just he didn't feel... Right... It was just lately everything had been getting him down.
"You alright Haru?" Sousuke asked.
Haru put his hands on both of the taller boy's shoulders, standing on his tippy toes, hoping to give the other a kiss. But Sousuke pushed him back with a hiss.
"Fuck sake, Haru! My shoulder!"
Haru quickly let go. The moment was ruined.
Rin growled, stomping over to them.
"HARUKA! far out! Cmon, Sousuke, we'll put some cream on it." Rin snapped before pushing the older boy out of the room.
"'M sorry." Haru mumbled as he stood by himself.
He sighed and opened the door, going out into the cold air.
He laid down on the porch and looked to the sky, rubbing the tears out of his eyes.
"Dinner is ready." He heard Makoto call.
He ignored him.
A few minutes later he heard the door open.
"There you are Haru. Dinner's ready."
Haru didn't say anything. So Makoto tried again.
"Haru?" He stepped closer.
"No thank you."
"But it's mackerel."
"'M not hungry."
Something was defiantly wrong. The older boy stepped closer and put his hand on the other's forehead.
"You don't have a fever, so, what's wrong?"
Haru shook the hand off his head and sat up.
"Nothing is wrong. I'm going to bed."
"Without a bath? Without dinner?" Makoto asked surprised.
"Good night." Was all the dark haired boy said before walking to the bedroom.
"Where's Haru?" Rin asked when Makoto entered the room by himself.
"He's in bed." He sighed.
Sousuke and Rin both shared equally confused, worried looks.
"With out dinner?" Asked Sousuke.
"Without a bath?" Added Rin.
Makoto frowned and nodded.
"He'll be alright." Rin said unconvincingly.
Haru laid in the bed. Small sniffles escaped him and he wiped furiously at the falling tears. What the hell was wrong with him?
"Haru?" Came Rin's voice from the doorway.
The younger boy pretended to be asleep.
He hears Rin's footsteps get closer.
"Hey, Haru. What's wrong, babe? You can tell me. I know you're not really asleep."
Haru sighed but didn't turn to face the shark-like male.
Rin pulled at his shoulder to turn him around.
Once succeeding Rin let out a gasp. Haru doesn't cry. Haru never cries.
"Haru? Babe? What's wrong?!"
Hearing the distressed voice, the other 2 males entered the room.
"I'm sorry". was all Haru said before sobbing into his forearm.
"What did you do?" Makoto snapped to Rin.
"I-I didn't do anything. I swear." His heart slamming against his rib cage in panic. Why was his Haru so sad?
"I-I don't understand." Rin said an hour later, once they were all laying down, Haru the only one asleep.
"It's alright, he'll tell us in the morning." Sousuke said, kissing the top of his head.
But the next morning Haru didn't say anything. He tried to act normal. Tried.
When he didn't bring it up, the others did.
"Haru, about last night-" Sousuke was cut off.
"I'm sorry." Was all Haru said.
"Yeah, you keep saying that. But what are you sorry for?"
A minute passed and when they realised Haru wasn't going to answer they went back to doing what they were doing, missing the word "everything" that slipped from the dark haired boys lips.
'Why do I always give them a reason to worry? Why do I always hurt them? Make Rin cry?' The guilt curdled inside him, making him feel sick.
Haru made coffees for his boyfriends, he picked up one of the cups and took it to Rin, who was sitting at his work desk.
He was about to sit the mug down when the other male flung his arm in the air with a yawn, knocking the mug out of Haru's hand.
"Are you fucking kidding me, Haru?!" Rin screeched as the scolding hot coffee burnt his lap.
"Fucking hell!" He cursed again before stomping out of the room, leaving a crying Haru by himself. Once again.
Haru was laying facedown on the couch, his boyfriends padding around the house, doing what ever they do. Rin still sulking about getting coffee spilt on him.
He flinched when a hand ran through his hair.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Haru turned his head and looked to the brown haired, green-eyed boy.
"It's fine." He replied.
"But it's not is it? It's not fine, YOU are not fine. So tell me what's going on in that head of yours." Makoto's hand was still running through Haru's black hair.
"Do-" he gulped.
"Do I screw things up? Am I screwing us up?" He whispered, just loud enough for the other boy to hear.
Makoto gaped.
"What?! Of course not! Where's you hear that?"
Haru shrugged.
"I just feel like I should be... Better. A better boyfriend for you guys, but every time I try, I always ruin it."
"You don't need to be a better boyfriend, you're perfect, Haru."
Haru shook his head.
"But I'm not." He whispered.
"Of course you are, babe." Sousuke said as him and Rin entered the room.
"I'm sorry I'm always yelling at you.." Rin sobbed.
"It's not your fault Rin." Haru mumbled.
"Well, it's not yours either!"
"Want to go for a swim and we'll talk about this later?" Makoto asked.
Rin and Sousuke nodded but Haru gave a shrug and a 'whatever'.
'I'll fix everything I've done wrong, I promise.'
